DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.................................49.
Adventurous.....................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking................Moooo.
Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure...........On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free Spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first.....................Former slut.
New-Age........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No B.J.'s
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional........................Hooker.
Voluptuous......... ................Very fat.
Large frame..........................Hugely fat.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe.................................No
We need...............................I want
We need to talk......................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead........................You better not
Do what you want..................You will pay for this later
I am not upset..............Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight.....Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry...........................I am hungry
I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you.............................Let's have sex now
I am bored..........................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?.........I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?.......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to a movie?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to dinner?......I'd like to have sex with you.
Those shoes do not go with that outfit.............I'm gay
