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 ~Techno Wench~
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 26
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions pleasePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Here is what you want it to be.... it can't be anymore than what you allow it or make it be.

I met my partner via facebook, we have the same friends on here because we attended the meets (although we didn't know each other then), we're both grown ups with our own minds who have a ot of respect for each other.

This is a cyber world...it's exactly whatever you want it to be!
 *kath*
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 27
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:18:07 AM
OP if you are just on here to catch up with old aquaintances that you had chatted to prior to you getting involved in a relationship then there is no harm done but if you have re activated specifically to chat to new women because your partner still chats to people she already knew then that is a different kettle of fish all together.That is game playing and will end in tears.

Good luck.
 angeldelight19
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 28
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:21:24 AM

if your in a relationship the chatting to random women while {the little lady sleeps} is almost virging on cheating in my eyes


I have to agree with Alan on this............


if i was to get into a relationship i would hide my profile, but carry on chatting to the friends i have made BUT in the knowledge my partner knows exactly whats happening !


I agree 100% with this too, infact it is what both my ex and myself did


if you continue to try and make friend while {the little lady sleeps} you need to question your motives and if she is doing the same then talk about it and be open with each other about your use of this site


Tis True.....again


if you want harmless chat just stay on the forums !!!!! its open for all to see !
and make sure you hide your profile, it doesn't affect people contacting you from the forums, only the dating side......
 stewy1706
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 29
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:30:28 AM
Stewy quotes "if your in a relationship the chatting to random women while {the little lady sleeps} is almost virging on cheating in my eyes"

Each to their own, it would be a boring world if everyone thought the same, its also down to trust, did I mention that "{the little lady}" knows my password and will be reading ? now thats trust for you !
If I was chatting in a new profile and in msn then thats a different story...

still very interesting views and thanks for the time and comments
 stewy1706
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 30
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:36:53 AM
comment about delete this thread on first page

Oh I'm attention seeking ? or maybe I just have a wish to see different peoples opinuions and attitudes? or maybe I'm not allowed an opinion that some people are cynical lol
 hemeling
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 31
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:42:58 AM
It's down to the individual, but I'd stop talking to ladies and probably stop posting on the forums too, if I found someone, strangers can seem very glamarus via the medium of emails, in a way that's it's hard for real life people to compete with and it's all too easy to become infatuated with a font, I dare say most of us have done that, I don't believe we ever find the perfect partner, I just think it's sensible to stop looking. A partner conversing to other men on here wouldn't be a deal breaker, and I don't do jealousy, but I would express my practical concerns.
 alan0866
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 32
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:43:16 AM

If I was chatting in a new profile and in msn then thats a different story..


the differance with msn is you need to know someones mailing address to add them in the first place !!!!

on here as you know you just click contact !!

i think your just playing the field why if you just want to pass the time of day would you only want to talk to women !
your just trying to boost your ego or boost something !

And NO in your OP you didnt mention that THE LITTLE LADY had your password
just from that statment THE LITTLE LADY shows just how much respect you have for her
NONE !

As said before this will end in tears !
 lalby
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 33
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:48:32 AM
I forgot to put like with others on here,i wouldnt activly look for new people to chat to,it would just be the people i know already.
And i also wouldnt sit here chatting to people whilst my man was about,i think when both parties are about the pc should be off and they should be conversating with eachother.
 SuSuSudio
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 34
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:59:01 AM
want the number for the Trisha show or Jezza Kyle?

yet another candidate
yet another 'cyber' statistic

 Cleverkitten
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 35
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 5:13:14 AM
Change the record josh

Do you have shares in facespace or mybook or any of the other 'networking' sites you keep plugging ?

(now where did I put my wooden spoon )
 stew_67
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 36
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:42:14 AM
forum friends and posting seems ok but whats the part where your partner is talking to her ex ??? unless theres children involved then its not appropriate stewy,farther more i would end a relationship if she insisted on talking to ex especially if on mobile.
do as i say not as i do ,
 stewy1706
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 37
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:54:49 AM
the chatting with ex is either msn or text, no kids involved but a common interest in football, supporting the same team - they have history and its never a problem to me, yeah i know he wants more but surely i'm being adult about things - if i asked her to stop the contact i'd be wrong. wow suprised at the interest and a mixtures of veiws which was expected
 KBGB
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 38
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:03:20 AM
If her talking to an ex and other males isn't an issue why mention it?
It seems to be a motivating factor in your reactivating your account.
Your 'little lady' sounds insecure, with a do as I say not as I do attitude.
Why you are gauging opinion on here is beyond me, if you cant sort out such a trivial issue between you, then frankly you deserve each other.
 crazylilting
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 39
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:04:23 AM

f i asked her to stop the contact i'd be wrong.


No you wouldn't if you really didn't feel good about her doing it. But then again she was doing it before you met so you'd of been able to make an educated choice to be with someone who does that.

The point here isn't what other people think about your relationship with your partner. If you both agree that there is no problem with each others activities who are we to say anything about it? The fact is neither of you are totally ok with each others behaviours. It is not good enough to say "I won't make you change if you don't make me change" and this is what i see going on here. It is an adversarial relationship instead of love and respect for each other.

While you may think you are being judged by others here i can assure you i'm not judging you just pointing out what i see. At the end of the day i'm not in your relationship nor would i want to be.
 stew_67
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 40
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:06:54 AM
well stewy if your happy with that fine dude but if you were talking to an ex it would be a different kettle of fish as shes not happy with you on forums which is innocent enough or should be .
you state her ex is wanting more ??? footballs just an excuse .how long you been together ??..
cool name by the way stewy
^^^^^^^^crazylilting bang on :-)
 JuliannaM
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 41
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:27:07 AM

Lastly what is a reasonable reason to chat ? boredom surely fits the bill in my case


Then chat to males? :) I agree with the person who said you said youre not looking to get back at her but if its ok for her its ok for you? if youre both open about who you chat to no problem? but what if you end up preferring chatting to them as they come over as witty and great company as opposed to the person who has just finished a shift and had a bad day and isn't in the mood for to listen to you?. People who already have people in their lives in this way shouldn't be on a dating site chatting away to members of the opposite sex, there are loads of attached people here lying and im not saying you are but maybe they could leave it for those of us actively single and not just bored with who we already have?
 7rainbows
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 42
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:53:02 AM
Just because we are in relationships shouldnt mean we cant have friends. It dosnt mean we have to give up our hobbies and interests or finding friends who share similar interests.

This is a dating site though so pretty daft coming on here if your not looking to date someone. Are there any sites you can make friends with people who do share your interests, not just on there looking for dates? Though of course sometimes you do find friends on these hobby and interest sites who you do end up dating, not unheard of.
 sunflora
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 43
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:51:17 AM
So long as, (as previously said) you are chatting with people that you chatted to before you met your lady I do not see that there is anything wrong with it. What screams out to me is where you say

recently realised that she is still chatting to an ex and a few male friends,

did she tell you about this, or did you just happen to stumble across it?? Had she actually been hiding this away from you?

Last year I got chatting to a guy and he was also chatting to others, he got together with a lady and told me he HAD to stop texting/chatting. Fair enough I said... 6 months along, he text me out of the blue, I presumed he and his lady had split up because of the 'friendliness' of his texts, but no he was texting me behind her back! I didn't want to be the cause of any future arguments so I told him it would be best if he didn't text me behind her back - to which he agreed. I am not saying this is what you intend to do, or what she is doing... I think if you are both very open and honest about who you are messaging and speaking with then fair enough but... if each party is willing to accept that it is purely for friendship/boredom sake I cannot see any problem.

In my view, to do this there has GOT TO BE 100% trust and honesty on both sides....
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 44
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:54:04 AM
Stewy, you are in a relationship and still chatting to random females.....

Your "little lady" is also in a relationship (with you !) and chatting to random males ....

Now I may be missing something but IMO it wont be long before the Green Eyed Monster raises its head, and you are both referring to each other as " the ex "

Quit typing on here and talk to your lady about what is going on here. Otherwise you will lose her.
 vwulme
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 45
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:07:10 AM
As I see it there is always a "risk" of either partner being tempted away if they are not both committed to the relationship.

I chat to male friends of over 5 years who I met via a different dating site (have not been on them all that time) I now chat to their new partners as well and have visited their homes. I wouldn't expect a new partner to give up old friends, expect me to do so.

You say she has your password, I personaly find that odd I would never look at anyones account unless they personally showed it to me, but if that suits you both then fine, do you have her password too?

And are you both being honest with the other people you chat to telling them you are both now in a relationship?

The fact that you have posted the thread at all suggests to me that there might be doubts creeping in. If so then I agree with the other posters who suggest you should be talking to each other.
 Cleverkitten
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 46
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:07:58 AM

This is a dating site though so pretty daft coming on here if your not looking to date someone


This has been done to death on many other threads, by people in relationships who still like to debate on the forums. Yes, it may well be a dating site, BUT, you don't have to want a date to debate on the forums.

I think the OP has said he resurrected his account, not created a new one, therefore he didn't come looking for a date, but a debate.
 Flores xxx
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 47
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:10:26 AM
I have read your profile and it explains who you are. This is an old man who is looking for attentions from other people in a very big way.

Each to their own.
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 48
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:15:41 AM
Bloody hell, if HE is old, then I have No chance !!!!
 Cleverkitten
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 49
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I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:25:30 AM

This is an old man who is looking for attentions from other people in a very big way.



I hope when you reach the ripe 'old' age that he is, you will appreciate being called an old woman (FYI I am ten years older than him and don't class myself as old)

And aren't we all looking for attention in some shape or other by posting our thoughts on a forum like this ?

If I make a comment I feel to be amusing and it gets a reaction, I am happy.

(does that make me an attention seeker lol)
 stewy1706
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 50
I'll try this in uk forums, opinions please
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:34:54 AM
age is just a number, its attitude and outlook that count - in my eyes, but maybe thats something we say when we get called old !
Been with this little lady since sept 07 (no names intentionally as its not needed) and we are commited but dont live in each other pockets, I have my own place due to working shifts and it gives us somewhere to spend quality time together - her place gives her kids their space.
Ever tried going to the gym at midnight or after a long 12 hour night shift, I'd spill my cornflakes on the treadmill ! thats why my profiles still of use to me, a reason to unwind, relax and share a few smiles.
Also this site lets me look for friends/ email so althought its called a dating site it surely has other uses ? does my profile say i'm looking to date ? no it doesn't
Feeling as tho I'm defending us both now so maybe time I stopped posting here - all I was after was opinions on a situation that we had debated about
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