| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:03:45 AM | thanks kitty - it sounds like we're in the same ball park for the most part ;)
I totally see your point about a guy without kids not wanting to get involved with a single mom -- and I have NO problem with that ... just a problem with said guy sounding off on single moms. like what sexy&single said, it's just aggravating to be painted with the same brush. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/6/2005 11:21:25 AM |
Oh I'd also like to add...
cpupro_4hire..I just read your profile and I giggled while reading it. Not sure why but I picture you with a big long broomstick up your a** and not at all what most single moms would want anyway...Oops sorry, let me rephrase that before I get hate mail...maybe not all single moms as I can't speak for them but THIS single mom...there...and I wager a few others too.
Get over yourself...you ain't all that. Mr. Perfect...indeed
Blastkist you are a sweetie. I like how you speak your mind. :)
You're right, I'm not perfect. But in a world that's messed up enough as it is, the one thing I can set right is what goes on in my family. And rather than leaving behind a trail of kids with numerous ex's and being a deadbeat dad, I'm looking for someone that doesn't have kids and wants them someday when she's ready. And when I find that special someone, I'm not going to f*ck it up.
I've noticed that many single moms are single moms because they had children at a very young age. I've waited until my life was in order, my income stable and strong, and my education complete. I'm now at a stage where I can think about the possibility of having kids of my own.
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:21:27 PM | | well mr 4hire, i have never heard so much shit come out of 1 persons mouth, before i was blessed with my daughter i met her mother who had i 6 mth old son, who i see now as my son that kid gave my a new outlook on life and my daughter is doing the same single mothers r no different then any other women, in fact most of them have more to offer, not saying that u personally should date them but saying sometimes u cant control who your heart feels is right and sometimes it wrong, ya maybe some girls have kids for the wrong reason, and maybe some r not ready, but in the end it doesnt make them any different, i am the oppsite of u, i will only date single mothers. you should just understand the other side of things before u flap your mouth of, and if need attention that bad i would never have kids if i were u | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:23:00 PM | | and to add i was pretty much a father at 20 and ya it was hard but i am very stable now so its make no diff, what age u r | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 4:17:37 PM | I am a single mom, and I have alot of fun!
Things are different yes, and some things you don't do like you used to. BUT....not because you "can't"....but because being a mother you choose not to.
I do not believe that having a child holds you down in anyway....just makes what you are doing seem more worth it.
Being a single mom is not by choice for alot of women, and the women who do choose to be a single mom, have their reasons, and NO ONE should judge anyone on what they feel are the best choices for their children.
As for being #1 ? I do not believe that just because you have a child, does not mean that you can make your partner feels just as loved and just as high on the priority list. If you are not getting that feeling, then maybe your partner really isn't thinking you are #1 ?
A child will always be #1 to any parent, man or woman, and that is just the way it is.
I really see no point in this thread except to get reactions from people, and you have done that! | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 4:40:12 PM |
A child will always be #1 to any parent, man or woman, and that is just the way it is.
With marriages that work, this is not the case. The ones that last a life time are the ones when the husband and wife put each other as number one. Yes of course at times the child's needs will come first, but in the heart, your spouse or as you put it your partner should always be number one. My parents did it, their children knew they were loved, we had nothing but respect for them. They would still be married had my dad not died from cancer.
I am a single parent, and there is no way I would become seriously involved with someone or married to them and ever put them anything less than number one. I would also not be willing to settle for less than number one. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/8/2005 10:02:49 PM | | cpupro, I have had the bad experience of having a boyfriend whom i think would agree with your selfish way of thinking. Being with him was like having 2 kids instead of one. So i think you are doing yourself and whoever gets stuck with you a big favor. Take your childish behavior and find someone who is as self centered as you are and have a great life pleasing #1. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/8/2005 10:10:14 PM | | thank you sweetdad. I am so tired of people labeling "single mothers" like we are our own breed or something. i am human, like to have fun and am not ashamed of my daughter and any a s s hole who thinks they can judge someone because they have kids has another thing comming. Personally i do not have a problem getting a date, never have. My motherhood hasnt haltered my social life because i havnt let it. I am still me, funny, outgoing and just plain fun to hang out with. So i am proud to be who and what i am, A SINGEL MOMMA!!!! | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/8/2005 10:44:47 PM | Yes they can have fun! Sure, we have to juggle our schedules a bit, but it's worth it if I really want to go out with a guy or girlfriend and have fun. Not once have I encountered a man who was put off by my being a mother. I have a 13 year old son and most times they are pretty interested in him, what sports he plays, what video games he has, etc.
As far as coming over and can't do anything because my son is here? Sheeyah rite! Just last weekend had a nice man over (he really wanted to see me...didn't want to wait until my son was at his dad's). We spent the Saturday watching Napoleon Dynamite, swam in the pool, grilled outside, they wrestled, and it was a great day. When my son is gone, that's when I'll have a date over and we'll either go out, stay in and cook, drink some wine, and I may or may not have him stay the night.
My son is #1 and his needs are first (before mine). When I know he's happy and his needs are met, then I'm more relaxed about dating and my sex life. And the more relaxed I am about that, the better mother I am to him.
The few men I've dated that I've allowed around my son for a day were wonderful to both of us, comfortable in the setting and actually tried to relate to my son, including him on our conversation or joking with him about how many girlfriends he has, etc...those kind of men are pretty rare and I give mad props to them! | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/9/2005 9:24:38 AM |
cpupro, I have had the bad experience of having a boyfriend whom i think would agree with your selfish way of thinking. Being with him was like having 2 kids instead of one. So i think you are doing yourself and whoever gets stuck with you a big favor. Take your childish behavior and find someone who is as self centered as you are and have a great life pleasing #1.
Why is everyone being so harsh with this guy? He doesn't seem selfish at all. I am a single parent, and I understand what he is saying, and agree with most of it.
If you are just dating someone, no you can't expect to be number one. If it goes beyond simple dating or the relationship stage and were to led to marriage, you have every right to expect to be number one.
Personally I think married people that put their children first over their spouse are the ones that are very self centered. Not to mention users. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/9/2005 9:46:41 AM | ^^^^
Yeah, I've gotta agree with ya there...cpupro is young. He is holding out for a woman without children, what's wrong with that??? Kudos to him for knowing what he wants and what he does not want! It's not selfish, it's called making a decision about which direction you want your life to take.
I don't understand why some of you jumped on him so hard. Did he hit a nerve?
Think about it...if you were 27, never been married, and had no children, would you prefer to date divorced men with children or date men who had no children? You know the answer to that one.
The caveat is that as we get older, there are more single parents out there and it's not that big of a deal anymore.
Hold out for what ya want cpupro...just keep in mind that as the years go by, your chances become fewer and farther between in finding the "right" woman who has no children. But good luck on your search, kiddo. Nothing wrong with your choice. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/9/2005 8:39:40 PM | | I would date a single mother, but I also have a child so I have a different point of view. But I'm not wanting to be #1 in anyones life, I would want those people in MY life, and make them important to me. If I dated a single mother, her child / children would be almost as important as she is and I would welcome them into my life. Certinally not look at them as "anchors", or consider myself #2. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/9/2005 9:34:32 PM | | It works over and over... time and time again... sounds like you need someone in your life 24/7... I would rather date a single mon any day over someone without... I have more in common with single mothers... they understand where I am in my life and I understand where they are in their life... | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/9/2005 10:35:16 PM | | I am separated and I have two children under 10. It can be frustrating at times when you want to go out, but, you have no babysitter or the sitter calls an hour beforehand and tells you that she can't make it that night...Its a pain in the aZZ, but, what are you going to do? I've been with guys who don't don't mind me having children and these are men w/out children. I married and I already had my daughter who was 3 at the time. It just takes a lot of understanding from both sides to make a relationship work, and maturity. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:31:04 PM | I don't feel I am being harsh in saying what is on my mind. It isn't right for people to judge or stereotype single parent's. We are people just like everyoneelse. Having a child doesn't automatically put someone in a certain category of human. It just erks me that someone puts up the discussion of "why he wouldn't date a single mom" on a single parents forum. He is just asking for a firestorm of discontent. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/12/2005 4:17:11 PM | | I agree if I a guy knows there is kids and if he is not ready or not wanting to handle it then don't even start anything with the mom. I am a mom of 3 and just started to date again after seperating from my husband and I want a guy that wants to be involved in the kids lives as well as mine or no sence really. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/12/2005 10:15:49 PM | Single moms can have fun. Its called living life and I for one would be more than happy dating a woman with kids----she knows what being a parent is about.
Just because you have kids does not mean you have absolutely no time to be an adult.
Now all you single moms feel free to send me email!  | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 8:02:02 AM | I like single moms for the fact that they are usually responsible and very loyal but as with anything in life you can't get it all without some kind of downside. Single moms (specially in my age range) tend to have no time whatsoever to go out and have fun they have hard time finding babysitters or paying for them since they cannot work when the kids are under 5.
So really it comes down to what kind of person you are looking for. If you like kids (I do
but have little experience with them so I can get nervious lol) and like a girl that will be laid back and would rather watch a movie on the couch then go out clubbing then maybe give it a shot, if you want to go out on dates all the time etc then I wouldnt suggest it.
The sad thing is alot of women have kids and alot of guys think it is too much to handle
to start dating a woman with kids so they stay single. And in my opinion I think that woman need someone to help them out when they have a child emotionally or otherwise. I personially like a girl who is laid back so the whole mother thing does not bother me but I also date woman without kids (In fact I have only been with one single mom). Hope this helps and good luck finding that special someone. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 8:06:11 AM |
they have hard time finding babysitters or paying for them since they cannot work when the kids are under 5.
Either these women are feeding you crap, or you are just gullible. Women can go right back to work after having a child. That's why we have daycare services available! | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 8:09:48 AM |
I've noticed that many single moms are single moms because they had children at a very young age. I've waited until my life was in order, my income stable and strong, and my education complete. I'm now at a stage where I can think about the possibility of having kids of my own.
Is that a fact or are you just making your own half assed judgement again?
A lot of single moms have great careers, or own their own businesses. They are perfectly well off. The reason they are single is nobody's business but their own and their previous partner.
Did you ever stop to think that some woman's previous husband may have cheated? Have passed away?
The more you open your mouth, the more I"m convinced your a walking a*hole. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 9:54:31 AM | I understand that this option is open for them but why then do most of them not work for the first few years? Maybe its cause in canada taxpayers like myself will gladly help them out.
I am not saying that they are lazy people cause in fact most single moms I know go back to school if they need to and get good paying jobs later in life. My buddy's mom was in the exact same position she was young 17 I think and went on welfare for a bit, stayed in low income housing projects made spefically for single mother's and once her kids were in school she became the most succesfull person I know man or woman. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 10:02:20 AM | | And I know its not planned to be a single mom but yes most of them do have them at a young age when they are not stable in life and this probally makes up for at least 70 percent of single mothers out there. But I do agree that the comment made being rude since it points to the fact that it wasnt planned and therefore judging the person. | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 10:25:19 AM | | having children at a young age doenst mean a thing , when i had my son at 17, i was a high school drop out and had nothing to look forward to, now i am in collage, saving money to buy my own house and life is great, granted yes dating is hard, just finding a balance is all it takes, i still go out and have a great time and if i want to "bring someone home" i just aska freind to babysit at there place, its called kid swapping it really werks, and if you dont want to date a single mom thats fine too, just dont use her, be honest your not into it, | |
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| Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 11:26:24 AM | | cuterguy........... i believe wat princess wa ssayin g is that she can wait until her daughter is in bed, get a sitter ..go out.. come home and still be the mom in the morning.. and her daughter has not missed her.. | |
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