| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/19/2009 11:14:09 PM | Some stay here to continuously revoke their license to breath... that is my raison d'sign-in. Personally this forum has been the best education for what I don't want in a relationship, someone I would purr-sieve as stoop-ID. Even though when I began expressing my spittle in this postable ... hoster.. I was more times suspended than actually writing and then .. all of a sudden the less creative .. writers started to leave my shit pile alone .. which was although enviably considerate it left me more room to expand .. or push the borders... NOT GOOD, but a friggin riot.. in dabble of babble.
All this is for me is a form of expression, and although most times dispassionate , it has taught me alot.
I understand on a very realistic level that my opprotunity to meet someone compatible is pretty slim to none .. and that the percentages of mate material is slim enuff so my chances of meating .. sum-#1 4 me, is likely gonnah happen in another three more lifetimes. The last four dates I have had for coffee I never felt like shaving the mustache let alone****temp-late the beard!
I like edgey people and informative ones and honest without polish.. which is only available in hilarity... and them there folks is hard to cum by.. I am looking for something I have not seen in anyone .. I tell friends I wannah meet someone like myself and they say,"good luck ." So I remain luckless and f'uckless but hey if I find someone extremely out and inter-resting.. I will definitely be long gone schlong off this site as I am as flexible as gumby if I met pokey...
I kindah believe that in order to be really good at something you gottah give it all.... and in order to be bonded you have to create.. and when you spend time actively creating .. some awesome things happen.. and if a good one crosses my path .. and I can feel the plates shift... and I want to know his mind.. I won't have time to play jinga with conjunction.. here any s'mores. Till then you're stuck ( no pun) with the worst of me until my next suspension or whatever cums first.
One thing is for sure .. that some here have become attached to my inner lining ... and because I live in such an isolated location it is good medicine to know via post-reads that there are some very evolved and amazing people in the "house" and a connection of expression via the mind's articulation into words is a valuable experience to the human condition. I have read growth in expressionism of many to form footholds in their own style of communication.. ... and that alone has made this trip in the forum forest .. very worthwhile. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/19/2009 11:28:33 PM | i was only briefly on pof as a "single", when i met my last significant other. i never dated anyone else while i was with him, even during a six month hiatus in our relationship when we were "just friends". he also wasn't dating and he always knew about pof. it just didn't interest him and he knew i wasn't a screw around.
during that period and through to now (alas, no longer together), i made forum friends from all over the world--all ages, both sexes. i speak to many on the phone more regularly than i do with my old nyc friends from before i moved here.
part of the reason is that i no longer work outside the home. i get a message on pof, it downloads to my outlook, i hear a bell ring and it's almost like answering the phone. if i was working my 80 hour week or in a relationship as i was until recently, i'd probably be on less, because i would be out more. however, there are a few people on pof, who i could call in the middle of the night, if so inclined (and vice versa). haven't had that sort of an emergency yet, but it's comforting to know that when in transition, some people out there really care. it's especially comforting when my neighbors are travelling or my kids are busy.
when i am in relationship again, i would simply click on not single/not looking. i do realize that there is a transition period to register that status. but, i am a one man woman and if/when i find him, he will know about pof and understand that despite it's virtuality, it is one of my "communities". i am very grateful to those who have found partners and who do remain on the forums. it gives me hope, it makes me happy and i feel that their involvement is not out of just their neediness, but out of their humanity and with respect and love for those of us who have cheered them on!
if you or a mate, are not forum participants and just browsing around, well then that is another story! occasionally i hear from people who read the forums, but still are not participating, except via private email. i would hope that they would eventually let their voices be heard, instead of the passive lurking about! many of them do have something to say, but for whatever reason, seem unable to become public. i guess, introverted, shy or just not used to this virtual world. never though i would be either and here i am! i will say however, that i miss the political, current events and spirituality forums. however, they are now safe elsewhere in cyberspace and probably just used up too much of the single site ram. if i had come on afterwards, i am not sure if i would have met as many quality people. but somehow they still manage to be heard. and of course, there are the times, we just need to "connect".
ps i do agree with above that there is a lot of negativity here as well. some are in great pain and i make exception for them. however, if you know how to speed read, even if it's one out of a hundred, there are some really amazing people here. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 12:05:54 AM | | Communication an some honesty on the profile.I have gone through forums,read postings an looked up profiles of various posters ,from comments posted.Both sexes,an have found quite a few have been honest enough to state on their profiles that they are taken/not looking--here for forums an friendships made.Not everyone on this site can be classed as players/the ratbag type etc... A lot of people do suffer from trust issues or just want to make sure that the relationship is actually going somewhere,first.But then,do we ditch our friends /true friends because a new potentual partner says to?Where is the trust?If it is good enough for someone to be my friend on here,then why not a potentual partner also?Its up to you an your honesty level,inclusive of your new partner an their honesty level///whether they genuinely repect ,trust you enough in the first place.You can hide your profile for a while ,as the relationship develops///then again if the person is from here then chances are they are on your favourites list anyway,so can tell when you been online,time etc...If you are close enough,they would see your profile on your computer anyway/// you with someone,what have you got to hide anyway??????????????????? | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 2:08:16 AM | Met someone who spent an enormous amount of time on here with the accepting applications sign on. I called him on it and he was immediately offended. He said I was trying to catch him in something and he did not remember signing onto POF  He didn't talk to me for almost a week and then he broke it off. Good riddens and no one misses a headache. As I told him, be honest which he never owned up to being on here. That's relationship 101 especially at 40.
On the flip side, I was contacted by a guy with a girlfriend. When I asked him why is he on here...he said he was having issues in his relationship. Then he asked for my personal contact info. I told him no.
I imagine if you are being honest there should not be a problem with being on POF and a large percentage of commited folks are on here because they are leaving they are keeping their options open. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 2:22:05 AM | | ^^^^ All I can say regarding the sit-chew-ass-on of your ex with lie and lay benefits... is that it is too damn bad that the way Pinocchio protruded when he lied wasn't what happened to real boys after the fairy waved her magic wand except instead of the sniffer, it was the snuffer-up-ah-gus when he laid.. then at least you wood have something near and dear to a phart to fall Ape-art over. As for the headache ... now that kindah headache is worth you-sing.. fo'sure. | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:01:50 AM | yeh saves you getting a magazine.
I also find that on the forums there is always someone who had been throu something you have and just need advice. Iv learnt loads from the forums.
And who needs jeremy kyle when you have pof lmao | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:52:01 AM | I was gonna just delete mine but leaving it up with the recent details updated is kind of a public declaration that you're with someone, you know?
Plus, it might give somebody else encouragement that it really is possible to meet somebody on here ;) | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:30:58 AM |
"...i miss the political, current events and spirituality forums. however, they are now safe elsewhere in cyberspace ..."
They are still here, they just don't show up on the main Forums page anymore. The reason is that people were getting too crazy on them and there wasn't enough moderator time to deal with all of the infractions. If you go to these threads you can still post, but be good.
Politics:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum98.aspx
Current Events:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum7.aspx
Religion:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum12.aspx
Discussion of why the change:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/10900313datingPostpage5.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10924161.aspx
If you do a search on the word Religion, you can find some good threads in here on the Science/Philosophy Forum, Off Topic, and some others. Same with the word "Politics."
There is another site that a lot of the posters went to, and if you post on the old Forum topics perhaps they will contact you. | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:14:01 AM | | I'm absolutely here because of the wonderful friends I've met and the new ones I hear from off and on. I have not been on the forums in awhile but I used to really enjoy them too. Even though POF is supposed to be a singles site I think alot of us have found like minded friendships on here. This is just a great site to interact with other people from all over. It doesnt' have to be to "hook up"... I wouldn't ever get off here I don't think unless the BIG FISH made me. | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:55:58 AM | Most of this ilk do it because their date wont and never will live up to their expectations - too simply they require the best attention available to fulfil their whimsical needs.
Hell, I dont even mind the attached and looking for 40 bits on the side lot. Least potentially i would know to ignore these ones.
If someone has on their profile attached etc and here for eg forums or a valid reason stated on their profile...i think thats oki in my books. | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 11:25:51 AM | Kinda funny, kinda sad! When I met someone on another site and we entered a relationship we both dropped two sites! But I didn't do anything with POF, basically I hadn't had an email from POF in all that time! Wasn't even coming online.
Later after it ended she joined here, and asked me if I was on here all the time we were together, I told the truth. The hypocracy is this, I was checking out another site, and quess what? Yep, she was on there, and her age said 64, well, she just turned 66, so I asked her the same question...her response was that site didn't update age.Hmmmmm.
I do believe I told her at one time I was on POF, on the other hand.....she never told me she was on the other site. BUT, I don't believe she was looking to upgrade, and I know I wasn't.
And now I'm addicted to the forums. Where else can you get self help and an idea of how to understand others and improve yourself? | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:06:39 PM | In response to the people that bring up the word "trust".
Does someone really enter into a new dating scenario with a trust issue? Maybe a small percentage of mentally ill individuals. But your average person cannot genuinely trust another average person for a really long time. Trust has to be built and we have to do things to prove we are trustworthy. Example - get off a dating site or hide our profiles. (For some reason my profile doesn't hide in the forum area). | |
|
| |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:35:58 PM | | I eliminate my profile as soon as I see someone a few times and want to give it a fair chance. It doesn't mean I'm committing myself to that person, but I'm eliminating the outside distractions. | |
|
68SS53
|
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 70 | |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:44:12 PM | | Ive wondered about that, I dated a couple guys on here and it was getting pretty serious(or Im just an idiot) not only were they still on here they were talking every evening and their favorites list continued to grow. Me the forums have been like a free therapist for me. I never hid the fact I was here for the forums, but I did hide my profile because I hoped I had found someone special. Oh well, ------- | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:00:56 PM | | ^^^^ been there and done that. I could not figure out who was the bigger social retard when I did figure it out ... this retard moved on. It has the potential to be quite hurtful so, don't let it go that far. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:02:00 PM | Hmmmm If I met someone, and I/we wanted to see if we can make it work, I would/will hide my profile just so as not to give any ideas, is hard to build a trusting relationship with another person and it could become a deal breaker for one or the other, perceptions are hard to dismiss sometimes. Trust, trust, takes time to build that and actions speak louder than words sometimes, or how would you react if you are seen someone, they hide the profile and after three/four dates, they unhide it again. So is all a game sometimes and how we play that game allows us to build something or not, maybe, they were l0oking for another fish or maybe not.
Yes, we always want to be the only one in our partner and sometimes just doesn't work that way. Back to fishing..
 | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/21/2009 3:05:27 PM | This is something I cannot understand. Just because you meet someone, you are supposed to leave POF? I can understand if you both agree to be exclusive and have made your commitments to each other; you can both agree to delete your profiles . But you just met! Nevermind if the attraction is great. Committing to each other is a bit early. I really don't believe in love at first sight.
When someone tells me long before I have met him in person that he has removed his profile, I always wonder. And then he tells me his plans for the future. Isn't that a bit premature? Did he find someone and just getting ready to pop the question? Hopefully it does not involve me. And if it does, then, I would not have any interest in even meeting him.
The same way as when someone asks me to get out of POF because we agree to meet. It bothers me a lot and thus eventually, I never meet the person or if ever we meet, some red flag stares me in the face. It becomes tough to stay focused in knowing each other when you wonder if he has control issues, jealous streak or just simply jumping the gun. You are just having the first meeting afterall. I think it depends a lot on why you are here. Is it to date; have an LTR; get married by hook or by crook? Looking for friends not FWB...Anytime there is a rush factor, I stay away. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/21/2009 3:54:11 PM | why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
I guess I'm a sucker for punishment.
to top it all off I have some morbid effection for drying tears and wiping snoty noses in the forums. | |
|
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:48:12 AM | | I believe if you both are wanting to continue a relationship you two should be open about it, ask him about it and be open. You might be suprised on what he actually says and things may end but at least you'll know not to waste your time but it could be the opposite too. But with any relationship a good line of communicate is a must and if you have questions the only way they will be answered is by the actually person. | |
|
Home
login 
