| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:40:49 PM | cpupro, I don't understand at all why you would post such a thread in this forum - it just reeks of pot-stirring to me. you don't want to date someone with kids? fine, don't! But good grief, don't come into a thread of single paretns and say you take issues with dating single moms! You have your reasons for wanting to date who you want & that's fine but to come post that you have "issues" is awfully rude.
people should be making a stronger effort to stay with the one's they make these babies with instead of bedding down and having kids out of wedlock. we keep making kids statistics and i'm sick of seein' it. getting pregnant and having children is a serious committment that ought to be taken more seriously by people and it's just not taken seriously anymore if you ask me.
wow, pretty sweeping comment there kitty! that's being awfully presumptious about what kind of relationship someone had with "the one they make these babies with". What if someone were raped & choose to keep the baby? What is the guy became abusive? What if he left her? What if in the case of a guy, she left him? What if the partner died? And for the comment about "making kids statistics" - well aren't we all SOME kind of statistic? More and more experts these days are saying it's BETTER for kids' parents to split/separate than stick together for the kids' sakes. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:12:27 PM | | Some good points from both sides I think. And kitty, I think I misjudged you a bit, so sorry about that. But I don't know why you did not explain to your son (who might have been 7 years old at the time), that mommy (and your son) does have a right to have another adult in your lives and life will be better. If he was a good guy like the guy Meeka is talking about, I think you both (you and your son) missed out with your choice. Let me correct myself. I think you both missed out with your sons choice. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:27:31 PM |
cpupro, I don't understand at all why you would post such a thread in this forum - it just reeks of pot-stirring to me.
I had to. It would get deleted for being off topic in another forum.
 | |
|
nrk
|
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:42:16 PM | You "had to" post this thread?? Give me a break! What constitutes 'had to'? You "don't see how it would ever work" in your original post, which pretty much summaries the two lame statements you made prior to that:
1) They can't ever go out! (The kids act like an anchor.)
2) You can do anything at their place! (Kids are there.)
...what, exactly is your point? You don't want to date single moms, that's fine...your choice, your prerogotive, totally understandable. But to come into this particular forum and post it most certainly IS pot stirring. Grow up!
 | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/27/2005 11:33:47 AM | | I think the guy who is going on and on about not wanting to date a single mom because he wants to be top dog in his woman's life and blah blah blah is simply a guy with attachment issues. He's saying why should any man pick up where the other guy left off and blah blah blah. He is obviously a guy who is very egocentric and all women need to beware of him. He probably wears diapers himself and needs them changed frequently. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/27/2005 12:23:36 PM | oh it can.
if shes dumb enough to just sort of leave the kid to their own devices.
and doesnt really give a damn what said child sees and hears | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/27/2005 2:47:45 PM | I FEEEL YA PRINCESS864! I AM A SINGLE MOM OF ONE WHO IS NOW 6YRS OLD...
I AM 25 YEARS OLD...SO I'M FARRRRRRR FROM OLD....
I LOVE TO GO OUT, AND WITH THE HELP OF FAMILY...IT DOESNT STOP IT ONE BIT!
...AND I TOO...REMEMBER THAT I AM A MOM BEFORE ANYTHING...
SO IF IM UP DRINKING ALLLLLLLLLLLLL NIGHT....
THEN IT DOESNT STOP ME JUMPING INTO "MOMMY MODE" IN THE MORNING!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD...BETTER YET...GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WORK!!!!!
 **TO ALL THE HATAS WHO THINK SINGLE MOMS CANT MAKE IT** | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:59:49 PM | | Sounds like SOMEONE is looking for a sex buddy and not a relationship. Plenty of women do not put their bf as number one.....they have family, friends, hobbies......and any/all of that may come first. I may not be a single mom, but i need a man willing to be responsible and not incredibly self centered and horny 24/7 | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/28/2005 5:37:22 AM |
Sounds like SOMEONE is looking for a sex buddy and not a relationship.
Sex wouldn't be a bad thing... but that's not all I'm looking for. :)
Plenty of women do not put their bf as number one.....they have family, friends, hobbies......and any/all of that may come first.
And you wonder WHY you're a single mom... :)
I may not be a single mom, but i need a man willing to be responsible and not incredibly self centered and horny 24/7
Disregard that comment. ;)
I am not self centered. I am single and I want someone to care about me. I also want kids of my own someday. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/28/2005 6:18:12 AM | So far.. No...
I mean.. being here at POF is fun and all..
But I have no one to watch my daughter so I can go out.
Single mom of a 3 year old daughter
unless the fun includes Dora the explorer I don't have it IRL
So here I am at POF...
Katelynn | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 3:47:43 AM | | I can appreciate where you are coming from. I was young and single once too. Perhaps you will appreciate things that were said here when it is your turn. Since more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, chances are pretty high that whomever you marry, it will end in divorce. When you have your kids recall this discussion. Life is not over once you have children but you have to work hard to have a family/social balance. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 5:21:32 AM | I do, but I've turned into a homebody. My children are old enough to watch each other.
What exactly do you entail as having fun? When I am in school and working then no I don't have the time to spare. Hence the reason for me wanting a summer romance that would develop into something more. Hopefully, by the time school season comes along again he will be understanding rather than demanding. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 7:28:50 AM | first of all to everyone that posted to princess saying how could she leave her child at home alone? SHE NEVER SAID SHE DID. She said her child went to bed at 8:30 and she went out where in there does that say that she leaves them home alone. Im 21 my daughter is 3 almost 4 and on the weekends i ahve her if im going somewhere at night that my daughter probably shouldnt go i ask my mom to watch her which usually isnt a problem my mom will be home anways and i dont leave until my daughter is asleep nothing wrong with that what so ever.
Second the guy that wont date a single mom who frakin cares you wont date a single mom good for you. But why do you have to post it we really dont care i didnt know there was as high demand for you in the single parent thread??? imean thats the only reason i could imagine you would post this (you know to let all the women that want you know you dont like single parents )
I also dont understand your whole you want to be #1 in a relationship well how is your relationship going to work if your always worried about being #1. I think you just need to be #1 with your hand for the rest of your life. I do indeed feel bad for anywoman that is stuck with a man who thinkins he and only he is number 1
 | |
|
nrk
|
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 8:23:02 AM |
i didnt know there was as high demand for you in the single parent thread???
yes indeed...all one needs to do is look at his profile to know we aren't his 'type'...pretty much a cut and paste job in here.
OT: Single moms can have lots of fun, but what we classify as "fun" is probably different than what a childless person would define as a good time. Certainly, going out and getting sh*t faced on a weekly basis is out of the question...ughhhhh...hangovers and kids just don't mix well... | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 8:41:13 AM | I think the OP had his mind made up before starting this thread. I do not think he has really listened to what anyone has said but himself. And furthermore, i think he thrives on putting down the single mom and their role with their children.
That's right, he doesn't want to date a single mom, he wants to be number one in someone's life and he doesn't want a kid involved. I divorced someone like that. It's called being self centered, self absorbed. If he truelly feels this way, that's fine. Why start a thread when you know that you already feel way? He doesn't want anyones opionion really. Besides, if a man really didn't want to be bothered with another mans kids, why is he even looking on a single parents forum here? | |
|
nrk
|
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 41 | |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 2:22:47 PM | I am a single mom and I do go have my fun. Of course I do live with my parents and they know I need my adult time.
Almost every weekend I would go out from 9 pm till 3 am and shoot pool. I do go see my friend out of my city without my daughter, but I do have my responsibilities and for me I make sure my daughter understands that mom needs her time too, and she is spoiled because she is my only one. But at the same time if you know the situation then dont bother asking them out if lyou can't handle the fact that there kids come first. It also depends on houw old they are because I did nnot start going out until she turned 8 and now she is nine she is not that needy as much. | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/1/2005 5:50:20 AM | When my children were small yes at times they did stop me from being able to go out as sometimes they got sick, had things going on at school etc. Most understood. The ones that didn't.
As to bringing home someone I was just dating, no way!!! There was no way they were going to see a bunch of guys coming and going. I would have only brought someone home if it looked like it would develop into something more serious than dating. In other words I would of had to have been very sure they were someone that would have been good for my kids. It has always got on my last nerve to see single mothers bring home a different guy every month, or in a couple of cases as many as three or four a week. What are they thinking?
As to who is number one? That is very simple. My children would always be number one over a boyfriend. Even now and they are grown. Boyfriends come and go, your children are your children for life.
If you are talking marriage then that is a whole different issue. It seems my thoughts on when you start a family are a little different than most. To me you start your family the day you marry. I see a husband and wife as a family, even if they never have children.
There will always be times when your childrens needs come first, but if you are married, in your heart and soul, your husband or wife should always come first. Even if you already have children when you get married. If you think enough of them to become a family with them, then why wouldn't they be number one? The idea is you are going to be with this person the rest of your life. One day the children will grow up. Most will have thier own family and maybe even children, then who will be left at home with you? Your spouse.
This is even more so if you marry and you don't have children. Something just seems down right sick about marrying someone, they are number one. Then you have children and suddenly the person you became a family with, gets pushed down to number 2.
Marriage is meant to be for life. I of course realize it doesn't work out that way, but you should always go into it with that thought. My parents were married 45 years and still would be, if my dad had not passed away from cancer. I always had the deepest respect for them, because they were always each others number one. Me and my sister always knew that they loved us both dearly, and always loved the way the put each other first. We always had everything we needed, a lot of what we wanted, and always felt secure that we were loved. I would have had very little respect for my parents, had they put each other anything less than number one.
The bottom line, there is no reason why you should ever settle for being anything other than number one. I would not even consider marrying a man that would not put me as his number one, and I would not even consider marrying a man that I could not put as number one. If he had children, I would be willing to share the number one spot, but I would not be willing to be number two. As another poster said, we all know where number two ends up.
Your spouse or as you put it your life partner is not meant to be your whole world, but they are meant to be the center of it. | |
|
| |
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/1/2005 6:05:17 PM | | cpupro....you answered your own question at least 5 times, perhaps you should think before you speak ....just a thought | |
|
| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/1/2005 8:37:02 PM | | Wanting to be #1 in someones life that has a child is completely selfish. I have a baby boy (10 months) and I'm not tied down. I do go out and have fun but my son is #1 in my life that is how it should be. If you dont like that fact stay clear from women who have children. | |
|
| You have no idea
Posted: 7/1/2005 10:40:24 PM | >>> cpupro_4hire
Well, I just couldn't stay away from the childlish content of your message...
People were right saying - "don't want it - don't do it".
However, I can picture you (based upon solid experience) being in your mid- to late- 30's casually (cause of your own high demands) attached to some mother of a teenager and thinking to yourself - "Ain't I lucky THIS doesn't need me FOR anything?"
May be those single moms you described as never having time for you - they were never attracted to you?
As for not having the proper romantic atmosphere at HER place - would it empty your wallet to offer to cover the babysitting costs if you were really into something more than just .... ok, call it romantic evening?
I never meant to be bitter. Just think what your own mother had to give up for you. | |
|
Home
login 
