| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:13:41 AM | take the reason if someone said he or she is still on POF because of the forums, but if he or she is there because of trying to fish someone else to replace you then it is a matter. If he/she is here just because of forums, he/she could hide the profile then just get involved in forums only. If the reason for adding more friends (dating) , then what are you for? You can recognize the reason for him/her staying here by checking whether he/she added more pictures. For me, this means he/she wants to attract other with his/her pics.  | |
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tlm92
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Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 78 | |
| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:06:55 AM | Initially I came on here to find that special one. So far as the case I understand for many, it hasn't happend. One day I decided to venture further on this site and check out the forums and I have to say, I really like the forums a lot. Another thing is that this is a free site and that's a big attraction right there. If and when I find someone on this site, i'll probably still remain here just for the interaction on the forums. Seeing everyone else's opinions about all the different things that get discussed here has really shown me how all of us can think so differently for so many different reasons. It's fun and i've enjoyed it.
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:14:44 AM | I met my guy on here six months ago and yup, I'm still here. But take a look at my profile and you'll see why.
I enjoy the forums and the possibility of meeting new friends. However the few people who have shown interest in me (via emails) have obviously not read my profile. I set them straight and send them on their way, wishing them luck, if they're not in to finding new friends.
As for trust? We have that. In spades.
He's a fish that won't be thrown back  | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:26:19 AM | | I think you should talk about it. If you have agreed to be exclusive you shouldn't be on here. The last guy I dated did this to me he was the one to ask me to be exclusive but was still on here every night; and it hurt. He wasn't even chatting to me when I was online. It felt like he was looking for someone else. Eventually he did delete his profile but if I'm honest with myself I'm not certain if that was really for me, still I didn't come back on here until last night as he has been ignoring me and it just hasn't worked out I am not happy and hes not going to try, things just went sour if they hadn't I would not be on here at all. I think if you really wnt a relationship you don't need to be here once you've found that person because they make you happy theres no need for anyone else, well not for me anyway | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 8:59:42 AM | Interesting thread here (and my first post)
I met a woman back in August on another site (a eff eff), things got serious in short order and we agreed to hide our profiles out of mutual respect, and we did.
Then around Halloween I went on the site to check an email from the administrator and noticed she re-activated her profile, not only that but there was a new guy added to her network, then two more guys a week or so later...I'm like WTF?
The seeds of doubt had been planted, I had serious trust issues anyways from a previous relationship with a pathological liar, and was just beginning to overcome that
when this happened.
I knew deep down the relationship was doomed and by the beginning of December it was over. :( | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:23:20 AM |
by the way - we are not still dating. kind of ruined it for me to know that he was still on POF. Reason I was still on was basically to see if he was. really stupid i know and very self-defeating.
For all you know, he was doing the same thing. If this is a problem for you, I would try a different venue for finding men although people don't have to be online to cheat. You either trust someone or you don't. They will either look for greener grass or they won't. Only way to avoid risk is to become a hermit. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:34:12 AM | In 2007 I was seeing someone . I still came here the forums and I still checked on the meet and greets in my are for my single GFsn work.
Now i am back on here looking for friends in the area ,. checking out and attending meet and greet and in general being a contributor to some of these amusing forums .
I am here to stay no matter what . You can't get rid of me  | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:24:33 PM | I know there are alot of folks who have met here...became a committed duo...then, changed their profiles to include the both of them...just because they like the forums.
Sometimes things evolve past their original intent. This site is a good example.
I have met someone. I say it in my profile. We have not had the "conversation"...you know the one. I don't know if we ever will. He said we'd definetly be ending our accounts...this said with out consulting with me first...just a decision he made for the both of us.....hmmmmmm.
I truely do love the forums. Sometimes, I get a letter...I write back and say..."busy, thanks for stopping in, seeya". Sometimes I get put of a fav list. Sometimes he does as well.
I'm not the jealous type. If he's still out there shopping...good luck to him.
In the meantime, we date, we talk on the phone, we do walk on the beach (for real). If we decide we are simpatico...then, we'll decide what to do about our acounts...together. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:28:32 PM | I have a lot of really great people I have made friends with here. He has met my friends here and I include him in our social events.
My guy, gets it. He trusts me, it's a non-issue. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:34:17 PM | | I feel like I still have some relationship wisdom to bestow, hahaha. And I enjoy the "relationships" section of the forums more now that I'm in one. When I was looking, I enjoyed the dating sections, and the broken hearts ones. If my guy asked me to delete my profile, I would in a flash though. We just trust each other, and he is not the insecure type. I have my insecure moments in general, but with the right guy, I am fine. I tend to trust my intuition though. If a guy I was dating was still on here, and we had a discussion about it, and he refused to delete or hide the profile, I would find that odd. I would not, however, just jump to any conclusions because a guy was still checking on here, because both of you could just be on checking to see what the other is doing, and ruining for the both of you. That would be tragic. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:22:30 PM | we are both on here because we both have friends we have met.... if you have issues it is called insecurity and dating site or not would have to be addressed through good communication.... | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:49:47 PM | | Bentwood...good point about wanting to give someone you meet a fair chance. Very "honorable" thought too. There should more like minded men. Perhaps a better word for "outside distractions" would be....temptation? As for what I have read from others about "trust" or lack of trust....phew! Opinions abound and I find them all very interesting. For those of you who write so easily and naively about trust...look up the definition of the word. It is an issue at some point for everyone and it is something that is earned over time and not a given. Just my virtual 2 cents worth :) | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:56:42 PM | My profile is only visible in the forums. I love forum play. It’s fun to engage in hit and run iconoclasm, launch bombastic strafing runs, and enjoy the thrust and parry of double entendre and innuendo.
And I’ve met some lovely friends. I come here to play with them.
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:23:38 AM | | We are secretly being paid by marcus to make this the biggest dating site in the world. If everyone left after finding someone it wouldn't be the biggest site now would it? | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:35:04 AM | It’s fun to engage in hit and run iconoclasm, launch bombastic strafing runs, and enjoy the thrust and parry of double entendre and innuendo.
You win. That's the best post I've read all night. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:11:55 AM | I don't suppose you ever expanded that thinking into them not knowing for sure you were/they were a keeper or not, and therefore, JUST LIKE YOU, they kept their options open?
Drama in motion, BS at its' finest. Humans are Humans, please be surprised by something new, not something as old as the human race. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:10:27 AM | I believe that dating sites are like a candy store. There are so many flavors to choose from which makes it hard to pick just one. Then when you "think" you have found the right flavor, you want to keep your options open just incase a new and better flavor comes.
I have met several men on here and they have all been great. When we start seeing each other every weekend, my profile is deleted. I mean why keep looking? I don't need a profile to check to see if he is on here as I don't care if he is. In time the true colors will come out in everyone, so why look for them? Just keep your instincts intact. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:55:00 AM | | For those who say they are here for friends. What ever happened having friends in real life??!! In my opinion too many people on this site sugar coat things. If someone here strictly for the forums, i can understand that, it can be fun way to pass time but to be here for virtual friends, i just dont know about that one. How can someone expect to have good bf/gf in real life if they have to rely on virtual friends in stead of real world friends. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:25:27 AM | | It happend to me so I can answer this. Its the same reason people keep ex's around or ex friends with benefits. They date you while they wait for something better plain and simple. If you mean alot to them they should have no problem deleting their accounts. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:30:01 AM | submissanj...you sound EXTREMELY possessive (and obsessive) LOL...
I dunno why people keep their posts up...maybe "just in case"...to keep our options open...? Personally, I think one woman is just as good as another at this point, no woman is better or worse, just different...the old adage "the grass is greener", it may not be greener, just DIFFERENT... | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:29:51 AM | When I was dating, I'd keep my profile active until I met someone and we agreed to be exclusive - prior to that, we're both free agents, trying to determine if anyone we're seeing has long-term potential worth exploring.
As for looking for friends once in a relationship, I see no problem if that's what it truly is about. Some may be "virtual" friends, but many of those become "real-life" friends eventually - at least that's been my experience. If you're new in an area, for example, you may not have many real-life local friends at first.
Sure, there are people who will cheat or seek someone "better", but if that's their intention they will find a way even if they remove themselves from dating sites. If that's what they want, do you really want them anyway? Profile or no profile, there's no guarantee you'll keep them - there's only your own paranoia and perhaps desperation! | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:37:13 AM | For those who say they are here for friends. What ever happened having friends in real life??!!
I have a lot of real life friends (many from childhood), but have found that the internet creates opportunity to meet people who you would never ordinarily cross paths with. I also have been posting on a cooking site for several years and there is a group of us from all around the US and a couple of Canadians who meet once a year in a different city. If it weren't for the site where we can express our passion for cooking, we would have never met.
To answer the OP's question, I've made a lot of friends of both genders on this site and enjoy the forums...if I meet someone, great, if not, I do not feel any deprivation. If I should ever meet someone, I would be "not single/not looking" and would hope that he would be secure with himself and understand that I have fun on here. As for this site, I find some of the non-single posters to be quite wise and make valuable contributions to the forums. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:38:46 AM | I always thought that myself. The whole point you come on here is to find someone. I don't classify this as a look for friends site, it's a site about finding that person you want to be with. Once you find that person you shouldn't need to be on here anymore. At least with me that is.
I think staying on here for friends is a excuse to find a "rebound" someone you can run to in case the other relationship doesn't work. Which really is negative thinking. For those that say they're on here looking for friends, you're going to have more friends cause that guy you met, will introduce you to his
So just keep the friends you did meet from here, be happy with the guy/girl you found and get the hell out. I'd be really upset if the person I met here and was dating kept her profile on here | |
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