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 LakeCountyGal
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 51
Do you guys think this is fair?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Wait a minute, he won't let you use a toy? You do realize it's 2009 right? You have the right to use whatever you want or need to help you get off sexually. If he can't understand that, or won't even attempt some foreplay, after 2 and a half years, I'd say it's time to ask yourself, how many more years can you put up with this?
 AzLuckee
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 52
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:07:06 PM
Obviously its not fair - every single post on here has said so and I get the feeling you already knew that before you even posted because you've left him 5 times due to this issue AND have sought counseling for it. Here comes the tough love - grow some balls and put your foot down. Either demand he changes his ways, get a toy (screw what he says regarding that), dump him, or decide that your love overides all that and accept him for the way he is. But do SOMETHING. Only you can change your life.
 searcher1957
Joined: 2/13/2005
Msg: 53
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:19:34 PM
WOW! ! ! That is totally selfish. My attitude is that i am not satisfied until i have given her as many orgasms as she can stand (or wants) and she is a quivering mass of jello on the bed, not able to stand and barely able to speak. i do a hot oil massage now and then and after, i usually have to help her out to the shower as her legs are too weak. That is how a woman should be treated in bed. As for toys...the more the merrier...anything and everything to add to the fun.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 54
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:31:06 PM

Do you guys think its fair that i only get off when he wants to have sex longer?.....

Tell him to get his act together or you'll find someone who can finish the job for him.
 *JustAnotherGirl*
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 55
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:40:08 PM

He wont let me use a toy though so i suffer


To me this is the most selfish part of all. I don't expect my man to be able to have or even want marathon sex every day. And the truth is that sometimes he is going to finish first. But if I'm still raring to go, one of us is going to finish me off. If he is tried, or just wants to watch, then I will have fun with one of my toys. Lots and lots of fun.

So why doesn't he want you to use toys??? And what is with the "he won't let me..." part of that statement? You don't have a choice?
 Tanzkity
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 56
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:45:13 PM
You are putting too much time and energy on this man...................he isnt going to change because really he doesnt have to................you have made it clear that regardless of the bad sex you will still have sex with him...................if you think this is such a major issue then you need to leave but if you think you can live with it (good luck) I dont know how then stay with him but im sure in a matter of time you will be having an affair..................this isnt about him also being selfish he is really sending a message to you that he doesnt care or respect you enough for him to change......................you need to start building yourself esteem and move on or stop having sex until he gets the message................or you need to get a toy f what he says about it hide it and enjoy..................
 Incuubus2113
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 57
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:51:14 PM
I am just floored he won't even let you use a toy to get off when he's not doing the job for you.
 Octobersixty3
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 58
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:54:07 AM
Sorry, but if you've felt the need to break up with this guy 5 TIMES, it should tell you something...He's not the one for you, time to move on... No one, women in particular, should stay with someone that does not do it for them on ANY level of a relationship. Stop settling for less than you want and deserve....
 Incuubus2113
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 59
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:57:25 AM

Sorry, but if you've felt the need to break up with this guy 5 TIMES, it should tell you something...He's not the one for you, time to move on... No one, women in particular, should stay with someone that does not do it for them on ANY level of a relationship. Stop settling for less than you want and deserve....


lol why women in particular?
 dilettante_84
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 60
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:45:50 AM
yeah, why women in particular? What an odd thing to say.
 bella-rosa
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 61
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:51:08 AM
Wow, i'm still getting over the fact that he won't let you use a toy.........most guys I know love the toy in the bedroom.

Other than that he sounds like a selfish prick.
 dilettante_84
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 62
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:58:26 AM

Wow, i'm still getting over the fact that he won't let you use a toy.........most guys I know love the toy in the bedroom.


I can't understand why she won't let her use the toy either, but it did remind me of one epxerience.

I dated a girl who occasionally would start using her vibrator while lying in bed next to me. I'd get turned on and start moving in, and she would sometimes push me away and say she just wanted the toy. Also she would never let us use it together. Also she once we were fooling around and she excused herself because she said she wanted to shower first. When she came out she casually mentioned she had gotten herself off with the shower head instead.

And since I know someone is gonna say it, it's not because I was bad in bed. In fact even after we had broken up she told everyone at work how good I was (yeah it was an "office") romance, and as a result I had to fend of advances from one of my managers for the next six months.

Okay sorry, way off topic, but just to play devil's advocate, perhaps he feels a bit threatanded by the toy. Bit since this girl would clearly rather have him get her off, he's being a total idiot.
 nickolysseus
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 63
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:00:48 AM
Re the Opost

Love is important. Love does not obey logic. But when such differences exist, after 2.5 years, it is IMO time for logic to prevail and for doing the Run Forrest Run!
 bella-rosa
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 64
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:05:54 AM

and as a result I had to fend of advances from one of my managers for the next six months.




No way can you make a comment like that and not give anymore details
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 65
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:16:52 AM
ah..... your 22, most boys your age only think about making them selves happy
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 66
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:32:54 AM

And since I know someone is gonna say it, it's not because I was bad in bed. In fact even after we had broken up she told everyone at work how good I was (yeah it was an "office") romance, and as a result I had to fend of advances from one of my managers for the next six months.

Dude seriously - quit making this thread about YOU. Posting about the 'art' of anal sex and how accomplished you are in the sack is TOTALLY irrelevant to the OP's issue and the only one impressed by it is YOU.

To the OP - it's quite obvious you're willing to stick with this asshat no matter what anyone says. In fact, you just keep making excuses as to why you're willing to continue with this sexual troglodyte all because "you love him."

Sometimes love just ain't enough - especially when someone treats you with ZERO respect and ZERO consideration. You've stuck around for 5 years even though you broke up a few times, so that basically tells this jerk that you're willing to take whatever pitiful treatment he doles out.

If he hasn't changed into a human in the 5 years you've been with him, what makes you think he's going to have a sudden epiphany and realize that he's a selfish assclown? Ain't gonna happen.

I wouldn't give this loser 5 minutes, much less 5 years.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 67
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:04:24 AM
he cant last more than 15 min in bed and he gets off once and he is done... its very frustrating....
Do you guys think its fair that i only get off when he wants to have sex longer?.....

Hmmm So, I was bored, and I started reading some of your last posts....
A few I noticed...

He is 27 and i am 22. He has only been with 2 other women in his life besides me. This the longest most serious relationship i have been in.


I have slept with 45 guys in 2 years not proud of it BUT my man never had or has a problem with how many guys i slept with!


He just would rather have a quickie and get off and forget about me. He also prefers doggystyle or spooning bcause it feels better to him and it hurts me but i do it because it gives him pleasure.


I persnonally have had way to many fwb and **** buddies. I hate them the guy either wants more or i want more no matter what i have done.


He wont go down on me because he says i smell i wash 2 times a day and shave.


OH and another NEVER NEVER get a name tattooed on you of your SO. Even if your married bad karma!

The problem with your guy is possibly how he views you...
You say your 'man' never had or has a problem with your past...?????
If I had to add up:
1... He only worries about his own orgasm...
2... He doesn't care if you get off or not....
3... He won't go down on you...
4... He says you smell...
5... He prefers to have sex without facing you...
6... He prefers sex in a position that "hurts you"...

I'd say, he DOES have a problem with your past...
It sounds like he has no respect for you... and based on the other things you've posted, it could be he has issues as to your past... He may be thinking about all the other people you've had sex with so he can't have intimate sex with you. The two parts, your smell and the fact that he won't go down on you... kind of point to him thinking you're 'dirty'....
He has only had 2 sex partners before you... compared to you that's nothing..., he's bound to be very intimidated by your past....

I don't think there's going to be a lot you can do to solve this problem....
 jakeya99
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 68
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:21:52 AM
Oh God...

Did the OP say "tore a hole in my a$$"???

Does anybody know what rhymes with "white trash", I'm trying to pen a limerick.

I'll bet my house you DO smell down there. Disgusting.
 ladyred1971
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 69
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:47:31 AM
It must be love that's keeping you there, because that's not fair at all. My suggestion to you is to get a toy, forget what he say and get yourself off. If you want continue your relationship with this guy. Been there, done that had many of need- some headaches. You have to release that stress somehow, get a toy.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 70
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:57:18 AM
No it's not fair. Look, let's "sweep away" some myths first though. Guy's aren't supposed to go for "hours and hours". Maybe some can, maybe some can't - it's not important. What's important is that you're BOTH pleased.

When I was young I could perform much longer. I could come many many times. The quality of sex was sub-standard, and I was mostly selfish. When I did try to prove myself, I rarely could. I used to feel like I was doing something wrong many, many times. Not to seem insulting, but I really feel this had more to do with the physical attributes of the women I chose back then. I went for heavier and larger women back then. I never really had much success with making them come. I just thought I was stupid.

Nowadays it's not quantity, but quality that matters. I want to satisfy. I also want to be with women who have the physical attributes which I know I CAN satisfy sexually. Sometimes I don't even come at all, which never once has anything to do with "her" EVER. She has to be pleased. I'm no longer a "taker". I've become a "giver" in the bedroom. I want to be with women whom I know I can please successfully.

Look; If he's "done" in 15 minutes, that's fine, but he should keep doing something to help you get off too. I can totally understand his not wanting you to use a toy also. For some of us, it's like watching you screwing someone else. That should be my junk in there! There are other solutions to try first.

First; there are many positions that are far better than missionary. I've noticed that many women get off very well when they're "on top", grinding into and bouncing on me. See, it's not really insertion/penetration that does it, it's this bone just ABOVE the penis, below the abdomen, that keeps slamming against the clitoris. That's why I could never make the heavier women come, because there was just too much stomach in the way. Not just her's, mine too!! I was a heavier dude back then.

I've noticed that when I finally decided to get fit and healthy, got thinner, and built more lean body mass, that sexual performance became a whole new and amazing experience. Ability and frequency of orgasm may be affected by a woman's fitness level. I know it was my mine. I've noticed that the skinnier women I've been with more recently tend to get off alot easier and more often than the heavier women I used to be with when I was a kid.

I also never hit the G-spot or seen any woman "squirt" until I was with a more fit, athletic, slender woman. That can only be achieved from deep penetration.

Fitness level just really does make a huge difference. Take it from me, a former fatty.

Mike
 tallboy73
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 71
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:13:36 AM
You know the answer, or you wouldn't have posted the thread.

Yes, he's selfish. Yes, he's a manipulator. And, yes, he's being an a$$. And, no, he won't change. You knew this already.

Start thinking independently, make your own decisions, buy a top-of-the line vibrator, and be proud that you're taking care of your needs as you want to. Giving someone pleasure is awesome but not if you don't receive it in return... ...and not if your partner has bad genital hygiene.
-z
 cubanguy
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 72
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Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:17:20 AM
" 80% of the time..."

Unfortunally, is about the right score for women.
Fortunally, some of them enjoy being the exception to the rule.
Unluckily, you can improve about your expectations.
Luckily, you can decide for changes to change the status quo.
 Aligirl21
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 73
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:26:53 AM
You want to know how they(yea there is 2 guys guy who raped me) tore an hole is my ass.,,By raping me and using no lubrication i passed out from the pain.......I has surgery so there isnt a hole there anymore.......oh and i hope no one feels sorry for me because it my problem and im dealing with it (not the bad sex)
I have a toy he will throw them away if he knows where my toys are.......i say missionary is the only way i get off with HIM his****is slightly curved downwards so missionary is the only way i can get off....all other position feels like he is hitting my ***hole uncomfortable and painful......and me on top hurts im shallow he is longer....but it seems like everyone is attacking me so whatever im done got what i needed!
 J_in_SD*
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 74
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:33:43 AM

we have been going to couples therapy for 6 months and our sex life isnt getting any better

Why go to therapy? Just ask the experts here.
 monkeymt
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 75
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:38:27 AM
This is a pretty deep issue. I think the most important question to ask, and the one you need to ask him. Does he LOVE you? At the end of the day, it isn't going to matter how much you love him, if he can't give that love back. Also suggest to him that he listen to an audio book, or even read a book about sex, and sexuality. I would suggest a book by Tracey Cox called Hot Sex. Listen to the whole thing, it will give him a much different perspective on sex, and how females function and feel. Hope that can help you out, I know after I listened to this book I had a whole different perspective on sex, and love making.
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