| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:22:07 AM | its like shopping online: -it may be less hassle to stay home and look at things through your monitor, however its still fun to run to costco and sample the goodies  | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:36:16 AM | anenigma,
I agree that bars will be a mainstay of singles, and with alcohol, it's an opener for face-to-face adventure... and that online is more like a 'people shop'. However...
Online isn't like finding a needle in a haystack. Not at all. It's a totally different environment than that.
1) It's like a bar where the same people are going to, and slowly people leave, and slowly new people come in. MUCH slower than a real bar. Active bars have 85-90% different crowds every different night. Hence, online, there isn't a turnover rate in variety. That's what it is.
2) When many people go people-shopping online, they are very apprehensive out of stories they've heard or the stigma. They look for flaws. It's a total clipboard mentality. Their mindset isn't the same as running into someone in the real world and sizing them up.
3) People, gals especially, can get TONS of options. Like kids in a candy store, they will want to suck on a lot of suckers before buying 1 bag to take home for good. It can just be an attention-seeking experience for many -- much like those who like to shop for the experience itself, but don't buy that often. There are some people like that at bars, but the online realm is a haven for it.
Bottom line: Bars have ever-changing crowds (opportunities), an online site has a slowly-changing crowd. Being online allows people to not take it seriously, to gain attention, have a clipboard mentality, all done at their convenient use of time in their own home. In bars, it requires more effort and time on the spot, hence taken more seriously... and you're in the presence of them, which gives you a sense of security (good or not). | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:15:57 PM | "Like kids in a candy store, they will want to suck on a lot of suckers before buying 1 bag to take home for good"
Or like like Adults going to Tim Hortons... you'll probably want to Munch on at least a few Muffins (and maybe try some Donut Holes on the side) before buying a dozen to take home...
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:34:12 PM | | hmmmmmmm says u ladyc4 lol! don't think you know what i do or why i do it or where! Do crystal balls and computers really work in tandem? | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:21:05 PM | OP,
Online dating also has advantages:
-You get greater exposure to a greater number of people and also see a larger variety of people... especially people who are not into drinking or the bar scene.
-You save money because you can target people who you are much more interested in instead of going to a club only to find there is nobody there who is your type
-It's safer. Nobody can slip anything into your drink with online dating (safer for women). Also, you won't have to deal with bar fights (safer for men)
-It's more time-efficient... in that you can chat with someone ahead of time before deciding to spend the time and money on going on dates.
-Through the forums, you can see how some people really are rather than the 'front' they put up when you meet them in a bar. While people can't lie about their looks in a bar, they can still lie about everything else.
You can't compare the 2, the bar club things wins! Look at it like this yeah bars a and clubs do have their disadvantages. It cost money to go out also it helps if you don't have young children. But any one can be anything on here say treat you how they want too from the cumfort of their own home. Why should they care if they depress you or make your night shit? at the end of the day they can click next person and judge by a fake profile or fake picture. It looks like the forums are the one shing thing that saves this site as people want to grasp reality via other users and find out if they get ignored too lol. Personally being a dj and having worked bars in the past it not about alcahol really it about the atmosphere of a bar. If no one is in a bar they they won't stay. Also to our american friends i know how you guys are anti drinking, you rather stare at a screen and sip your Dr Pepper lol, so please don't assume you know us brits you don't or the british way of life. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:21:41 PM |
hmmmmmmm says u ladyc4 lol! don't think you know what i do or why i do it or where
You came right out and stated in message 18 that you were emailing women here and calling them ignorant cows. And that you got responses when you insulted them. I doubt they were POSITIVE responses. I don't need a crystal ball to see an ineffective mindset/approach.
Look, if you are interested in meeting people to date, you cannot just confine yourself to one narrow venue. I've had a few serious relationships in my life( one was 25 yrs and ended due to his death) and none came from bars and only one came from online. I've made some good friends/found interesting activities either directly or indirectly from online dating site contacts. But pretty much most of my relationships have come about while I was just living my life and doing the things I do.
Cindy O | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:32:41 PM | | some one said that wasn't nice! i don't think people care to be honest with you. Lets get something straight if i message someone doesn't mean i want sex with them or marry them does it. I look it like this if you spend money in a shop they give you your change what is the first thing you say to them? i don't come on a site to be ignored just like i don't say good morning to some one only to be ignored, get my drift hunny? | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:37:41 PM | | What happens if i was in a boat in a bad storm and i had to bail out but i couldn't swim, left to this bunch i be dead. If people feel insulted by me, then ask your self why, i feel insulted by their actions or lack of actions. There a saying treat your fellow human like you would like to be treated yourself. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:51:48 PM | | ^^^I'd rather find out at closing time than get a shock three weeks later after driving somewhere to meet. At least you wrap things up in the same night and solve the mystery. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 3:58:36 PM | To me, online smoozing is a form of advance recon.
I can tell after a few emails if I'd like to have a drink with you...
or if I'd have to be totally drunk to like you.
LOL | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:28:07 PM | Both have various drawbacks...
But if you don't go to clubs and bars what have you got?
Plus I can always get alcohol at home, and I don't need to go to a club. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:37:24 PM | | I agree with the poster who said she'd rather see what she was getting upfront at the bar rather than have to wait three weeks to be disappointed. I think that sums it up beautifully. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:43:31 PM | ^^^Why thank you, but it's true. I'd rather see a guy in person from minute 1 and pass or fail him right there. Saves a buttload of time.
I stopped living that club life. The same thing is always a shitty result anywayz so clubs are out of it for me.
You only get shitty results when you expect something major to come from going to clubs and bars. If the only reason you go anywhere is to find someone to get off the market, then you're gonna be pissed off a lot.
If you go for the club itself (music, drinks, atmosphere, dancefloor, fun with friends) and expect nothing but to go home when it's over then the experience is way more fun for you. I sometimes think that's why women tend to like clubs more than men overall - they're not there with an underlying purpose to find someone so they can hurry up and stop going. They actually like being there for the sake of it, and many times will still go when not single.
It's possible that you might run into more single people in a club than anywhere else, but that doesn't mean it's THE place to go to find someone. It's just coincidental. A singles event is the only place where you can be sure everyone is single (or should be) and actually looking. All else is chance. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:50:59 PM | | I go to clubs n bars cos it what i was bought up with really. Not to just pick some one up but cos of the atmosphere. The only problem with single nights via the net is you just might not find someone like you. Also it something pre planned isn't it and it from the net. Very hard to take people from the net as just people who want to go out and socialise. Why would people need a meet from the net to socialise? And you just don't know what they will be like to hang out with. I also think it a fun thing watching blokes get blown out in bars n clubs. You can also see who that person iswhich is a big plus. I do know a few people from Nottingham who live to go out they maybe single they maybe not but they are fun people. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:40:09 PM |
What I do is ballroom dance.
Ballroom dancers seldom drink.
We are courteous and rarely refuse and invitation to dance (it's bad form).
We allow the men to lead.
That sounds nice, but where on where? | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 1:43:08 AM | the one MAJOR flaw/problem etc that comes with online dating is that most people's expectation builds up WAY too high!..that is why so many first dates never turn second dates..because when they meet in person one or both persons did get their expectations met..all the anticpation about meeting someone who seem to be interesting or what have you...just goes right down...i've always though that that is the most common problem with online dating....the other major problem is that most people "automatically" get "Picky"..and that is usually as a result of people having too much "option"..not saying having a lot of options is a bad thing..but like everything else it has its dis-advantages..anyway thats what i've come to notice about online dating
I dont really meet women at bars/club so i dont know how things really work in that regard | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:23:29 AM | | Online expectations! If a man walks into a club and sees that there are noticably fewer women than men, and knowing that a certain number of those women are not looking to meet men, he will not have particularly high expectations for meeting any of them. But, guys log onto the internet with high expectations, having heard or read that there are "millions" of women online looking to meet men. Only later does he find out that the numbers are against him, and that women online are no more forthcoming than IRL. This, I think, accounts for a lot of the bitterness often displayed. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:31:34 AM | | I think u have a better chance of having a one niter online than in the clubs. I think the quality of people is better in the club and the chance for a long term relationship. So many people lie and they are married or in a relationship. They have fake pics and make themselves into someone they only wish they were. In the clubs u can watch body language and their eyes and expression and figure them out! My vote is the overall results are clubs and alcohol are better. | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 47 | |
| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:32:01 AM | the one MAJOR flaw/problem etc that comes with online dating is that most people's expectation builds up WAY too high!..that is why so many first dates never turn second dates..because when they meet in person one or both persons did get their expectations met..all the anticpation about meeting someone who seem to be interesting or what have you...just goes right down...i've always though that that is the most common problem with online dating....the other major problem is that most people "automatically" get "Picky"..and that is usually as a result of people having too much "option"..not saying having a lot of options is a bad thing..but like everything else it has its dis-advantages..anyway thats what i've come to notice about online dating
I agree. I think many people will turn down someone that emails them very quickly just because (s)he doesn't have super attractive pictures of themselves or because
(s)he doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements. I think there is a difference between having some reasonable standards that are flexible to some extent vs being extremely picky and having rigid requirements. If / when there is actually a first date, many people want an instant connection. Otherwise they quckly lose interest in the other person. Unless a man was butt ugly or there was a clear off about him, I would date him 2-3 times before making a decision about him. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:44:40 AM | | The problem with alcohol and clubs is when people get drunk, their judgement is clouded. Online dating is tricky cause alot of people hide behind the cloak of the computer. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:54:47 AM |
i don't come on a site to be ignored just like i don't say good morning to some one only to be ignored, get my drift hunny?
Hey, you were the one who came out and posted that you were emailing women and calling them ignorant cows. I'll grant that you didn't indicate whether this was something you did to women who simply didn't respond to your email/message, or ones who responded with a "thanks but no thanks".
Look, unless you are young, incredibly good looking, claim a high income, have pictures showing material possessions, getting ignored a lot on dating sites is what happens.
And to those who are posting that the alcoholic beverage scene and online are the ONLY places to meet people; good grief!
I thought back over the serious relationships in my life( one which lasted for 25+ years) and I met ONE online. I met NONE in a club or bar. Even just casual dating situations that never really went anywhere, I can think of only 2 or 3 that arose from meeting in a bar.
So, Mr Coolxx, if you say "good morning" to someone, and they don't respond for whatever reason, do you scream insults at them? If you hit on a girl in a bar and she brushes you off, do you verbally assault her?
Let's get something straight...I'm a woman of maturity and real world experience. In your posts here, you are coming across as impatient,immature and pretty close to being obnoxious. From the life experience I have, I can tell you that your attitude will mostly produce results...of more frustration.
Just because a woman is on a dating site, in a bar, walking down the street,wherever! and you approach her, does not mean she OWES you a response.
Cindy O | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/28/2009 10:09:28 AM |
If / when there is actually a first date, many people want an instant connection. Otherwise they quckly lose interest in the other person. Unless a man was butt ugly or there was a clear off about him, I would date him 2-3 times before making a decision about him.
See..you are right..but thats the world we live n now...people now have a "quick fix" midset in all aspects of life..they want everything to happen right away!..they want their food to be cooked and ready in no time...if they put something in the microwave they start complaining that its taking too long to heat up..you walk on the streets or waiting to get on the subway they push and shove and what have you...no one wants to take their time in life anymore...and the same mindset carries over into their dating lives...and while i agree that sometimes you can tell right away if there will ever be anything between you and that person because certain things may be obvious that you KNOW you will not like/want etc..but there are times when you just cant know right away if you will be a good fit with the person....just like a lot of people..i used to be one of those who would say stuff like...:oh i can know right away if i have/will have a connection with someone"..then as i grew up and dated more and more i realised that its always BEST to get to know someone beyond a few minutes or just a first date...
I just think that more people ought to have more patience in dating and relationships..its the same way with people in a relationship...the first time a major problem comes up..one or both person/s are ready to bolt without trying to work out things and talk etc...so i think a lot of online daters need to stop complaining about not having "chemistry" with people when they meet or that they cant find a good man/woman to date...start having more patience and/or resistance and maybe things will be better for you..just a though | |
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