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RitzNB
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 154 | |
| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/26/2005 10:56:15 PM | @ writingstar
I read your new profile and got to see another side to you. Your new profile is so much better. It shows your human side and not just a lady with a high IQ. I cannot relate to your medical problems so perhaps I was too hard on you in my previous posts. I haven't led your life or walked in your shoes. Having read your updated profile I think you probably are a nice lady after all. I guess I owe you an apology. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 2:48:11 AM | No, nomo, this thread did not start with the assertion that 'Men do not like intelligent women'. It started with, "One of the things that really surprises me is the number of men who can't have a decent conversation."
It was your interpretation of it that led you to believe that I said men do not like intelligent women. I'm very aware that men do like intelligent women because I'm constantly asked out and many men comment on it. And it does not put them off. What I was commenting on was their desire to interrupt a conversation with trivia.
Also, the email you sent me gave me a big lecture about I will never find a man if I chose not to relate emotionally. Again, that was your interpretation of what I was asking. No where do I say in my post that I wanted to find a man. I wanted to understand their behavior, not find a man.
I wasn't upset about not being able to find a man. I've accepted for quite a while that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. What I'm upset about is spending time with a man because he said he found me interesting (as opposed to sexy) and that I thought that this meant platonic, and then start getting signals this his interest is more than platonic.
I blocked you because the tone of your email to me was that of a lecture to a three year old who doesn't comprehend basics. I really don't need to be lectured to.
Apart from that, it might help if you understood what I was saying before you dispensed advice. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 3:16:17 AM | Ever thought that maybe the male mind is inept in providing much in terms of intelligent conversation? From conversing with many of my own sex, I find it is sadly true; we are doomed at providing intellect, period. Male intellect is dead, and has become an oxymoron like military intelligence. The proof lies around us; look at the people in power around the world; look at the men young men admire; look at the average amount of knowledge that men in North America posses. All evidence points to towards one conclusion: We men are growing less intelligent every generation; oh well, great loss there…
There is hope; however, few of us want to be able to say more in a conversation then what happened on the last episode of the Trailer Park Boys, or the great performance of this year’s Spurs team. These few gents remain hidden and shall pop up from time to time; just look for them, for they may be looking for you…
I do not know what level of intelligence I have, but I am hoping it is (much) higher than the average. If I ever find someone who I can spend my life living with, I would much rather spend it with someone who I can converse with on many different subjects… | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:17:56 AM | @writingstar
The title of your thread which you started is
Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it? If that is not a complaint about men running away from you then I don't know what is.
You did not say in your title "interrupt with trivia", you said RUN AWAY. When phrased in that manner it comes across as a claim that men don't like intelligent women. My point was to expose this as one of the big lies of the dating/relationship world.
I've accepted for quite a while that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Wow! You have so eloquently expressed a defeatist attitude.
Good luck to both you and any man who strays into your world. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:40:05 AM | Writing after taking a look at the man in question's profile (not hervie), I would say you're right on. For someone who's supposedly a teacher, doesn't show much understanding. I'm wondering how much reading was actually done, of your profile or about your conditon.
Anyway, good decision. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:44:07 AM | I have a great need to step in here and provide information on interpretation and use of the MBTI. (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)
It is an instrument by which any person may learn more about his/her preferences in dealing with the environment in which he/she exists.
The first indicator shows preferences for 'looking' at that environment:
E (Extrovert) 10 - - - - - - - - - 0 - - - - - - - - - 10 I (Introvert)
The Extrovert prefers the environment of people and things.
The Introvert prefers the environment of concepts and ideas.
Whether you are an Extrovert or Introvert (by the answers given on the instrument) is reflected by a "point" on the "scale" indicated above. The "point" on the left or right of the '0' indicates the degree (1 through 10) of your Extroversion or Introversion Preference.
Extroverts are not necessarily "party animals" and Introverts are not necessarily "hermits".
The closer your "point" is to '0', the more a change in your environment will affect your preference. This will be true for the rest of the indicators as well.
The second indicator shows your preferred method of gathering information from your environment :
S (Senses) 10 - - - - - - - - - 0 - - - - - - - - - 10 N (Intuition)
The "sensing" person prefers to gather information through the physical senses (Sight, Hearing, Touch, Smell ...). To the 'degree' (1-10) this person will ignore all input that is not verified by the senses.
The "intuitive' person prefers to gather information in a more or less 'subjective' manner. To the 'degree' (1-10) this person will ignore input from the senses in favor of his/her own subjective criteria.
The closer your "point" is to '0', the more a specific 'situation' will affect your preference.
The third indicator shows your preferred method of processing the information gathered:
T (Thinking) 10 - - - - - - - - - 0 - - - - - - - - - 10 F (Feeling)
The "thinking" person prefers to use logic or generally accepted procedures (on the scale of 1-10) to processing the information. (Mr. Spock comes to mind ... for all you "trekkies.)
The "feeling" person prefers to use emotions to process the information. Common statements such as, "I don't like this." or " Just because I said so." come to mind.
The closer your "point" is to '0', the more a specific 'situation' will affect your preference.
The fourth indicator shows your preferred method of action, based on all of the above processes:
J (Judgement) 10 - - - - - - - - - 0 - - - - - - - - - 10 P (Perceptive)
The "judgement" person moves to reach a conclusion quickly and move on to the next agenda.
The "perceptive" person will want to gather more data for examination before coming to a conclusion.
The closer your "point" is to '0', the more a specific 'situation' will affect your preference.
The MBTI is NOT a 'compatability' instrument.
It was designed to provide the individual with an insight to his/her personality and (in a full analysis) guide the person to an appreciation of his/her uniqueness and give strategies for effective interpersonal relations and group development.
There is no "best" Type. Although, correlation studies have been done, I would rate them all with studies such as "the positive correlation of shoe size to intelligence".
It is, imo, the most effective instrument of its kind and has withstood over 50 years of validation.
Sarge... an "extreme" INTP
Addendum: There is only one MBTI and that one is 'approved' by the American Psychological Association and the persons administering the instrument must be approved by the APA to do so. I'm aware of the many "Internet" clones. | |
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| Forgive me for saying it...
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:08:18 AM | "I'm aware that I'm in the top 1% (brainswise)"
but you sound WAAAAY too impressed with yourself. One of the kind of women I posted about in some other related threads here. A glorious future isn't written in stone for anyone just because they're smart. I had a sister who was very smart too--and she ended up alone, dead broke, and at the end homeless but for the charity of her familly. Intelligence isn't everything. In fact, in some cases, it isn't much of anything.
The above quote is both inane and irritating. If it's true, it will become readily apparent in the normal course of a relationship. I like smart women, and I think most men do. But I don't want to be beat over the head with it, and I believe most men feel the same way.
I think you need to get off your high horse and maybe LISTEN to what us stupid, unwashed, gauche men say once in awhile instead of trying to impress them with your intellect and erudition. Nobody like a smartass, and your complaint could leave one with that impression. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:33:48 AM | @bucsgirl
REALITY CHECK
writingstar's profile was offline during much of the time in question, so I based my comments on her overall posts, plus the title of her thread.
Yes I read her comments, as well as recent updates she has posted, and none of it is very persuasive.
@Artanaxes
Thank you for having some balls. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 165 | |
| Forgive me for saying it...
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:35:00 AM | Writingstar , I am a little late in these postings , well yes guys would run away if all you do is talk about intellectual things in a serious tone as if getting the news , that is if you do that , I have a friend and we play chess together , we can play for 6 hours , and she can talk about quantam physics and new discoveries but while we do that we make eachother laugh insessantly , somethings maybe extremely childish but moents are to be savored in enjoyment . Maybe guys just do not enjoy serious talk too long .
Men see women as possiblities for a certian types of relationships when they meet them , we try hard and fail alot in this so any women that is contact with us we try to see beyond the platonic friendship , women do not realize how easy it is for them to get to know men and initialize relationships with them , for guys it is a constant battle , too many females want to be friends .
That is just my thought , personally , i love conversations , long ones , but like to be funny too .
You live in San Diego , I live here also , maybe we can have a conversation and let you know where you stand on the answer to you initial question . e-mail me if you are interested. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:51:33 AM | There is a difference between "using" your brain, and "flaunting" your brain.
Using it entails making observations, having a conversation, processing his opinions, offering your own, etc.
Flaunting it is just showing off how much you know (eg. throwing extremely obscure words into conversations, being a smartass, etc).
You can definitely be smart without alienating people (by flaunting your intellect) - which, unfortunately, some overly intelligent people tend to do without even realizing it.
Maria XOXO | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 11:46:14 AM | Well!!! LOTS of interesting info here...Thanks for clearing that up Oldsarge, I'd forgotten a LOT of that stuff...
Artana..., you're RIGHT ON!!! Actually the MAJORITY of "geniuses" are underemployed, and living below the poverty level, not to MENTION that many end up with psych problems ranging from the mild or moderate, to more severe...
This is an interesting topic Writing...I KNOW that you're a smart cookie...I've debated with you before and was astonished at your ability to delve into a topic with such a degree of intensity, as I , myself, am wont to do...
As I think I understand your original situation, I have found myself in places and with people who have done something similar, and I KNOW that when I'm in the "groove"...It can be REALLY annoying, even if it's a lovely compliment...
You KNOW when it's an attempt to "distract" you from your train of thought, maybe in an attempt to "lighten things up", cause it comes off as the equivalent of an adult shaking a set of keys in front of the face of a small child, who won't stop crying!!!
I've personally had to learn that the majority of people really just AREN'T that interested in going into ANY topic as in-depth as myself...I'm kinda like a Pittbull that way!! Have a tendancy to explore EVERY LITTLE NUANCE of a subject, talking it to "death" so to speak, before feeling okay about moving on to the next!!!
Anyway, NOT saying that's what YOU'RE doing!!! Just relating to your story...
I've also had to learn how to ..."adjust" my approach depending on who I'm talking with...But I've FINALLY found a man who's is as smart,(if not MORE so!!!) than myself...And we have many common interests and ways and means of expressing ourselves as well as conversational styles...I have learned that sometimes though, it's really just about the fact that one person is in "the mood" for intensity of discourse...While the other is NOT!!!
Anyway, As much as I value my intellect, I have learned, with age and some experience, how to maintain a balance in ALL things...And that while brains ARE sexy to MANY men, A little SKIN goes a LONG way!!!
If you're NOT looking for a primary relationship, however, then I can see how it might be disturbing to have men approach you that way...But perhaps there's some more clarity required before you arrive at that "stage" where they might logically expect that there would be some kind of progression to the "next level"?
Something to think about, maybe...Good luck!!! Dee | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 12:34:20 PM | alot of men arnt looking for a relationship built on intelligent conversations, alot are looking for a quick one,
also guy or girl when you over do it with showing your intellect and not enough showing other aspects of yourself you can ruin the mood, make it seem like you just want to talk and never progress to other things, | |
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7times
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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 171 | |
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modine
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Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 172 | |
| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/27/2005 12:47:27 PM | | WritingStar: the problem is that most men aren't into smart women and those who are are smart enough to be selective. That said, they probably aren't on this website. They are on the most exclusive golf courses and dining in the most exclusive restaurants seeking single women noted by their millionaire buddies. | |
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MikeJ
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Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 173 | |
| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 6/29/2005 3:04:20 AM | I can't believe people are disputing that she's full of herself (or at least presenting herself that way). Although in hindsight, after she felt the need to PM me to explain how the problem I'm just too stupid to understand what she's saying I figure maybe she's just extremely insecure and hides behind intellecutal elitism.
Which is cool. But she's dishonest, which is not cool. | |
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| Why do men run a mile from a girl with a brain and a yen for using it?
Posted: 7/11/2005 11:33:51 PM | Dang!
This gal is at the bottom of the scrum and it ain't lookin very pretty. Poor thang.
I figger she's got a couple options.
1) See if Stephen Hawkings is available (and he won't reach for your booty, 'lessen he's developed some sort of clean room manipulating arm at the end of his wheel chair.)
She won't have to worry that icky, boy-germ infested, poke-poke-poking action of THINGY.
2) If ya can't beat the idiots, join them by dramatically killing off a lot of brain cells.
Again, you can pick yer poison:
- endless shots of Jack Daniels with an Old Granddad chaser - drink - puke - repeat;
- car fumes, oven cleaner, but be careful -- you just want to get dumb enough to hold the attention of that linebacker you'd been talking to, not end up pushing up daisies;
- ball peen hammer. You might need a trusted friend to do the phrenological makeover. Folks tend to chicken out after the first one or two pings.
3) Last I heard, international chess champion Bobby Fischer is cooling his heels in Iceland after his catch-and-release adventure in Japan. Smart? International? Captive audience?
Perfect! | |
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