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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > talking on the phone.........he's on pof      Home login  
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 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 51
talking on the phone.........he's on pofPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You know, OP, he could have been on POF, you call, he talks to you while leaving POF open.

Because the "last time online" mechanism shows that he was on POF during that time doesn't mean he was surfing profiles or writing emails.

However, the fact that you would check is a bit disconcerting--if you get together, will you read his emails and track his whereabouts? The best thing to do is ask him what he was doing, but then, he will know you were checking on him.

Double jeopardy.

On the other hand, although you feel he is someone you really want to get to know, maybe he doesn't feel the same way. It's better you find out now.
 luciouskri
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 52
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 1:48:24 AM
isn't it possible that he was checking out you're profile while you two were talking?... how do you know that he was surfing? maybe he just wanted to see the pretty girl that he was conversing with?
 AIB07
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 53
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 4:48:59 AM
To the OP--

While you did not "out" this guy here per se, you seem a lot more concerned about his behavior than with your own. He was on PoF while talking with you....and? The point here has been made by enough people but it seems to me that your defensiveness over some of the replies (a good number by other women who were not in the least bit offended by this) is a bigger issue. Again, if a mutually exclusive relationship is formed and agreed to, I get that a certain amount of exclusive attention is needed. I guess what gets me here is why you didn't just talk to him about it. Why bring it here at all? If nothing else, this guy is probably wondering (and with good reason) if every little thing he does might be put up here for opinion gathering sessions.
 phatso
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 54
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:50:33 AM
I agree. He could have just been checking his email.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 55
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:01:10 AM
A man who can multi task...
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 56
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:30:00 AM
question: if you were chatting on the phone to someone you've met online and felt that the person was someone you really want to get to know better..........would it irritate you if you discover they had been surfing POF during your conversation on the phone? (by the "last time online" mechanism)
IF that were the case, Yes it would, however it would depend on whether it were a prearranged phone call or a spontaneous one. When I talk to someone on the phone I'm doing so to give them my undivided attention at the time so if it's prearranged they can plan on doing the same. For them not to cut out a small amount of time for trying to get to know you would tell me they're not that interested.
I'm not talking about someone I've known for a while who I happen to call during a time they're already on line or multi tasking but rather a prearranged phone call during the time I'm getting to know someone.

That's one of the reasons I no longer use my Yahoo Instant Messenger. If I were IMing with someone I'd make myself invisible to everyone else so I could concentrate on what they were saying and give them my time...one on one. For me to wait while they juggle conversations with several people at once was very annoying to me. Worse yet is when they would deny it or insist that they were so fast that they could answer everyone and no one could tell. Like Pie!!! I'm not slow in fact I'm quick to respond and could probably multi IM more quickly than most but I wouldn't do it because to me it was rude and I wouldn't treat anyone in any way other than how I wanted to be treated back. With them it was always obvious when they were multi IMing because of the delays to which I'd eventually say..."Let me know when you have time to talk one on one and if I'm available we'll chat then".

To me when I'm having a conversation with someone whether it's the phone, IM's or in person I'm going to be respectful to them, try to make it one on one and give them my undivided attention and would like the same respect back.

As far as the POF times go though, they're off by various amounts so don't accuse them of doing something they may not have been doing but rather base their attention on their responses. If you feel they weren't paying attention or were drifting elsewhere you can tell them that when you talk to someone you're giving them your time which is precious to you so you can focus in on only them and would like for them to give you the same respect back. If they have something else to do during the short time you're getting to know them or you sense they're just bored of the conversation it's time to end it and/or reschedule it for another time IF either party even wants to try again.

 Asphalt_Cowboy6
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 57
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 4:58:22 PM
You give the impression that you two are an item. Have you told him this? He might like to know and maybe he will stop lookin!!
 rem42
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 58
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 7:54:03 PM
Not as bad as one who you start dating and he is on POF every day...! BTW, when can you expect a guy to get off? When you start dating regularly?
 xcentricheart
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 59
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:55:04 PM
Totally agree!

I usually do more than one thing at a time- - - -- I can watch tv/cook dinner/work crosswords and sudokos - while I am playing fetch with the doggie monster! Not that hard!
 kafirrr
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 60
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:20:54 PM

You give the impression that you two are an item. Have you told him this?


lol!
 widowedmom
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 61
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:14:42 PM
How do you know the person was not looking at your profile to remind him of things you said about yourself, and use it as a guide for things to talk about. I often will open a man's profile while chatting with someone new to see the things that interest him. It can provide some topics for discussion.

You could give the man the benefit of the doubt.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 62
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:37:17 PM
Hmmmm, is that the time he logged in or logged out? If he wasn't attentive on the phone (clearly), and THEN you saw that, sure, you could assume he was on during your conversation, I guess. Otherwise, don't sweat it.

And you don't know he was surfing POF at all. He could have checked out your profile, or was checking his normal email, got an alert, hopped on, checked out who it was, and logged off. Who knows. It doesn't show the duration.
 Athletic Lady
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 63
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:22:29 AM

Now you know him better.
If it was me? I would say that "He just wasn't that into me....".
I prefer a man with manners.


I agree. That's foul.
 joonya_
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 64
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:32:40 AM

would it irritate you if you discover they had been surfing POF during your conversation on the phone? (by the "last time online" mechanism)


Ummm..... You couldn't have known when his last login or status was unless YOU WERE ON IT TOO. So he rightfully should be irrated as well then, right?
 toyoux
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 65
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:55:24 AM
Joonya!! Tried to e-mail you about help with pic's.........but you don't accept from those without!! Oh........the irony!! Please reconsider!!

Back to our regularly scheduled post: I don't think the login status shows a time......does it? Maybe he's perpetually logged in to the forums?
 the.best.guy.ever
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 66
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:19:43 AM
Jeez look at all of you coming up with negative conclusions. Have you thought about what has been reiterated 100 times already. That he may just be on the forums, he may be emailing people on here he's just friends with (I have a couple I message once or twice a week just to say Hi and keep up), that you two are only just beginning to talk, and therefore he has no reason to drop this website at all unless you two have been going out for a while, that just maybe he's left your profile open, and IM'ing a chat buddy on yahoo or AIM or something else and that is what you're hearing?

I mean, I understand it's annoying when you're on the phone with someone and they are dividing their attention. But to assume automatically that he's messaging other women and be worried about it this early on, is not really necessary.

Which reminds me, I haven't heard from one of my email buddies on here in a couple of weeks... hmm...

Just a few thoughts.
 IluvChris
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 67
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:13:32 AM
As long as they carried on a conversation with me, I wouldn't care what they were doing. I don't understand why people on POF think that an email and a couple conversations = ownership to another. Hell it isn't even a relationship.....
 Icestorm
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 68
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/13/2009 11:19:48 AM
I think this was intended to be a post about giving a person your full attention while you are on the phone with them. And I would say, give them your full attention. When a person is on the phone and distracted by something (anything) else, it shows and it doesn't really leave a good impression. And impressions are important. If you don't believe that, go poke around in the Profile Review section.

It's different when you've know the person for awhile because they have context outside of that telephone conversation. When you've never met the person, all they have is the context of that phone conversation.

To those people who feel they successfully multi-task: Studies show that the more tasks you are simultaneously processing, the lower the quality of your performance of each, which is fine when you are throwing a dog a ball, watching tv, loading a dishwasher, and stirring something on the stove now and then. Who cares? Good enough is good enough. But that might not be good enough when you are on the phone wanting to pique someone's interest enough in you to meet, possibly date and ultimately, god willing, have sex with you.

The particular annoyance to the OP seems to be that the distraction to the guy was that he was on POF. I think that's really an irrelevant point but I can see how it exacerbated her annoyance.
 shawney9999
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 69
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:24:06 AM
I have talked on the phone with a few people here and most of them are on here daily...they get emails daily, as do most people on here. It's human nature to be curious, we all do it! If you actually MEET someone and feel there is a connection and things seem to be progressing then it might be time to not be on here any longer but until then, what's the difference??
 heavensentmexx
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 70
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:35:37 AM
babe if he is doing something you dont like.... tell him ... if he doesnt want to listen ... he isnt for you... simple .... xxxx
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 71
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:56:46 AM

would it irritate you if you discover they had been surfing POF during your conversation on the phone? (by the "last time online" mechanism)

Nope. My former and I would be on the phone and often times we'd be sending email back and forth via POF while talking.

~OP~ You haven't met yet. It's probably wise to keep your own options open since you really never know what a real-life meeting may or may not produce. JMO
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 72
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:29:37 AM

~OP~ You haven't met yet. It's probably wise to keep your own options open since you really never know what a real-life meeting may or may not produce. JMO


I guess He just wasn't really that in to her...
 Goodbye_Girl
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 73
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:17:09 AM
question: if you were chatting on the phone to someone you've met online and felt that the person was someone you really want to get to know better..........would it irritate you if you discover they had been surfing POF during your conversation on the phone? (by the "last time online" mechanism)

Too Funny OP.... How do you know that he was not online sweetly looking at YOUR profile while talking to you on the phone?
Personally, I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill and you need to chill out. To be honest, if I were the guy in question, I would be running as far away from you as possible. Jealousy and possessiveness is not an attractive trait, especially if you haven't even MET yet!!
Jmho...
Editvvvv @ poster below.... I stand by my opinion . He could have had the profile open in one "Tab" been typing a letter to a friend in another, who cares. At this early stage in the game, she has no right to question him or judge him.
The main point I am trying to make is they were not DATING! They had just met online and were talking on the phone. For her to pass judgement on the guy in question and then instead of talking to him about it, posts her gripe on the forums, shows me that she has a possessive streak in her and is a poor communicator. In my opinion, I would find that trait very unattractive if I were a man.
 ApplePieFacePlant
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 74
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:55:34 AM
Hmm.
Being logged on while talking to you is one thing, typing to someone else while talking to you is quite another. I consider typing to someone else while talking on the phone to another akin to eating and chewing in your ear. Just a question of manners.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 75
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:50:34 AM
I don't see what the problem is. When I'm making love to a woman I'm often watching the stock market numbers on t.v., adjusting the angle of my camera, trying on new shoes and giving the dog a bath. It doesn't mean love-making isn't my main focus. Can't a guy be allowed to perform more than one task at a time?
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