| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 8:59:28 AM | | I have faced this when my olders were little and I wanted them in swimming lessons. They were your kids ages and I had to get my mom to do the lessons with us, because it was a 1-on-1 ratio for lessons. However, since then It has never been an issue, I took the two of them for swimming on my own for fun, and as I have added more kids to my family we have continued. Now I take 4 under 10 with no issue. I just put life preservers on the little ones, and I do follow the within arms reach rule. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 9:06:34 AM | You know it's funny you say that...Just lst week the gated community that i reside in was having an annual cook out for the parents and children in the communit, Well when i showed up they asked me where the mother of my child was and i replied that her and i was no longer together that we had spliiten up.....The guy who was in charge of running everything then told me that its was a family event and without my other spouse that me nor my child was able to attend it....But yet i have paid my dues to live here and i have paid my dues to attend the gathering..Needless to say we had a few "choice" words and i went own my way..I find it hateful that a community would be like that...I also feel with you on meeting women that when they find out you're a single father they run a hide. But yet they dont stop to think what if i was single? What would i expect from a man? Heck its seems to melike a woman would be more turned on and flattered that a man for once stood up and accepted responsabilities....Gets me i tell ya.... | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 9:38:52 AM | Well in the middle east it's the single people who are asked to sit off to the side. Families are given priority and preference in restaurants and the like. Go figure huh?
Maybe we could separate funding for single parent pools so you wouldn't have these problems. Kind of like the separate catholic schools here in Canada. We could extend that to single parent schools so your kids could feel normal.
We would have full family swim time - single parent swim and senior swim time.
Aren't we taking this a bit far. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 11:17:02 AM | Just lst week the gated community that i reside in was having an annual cook out for the parents and children in the communit, Well when i showed up they asked me where the mother of my child was and i replied that her and i was no longer together that we had spliiten up.....The guy who was in charge of running everything then told me that its was a family event and without my other spouse that me nor my child was able to attend it....But yet i have paid my dues to live here and i have paid my dues to attend the gathering.
In the OP's case, it could be a safety issue. However, in your case, I believe it is a clear case of arbitrary discrimination. It is almost a certainly they didn't prevent single mothers with children from entering and likely not even single women.
You should have hung around to see if a couple of single mothers with children were admitted and, if so, went straight to an attorney to sue for discrimination, mental stress, the fees you paid and will pay, and punitive damages. If you are willing to do a little investigation, it is not too late to do that. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:02:00 PM | | Hmm, an 11 year old should not need any assistance in the pool and the two little ones should have armbands. If the staff of this particular swimming pool has been a bunch of bumholes to you, why don't you go elsewhere? Council tax has nothing to do with using the pool, it's not financed from that, but from your entrance fee. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:30:40 PM | Your right she shouldnt need assistance, matter of fact she could have been assistance for me!
On the subject of going somewhere else where, this aint England, nearest pool is 20 miles away, out of the council area and the kids didnt really dig being told they werent going swimming the first time, they are 2 and 3 and the power of reason aint that strong.
My rates pay for everything the council owns, how do you think they pay for things?
Entrance fee's alone could never pay for the running of one pool for a week let alone 3!
Take it you work for a local authority as you attitude seems to be "If you don't like it, feck off somewhere else!" Didnt you read what i said! I already got that advice that day. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:47:49 PM | | No, I don't work for local authority. And I find your response very negative, as I was trying to give helpful suggestions, not at all to tell you to f off somewhere else. Those are your words. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 2:09:31 PM | John,
the feck word is not the reason your response is negative. It is the fact that you leashed out at me and made negative assumptions about what I meant. You hear what is already inside of you. If you are filled with negativity, then everybody will seem to be out there to get you. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:29:59 PM | Some people are biased towards single parents....and you will find having children adds a bit of a challenge to dating for more than that reason alone.
As for the incident at the pool...they have a health and safety rule"...it is not put there to discriminate...it is a health and safety rule. At least now you know and can bring along another adult next time. You could have handled it somewhat differently and perhaps your children would not have been in tears.... | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:54:28 PM | Smells like Facism to me. What is this world comming too under the blanket excuse of "Safety and Security". Back in the good ole days my mother used to pile all six of us in the Gran Torino drop us off at the pool give us 50 cents each for a snack take off and come back hours later to pick us up.
And btw can I please have my corks back what's so wrong with a little civility, drinking wine from a twist off cap is scandalous. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:56:17 PM | | hi i just had to write something here.you are a true father for caring for your children be proud cause so many fathers arent there for thier children.believe me i have soul custody and my ex wants nothing to do with them.as for this centre they need a wake up call.cause you are there for your kids.it don;t matter if u are a father with 3 girls or a mother with 3 boys.it just ticks me off that this centre did this.....is there another centre the kids can take lessons if so talk to the manger and see what u can do and be there for your girls....my heart goes out to you.....hugggggggggggs | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:39:12 AM | torquoise pixie i suggest you read your first post and try to tell me where the helpful point's where?
I tried to answer your point's and it isnt a personal attack. If i wasnt angry that day why would you think im an angry person, although judging by other replies to this thread i should be | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/21/2009 5:29:29 PM | I don't see anything wrong with Pixie's original post.
I think you have just demonstrated the attitude you used at the pool in front of your children.. Its no wonder they were unwilling to accommodate your query. Politeness goes a long way, attitude gets you no where...Poor kids.. Maybe holding your tongue will allow your kids to have more activities they can participate in. Truth hurts sometimes... | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/21/2009 6:18:47 PM | Eh, there may be some argument in the way you approached the matter, but the fact is that in many areas, single dads are looked at with a jaundiced eye.
I have been accosted for photographing my daughter during her swim lessons at the YMCA here, as well, and I've watched mothers photographing random kids during the same session - it happens, it gets annoying, but the fact is that pointing out the hypocrisy to the offending party never sinks in. They just get more high and mighty on you.
Your best bet is to do what you're doing - get the media involved, since your local council appears to have no interest in fairness.
(btw; my grandpa always used to say "Fair is a word people use when things are going their way") | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:25:38 AM | Well people approach things diffrent Rustic, but belive me your calm calm approach would have got the same response. If you bend over and accept these rulings then you give ruling authoritys the right to do anything. Dont for get that 2 parents with 3 children under 16 arent getting in either, but i know they wouldnt enforce that or that of a single mother and kids, to non p.c
I was far from aggressive, but if i had the chance again and he threated me with the police over nothing with out listening to me, id make sure he had a reason to ring the police. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:36:22 AM | | More than likely.. The thing is though, if they have had problems in the past because of lazy parents that don't give two hoots. They're probably just protecting their own a$$'s so they don't get sued.. But the reaction of the staff member was probably uncalled for.. I've never heard of it here in Aus.. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 3:47:48 AM | Is this "all men are potential pedos" attitude mainly an Anglo-Saxon thing? Right now we're vacationing in Spain, and I've received nothing but friendly stares when we walk through the streets, and even was congratulated because my child loves to hug and kiss me.
The same goes for family-friendly places, and yes, we went to a public pool where I took many pics of my child having a good time in the water together with other kids, and nobody said anything. The same happened in parks and the like. Moreover, passerbys courteously waited until I took the pics to avoid messing them. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:28:26 AM | Thank god we live in Australia .The land of freedom.
I have worked as a security guard at a lot of public swiming pools,
And we do not have these implications at all.But we do have
one rule which every one adhere to ,No any form of photo nor video's
on swiming pool grounds.Other than that you can have as many children as you want in the pool at any time.And another thing I do agree with mesg 11 .About your status now been a single parent for only 19 days.Mate it is hard at first but the bitterness will wear off in the long run about your ex.Be proud of what you are ,A FATHER.
it consists of a lot of things.In future avoid headaches and take them to the beach ,it's a lot cleaner.In the future think about the children of what effect will have on them
mentally.They are at no fault to be put through this.Trust me I have been
down that road and still am.and work on mistakes for the better. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:32:46 PM | I think that is discrimination also. You are their father. I wont let anyone else be with my children except ME!! I am also a single parent. My children are 14 and 5 both girls. I also dont like what some of the older girls say in pool rooms. My 5 yr old repeats EVERYTHING.
I believe that dad should accompany their daughters into a changing room. All the attendants have to do is to make sure no one else is in the room. You are going for their safety, not to pick up on anyone.
I hope that things do change for dads. I do believe in Fathers Rights for their children. Especially the dad who really fight for their kids. That is a true testament of a MAN. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/22/2009 8:28:20 PM | I took my two boys swimming alone from the time one was 6 months old and the other was 2 1/2 years. My boys learnt to swim exceptionally early but still I was never harassed about being alone with the boys. I not only took them to family swim but also to the regular swim times as well.
I took them swimming in Ottawa, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver and the small town that I live in. Never once was I told about any health and safety rules regarding being alone with my boys. | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/23/2009 8:49:13 AM | Well, I can understand your frustration over the whole situation ... both being denied entrance to the pool, and being "threatened" when trying to voice your concerns.
Here in Alberta, I have never been denied access to the pools ... and I regularly had 2-5 young children with me. (But we always used life jackets for the smaller kids ... for our own safety sakes).
Yep, that sounds just "wrong"... | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:23:40 PM | I would request a copy of the written policy. Read the policy, if it is in writing , you have no case. If it is not, then you were discriminated against, and depending on how strongly you feel about it contact a lawyer.
I am a single parent of two. My husband died. I would raise Cain if anyone ever tried to block my children and I from doing something unless the policy was clearly defined.
Did you notice if all the people in line came with two adults? How could ladies take their children to the pool during the day when their husbands were at work if it required two adults? | |
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tlm92
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Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 49 | |
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| Never thought single parents had it so bad.
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:55:44 AM | | am gonna have to agree with you on that and im an experienced single mum of ten years and in all this time being the mum of three myself i have had the same problem on holidays and days out granted mine are older now 1o, 11 and 14 but it still amazes me to this day how little understanding we get for doing one of the hardest jobs in the world and how they have no idea on the struggle we face dailey doing it alone and then contradict themselfs with advertisement saying child friendly all welcome and sneer at us when we arrive one parent to 3 or however many kids especialy in this day and age they should compensate for the fact that there is a lot of families in the same boat and most dont have both parents or any1 to help i certainly dont and never have had any1 willing and thats 1oyrs of doing stuff to suit every1 else as we become a health risk and all i want is a break anyway il moan all day bout this if i could as it gets my back up and not just swimming.... | |
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