|
|
|
|
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/21/2009 10:21:58 PM | Wow.. what a fantastic way to start off a potential relationship .. by playing head games .
 | |
|
| |
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 12:33:15 AM |
no guy who is looking for a good girl is going to go about luring women to have sex to see if they bite - WesternWildRose
No guy who goes about luring women to have sex with him on a first date, as part of a test to see if they take the bait, deserves a good girl. We are good girls, right? None of us swear, drink to excess, kiss, neck, have sex, dance on tables..... topless..... or do other inappropriate things on a first date ... right ladies?
   
I do have to say that there are some really awesome guys on here who are not game players & who are sincerely looking for someone that they are willing & ready to commit spending the rest of their lives with. It's unfortunate, though, that they get so lost amongst all those who are game players & who ruin the dating game for the good guys.
To all you good guys who are perfect gentlemen with sincere intentions, good morals, know how to treat a lady with respect & all that other shyte that we ladies like in a man ... we really do appreciate you, so thanks for being who you are.   | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:02:46 AM | I've met quite a few guys who have admitted to making sexual moves on the first date for the sole purpose of seeing if the gal will bite or not. Apparently it's their way of testing her to see if she's made up of good moral fiber or in order to determine whether she is worthy of their love
Thnak god this kind of assine thinking is limited to the mentally challenged. I met my ex wife at a club is Seattle in 86 we had great chemistry on the dance floor( If a woman has great moves on the dance floor, she will have great moves in the bedroom) and we would up at my place at the end of the night. If I had used that kind of backward mentality I never would have married her a year later, nor would I have had our wonderful kids(The loves of my life) from said marriage. Althought we never lasted as a couple, she is still one of my best friends and a fantastic mom, I would put her moral fiber up against anyone and knows without a doubt she can hold her own.
What if you were in a long/ term relationship with your special love, then dicovered that he/she had made a move on you on your first date as part of a test to determine your morals, values & potential as a partner
I doubt very much if a person with this kind of mentality will ever admit to playing such a game. And I doubt very much if I could ever fall in love with someone whose thought process ran in that direction anyway. No relationship can survive if started with deception.
just ignore her calls & emails, never speak to her again & leave her forever wondering what went wrong after such a good date
Honestly Op most of these guys are full of more crap that a clogged up toilet bowl. They are just finding excuses for their bad behavior. They are into the pump and dump, have no real interest in finding a long term relationship, but they go around pretending it's the woman's fault they are not in one. If the woman passed their "moral Fiber" test, They would still find a quick reason to move of to easier prey. This story they tell is just something to make them look better. It goes over much easier that the truth which is they are just man whores. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:04:39 AM | I find this question and topic mind boggling. 
As in,,, no matter what anyone thinks, we all have some form of "testing" going in our heads when we initially meet a "potential". We may not call it "testing", but if you really think about it,,,,it's going on. Maybe the OP just doesn't like the way these "guys" she talks to are doing "their" testing,,,,and actually admitting it!!!! I'm not saying it's the correct "test",,,but it "theirs" and you can not point fingers at them for deciding on what kind of things they are looking for in a potential.
Again,,,I'm not agreeing with the procedure. I know there are a lot of easier ways to figure out "morals,values and potential" of a partner. Enjoying or having sex with an consenting adult is NOT one of them, in my opinion.(Everyone read "consenting" and "adult" here??????)
What do you think about men or women who use games of deception as part of the weeding process to find their one true love?
Are you talking about this WHOLE site and ALL of us on it???? As in pictures that show only the "best features" of a person???? Or, the list that some put on their profiles that magnifies the "good stuff" of a person,,,,and never the "bad side". And,,,,ummm, we ALLLLLLL have some things that can be classified as not so great. We are human after all. I suggest we are ALL guilty of it, in one form or another. It seems to me(correct me if I am wrong), that the OP is more upset about the "sex" content of the men's "test".
I'm also still trying to figure out the "deception" part of this whole question. Is the "deception" definition aimed towards the men because they are NOT looking for sex,,,,but just giving the OP the perception they WANT sex with her,,,but in reality they DON'T???? Because it has already been stated that the men WILL have the sex if allowed,,,but then say they will phone the next day and say ADIOS????? I think I am going to suggest that these men are NOT doing any testing at all. Plain and simple they are trying to get sex,,,,,but use the reasoning (or excuse) of their "test" to blindside some out there.
I am also throwing my arm up volunteering myself for any females who want to do this "test" on me!!!!!!! I don't mind failing it at all and I also don't mind do this "test" over and over again,,,until I finally get it right!!!!!! Anyone???? Anyone??????? | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:18:35 AM | To all you good guys who are perfect gentlemen with sincere intentions, good morals, know how to treat a lady with respect & all that other shyte that we ladies like in a man...we really do appreciate you, so thanks for being who you are
OP, you had me in your corner until you wrote this, if these "good guys" are so appreciated these days, how do you explain the 10,000 "nice guys" that can't find a woman thread that we have to spend so much time deleting in these forums everyday?. If in fact most women were looking for these "nice guys" they would all be in long term relationships right now, having the life sucked out of them by one of these clingy and needy guys.
Fact is most women love a guy that's somewhat unpredictable, unpredictable guys are never boring, needy, or clingy. The trick is to find this guy with a rough edge that's not a game player,that you match up with perfectly.
And for the record, personally I don't want a "nice girl" to be in a relationship with, The only thing a "nice girl" can do for me it give me the phone number of a not so nice girl. I like my women with a bit of an edge to them, I will take a pass on June Clever.
Sex should never be used as any kind of test, some women will withhold sex for a certain period at the start of a dating. Thinking if they give in too easy it's not going to last or they will just be a booty call. Both sides need to stop playing games with sex, sex is a part of the dating and getting to know a potential partner process. Sexual compatibility is very important to a long term relationship. Whether you get that out the way on the first date or the 60th date, really should not be relevant, sex should happen when it feels right for BOTH parties involved. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 3:28:05 PM | | This ain't high school. Every adult on this site knows how the game is played and the only rule is personal responsibility. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:33:13 PM |
I find this question and topic mind boggling.............
.............
I am also throwing my arm up volunteering myself for any females who want to do this "test" on me!!!!!!! I don't mind failing it at all and I also don't mind do this "test" over and over again,,,until I finally get it right!!!!!! Anyone???? Anyone???????
walts now that I call subtle on both accounts, no make that ALLLLLL!!!
Seems to me you also just graduated from Sales 101 Congratulations, perfect PR work
If you should get too many offers and fear for your life, don't forget to call your friends to help out
I'm also still trying to figure out the "deception" part of this whole question.....
perhaps the OP is referring to women who did offer sex and got rejected now feeling bad, or women who did go for the test and then the next day have regrets, feeling bad
in either case those may need someone else to blame...kinda the " it wasn't my fault, I was mislead, I'm still a good girl"
Indeed there are many ways to learn about the qualities of a potential partner, if learning sex is good is the first stage both may bias their opinions, not necessary for the better. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:59:52 PM | | I know a few people with Disabilities who don't mention it intheir profile. Is that wrong? Should people be judged on their illness rather their personality? | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 5:37:18 AM |
Iknow a few people with disabilities who don't mention it in their profile.Is that wrong?
Yes that's wrong, people need to make informed decisions, a disability is something potential dates need to know. besides some people look at being impotent as a disability, my guess is a woman would want to know in advance if you can't keep your yang up. | |
|
XHTML
|
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 36 | |
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:08:16 AM | Hmmm, if someone has a "chip on their shoulder" on certain social issues, or appoints themselves as the spokesperson for those issues, would those qualities be considered disabilities, that should be disclosed on their profile?
We see that here in the forums, so am wondering about that. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:26:53 AM | Hmmm, if someone has a "chip on their shoulder" on certain social issues, or apponts themselves as spokesperson for those issues, would those qualities be considered disabilities, that should be disclosed on their profiles?
We all have certain social issues that's near and dear to our hearts. If speaking out on them in the forums is a disability, they we are all disabled. The forums are a place to voice our opinions, some things we feel very strongly about, thus we are much more passionate when speaking about those topics. A person voicing their opinion should never be looked at as a spokesperson for anything, just because they are passionate. A woman can be passionate about her rights to choose, that does not make her the spokesperson for abortion rights. Everyone need to be passionate about something in their life!!!!.
Which brings us to another point, some people are forever trying to insult others in a not so subtle way here in the forums(because they lack the intestinal fortitude to be direct), should we then label these people the spokesperson for ***holes, of course not, if making jerks of themselves works for them, it's all good, live and let live, that's the true spirit of the forums. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:56:08 AM |
I know a few people with Disabilities who don't mention it intheir profile. Is that wrong? Should people be judged on their illness rather their personality?
I think this is a personal decision, really. I wouldn't feel I'd been deceived if someone chose to reveal more personal details about themselves after we'd gotten to know each other a little bit. When it becomes my "business" to know would depend on what the disability was and if or how it might impact any potential relationship. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:06:32 AM | Tyeee and Wildman.... get a room! Bury the hatchet girls, it's getting old.
OT Full disclosure of what ails one is something that a "couple" will decide when the time is right. Until then, yes we can keep some things to ourselves. It is a matter of comfort and trust that will lead two people to revealing certain things to each other.
I think that you should be above board with someone you are interested in, but there is no point in revealing too many intimate details when you are first getting to know each other.
Love is deceptive, and mysterious, and multi-faceted. | |
|
XHTML
|
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 40 | |
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:13:46 AM | You are too funny wildman. LOL.
I was thinking of people that chain themselves to doors of a building, or roadblocks to save a tree, speak the reporters, etc. Let's not forget the "Raging Grannies".
When I was a director of the Chamber of Commerce we directors would sit with new members and guests at luncheons to make them feel welcome. I sat a table with an unfamiliar woman. We chatted about her work, something to do with counting fish.
Our guest speaker was an MLA (now that I think about it believe he was the recently deceased Stan Hagen). Shortly after he got to the podium the woman at my table stood up and quite loudly and rudely challenged him about some issue. Everyone in the room was staring at in our direction in shock, and I felt like crawling under the table in embarrassment. It was the first time any of our luncheons had been disrupted like that.
I learned later she was a Raging Granny. She obviously had a chip on her shoulder about something and was the spokesperson.
I know all about being passionate for causes and champion a few myself. I have also mentioned this in my profile from time to time. Howver I would never behave as she did, and sure as hell wouldn't want to date her or someone like that!
If I see the profile of a woman who boasts to be a Raging Granny I'll click next. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:19:07 AM | I think this is a personal decision
I think it totally depends on the "disability" also. Somethings should be revealed asap, while others can wait until you see if there is any potential. Years ago while on another site I met a very nice woman, she had many many pictures in her profile, we talked for a few weeks online and on the phone. We decided to go see the Bruce Springsteen concert as a first meet, I went to pick her up and she came out in a wheelchair. it's a good thing I was driving a 4b4 at the time, but once we got to the concert, it caused many problems, the seats were not easy to get to by wheel chair. So the people had to be running around trying to accomidate us for a totally sold out concert. They kept telling us we should have let them know about her being in a wheelchair. But it worked out great for us, they wound up putting us right up front, and Bruce Springsteen sent her his music sheet at the end of the concert.
All in all not a bad night after things were sorted out. When I got back home I went back online to look at her pictures again, all the signs were there, if you knew what to look for, either she was holding on to something in all her pictures, or she was sitting or lying down. She was really a blast to hang out with though, we even went dancing a few times. But I can't help but think something like that should be revealed before the first meet, I still would have went out with her, but maybe not a concert as the first date.
Tyeee and Wildman, get a room
I don't hold grudges in these forums piggy, I speak my mind and move on, I might totally disagree with someone in one thread, while being in total aggreement with them in another. It's never personal, nor should it be. It's very unfortunate that not everyone view the forums the same way.
If I see a profile os someone that boast to be a raging granny, I click next
This term is quite foreign to me, honestly I have no concept of these women. But the kind of woman you describe in your post is not someone I would want to date. Nothing wrong with being passionate about a cause, but it's a very thin line between being passionate and howling at the moon crazy. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 8:52:45 AM |
I think it totally depends on the "disability" also. Somethings should be revealed asap, while others can wait until you see if there is any potential.
I agree with that. For wheelchair disability & similar, I would expect that someone would disclose in the first email or two, if it wasn't in their profile. I'd certainly consider first meeting a bit late, and kudos to you for making the best of the situation. | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:26:35 AM | Hmmm, if someone has a "chip on their shoulder" on certain social issues, or appoints themselves as the spokesperson for those issues, would those qualities be considered disabilities, that should be disclosed on their profile?
We see that here in the forums, so am wondering about that.
^^
how the hell is a personality characteristic a disability???
how did we get from using sex as head games to scope out the sluts from the relationship worthy to this?
this is not a good day for me to quit coffee
k, anyone with a REAL disability would find that comment insulting ... my .02
second, yes, not disclosing a person's disability or any other impertinent information within the first few convos is deceiving but it is NOT head games
this goes deeper .. it is the person who is trying to get notice and be liked without being judged.. its lack of esteem
can you blame them? look at the world we live in where the judgements are free for all and mostly negative
or ...maybe the opposite... maybe those with disablities really don't see themselves as having one?
third, if we really want to be general about deception in the dating world
WE ALL DO IT!
we all have something about ourselves we hide to make ourselves more desirable
but still.. this is quite far from the topic of the this thread
again..just my wee little .02 | |
|
| Finding Love Through Deception
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:34:06 AM |
how the hell is a personality characteristic a disability???
Some would say that compulsive lying, habitual stalking & other such negative traits could be considered a disability.
I agree that major disabilities such as being in a wheelchair or whatever should be revealed prior to the first date, especially since your date might have planned a surprise that includes a physical activity (ex: like a walk in the trails) that one is not able to do. Or your wheelchair may not fit in your date's vehicle if they are driving a compact car. I have a friend whose walker is quite large & can't fit into my vehicle ... also she is unable to lower herself into my car due to her disability & needs to ride in a higher vehicle that is easier for her to get in & out of.
However, other not so visible disabilities that are less restricting can wait until you get to know the person a little better, especially if it will have minor impact on a relationship, & some things need to be explained in detail. I'm guessing that most people would prefer not to include their personal & detailed medical history in their profile. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
