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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What does he really mean when he says "I'm scared"??      Home login  
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 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 26
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What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
It means he is not ready for whatever YOU want.
 CuppyCake®
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 27
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/1/2009 10:43:01 PM
It means he is not ready for a relationship with YOU.

A guy I really liked told me once his work was the only important thing in his life and he can't be in a relationship with anyone at all. Two weeks later, he was back with his ex-gf whom he broke up with 2 months before.

Believe me, when a guy tells you something like that, take it as it is and run away.
 mopar123
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 28
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/1/2009 11:24:32 PM
Just a shot in the dark here.......................................maybe he's scared???
 jakeya99
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 29
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 5:15:47 AM
Tell him to be a man... G-Zuz!

"I'm scared" is often an excuse for not wanting to get into a committed relationship. Women can related because they often do feel scared so they give the guy some room/space. The truth is guys should never be scared of relationships or women. I mean come on now. He's scared? Buy him a blanky and some big-boy undies.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 30
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 5:41:38 AM
Even though OP has jumped overboard .....
My "guy" has said on two different occasions that he is scared; what does that really mean?
.....I would like to clarify what this means for future heartbreaks.
I'm scared simply means I don't want a relationship with YOU.....They can make up all the excuses in the world but, there is ALWAYS that bottom line!!!
 Chica Tequilla
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 31
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:02:31 AM
Geesh what a line : In response he, is feeding you ear candy to have his way. I'm really scared to move on, then don't. Some men just give these vunerable women enough to keep them coming. And what a pitiful thing she cheated on me, more poor me sympathy pathetic. Really You know it's a line of BS can smell it threw the screen. And 6 months, Oh your rebound lady, fix him so he can move on. If your into him for just dating do so but really I would not put much thought into it. Just my opinion
 1speshllady
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 32
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What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:29:30 AM
[Bust-ups are not that much fun for guys.

Gals often get the new dew - put the “I am woman watch me roar” CD on - shake it off like it never happened and ........ have another guy sniffing around on her all the the next 3 hours.

My "dump" (17 years with her) came right out of left field ....... nope - not much fun.]


wow
Ron....you sure do have all of us gals sized up......how did you know? You guys have the corner on fear/scared and hurt. Right? It's only the women that have someone sniffing around in 3 hrs or less after a bust-up. Right? WRONG!

It's you guys that get used, hurt the most and most often, right?....we gals-we just don't have that much feeling/morals/conscience. Or so you obviously think. Get the new "do"-maybe. Put on "I am woman watch me roar"-doubtful, at least NOT until we've memorized "I WILL SURVIVE" first and finally believe it!

I hope you also know all of what I just said is pure sarcasm. I go along better with "How do you mend a broken heart?" and want to know what is the correct answer to that question. One thing I do know-it's NOT by jumping into the first relationship you can find with whoever shows "interest". No matter what-TIME shows all intent and is the cure for broken hearts (albeit sometimes slow).

It's NEVER much fun being kicked to the curb whether it's "out of left field" or a known ending to something hoped for and enjoyed but just ran it's time out. Life just ain't fair sometimes or "free will" isn't always compatible with "hope/wants" of the "other party". It always takes 2-and sometimes 1 just gets distracted or bored or tired-dunno which...and it just ends. Whoever was doing the most hoping/loving is left to "pick up the pieces" and travel on. I believe it's never in someone's best interest/growth to try to feign a "don't care and it didn't hurt" attitude. Only way to get through it is to "go through it".

Let's just shake hands and agree that BOTH SIDES are guilty sometimes of being self-centered/selfish and hurt the other side. We won't go into the times that one person is just a "user" and couldn't for the life of them be honest, trustworthy and adult enough to handle relationship issues and not make excuses on why they can't. That's another "book".
 mackeyjones1968
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 33
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:57:04 AM
He is starting to invest his feelings and trust in you and he is scared that if he gets too close to you with his feelings he will loose you! He feels insecure in his relationship and hasnt quite learned to trust you or his own instincts again. Some men take infedlity very seriously because it is a betrayal of trust, and or they see it as a reflection on themselves i.e what does he have that I didnt have, makes them questions themselves. Not really that dissimilar to how a woman would feel I guess.
 mopar123
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 34
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:45:31 PM
I'll clarify a bit, it doesn't always mean we don't want or can't have a relationship. It simply means we are getting those feelings of vulnerability, are feeling exposed and it is scary. But that's the risk we take and the choice we make when we decide to give it a shot now isn't it?? I'd rather feel exposed, vulnerable and scared than feel all comfy and safe and never ever give someone a chance. Just my own two cents and is not intended to reflect the views of a gender or group...............................just me.
Mopar madness
 forumologist
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 35
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 9:03:09 PM
Give him a blankey and a soother

Honestly, I rarely meet men who have been burned that have gotten over it - they just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

OMG - ten years later most guys are STILL going on and on and on and on about how she done them wrong

Don't tell me it's not true - we all know these guys - all whine and no shine

I was going to say be sympathetic and understanding but on the other hand you could just smile and say "suck it up princess - I'm not HER"

ok give him a hug

or better yet - a blow job - now THAT will show him you're not her

sorry just ignore me

but you have to admit...the bit about guys going on and on and on and on (lol sigh) is so true (poor weak little babies, there there diddums)

ok I'll go to bed now

you could tell him to quit whining or you'll give him something to cry about

I honestly am a nice person usually

just not on this topic

I've seen too many men shit all over good women - over and over - one after the next - because some other woman broke their heart

ok maybe women do it too

nah - they have their own peculiar psychosis but this isn't one of them


Ok, here's my best shot...

tell him (almost) everyone has been burned and we are all scared so just do the right thing and kiss and get along like you know you want to or...take a hike honey
 newloverofgolf!
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 36
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 9:03:27 PM
Watch the movie or read the book "He's Just Not That Into You." It might give you some insight. Good luck to you.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 37
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What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 10:29:43 PM
^^^ Naw, that'll just screw her up worse.

He's obviously scared because the OP is scary. To him at least. Duh. Somebody needs to give her lessons on how not to be scary, and then how to unfrighten him.
 Angel_n_Disguise
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 38
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What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 10:31:47 PM
Clearly, you've chosen to be the third wheel in his life. Not implicating you to be one of poor choices in men, but, he needs time to rid the past before he can move forward.

I hardly think his future includes you. Sounds hurtful and I know this seems cruel to say, but he was NEVER your guy otherwise, you could communicate with him more effectively as opposed to posting on a forum for answers...chalk it up for what is seems he is really saying, "He's not interested in you the same as you are/were him...give yourself time to get over him and then seek a man that is capable of fully commiting, which is what it seems you are seeking.
No need to be bitter or feel rejected, this is just a lesson in life. Better you know now that the remote possibility of sharing a future with this guy referred to as YOUR GUY, is not available. He needs time to heal from the past and learn to move on as time allows...he cannot do this with you.
In hindsight, you already know this and are exploring the idea of dating another man as you're on a dating site posting your confusion.
FYI-there are two emotions God did not give us, FEAR & CONFUSION... clear your head before further dating.
 ieee
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 39
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/2/2009 11:49:19 PM
Who is not scared when you have been stung once but life goes on and you need to learn from the past and move on .

What he may mean is I like the sex part lets just forget about the ring.
 Sunshine33066
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 40
What does he really mean when he says I'm scared??
Posted: 3/3/2009 6:08:30 AM
Arent we all alittle scared at the point when we think the relationship is turning to something more serious? Maybe not when we are 18 yrs old and in relationships, but if we're older, we've experience hurt from the break up....and there's a different kind of hurt and recovery time frame when the breakup was because of infidelity

At the time he's telling you that he's SCARED, i think he wants to hear some words of assurance from you...
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