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Posted: 2/5/2009 10:10:02 AM | There is nothing wrong with what you are looking for! They are just not looking for those same things!!
Personally, I never look! Its way to exhausting!! | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 10:28:31 AM | And before I keep going on and on about it. If you're recently separated and trying to sort out the emotional stuff, you should be consulting your female friends, not looking for another guys shoulder to cry on. You don't belong on a dating site looking for "male friends". If you're not ready to date, you don't belong here. Just my experience based opinion.
See, this is why many guys including myself sometimes still almost "buy-into" this notion that you women just don't know how, when and why you're hurting us. It's like you take no responsibility for the way you react to your own emotions. "Awww poor woman ran down a bunch of 5 yr old school kids in her car because her man just broke-up with her and she's emotionally distraught" Boo friggin hoo - wahhhh. I say death penalty! Let her ride the lightning like any other cold blooded murderer. Men don't get away with that sh_t. If men react in the wrong way to our emotions causing emotional or real harm to others, we face consequences. Then we don't do it again, because we learned it was wrong and because we don't want the consequences.
Mike | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 12:44:39 PM | Sounds like we have a few angry posters today!
I have a few golden rules of dating I go by. FIRST, never date a separated woman, and I've been ****ed out about that twice. The first one I just deleted, second one kept hounding....so, I said hey look, you've got some unfinished business, why should I meet you, maybe fall for you (even deeply) just to take the chance of hearing those words "my husband and I have decided to try and work it out". No chance for me!
Second, I don't date women without a picture, or has alot of responses in their profile like yours! There is absolutely nothing in your profile that tells me anything about you accept in the two comment sections.....and in your last, hell, I wouldn't even email someone with comments like those.
Second, nothing wrong with the words you used, BUT, aren't those things that we should all give to one another? I've asked the same question, and never heard those as a response, but it would be OK with me, I'd just have to clarify a few other things like well, I hope you're looking for a monogamous relationship, a future with someone ,etc.
With one exception...integrity...I think that word is used to losely in the dating world.Two dates I went on the ladies pictures were at least 10 years old, and they had certainly put on a heckava lot of weight since those photo's. Is that "integrity", or, in this day and age (and I admit I'm a little old fashioned) but why is it when a man agrees to meet a lady for a dinner date....it's all on his dime! Out of two dozen or more dates, I've only had a few, 3-4 offer to pay half, not that I accepted, but at least those ladies had integrity! And most nice dinners run $100. or more.
And whether some of you ladies believe it or not....there are nice guys out there that not only talk the talk, but walk the walk.
WOW, did I say all that! | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 2:18:36 PM | Wow, I think MIke is in need of some Midol too.
OP you are misreading the question.
They want to know what kind of friendship you are looking for: sexual, hanging out, activity partner, drinking buddy, email, IM chat, what have you. In other words, what do you want to do with your friend?
Those qualities are great, but throwing them at a guy in an intial contact email or IM conversation tends to paralyze said guy. It's kind of like using a stun gun in a handshake. | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 2:36:34 PM | I hope you don’t let those few shallow men push you away from the forums. Apparently they are still clinging to bitterness from past hurts. Your question was fair, and there is nothing wrong with your profile. And if people are so self-absorbed that they can’t imagine why someone may not want to post a picture, or share one at first contact, then they won’t do well in a relationship anyway.
I noticed many posters pointing out that the answer was vague, and I think that is a fair point. It does surprise me though that nobody mentioned that the question was equally vague. In a face to face encounter the most likely result would be continued conversation. On the phone? Again, more conversation. But here in cyberland it’s a little harder to get the conversation going. We need to keep our guard up a bit until we start feeling a certain level of trust.
I’ve been on my own for over ten yrs now, and one thing I learned long ago, is to look within for things like respect, compassion, and integrity. I think if you really feel those things for yourself you will draw like people to you. My answer to the question, “What are you looking for?”, would be “Inspiration”.
I think BBW2 may have a point, too. | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 2:56:48 PM | | Here's the problem with your list. Cliche, cliche, cliche. And not even a good cliche, but after making a mental image of your list all I can think of is Mother Teresa. If I had an erection and the image of Mother Teresa came to my mind. I would lose my erection and would never be able to see that woman in the same light. | |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 3:02:45 PM | I dont think your seeking anything that no one else is seeking. If they have to ask...
Maybe its a communication break down. | |
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