| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:31:26 AM | | To begin there is a big difference between being jaded and just having a sense of bitterness due to a previous relationship. Jaded as defined by Webster is to be made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit. Where as bitterness is expressive of sever pain, grief or regret. So anyone who has ever had thier heart broken is going to be bitter at some point due to the fact that they were hurt but in time they will be alleviated of the pain. When someone has been jaded they feel that they have been hurt to the point that any man/woman is just a waste of time, they would rather find happiness in solitude then attempt to be with someone and risk the pain again. Their emotion receptors basically shut down and the healing process sometimes never begins....these are the people who use others for sex fearing to ever jump into a relationship because they either can not feel or do not wish to feel the pings of which love will give. Alot of jaded people will actually turn to people of the same sex for companionship because they feel that the opposite sex is no longer worth thier time or expense. | |
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10of6
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Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 77 | |
| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:56:59 AM |
these are the people who use others for sex fearing to ever jump into a relationship because they either can not feel or do not wish to feel the pings of which love will give. Then I guess it's the "uber-jaded" who don't even want to participate in sex because of the possibility of a messy emotional and unnecessary-responsibility aftermath? | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:40:19 AM | Alot of jaded people will actually turn to people of the same sex for companionship because they feel that the opposite sex is no longer worth thier time or expense.
So, being jaded is responsible for homosexuality?? Really?
What about the pre-jaded homosexuals?
And I hear that gay women are more of a P.I.T.A. than straight men! (possessive, psychotic, drama-laden, etc) | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:04:07 AM | | Some of you need some serious couch time at $190 an hour You know who you are.............................. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:02:34 AM | 10of6 honey, you are 28 yrs old and have it all figured out ay? Come back once you've had a life or 2 and we'll talk, k?
When you have more to contribute to the topic than ad hominem attacks on someone merely because they are half your age, then you might be in a position to ask for respect because you are an elder. As it stands, all you have shown us is despite your age, your age hasn't afforded you the wisdom to debate 10of6's posts.
Nothing wrong at all. Like anger, which is considered one of the deadly sins in Christianity, it's much maligned by Western civilization control freaks.
Cynicism (being jaded) is as valuable as anger, which is as valuable as elation and despair. They are survival skills.
On topic, I have to agree with 10of6.
Being jaded is not terminal. There is a difference between being merely cynical and jaded, and being totally damaged goods.
I have dated people who were quite jaded, and had good realtionships despite their being jaded. And vice versa.
You can be jaded and still be optimistic. Better than being not jaded and pessimistic. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:37:42 AM | | For all those who dismiss being jaded as a sign of self-pity, neurosis or any other description that has negative connotations, get a life yourselves! Seriously, what's the worst thing you have endured in life?; broken heart romance, a divorce---sounds somewhat trivial to me. People who always try to put a happy face on everything are quite often living in denial, and this facade prevents them from probing the nature of human existence. Instead, these people take refuge in banality, and as I learned long ago, banality teaches you nothing. Jaded people, in my estimation, are those who have been around the block, and no longer have patience for petty bulls***. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 12:34:12 PM | Do you really mean doth we learn from ones mistakes? there is nowt wrong with learning and growing and evolving. I mean just ask the chimps ;)
If so I refute the term jaded...and would prefer it replaced with boot wearer (oi above the knees)or handsome slipper wearer flutters eyelashes
tooters off to sulk in the corner...most likely with a plate of muffins..erm to combat said bitterness/allegory/esoteric or whatever clap trap the interpretor wanted to hear..cept the truth bit.
I think I made my point. | |
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10of6
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Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 85 | |
| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 1:26:14 PM | | As far as the ad hominems, I only have this to say. It's from former Air Force general and former CEO of Martin-Marietta (a homey!) Norman Augustine: "If you're receiving flak, you're probably on target." | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 2:10:23 PM | You know you are on the net when people make up a life for themselves. Now my Husband ,Former Marine corps 16 years.........2 tours Nam would love to question you...My sister who lwet USAF as an E9 would love to question you...and my father God rest his soul who earned the Bronze STAR in the US ARMY is looking down at you with great pity.............Anyway we should respect each other's opinions here and at least listen....
myself I have seen too much...I have a low opinion of men sexually becuase they think with thier organs not thier brains...If they were gentlemen they might actually get some YA YA....until then Mary Palmer will suffice for them..............  | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 5:06:39 PM | Hey Dollfacexx re: msg 78 ...um why you got to write like that? Huh? Did your computer run out of paragraph breaks?
And before you go ahead and disrespect me, think about this: I was the inspiration for this whole stupid, endless, opinionated thread. Ask the OP. Ask chillpill. My post in another thread inspired this unresolvable discourse.
I'm bitter, jaded, cynical, caustic and sarcastic, because I think it's cool, man. I'm sexy and sophisticated. World weary, as it were. I seen it all and I done it all. I am a bourgeois fvck without the money. I hate new age Pollyanna's and the tyranny of feel good, self improvement culture. I prefer to stew in my own juices.
So...wanna go out? | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 5:47:13 PM | The more I read this thread the more disturbing I find it. Whatever happened to just moving on from negativity?
Does it really take 1,657 words (msg 78) to make a point DollfaceXX? | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 5:55:57 PM | Ok so along with the dictionary I will add the Thesauras version of the word... blah, blase', bored, dulled, fatigued, weary, worn...
Now that sounds appealing doesn't it when relating it to the dating world.. I just can't wait to meet a man who is dulled and fatigued.... lol... I'd say if someone is jaded they have been ridden just a tad to hard don't you think? That maybe they need to kick back and take it easy in the dating world and find a way to refresh themselves? I am not going to hang my hat on feeling this is a badge to be worn as in wisdom of the ages... I would say a jaded, dulled person needs to be refreshed in the coolness of the stream for a bit.... yes we have had life experiences that bring many to this state, truly it is a learning experience... I've been there and most ppl my age have.... as a matter of fact what a relief it would be to walk into the world with this knowledge and be refreshed... funny I was talking with a friend tonight about letting go of negativity because it makes you physically ill..... that sometimes you need to forgive and move on.. to not carry it around anymore because what does it get you but an ulcer.. nothing wrong with suffering from indifference to the dating world I suppose if you don't pull some fresh unsuspecting soul into it....
Fresh.... Kool & the Gang
Conversation is going 'round
People talking 'bout the girl who's come to town
Lovely lady pretty as can be
No one knows her name she's just a mystery
I have seen her maybe once or twice
The one thing I can say thought she's very nice
She's a lady one I really want to know
Somehow I've got to let my feeling show
CHORUS
She's fresh exciting
She's so exciting to me
She's fresh exciting
She's so inviting to me yeah
I've been thinking about the way you walk
Baby I like the way you talk
Tell you something I really can't hide
Heaven must have sent you to be by my side
Fresh and lovely like a dream come true
I'll give anything to spend the night with you
What a feeling and I can't stop it baby
Miss frisky lady take me away
REPEAT CHORUS
She's fresh as a summer breeze
She'll take you by surprise
She means so much to me
I'll do whatever to make her minebaby
Oh yeah
Oh yeah she's fresh so fresh
She's fresh she's so fresh (x2)
Fresh as a summer breeze
She's fresh she's so fresh
She means so much to me
Yeah I want to take her by the hand
And pray she'll understand
'Cause I love the way she walks
And ooh baby I love the way she talks
I've got something and I hope she'll understand
Miss frisky lady
She's fresh
She's fresh she's so fresh
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:08:47 PM | bump bump LOL....not only are you witty but you have proper diction........
I am impressed! Jeanne in a good mood...oh by the way I do not drink.... | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:18:53 PM | | I dont think there is anything wrong with being jaded, its just being smarter and more paticular. Those who have had the perfect wonderful life without any betrayal or pain would not understand this, lucky, arnt they? I dont consider it to be a problem with my wanting to still be part of the dating world or else I wouldnt be here. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:13:52 PM |
I am a very healthy 54 year old lady who looks 41...
HEY! Who started this thread without letting El Capitano know?
I may be the Captain of my pirate ship, but I'm the Admiral of Battle-Fleet Jaded and Cynical.
Darling, being Queen Cougar and believing the boys who succumb to your advances telling you that you only look 41, doesn't mean much. Ask them how old you look AFTER they've stopped sharing your bed.
You look at least 45 and a half to me. I'm being conservative at the moment. Please send pictures of you naked and I'll make an impatial judgement. My guess is that, naked, you look exactly your age.
As for the OP:
I think there is a progression involved. It may be like the Spectrum of Cynicism.
At one end, as we fall in love our first time, there's a purity and beautiful innocence to our feelings for another. At the other end is jadeness and complete cynicism.
The first time you get kicked in the nuts (or other genitalia), you are still somewhat optimistic. That optimism may even last past the first few kicks in the goolies, but there is definitely a guardedness to each subsequent 'love'.
From personal experience, about the 12th time you've felt love and been kicked in the goolies is about what it takes to reach the end of the spectrum that's farthest from the good end.
Individual results/experiences may vary.....
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:59:36 PM | Anyway we should respect each other's opinions here and at least listen....
myself I have seen too much...I have a low opinion of men sexually becuase they think with thier organs not thier brains...If they were gentlemen they might actually get some YA YA....until then Mary Palmer will suffice for them........
I think this is why you, dollface, haven't, and will not get, respect from men in this thread.
What are you thinking with when you're "sexually" motivated?
While I don't like the term "jaded", I can agree with the alternative definition that's been expressed here: jaded = realistic.
I consider myself a realist and can spot the chip on a woman's shoulder a mile off.
What I find ironic is, although I prefer to date women near my age (47), it seems many of them (not all) seem to be the ones toting the yule-log. [example above, within quotations]
If your a single woman here, listen to the men. They actually do know sh1t!
just a few thoughts | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:22:27 PM | I just read post 78 and now I have double vision for life. But I have to say this. You are insane. To reiterate: You should have thrown in few paragraph breaks. Proof of your insanity is there. There for everyone to witness. I mean "you" in the general sense. As in we are ALL a little bit insane. I AM a wild and crazy guy that eschews paragraph breaks.
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:59:36 PM | we are ALL a little bit insane
Hmmmm....I suppose no one could be considered perfectly normal...afterall who determines just what normal is? Everyone has their psychological blips.....and it can seem that the older one gets, the more those blips become established and a bigger part of one's personality, which I think is one reason why it is more difficult to find a partner when you're older. 'Set in your ways,' is what it used to be called. Anyway, 'jaded.' I don't think I am bitter, and if I'm jaded, it's still mildly so. I often feel like the naive one around a group of people my age. Not a pollyanna by any means, but I do not believe I have lived it all, done everything, or know everything. I would not be able to be with someone who is jaded, as I interpret the word. Not someone who was jaded or bitter. A healthy degree of cynicism is reasonable. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:33:13 PM | I had some ass tell me I was jaded because I expect any man I'm in a relationship with to be able to support me.
I think that's a reasonable request especially since my needs are simple, I like to eat, I enjoy being in from the cold and rain, I prefer being clothed to being naked when I go out in public....shoes are nice too.
So that is his definition of jaded. Like you said, there is the ying and the yang, you can't know how great something or someone is until you've experienced the bad ones, the losers.
Maybe like the prophet who wrote Ecclesiastes, we take the bitter with the sweet and the bitter makes the sweet so, so much sweeter. | |
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