Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do you guys think this is fair?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 VinceDaPrince
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 76
Do you guys think this is fair?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I think its fair , why complain , hes master of the house isn't he? After all Ladies it is " Mankind " Im just teasing , its Friday ,,,, life is never fair !


JMO
 Layken
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 77
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 8:43:48 AM
"Mankind"........ oh we just like to let you guys believe that mean while doing exactly what we want?!?!? Seriously - bi-polar, therapy, 5 break ups.......she needs to focus on more than her sex life.....fix herself first & the rest will fall in to place...
 junkyard dawg
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:48:40 AM
He has nails he has to have for work so fingering isnt an option because it hurts. (scratches in the vagina can get bacteria in them and it can cause problems).Communication (in the bedroom) isnt a problem i tell him what feels good and he knows what hurts because i tell him. He just would rather have a quickie and get off and forget about me. He also prefers doggystyle or spooning bcause it feels better to him and it hurts me but i do it because it gives him pleasure. Quote
===============================

You have a lot of personal problems, besides this, your last post was disturbing.Why is it all about his pleasure and not yours. Why are you burying and ignoring, your own needs.He is just following your lead.You come across as very naive btw.

You patently don't value yourself and give too much.Burying your face in his smelly hairy crotch is way too much. Insist he showers.Dont let him insult you, by calling you smelly.Who does he think he is. He is just feeling inadequate about not being able to please you and covering it up, by insulting you.

Whats with the long nails, what job requires nails that long, a vampire.He is scratching you, because he is inexperienced and too rough.Dont engage in positions that cause you discomfort.Would he?not on in this lifetime.You have had enough pain, sounds like, dont volunteer for more.
Seems like, from your last post, you don't like the replies.They are just telling you the truth babe. Stop being a masochist aka martyr and get yourself real man, not a callow boy.
 luvs2laugh78
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 79
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:04:39 AM
OP, Ali

I will admit that it is NOT fair, however you accept it. You have come to this forum asking if the fact that your partner does not please you sexually, as you do him, and whether or not it is fair. However, you obviously have resigned yourself to this, and that this behavior (or lack thereof) will continue. You have rationalized and come up with some excuse for alot of what the posters have suggested, why ask in the first place then?

The point is your partner, regardless of what you have been through, and the counselling and what not, is both controlling and inconsiderate.
You are a young woman? Are you willing to be this subservient to him? He has given you the reasons as to why he wont please you, are you willing to abide by this? If you stay with him then, obviously you do. He won't "let" you use a toy? Um excuse me, but its your body to do as you please with, and hello? Its not like he is doing anything for you in that dept.

If you continue to rationalize and excuse the fact that he is a selfish man, well then as my mother would have said, "you made your bed, now eat it"! ( I am aware that is not the saying, my mom used to eff it up all the time) Either leave and make yourself happy, or stay there and be miserable, its up to you ultimately!
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 80
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:11:55 AM
"He wont let me use a toy though so i suffer" OMG!
What a creep! He won't LET you? I can't believe this. It's the most
selfish thing ever heard.
 Scurvy Little Spider
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 81
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:23:45 AM
Depends.

If we assume you are hell-bent on staying and working it out (with someone who won't work with you), because this is an otherwise wonderful man, worthy of devotion, secure in himself and kind to you-- who consistently demonstrates that he returns your love in many other ways -- unselfish, thoughtful, dependable, affectionate, complimentary, supportive, etc.

Then -- might be a fair trade.
Only you can decide if it's worth it.

I'm concerned by your words "let me". Women are still chattel in other countries but I thought most of us were mostly past that, hereabouts.
 UrsulaMajor
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 82
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:27:13 AM
What kind of work does he do that he "has" to have long fingernails?!?!

Anyway, no, OF COURSE, it's not fair! Ditch this selfish loser. You have enough on your plate as it is without someone you believe you love making you miserable.
 Witchypoo
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:40:29 AM
You're very young and very cute:)) Your boyfriend has his cake and is eating it too. What a shame. He refuses you satisfaction?? This boy needs to learn mutual satisfaction and the only way that's going to happen is being dumped a few times by women who wish to be satisfied. It certainly sounds like the only orgasm he is concerned with is his own. It also sounds like he has some major control issues:((

Love comes and goes trust me.... he won't be the last one on your list unless you make it so. Imagine marrying this guy and after 5 years or so..... you're still having to wait until he goes to work to relieve yourself. Worst case scenerio........ finding another lover who CAN and is willing to do the job. Imagine being married to him and living with this for another 20 years.

Life is too short, I know you love him and want to stay dedicated to him, but I am telling you now, he will not change unless he hits a few roadblocks of his own. You are definitely worth some satisfaction.

There are men out there who will want to make sure you orgasm at least twice during a session and will have the patience to wait it out. It makes them feel on top of the world when they can get you off, it also satisfies them to know that they were able to make that happen for you. Tell that selfish little boy to run along home now.

:))
Witchy
 dilettante_84
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:12:13 AM

and as a result I had to fend of advances from one of my managers for the next six months.






No way can you make a comment like that and not give anymore details

Well for starters she used to wait until we were alone at work and then flash me, frequently ask if she could "see it", and once or twice she came up and "grabbed me" from behind.

Sexual harrassment at it's most blatent, but I kind of enjoyed it to be honest, even though I wan't even slightly interested.
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 85
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:18:14 AM
Aligirl,

I think you know the answer to your own question. I think what you are looking for is a solution.. So here's something you can try:

Before you have sex, go and pleasure yourself on the sly... So, that, when you guys come together for HIS pleasure... you will not be such a willing and wanting vessel....

After awhile, you'll kick this guy to the curb... Orgasms have the ability to clear up womens' vision. We tend to be overly foggy and cloudy when we're horny... we mistake physical desire for emotional crap.... just separate the two.

The dude has been using your body if he is not putting all of his energies into pleasing you.

Also, if he hasn't tried his best to go longer than 15 mins with you... by using a 'ring'...or doubling up on the condom...or whatever... the man is insensitive and ..well..u can finish the rest of the sentence.

Good luck.

 dilettante_84
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:19:08 AM

Dude seriously - quit making this thread about YOU. Posting about the 'art' of anal sex and how accomplished you are in the sack is TOTALLY irrelevant to the OP's issue and the only one impressed by it is YOU.


Oh get over it. This thread is nothing but a long list of the same response from different people using slightly different words. I injected something different into it, and I sure as **** didn't do it to impress you or anyone else. So grow up.

As to the OP I just realized you admitted to sleeping with 45 different guys in two years. So that works out to a new guy almost every two weeks. I mean there is no grey area here, that's full fledged whore behavior.

Now I have to wonder if it is really so much his problem, I mean after all he's only been with two women, or if it's yours, maybe you are a sex addict or something.

In either case your releationship is doomed, so just give up.
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 87
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:23:40 AM
Your man is behaving the way he is-because u didnt put ur foot down a long time ago. It may seem like everyone's attacking u-cuz ur making excuses for him in y he wont or cant please u the way a man should with a woman. THERE IS SOMETHING U CAN DO, THAT CAN HELP U ORGASM QUICKER. First things first-sex is mental-so stop thinking about him not gettin u off. TAKE CHARGE, and stop having sex with him for maybe a week. Just give him oral till he passes out-everytime he wants to have sex. In the week that you dont have sex with him, PRACTICE DOING KEGALS. Kegals not only help strengthen ur orgasms-but most women can have em at will once they master em. You not having sex for a week-or two weeks will have u dripping.The second he puts it in-you should be ready to cum.

OR u can do what most people do-find someone to get the job done.Your give ur man to much leverage-you spoiled him. Stop lettin him enter u without performin foreplay.Foreplay consists of kissing heavy pettin-role playing oral-huggin for long periods-gently stroking eachother. Go on strike withhold sex.-If he complains about ur natural stench-douche-use chocolate syrup-make urself into an icecream sundae.I feel u2 should take a break if none of this works.Find ur self a man that can appreciate u-n sex u the way u need to be done.
 nan465
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 88
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:54:23 AM
Aligirl, if this guy is that selfish it doesn't surprise me that counseling isn't working. You've given him time, you've given him options... And he still refuses to be concerned about your orgasm(s). Might wanna think about making him an ex. Selfish lovers tend to stay that way because they just don't give a damn about your needs. And there wouldn't be any oral for him if he can't trim! That's just ......... rude!
 mischief3178
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 89
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 11:59:28 AM
man that sucks...you should make him go down on you till you get off then tell him your done maybe then he'd get the point. and this is coming from a guy lol...
 AzLuckee
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:07:20 PM
"but it seems like everyone is attacking me so whatever im done got what i needed!"

It may seem like people are attacking you - but what they're really trying to do is make you realize that this is not normal, its not how it should be, and they are trying to get you to stand up for yourself. You have admitted yourself that its not a healthy relationship and yet you stay in it making every excuse for him, and giving yourself no credit. If you dont respect you and stand up for yourself - no one else is going to either. If you were looking for someone to hold your hand and make you feel better about staying with him - thats called an "enabler." The people who really care will tell it like it is - because they want better for you.
 Hookme2009
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 91
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:38:58 PM
You must give and much as you receive.............so no, he is not being fair.
 TallAndDark68123
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:38:32 PM
First off your man is a selfish BOY and has many lessions in life yet to learn. I suggest you tell him that he must satisfy you BEFORE he can even take off his pants. This is not up for negatation or even discussion. If your going without, he needs to go without too. Your being taken advantage of and the way he treats you should never be stood for so grow a backbone and stand up for yourself. Your other option is to dump his sorry @ss and then find his replacement.
 Aligirl21
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 93
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:22:12 PM
Ok when i said i was being attacked i mean ppl look at my other posts and call me a slut or a whore......to those people i slept with 45 guys in 2 years (before i met this guy )and i have only slept with this guy for 2 and half years how does that make me a slut? Oh and didnt i say im in counseling for having all sorts of issues ?
When i have broken up with him its for 2-3 months and i found no one near as good as him in ALL aspects so you really think i should find someone else im not compatible with?
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:29:36 PM

When i have broken up with him its for 2-3 months and i found no one near as good as him in ALL aspects so you really think i should find someone else im not compatible with?

Look, 2-3 months should be the minimum time between serious relationships, some people recommend at least 6 months....
There's nothing wrong with being sinlge until you find the RIGHT person...
Remember, while you're with a loser, you're denying yourself the opportunity to meet someone good...
 Aligirl21
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 95
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:32:57 PM
when i met my current boyfriend i had only been single for 2 weeks.
 butterflie_1207
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 96
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:19:06 PM
Regardless of how many other lovers either of you have had, or how much you've been through together, when you're in a "loving" relationship, sex is more than just sex...

It seems as though he doesn't "love" you enough to be concerned about your sexual satisfaction, in fact, it sounds like he totally disregards it. Doesn't sound like love to me, and it goes way beyond fair or unfair. I would hate to think, forget know, my lover was not being satisfied once, let alone ever.

As a lot of other people have said, you have to make a decision, if he won't give you what you need, either end it, or accept it.

 poker_fan_in_nyc
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 97
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:40:16 PM

When i have broken up with him its for 2-3 months and i found no one near as good as him in ALL aspects so you really think i should find someone else im not compatible with?


THIS WAS MY THINKING TOO...AND I ENDED UP MARRYING HIM BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE SAME THING...AND I HAD ALL THE RED FLAGS IN MY FACE THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED HIM...YOU ARE ONLY 22...TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER...(AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T...WHICH I DON'T BELIEVE IT)...IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE THAT WITH SOMEONE LIKE HIM...WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND THAT YOU REALLY THINK YOU ARE 100% COMPATIBLE WITH HIM...FOR IT TO BE 100% THE SEX SHOULD BE GOOD!!! YOU SAID YOU HAVEN'T FOUND ANYONE NEARLY AS GOOD AS HIM IN ALL ASPECTS...WHAT A BUNCH OF BS...PLUS YOU ONLY GAVE IT A WINDOW OF 2-3 MONTHS...AGAIN YOU ARE ONLY 22...YOU STILL HAVE TIME...DON'T RUIN YOUR LIFE SO EARLY
 misssexyprincess
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 98
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:46:07 PM
Lifes not fair ! He wont "let you" use a toy, ? who is he your father .....

If i were you , i would stop having sex with him untill he starts pleasuring you first , and get yourself a vibrator and hide it !!!!
 elizabethnotliz
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 99
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:30:57 PM
Ali,
You are still young barely an adult and you've had a lot of sexual experiences. (some not your choice either). You don't spend too much time between relationships by your own admisssion.

I was SOO relieved to know that you don't live together. Why don't you break up for the 6th time and Stay single for ahwile, keep your toy, and find yourself and some confidence and real self love and then perhaps embark on a healthy relationship. It is not that uncommon for folks to be single for a few years let alone a few weeks or a month or two.

I bet the thought horrifies you, and to me that is the exact reason why you should perhaps step back from all this disatisfaction and serious relationship and what seems to have some co-dependency issues going on. Such a serious relationship at such a young age. You'll know what I mean by 'young' when you are 30.

I also find it difficult to comprehend that you and he are BOTH in couple's therapy and this issue has not been discussed? Couple's therapy for people who don't even live together is an amazing committment. So that says something about him right? (i am assuming it is for the personal experiences you've been through and your disorder). If it is true then since you are paying the therapist...what have they said about it? Share as I am sure someone reading your post would benefit from the professional's advice too.
 junkyard dawg
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 100
view profile
History
Do you guys think this is fair?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:57:58 PM
when i met my current boyfriend i had only been single for 2 weeks. quote

============================================
Do you fear being alone.You need more, than two weeks to heal from relationships.But you need more complex healing, maybe the counseling would be better spent on yourself.It is having no effect on your b/f.

I think you need time for just you, to build your confidence and self worth.To know you deserve love and and to be valued.You have an air of vulnerability about you, and an air of innocence.You obviously have a fine spirit and are a strong brave girl.

Ignore those calling you a slut,I feel you slept with these men to feel attractive,loved and just some human warmth.This is not a crime, we all crave such things, its human.When you value yourself for the special person, you really are.you will not accept having your needs ignored nor will you give your heart to undeserving people.Dont accept second best and this guy is second best, heck hes way down the line, around 30th best.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do you guys think this is fair?