| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 6:52:31 AM | | The vast majority of my first dates / meetings have lasted at least 1 hour. I think an hour is reasonable. I don't like the extremely brief coffee dates because I often can't tell how much interest I have in a woman after just 15-20 minutes. On the other hand after an hour I could either extend the date or end it depending on how well the date is going. I wouldn't have to spend multiple hours with someone I'm not interested in. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 6:52:36 AM | | i disagree, you should both know if its feeling good, and neither of you wants to leave, there is nothing wrong with making it last. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 6:55:21 AM |
Maybe they were too polite to tell you they wanted to leave.
Maybe you were too polite and let the meeting prolonge too much.
Definitely a first meeting should be no longer than 45mins to an hour
The "first meets" I have had on here were all longer than 45 minutes; shortest was almost 2 hours, longest was over four. All involved a walk/hike, with a pub/eatery somewhere along the path.
I did choose the "venue" each time, but always picked a place with options. All were afternoons. I kinda think these first encounters should be open-ended (fortunately, I haven't run into to the women who schedule/stack several firsts in a time slot. I don't think choosing a venue that dictates how much time you might spend together is a good idea.
All of them flowed into subsequent "dates", but, then, all ultimately fizzled.
I've enjoyed each experience, some more than others depending upon my guest, and they all lasted that long because, well, as my teen-aged daughter used to say, "we were just talking". Lol
It never occurred to me that any stayed for the duration because they were being polite.   Maybe I need to be looking for that. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 8:38:03 AM | I agree. Usually I set a time limit for the first date. I may NOT tell her nor will I look at the proverbial "clock." But as we appraoch what I deem reasonable, I will start to close out the evening.
Often people do not know how to end a 1st Date so they will "put up" with the time. So as a gentleman, I close it out and express whether I'd like to see/her from her again or not. I do however, call ONCE. after that, it is left totally up to the lady to accept another date or not.
Nothing more miserable than a MAN asking twice for the same thing, hahaha
Thanks | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:31:37 AM | She never did call back. I guess you just have to play by the rules. I would've called her back, I just didn't want to.
you didn't want to? well that's a rather stupid attitude to have. why bother to date at all then?? you should have called her, not the other way around. your loss, i'm sure she is with someone better now. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/6/2009 11:15:51 AM | | 1st meeting unless a significant distance has been traveled to reach the "meeting" should be no longer than an hour at most. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/11/2009 6:19:57 PM | Guess I'm in the minority. I don't "meet" anyone I wouldn't consider dating long term so I don't see a problem with planning a long first date.
That said, some of my longest first dates were planned as coffee and then extended and extended and extended. One went for about 7 hrs, another for about 11 hrs. No sex involved (get yer minds outta the gutter folks ;-). We went from coffee to drinks to dinner to more drinks to a quiet place to keep talking.
Had a few more dates with the 7-hr guy before deciding not to see him anymore. Stopped dating/became friends only 11-hr first date guy because I met my fishie and have been done fishing since then. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:48:28 AM | I had a three day weekend that turned into a five day get together, but I had known the guy for almost three years. Would I necessarily recommend this to someone else? No. Did our meeting go well? Absolutely yes. I had a few things in my favor that not everyone does though. We had talked vocally all that time. We knew exactly what the other looked like. I live with my family still so I was not alone. We planned our time together which took away the amount of awkwardness when we very first met. (As for why it was that long? He drove 8 hours to get here. And there was a massive snowstorm that kept us snowbound, lol.)
On the other end of the fence, I don't get the whole coffee thing. A date that is the length of a job interview at McDonalds is going to tell you the amount of information you'd need to hire someone for McDonalds, not how much you'd need to know if you want to see the person again. (At least for me.) At the same time, having a way to cut the event short if something is hideously wrong (dude is self centered or racist, for example) is a good idea.
As for your perticular situation I am not 100% sure what the culprit was but there are a lot of valid suggestions here. It sucks when someone does the disappearing act or gives false hope, but that is their own issue, not to necessarily do with the length of the date. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:54:21 AM | I hate all these "rules" people make up. If you meet with someone and things seem to be going well and you are both enjoying things who cares how long the date lasts.
I don't go on a date thinking "right I need to start the stopwatch and leave in an hour"
Now if you are talking and things to talk about just dry up then fine but as I say if ya both still chilled out and having fun why rush to end it. I think all the "rules" ,"dos and don'ts" and "games" people impose or read in the womens mags are what spoil some relationships/dates because people think they can't do this or that etc. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 8:22:37 AM | There are no rules as far as time frame!
My date last weekend lasted five hours! Met for coffee, were having a great time, then went for lunch! We've talked or emailed all week and are going out again Sunday! We even talked about chemistry, we both felt it!
I've had others that lasted 1-4 hours. Each meeting or date is different, and both will know if they want it to last longer...or shorter! | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 8:34:40 AM | Ahh the first meet should conclude whenever one, or both parties feel satisfied.
At times when I was meeting/greeting, some dates would last three, four, or five hours and others a mere fifteen minutes.
Hey, life is an adventure and if I were on a date where I was, at the very least, having a good time then it should hold no limitations on the amount of time invested.
So what if this is the only time we actually meet? I don't hold another responsible for how I handle my feelings on this meet. I usually have had a wonderful time, met a person who made me laugh for a moment, and allowed me to get out of the house and partake of the night life.
Carpe Diem! | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:50:18 AM | Many explanations....it really all depends on the person and their situation.
I understand the confusion though as when a date is awkward...you both know it and it is kind of understood that a second one won't happen but if it seemed good or even great....then nothing...you have no closure.
It's tough but what can we do but move on....the person did not want us...why fret over them. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:56:36 AM | | I dont mind a long meet,if the other person can keep up the conversation. If I have to do all the talking,I make it a short meet.Even If I have no intentions of not going back,will I be rude. Wouldnt want them to be rude,if they didnt care for me. Part of life. | |
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| Long first meetings
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:10:54 PM | | I agree. It's nice to know the person by talking to them first before meeting in person. Then you both will be feel comfortable about meeting, sharing dinner, time or and activitiy together and if a 4 to 5 hours outing together happens, then you both are in to each other. Anything less than that then I believe chemistry and interests in the person isnt really there. Kissing plays an important role in romance and it's an important factor in my book. Who wants romance without a kiss, anyway? | |
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