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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dealing with competition or the "c*ck block"      Home login  
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 arizonabeth
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 26
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck blockPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If I'm interested, nobody is going to pull me away, or I can find the guy later and see if he was interested, too.
 Eleora
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 27
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 1/27/2009 5:41:29 PM
Wonders if Incuubus has been reading "The Game" lolz!

What he said is the most effective way to counteract that sort of thing lol.
 notwow
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 28
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:20:57 PM
Do people seriously play these games?

Just tell the male interloper, "You mow your lawn, and I'll mow mine".
 mnd2009
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 29
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 1/28/2009 2:45:53 AM

So let's say you're a guy at the bar/party/gathering and you meet a pretty girl. Regardless of your intentions, you're chatting it up with her, getting to know her, and she seems into... suddenly another guy slips up with a hello that grabs her attention and you can clearly see he's trying to steal you away. That or the one female friend you wouldn't hit on it immediately trying to drag her away to the bathroom, out, or even to some other guy she thinks is better for her friend.


Honestly, write my number on a napkin and try to hand it off to her before the end of the night. You can't slide inbetween her and her friend that easily. If she's interested in picking up your conversation with her she'll probably call.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 30
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:01:19 AM
if she is into you, she will come back!

You just have to play it cool!!
 ArrowSparrow
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 31
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:20:52 AM
Didn't get to read all of the posts here but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring. Here's some things I found that really helps, and hopefully they help you.

First, understand that when women go out, they usually go out with each other. Groups of 2-4 women are not out of the normal to see in bars, clubs, social events. This doesn't mean they all are lesbians guys, they just are good friends and they go out to have fun and be safe.

Most common mistake guys make with girls in these scenes is they engage one girl out of the group. The group then perceives their friend as being the "target" and they sweep in to protect. It can sometimes be out of jealousy, but often times it's them seeing you as being too direct or rude.

How to counteract? Engage the group. I'm not saying get a number from every girl in the group, but talk to the group. Jealousy can't ensue if your giving kindness to the group. Don't say "hello, what's up", instead, ask for advice. You heard me, advice.

Girls love giving advice. Ask for a girl's advice in a public scene and often times they'll turn to face you and focus on what you're saying. It empowers them to do something good and you asking for their answer to a problem is gratifying to them. The truth is, if us guys listened to the advice half of the women here, we'd all be better of anyways so it's win-win.

Ask if hats look good on guys, ask if you're supposed to put socks on before your pants, ask what the name of the female smurf was, it really doesn't matter. The idea is to engage the group in a conversation and show you're not a threat.

There is other ways to open a group, but advice works well and you can always lead into a conversation about the answers they give.

As for the situation where another guy enters the scene to steal your conversation away... here's some helpful tips:

-Say, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know you had a boyfriend, thought you were single" Saying this loudly enough for people around you to hear will label the female being dragged away as "tagged"... she doesn't want that label, she came here tonight to have a good time with her friends and now people think this guy dragging her away from you is her boyfriend. Most often times the reaction from her will be: "Oh, no he's not my boyfriend" She may even crinkle her nose, this makes the other guy feel like crap usually for the fact that she dismissed him somewhat. Once that happens, you could say "Ah I was wondering, he didn't look like your type"

-When you see a guy approach, include him in the conversation. If you're asking the group for advice, ask his opinion as well. Build rapport with him just as if he has been part of the group the whole time. This conveys to the guy that you're his friend, and he feels part of your "team" which in turn could lead to him distracting one of the girls in the group for you to talk to your original target.

I've wrote a novel already, but hopefully something helpful comes of it. For the people out there who think this is "sneaky" or it doesn't work, try it. Sure beats your normal routine of standing on the outside watching everyone else mingle in the club/bar/social scene.
 jeeplover41
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 32
Do men really prefer a woman who presents them with the knowledge that they have competition
Posted: 3/7/2009 8:33:14 AM

<div class='quote'>Do men really prefer a woman who presents them with the knowledge that they have competition from other guys?

Any man with an ounce of self worth does not find that attractive at all. If she is so popular that I have to jump through hoops and kiss her a**, then she can have one less "competitor".....ME!

Only a narcissistic and immature person would flaunt their "popularity", and that person, for me, goes into the undateable file.

I won't be somone's "right now until someone better comes by". That is shallow and "playing games", and I want depth in my partner.

Women are not prizes to be won, but gifts to be received!
 Thebestbeancounter
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 33
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/7/2009 9:07:53 AM
When I know I have competition, it doesn't bother me, I just keep doing what I do and if she's not interested then that's her loss I don't treat it as if the girl's a prize, and besides, there are plenty of ladies out there better looking and have a better personality than her if she's going to be that way around me.

Leave the games to the children, drama will always show up at my doorstep, but I have no intentions of opening the door
 Goodbye_Girl
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 34
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/7/2009 10:25:54 AM
OP, I really don't see your point. When I go out for an evening of fun, it is usually with my girlfriends. I have never had this happen to me with them (they probably know better than to try that on with me). Our Girl's Night Out rule: "We go together, we leave together".
If I meet a man that is truly interested in me and I him, and another guy tries to move in while we are talking, you can be assured that I would try to keep my conversation to the first guy. However, that being said, I am not interested in being some guys "pickup" for the evening. If after our conversation and possibly some dancing he wants to see me, he can ask for my phone # and arrange a proper date with me another time. If I choose not to give out my # to a guy, then he has his answer.

Pretty simple isn't it...
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 35
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:25:26 PM
OP

The best remedy for a c@ckblock is a good wingman.
 honey_babes
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 36
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/7/2009 7:28:44 PM
Well if she is interested she'll find her way back to you, if not then she wasn't to begin with. Yes it's very common for g'friends to do this, it's kinda like saving each other from the guy or guys. But all in all if she likes you she'll find you.
 Lannister
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 37
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/7/2009 8:55:08 PM
Theres easy ways to blow the guy out and make him look weak. Ask the guy a question, when he answers then back turn him(or side turn depending on logistics) and start talking to the girl again. dont achnowledge his responce or just say something like "cool" or "sweet" and cut him out.

that, or just say "hey lets go get a drink" and put your arm out for her to take it.

if she ignores you after either of these. just say "you guys have fun" and leave cause shes not worth it.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 38
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/10/2009 8:43:02 PM
Eh, I'm not one interested in the competition game.

If she tells me that I have competition?

I'll tell her that she can have the competition then!


\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/That's a nice thought and way to put it!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 39
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 3/10/2009 8:46:46 PM
I still say if a guy's scorching hot enough to me nothing/no one will distract me when I start talking to him. It's not possible.
 ALMOSTABLONDE
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 40
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/2/2011 2:30:43 PM

If I like a guy enough, this wouldn't be possible for another guy or girl to do.


i've had it happen to me, yes if i like a guy, i don't care about what others say or do to keep us apart
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 41
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/2/2011 3:35:33 PM
*******************Search google for "Great moments in Hookup History for clues on how to prevent the c*ckblock.*******************************
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 42
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/2/2011 4:01:51 PM
I still say if a guy's scorching hot enough to me nothing/no one will distract me when I start talking to him. It's not possible.

I really liked one girl I was seeing... We were on maybe the second or third date, at a bar and this guy starts hitting on her...
All of sudden she looks at him and says "Are you fcuking stupid? "
She went up one side of him and down the other, told him off for trying to pick her up and for not taking the hint that she wasn't interested..." She pulled no punches, told him what she thought of his pick up act and everything...
It was priceless...
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 43
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 5:32:59 AM

What do you do?

I've never had that happen or at least if I did, I was oblvious to what was happening. HOWEVER, why call it c*ckblocking? Why not just call it ``not interested enough in you?'' Seriously, if she was interested enough, another person wouldn't be able to butt in.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 44
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 11:19:06 AM

Added: I agree with Tee. If a woman I don't know steps in, then it's up to him to deal with it.


Perhaps unfortunately in my case, a****block works every time. I've never been the type to do a hard-press or come on strong, so any kind of deliberate disruption breaks the tenuous connection and I'm gone.

Maybe I'll try again later, but at the moment of the****block, I toss the pole in the water and walk away. I don't talk to the blocker, I don't make excuses, I just leave. I don't get into shouting matches or attention whore/wars. I just remove myself from the scene.

I don't consider that a "fail" on my part, just an "incomplete", an act of god, natural disaster - what can you do? - kind of event. It's rare, leave it at that.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 45
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 11:19:51 AM
I agree with a few posters who mentioned the secret "SAVE ME" code from a female or male friend.


I have an additional take on this.
As a bouncer at night clubs, I often become a professional c@ckblock.
Part of the job involves watching the crowd for discomfort.
Sometimes it's a party bomber...someone or a group that dive-bomb into another group or individual space unwelcome. It can also be a creeper.

Sensing an uncomfortable area, I can observe facial expressions and body language then either make eye contact and give thumbs up or down to the uncomfortable party. If I get the thumbs down or save me look I'll swoop in, interrupt the creeper/bombers and either remove the single person from the creeper or ask the group to find another area away from the bothered group. I have also seen non-pro, well intentioned people doing this as well....sometimes it meets with success and other times it turns into them being worse than the original offender.

I also get strange women coming up, giving me a hug/kiss and acting like we're together...often followed by an introduction to another....them introducing me as their husband/boyfriend/brother/father/uncle etc.. This happens when the creeper follows them up...usually it gets the creeper to leave, at which point I get the "Thanks, you saved me." line.

Basically some people just don't get the hint that their company is no longer wanted or never was. Either a pro, friend or observant party will step in. The creeper is very easy to spot....everyone can see it except the creeper.

Women are often too afraid or inexperienced to really be mean. Unfortunately being mean is the only way to get through to some people...other times they're just trying not to be rude or cause trouble.

So... if you're routinely being c@ckblocked....guess what? YOU ARE the creeper!
Cut it out! Learn to watch for signals that you've overstayed your welcome.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 46
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 4:19:37 PM

I don't talk to the blocker, I don't make excuses, I just leave. I don't get into shouting matches or attention whore/wars. I just remove myself from the scene.

Unfortunately, that's probably why they keep doing it... Each time a guy bails out, it simply reinforces their behaviour...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 47
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 8:21:18 PM
^^^^^^^Perhaps, but if the guy was REALLY welcome/wanted in the first place, the woman would shut down the c@ckblocker and stick with the guy being blocked. If the c@ckblocker is successful its only because he is MORE welcome than the other guy!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 48
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Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 8:54:03 PM

Perhaps, but if the guy was REALLY welcome/wanted in the first place, the woman would shut down the c@ckblocker and stick with the guy being blocked.

Generally, I'd agree... but there can be exceptions...
For example the woman has just basically met both guys within a short time period...and they are kind of on an equal footing for getting to know her....

Or as I've also seen, the woman is clueless about the 'c_blocker' hitting on her, thinks he's just being friendly... and the guy she wants to get to know basically gives up, not realising the nuances....

The ones that I've encountered a few times are the 'platonic' friend who thinks if he can keep every guy away from her, she will finally realise just how great he is and they will live happily ever after in a fantasy in his head.... They tell you stuff like they're together, they're this or that... anything to discourage....
Usually the woman is unaware this is going on and if/when she finds out, it can have the opposite effect... making her more likely to get together with you...

The main thing to remember though is that men don't pick up women... women pick up men... The men just have to make it easier for the women to pick them up... so in many ways a 'c_blocker' is not an issue as she will be the one making the moves...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 49
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 10:03:15 PM
Usually the woman is unaware this is going on and if/when she finds out, it can have the opposite effect...


On some level they're ALWAYS aware! They often USE that "friend" as much as the friend uses them...yes, sometimes they eventually fall prey to that friends agenda....at the same time they're getting something out of the exchange too.

Just like a con artist exchanges a fantasy for a moment to get the goods, whatever the goods happen to be.
If the mark didn't think they were getting something for nothing in the first place they wouldn't ever get "taken".

So the woman THINKS she's got a friend, and uses that friend for her selfish needs really that friend is just playing along to use her.

If the woman can't see that, then I wouldn't want her.....she's not worldly/savvy enough to hold my interest.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 50
Dealing with competition or the c*ck block
Posted: 4/3/2011 11:11:21 PM
More than once, several times, actually, a married man I had a good rapport with, was trying to get *anything* from me, and interruptions would come when they thought they were getting close and they would cry foul (discreetely) at the c block that just happened. Well, since they were trying at every opportunity and since they were hiding their attempts from everyone, these block moments happened often. I would always laugh at them, and later they would say how "close" they thought they were to convincing me.

What none of them really understood was that the interruptions and other men were not the block to moment they were seeking.

The block was me.
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