| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:56:19 AM | why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Because - they are not convinced of their decision and they are hedging their bets... all the while making every silly excuse in the world to justify their continuing to 'shop'...
FTWfella | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:21:07 AM |
Do people ever completely leave this web site? Or are we so addicted to see "what else is out there" that we can't leave? -- Some people are thrill seekers -- Sky-Diving for instance -- eventually, you will hit the ground and the experience will be over. Others prefer the thrill of a Roller-Coaster -- still others prefer riding a motorcycle (that they own) so they can enjoy the thrill at their own pace.
In short -- the 2 of you are till on POF because you're not 100% certain that this relationship will be successful (and you most likely have others that you're currently in contact with, just in case) -- that's my $1.95 analysis for you! | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 11:37:43 AM | We started dating - not exclusively or anything like that but kind of regularly. It started to feel like we were both headed into exclusivity territory after a while, though. Funny thing is, I noticed that we were both still on POF.
exclusivity territory? like starting bumping uglies? That goes along the lines of dating...taking the whole test driving experience. Hey, no vows were taken, so the highway is still open.
I've been mailed in here by women telling me that they're in a relationship, but if it doesn't turn out, they would be interested in me. They just had to let me know hmmm.
It's usually from women with no pics in their profile (no surprize here) | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:21:24 PM | my current guy knows whom I met here and I'm only here for the forums only. :) And I kept my profile hidden too so that no one else would search for it.
i honestly do like the pof forums - its interesting and fun. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:39:05 PM | What I don't get is ..why...would you bother staying on a dating site for the 'forums'...you've met someone you want to persue a relationship with....should that not rank higher for you than your need to still be on a 'dating site' for the forums??? Where do your priorities sit?? Surely to goodness you can think of something better to do with your time than that.
Quite frankly I think it's just an excuse to stay on POF. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:53:49 PM | | ^^ So are you supposed to stop doing everything you like to do when you meet a guy? should i also dump my friends too? A relationship is not that much of a priority.....i hope many people have lives outside of their relationship and they can do whatever they want in their free time which includes visitng any forum they want to :) | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:59:17 PM | What I don't get is ..why...would you bother staying on a dating site for the 'forums'...you've met someone you want to persue a relationship with....should that not rank higher for you than your need to still be on a 'dating site' for the forums??? Where do your priorities sit?? Surely to goodness you can think of something better to do with your time than that.
Quite frankly I think it's just an excuse to stay on POF.
Quite frankly, you're dead wrong. But, you're entitled to YOUR opinion and I wouldn't take that away from anyone.
The sad thing is, there's more people like you on the planet than there are of people like me...people like me who understand that the world doesn't stop spinnin' once we get into a relationship. People like me that appreciate that we BOTH had lives before we met each other, and none of that should be discarded just because we're an item now.
People like me that don't like suffocation from people like you who now think that because we're "us" that means we're "us" 24x7.
FAIL.  | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:05:47 PM | Unless you're exclusive why wouldn't you keep your options open?
Just because you assume someone feels the chemistry doesn't make it true.
If both agree to only see each other then discuss to be or not to be on the site.
I would also hope that if I were in a relationship I really wouldn't find as much time for the forums........I hope we could find better things to do | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:47:27 AM | LOL, you can do whatever you wish to do when you meet a guy. I'm all for doing your own thing and having a relationship with someone. But when you enter an exclusive relationship, something of importance to the both of you....you need to think of both sides of the fence. Is being on a 'dating site' the right way to go- forums or not?
But then you summed it up rather well : "A relationship is not that much of a priority" | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:06:58 AM | 1. They don't even come here anymore so they forget to hide the profile.
2. They use the forums when they are bored.
3. They are still dating other women from here.
joe | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:31:54 AM | I've been reading my originial post and try as I might I can't seem to see the sentence where I said being in a relationship you HAD to be joined at the hip..24 x 7 or be suffocated???
Assumptions, don't make for a smart man. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 9:23:53 AM | Failed attempts at clever dodges, don't make for a smart woman.
Let's break it down into a quasi math equation shall we? Since you claim you can't see the suffocation...
"Why would you bother staying on a dating site for the 'forums' + you've met someone + should that not rank higher + where do your priorities sit + think of something better to do with your time + I think it's just an excuse = SUFFOCATION"
You don't need to be Mensa to add 2 + 2.
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 9:52:26 AM | at least you admit it was 'clever'..however it wasn't a dodge.
again....you miss the point. Let me explain.......
Physical and emotional space is a basic human need, but when two people assume all their needs are going to be fulfilled through each other the relationship is set up for disappointment, and ultimately failure. That is suffocation.
Having a variety of friends is a route toward developing—personally, socially, and spiritually. Participating in a variety of activities makes you well-rounded, and gives you more to talk about with your partner.
My point...all along was 'why on a dating site'?? It's not an infringement on your 'space' or suffocation. But with so much out there to do with your time away from your gal or guy....why sit on a dating site? If that is what you chose...then knock your socks off.
Believe it or not, we both agree on the same thing. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:30:33 AM | | So what your saying is that my partner and myself have problems because we post on the forums here and have so for about two years or so even though we are a couple? | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 12:00:16 AM | I met someone on here and we hit it off big time.So we went right into dating so of course I took my profile off.I was like so happy and thought he was too.This went on like 7 months.And it had all started out with this sweet little poem he wrote me from here.Well lo and behold one night I just happen upon a poem and it's not to me but to another gal on POF,it said those letters in it and he is going on and on about how the sun shined on her golden hair and mine is dark and how she gave him happy feet.I can just imagine how.I confronted him and he had to admit to it and maybe 2 others he was writing to I'm like say WHAT???He hadn't ever took his profile down and he's still on here doing it to other gals.I know cause after we ended it a friend had him write a lil ditty to her,same moves he used on me and he still uses on others I'd say.Of course I lived in Kentucky and he lived in Ohio ,we lived a couple of hours apart but it stunned me none the less.I thought he was being true blue like me but he wasn't.I learned alot from that.That was my first experience dating via internet but my eyes are opened now  | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 12:09:00 AM | We have expanded our horizons. We've looked at many different forums. Non of them compare to POF's forums. I think it is the shear numbers of people and the variety of people who come here. Many forums are polarized and don't show a wide variety of opinions and thoughts.
Direct me to one that is better and i'll check it out. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 4:39:30 AM | Maybe you and the other person had different views of what was happening between you. If you wanted to be monogamous, then I think you should have had an open talk with the other person about what he wanted at that time. In my view, you can't just assume someone feels the same way about a relationship unless you have a discussion about it. Why guess about how he is feeling about you? Ask directly.
Judith | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:45:12 AM | Ok, I don't have a boyfriend.. but this one guy I met asked how I felt about Nascar.. rolling my eyes there.... wondered if I'd sit by him during the whole watching tv thing like I don't have other things I could be doing like reading which I did offer up reading next to him... but actually that would lead to distraction I believe... not bad but I would hate to think my weekend revolved around sitting on the couch listening to the engines revving....
Where else can I read about life issues about problems people face in the bedroom etc that maybe I'd be interested in reading the poll of forum runners??? and bring it to to the table and get his opinion on???? why is it believed that the "forums only" group is a mask covering up dating opportunites?? Hey if I'm doing that then don't let me leave the house cause if I'm so inclined I'll find that booty call elsewhere anyway.... there is the traditional method afterall....
Where else can I find such a expansive list of subject matter that I might engage in? it just so happens to be in a dating site.... I am always looking for more exciting forums but thus far enjoy this one.. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 10:48:17 AM | I met a fella on a dating site(not this one) 5 months ago. Although it is long distance, we recently decided to make it an exclusive relationship. That was the day I brought him over to my computer and showed him my profile...and the forums that I like to visit. He didn't have any problem with it at all. If he looked uncomfortable with it, I would have deleted it. I deleted the other dating site after only 3 weeks. If he demanded that I remove it.....I would not have. It would have to be totally my choice.
Both of us have friends of both sexes, gay and straight, of diverse religions etc....it's such a pleasure to meet new people. I am getting to know his friends, and he is getting to know mine. I wish there was an option on the profile to click that one is looking for BOTH men and women as friends.
On the odd occasion that an email comes to me here wanting to hook up, I re-direct them back to my profile.
The young 22 year old who said he was hoping that I would be the end to his search..I simply blocked.
The angry middle-aged man who happened to be from my little town(I put the nearest city on my profile for safety) who figured I was full of crap because I told him I wasn't dating....I simply blocked.
I like to read forums, participate where I can, learn new things....try them out on my new fella.
This isn't the only site I'm on....I also connect with new folks on Sparkpeople, which is a health and fitness related site.
These forums on POF give me insites on relationships and sexuality.....my Sparkpeople site helps with my health and fitness....
It works for me. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/21/2009 11:01:13 AM | | Instead of getting all upset and sneaking around to see if the person is still on POF, why not just talk to them about it?? If you are getting serious and you can't discuss that, you are in trouble already. I am here because I like the forums. They are interesting. | |
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| why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:29:48 PM | | When you have met someone special and you want to persue a relationship, then you should not be on a SINGLES DATING SITE....that is a deal breaker for me.....if you want me then you want me...and if you are online than you don't simple as that....you are just an insecure player. | |
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