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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 8:36:58 PM | | An intelligent conversation is stimulating but you have to also be able to communicate with "emotional" intelligence. Intelligence is not only measured by an IQ. Example, a famous artist can create a masterpiece, yet may not be able to communicate on the same level as one with a high IQ. I define their intelligence as a "creative" intellect. You have a brilliant mind. If you have an "open mind" you will find you define intelligence in many different forms and are more accepting of those with a lesser intelligence. Good luck.. | |
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RitzNB
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 103 | |
| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 8:38:36 PM | RitzNB, maybe it's just something I don't want to hear about anymore?
^^^^^^^^
@ writingstar
I'm not sure what you meant by that comment. What is it that you don't want to hear about anymore? Is it something I said in particular or just the general feedback you received on this thread. I'd like to respond but I'm not sure what I'm suppose to respond to. Yikes !!!! | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 9:03:04 PM | ok I did the test on the page in a previous thread and im an ESFP. wooohooo. Now I love myself even more lol
ESFP
People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. Living for the moment, they love new experiences. They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others. Likely to be the center of attention in social situations. Well-developed common sense and practical ability.
Thats me in a nutshell all right, help help I'm trapped inside this nutshell lol | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 9:23:39 PM | ok this is me perfectly lol
http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP.html
now to find me an ISTJ (Duty- Fulfiller) or ISFJ (Nuturer). OMG, I can't beleive how dead on accurate this personality profiler is! And it says one of the best careers for me is an actor. Woohoo now I know I'm going to be famous lol | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 9:59:45 PM | | @writingstar...i admire your courage in posting your experience and in accepting all of the different opinions with grace and dignity...none of it was to brag or belittle anyone else...it's also not a competition...the intellect can be a roadblock to making emotional connections with men...small talk and dating elude me, and when dealing with fragile egos, i just don't grasp the whole physical beauty, flattery, attraction aspects very well...you're a gorgeous woman and it may seem foreign to operate on that plane...don't give up hope because there is a man out there who is right for you, and we all deserve to be happy... | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:00:22 PM | Dear Writtingstar.
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Let me give you an example of DUMB. The number of people on this site that have accused me of being arrogant, thinking I'm better than anyone, whatever, is mind blowing. I don't think of myself as better than anyone.
That's your interpretation. Because you think that anyone who makes those statements must be saying so because they want to put others down.
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^^^^ Sorry that is a false assumption. I didn't read everyone's post, the ones I did read I did not notice everyone saying they think that; you think, your better than everyone. (Not putting people down) I did notice people saying hey chill a little bit. Take it easy. Drop the numbers game. As for the false assumption. I don't think you want to put others down. Not one bit. I do think you have yourself held up higher on some kind of social structure which baised on who knows what and your communicating that you are in a different category of the human race than the rest of us people. Like your ahead of everyone else in life. In your eyes your not putting people down. The language behind the words and the way your sentences are formed into context is creating a negative outcome from your dialogue.
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In fact, one might just mention them in order to give a broader perspective of what the real problem is. If one withholds information like that, then accurate information doesn't come in. It's important to see the big picture - so I mentioned the fact that I was considered bright.
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^^^^ You can't be considered bright by telling people you are bright. Doing so and you will be considered DUMB in other's people eyes. Why? because you have attempted to force your thoughts to be taken as valid and make them become someone else's thoughts. You never aloud someone else to form their own opinion of you.
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Being intelligent has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. I'm well aware of that. Nor has it anything to do with ADD, being an INTJ, or being attractive. These are all aspects of the big picture. It was important to give the big picture in order to get balanced feedback.
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^^^^ Opposite of emotional intelligence = disturbed, In other words. Crack addicts, pedofiles, theifs, spose abusers etc. You need both
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For the record, the people most likely to accuse others of thinking that they are better than others, are the precise ones who are feeling inferior.
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^^^^ Someone feeling inferior is because they are being treated badly. One bad apple spoils the whole bunch.
I didn't do the reply like this to be harsh. Only to try and clear up assumptions and misinformation. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:13:28 PM | Can't resist commenting on ooomadolls post...I once dated a lawyer, with 3 degrees, 2 in law, one in literature, and the biggest compliment she would probably say I gave her was... "I love the fact I don't have to repeat myself with you, and I can use words with more than 2 syllables in them, without explaining what they mean" it was said in jest but...she took that as a very big compliment...which is how it was meant. In response, she loved the fact that we could spend so much time together, without ever getting bored of talking to me. So you see...compliments come in different forms sometimes, and she had more walls than Jericho...you know what though? The walls fell....and fast....meet the right guy and trust me, those walls of restraint will come crashing down, in Biblical fashion, and every bit of the pun intended!! | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:52:16 PM | @hervie1...thanks for your comments...you clearly had an intellectual, as well as a deeply emotional/physical connection with this woman...she was very lucky to have found you...to clarify, i don't have nearly the intellect of the OP, nor do i share her dislike for sex...also, i'm much more emotional...wow, you actually "got" her way of communicating and recognized her compliments, without the ego involved...that's beyond cool...my walls only go back up after i've been hurt, then in time, i start over... | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:53:16 PM | Well I really wanted to post something for writingstar after reading all the posts in this, but now it looks like she has departed. Oh well I'll try it anyway.
I am an INTJ as well and many of those traits you and others describe most definitely apply to me as well. I think I understand a lot of the issues facing you. I used to focus on my intelligence (I was Valedictorian of my high school, won hordes of awards, did very well in college). But I found out I just wasn't happy in doing so. The reason is explained by a lot of people here. By concentrating only on yourself all the time you denigrate the experiences and knowledge of others. Anybody, a lawyer or a garbage man (actually quite similar professions aren't they?) can contribute very very valuable information to your personal progression. I used to think I knew it all and that other people were always wrong and I had all the answers to everything. But like someone else said, it is that precise conception is what gets you into trouble, because then you stop learning. When comparing my intellectual abilities to my peers, I know they had gone downhill during the years I held those beliefs - my peers were gaining intelligence while I was losing it, thinking I had nothing further to learn. But I'm beginning to shed them to the best of my ability and I feel that I am beginning to grow once again. I've learned some new skills I never even considered I could attain, such as singing and playing piano, adding a spiritual component to my life, and approaching men and women with greater social graces. I should stress that this has helped me socialize with others. Every time I start getting into my head that I am better and more knowledgable than everyone else, I squelch those thoughts posthaste because they will only be to my detriment.
WritingStar, I hope you're not truly leaving as I think you could learn a lot by continuing to read and post here and elsewhere on POF. Don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to solve all the problems that drove you to start posting on this and other singles websites in a single day. I know you're smarter than that - perhaps a little naive. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/25/2005 11:56:47 PM |
and all of a sudden the guy will take my hand and say something like, "You've got beautiful eyes" or "You've got a lovely smile" or something...
I'll do that a) to be complimentary, b) see how well they recover. I like to know if they are willing to handle the compliment and if the conversation means enough to recover quickly.
Of course... being as I'm here, this may not be the right approach. But it is entertaining.
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| Stay awhile - we're just getting to know you!
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:54:43 AM | Hello Writingstar:
Please don't leave! You may have stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest, but it seems that people are learning about you and you admit that they have taught you something. You're perfectly entitled to be here, and you've updated your profile to make your motives a little clearer. It's inevitable that the first few days / weeks on POF may be a little awkward as you grow to understand the reasons that you are here and others grow to understand you. It seems like the later posts in this thread are warming to you. You are obviously an intelligent woman with the smarts to see that you must continue to grow and learn, also coming to terms with some new and important ideas in your life. Do stay! | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 4:40:25 AM | I'm sorry, writingstar but I'm going to have to give you a little "tough love". You say "Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?" This assertion is one of the BIG LIES of the dating world. The truth is that the average man would give his eye teeth for a woman who is both pretty and smart. This is what you claim to be so if you really are what you say you are then some man should have seen your value and taken you long ago.
But looking through your posts on this thread, I see that you actually admit to not giving men emotional intimacy. Men are going to want one of two things from you--sex or a LTR. Emotional intimacy is required for either one, so if you deny a man emotional intimacy you are broadcasting a message that you are "unreachable". In the old days men might be turned on by your "hard to get" act, but today's man will simply run away and look for a woman who will grant him a reasonable chance for success.
There has to be something else going on here that you aren't mentioning. I'm just not sure what it is. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 5:49:38 AM | In view of my changed perspectives and new understanding, I've changed my profile and would value the input of those who are objective and don't have an axe to grind. Afterwards, I will remove myself from this site for a while until I've the courage to come back.
Many thanks. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:08:48 AM | All of our lives have complexity...
All of our lives become so much more over time...
It is this "working of our souls" that solidifies our foundations for relationships and utimately provides validity for what we are searching for...
Writingstar,,, you have shared so much with so many here. It is a quality of yours that must be commended.
I hope you continue to question, continue to grow, continue to search for the answers that will provide for a more beautifully constructed life.
My Very Best Regards.
Ra  | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:26:33 AM | God...writingstar...you are not a woman...you are a machine...a computer!!
I have read all of your postings...and all I can conclude is..you have NO emotion...NO
normal HUMAN desires...urges...you seek mental stimulation...input...PERIOD!!
Loosen up...have some FUN...you sound like you just need to get laid!! Badly!!
Just a thought... | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:14:27 AM | Lasercar - and it's precisely because of judgmental, stupid people like you that I eventually decided not to relate emotionally to men.. No, I do not badly need to get laid. Men who think with their**** seem to think it's the only think that's the fundamental issue in life. And that it cures all illnesses. I got very hurt because I couldn't imagine that a human being could think with a**** Many women told me that they did. I didn't believe them, but now I know that certain men do. You're obviously one of them.
You also obviously didn't read my new profile in which I make it quite clear that I feel things intensely - but for reasons written there - cannot and do not do it instantly.
What I have - and you lack - is the ability to control the pain and hurt that people like you inflict on me with your careless words. I don't show it to you because I will not give you the pleasure that you so obviously seek.
I've often wondered why it is that people like you respond the way you do. I've arrived at the conclusion that because you cannot touch people intellectually, if someone takes away your ability to touch them physically or emotionally, you're lost. So you resort to insults and hurtful remarks. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:36:00 AM | Writingstar, I read your new profile...and I think it's very sweet...I'm sorry that the majority of experiences you've had are with men who just wanted to get you in bed, right off the bat...not all men will love you and leave you...You talk about being emotionally handicapped, sweetie, that's something we all have to explore at our own pace, and sometimes, we all let our emotions carry us away and end up getting hurt...it happens, we have to deal with it as best we can...but that doesn't mean closing yourself off to the possibilities until long, slow and deliberate consideration has been given...feelings and emotions by nature are spontaneous, you can't plan on them, you can't make them happen, they just do or they don't...sometimes maybe you just need to figure out what it is your feeling, when you feel it. Don't hold it all back and slowly go over it...just let it flow through you...enjoy the moment, doesn't mean you have to sleep with anyone, but allow us men to bond with you emotionally, as well as intellectually, and the physical comes all by itself...my heart goes out to you, I believe you're a good and decent lady, who perhaps, through no fault of her own, has difficulty ackowledging her feelings and emotions, and that can change in time...putting restrictions, barriers or limits on anything doesn't help. Sometimes it's best not to think...and just feel...sometimes it's truely wonderful^^
I wish you all the best.
Herve | |
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