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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:51:23 PM | | i know what you mean ,but you dont have the right to say that,this world is set-up for the women,child support the works,etc,man can even be a man any more from all the crap,i dont have 4 just one im happy,i love kids,maybe you should say something more about what makes a man.my little girl can pull a trigger and kill someone ,or a little boy a real man stick to what in front of him and take care of the kids as well as mum ,call me stupid,or call me kevin | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2005 6:34:34 AM | I always promised my kids that if a man came into 'our' lives.... that either he accepts ALL of us... or he gets none of us.
I'd welcome a man with kids! For a few reasons:
they know the time contraints that kids have on us
they understand that going to the drive in or movie most likely involves walt disney... or a kids movie of some sort till they fall asleep.. EVEN IF they do.
they understand that it is hard... and money is tight. So don't be asking to go out every freakin night!
Babysitting is expensive these days especially when grandparents are'nt around.. so men with kids don't ask... 'so... getting a sitter tonight'?
They understand that You can't just pick up and take off
I'm a single mom of three.... and run a business.... I'm busy! Single dads are just AS BUSY ....
respect from the kids has to come all the way around. I've always made sure that my kids know that this person is'nt moving in on us...that its just another 'friend' to hang with... my kids love new friends.. and adapt very easy. I'm very lucky that way. If something more comes of it.. we'll talk about it and see if everyone is happy about it.. if not.. we try to work things out.
We're a team.. and if someone does'nt like the fact that i have 'baggage'... then they don't get the honor to HANG with us....*s*
Good luck to You all.... its a tough world out there.. but there is someone out there for everyone!!
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2005 6:45:28 PM |
I have 4 boys, and just the number of kids is a turn off for most women. I have 5 kids, and I have had many men just look at me with their mouth hanging open...
Iv had several ladies tell me if I did not have kids, they would be all willing to go out, but they wont date guys with kids, or that have children in their lives. who have you been talking to? those women obviously still either have some major growing up to do or they are not the woman for you which would seem obvious... Come over to my neck of the woods..we can remake the Brady bunch..lol
To say somehting to the rest of the full-time Dad's it is because it is usually such a rarity to see Dad's taking on such a role. I am glad to see men assumming the role that we have for years, but let me say this.. there are plenty of dead-beat moms out there too. Women just get preferential treatment because they have the womb... Strange to hear this from a woman I know, but that is the way it is. I commend every single mom who busts her ass, with orwithout a partner, but I gotta commend the guys who bust their asses and don't get have custody of their kids, but keep busting their asses for the times they do get to see their kids. Full-time daddies are awesome... and I commend you as well, and I think that make you damn attractive. All attentive daddies are sexy... | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2005 7:28:19 PM | | Not really. I have two daughters (11 & 13) that I have raised by myself since they were 2 & 4. Their mom decided she just didn't like being a mom, I guess. Most women like to say they are looking for a nice, responsible guy, but it seems to me what they really want is a fantasy of a man with the body of a 20 year old bodybuilder, the money of a 60 year old doctor, and the brain of a fencepost! I find it sooo amusing to read profile of a woman who talks about soul mate, mature, dependable, etc. then puts that they are looking for someone between 18 - 30! Maturity??? Dependable??? I wish someone would prove me wrong, but this is the impression I have been getting. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:33:38 PM | | My problem is girls 18-22 usually don't want to even bother with a guy with kids... blah... i don't know... I am a responsible dad. But that's not very appealing to girls my age. Any guys or gals in their early 20's have advice? How do you go about approaching a girl and telling her you have a kid? | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:58:55 AM | | I agree with you Adensdad.Society still thinks children should be with the mother.Thats so wrong.I'am a single dad,with a 11 year-old son.He takes all my time,and I love it.I have a good job,but every so often I can get into finacial troubles,raising him.And theres know help for the single dads,for the mothers not a problem.Thats where the society has to change,because theres alot of ass-hole dads out there,but theres also mothers to.When i comes to the going out and meeting people.I get tired of explaining why,how come I have my son full-time.To me my son plays sports,I coach lot of his teams.I rather be,behind the bench whatching him score a goal.Then sitting there explaining why I have my son.If the shoe was on the other foot,nobody would sweet piss all.So for all ladies,that who dosn't except the idea,of single dads full-time.Suck it up princess,society is changing.Those are my thoughts of the day eastwing | |
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SSE
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Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2006 2:57:52 PM | I would personally love to meet some single dads.. being a single mum of 2 I am tired of the guys who tell me my kids arent a problem, but as soon as something crops up - they run to the hills. Hats off to all you single dads... yes there are the bum dads (my ex has never paid support!) I applaud your efforts.. and wish I knew some of you!!!! | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2006 4:30:37 PM | | I would love to meet a single dad, the problem I have had lately is that all the men of my age, are now ready to get married and settle down and have children. I do not want to have any more children, just a stress free life with a companion, who is my equal financially. The only men that hit on me nowadays are those in their early 30s for a no strings attached, parasites, who do not pay their way or men in their 50/60s, who behave thier age. I am a very young woman in her 40s, I still have years of adventure left in me. Tell me where single dads in California are, as I certainly have not met any | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:16:21 PM | I really haven’t had too much trouble meeting women that want relationships. Casual dating, however, would be a different story. ;)
This is my general take on the situation for single parents. It is by no means an absolute, but it would explain some of the patterns I’ve seen since I started dating again.
There have always been fundamental differences between men and women and what they want from each other. Men do not generally think long-term, while women do. While gross generalizations should not be made towards individuals, there are patterns.
Single fathers will generally attract less offers than single mothers, but the offers they do receive will be more serious. Because women think long-term when entering relationships they will asses the presence of the kids before making their decision.
Single mothers on the other hand will attract more offers, but they will be less likely to succeed long-term. Men generally think short-term and don’t consider what the kids will really mean to the relationship as it progresses.
Myself, I prefer to get involved with single mother, but I don’t rule out women that do not have kids. There are many women out there that simply don’t want to go through childbirth. There are also some alarming sterility statistics for North Americans where meeting a single father would be their best chance to experience motherhood. Some women may have also missed the train earlier in life due to circumstances, but would still like to experience having children in their lives. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 2/7/2006 4:20:33 PM | | In my case I had had no luck in the dating/relationship department since I became a single father 7 years ago. So far I have been told by all of the women that I have met, in my age group (mid 40's) that they are not interested in having to deal with young children (youngest is 4, oldest is 11) (My ex had the youngest by someone else and I adopted the priceless little girl). Or that they have no interest in dealing with 4 children. Oh I get kudo's up the yin yang for being the responsible parent, and how much they repsect me for doing what I consider the most important thing that I will ever face in life. I would consider younger women, but there is the stigma attached to that, being a cad etc. I have not and will not give up hope. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:41:29 PM | | Personally I think that single full time or even part time dads are great. I know that they can handle the responsiblility of raising children and thats not easy. When I man tells me that he is a father and that he has his children full time or that he does whatever he can for and with them my heart just melts. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 3/7/2006 9:53:31 PM | | Thanks for all the feedback. Personally, i've decided to just take it day 2 day and forget about anykind of relationship other than getting together so the kids can play kind of thing. Nothing worse than finding someone you like and seeing that it's impossible because of different values - no more brickwalls for me. Gotten too old for fantasy and faery tales. Aloha | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:26:04 PM | Hi All,
I'm not quite in the 'full time' boat yet - but will be soon (mum is moving away).
I haven't read all of this thread, but I'd just like to add a few bits...
Finding women with kids that just want to be friends is easy. I have so many friends/ contacts I don't know what to do with them!
Having said that, the dating part is a lot more tricky. Like Khama just said, If you get in a social situation and then they find out you have kids they shy off. Finding a single mum limits your choices even more.
You shouldn't get disheartened though. The dating game is all down to numbers...
Think of how many profiles you have looked at and then how many of those you 'really' wanted to meet (lets say 1 in every 20). Then you have the same from her side (1 in 20 so that's at least 400 potential dates you have to trawl through before you get a match. Even if you really hit it off, you still have the problems with the kids not getting on etc etc.
It might all sound a bit depressing but my point is that you have to put the dissapointments behind you and keep moving forward.
'ONE DAY SHE WILL COME MY WAY..' she will! You just have to keep keep the faith.
I don't regard my kids as baggage, I'm proud of them! If you want to be with me they come as part of the package. (mmm - that doesn't help either I guess).
The other probem I had was that my 'partner' could feel left out because my kids are always going to come first. Sme women understand this - others will expect you to do better (another 400 profiles please LOL).
For the record - No - I don't want another mum for my 2. Their mum is still around and they know who their parents are!
I get a lot of comments and geniune admiration from other mums because I kept my kids, hung on to my home and my career.
I'm frequently told that I'm very brave. It's nice to get recognition for the hard work I put into it but they are my kids and I'll never leave them.
Yeah - it can be hard work and very lonely at times but no one said being a parent was easy.
Socially we may be the exceptions but we should all be proud of ourselves.
keep smiling guys (even if you are crying! - LOL)
CF | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:22:36 PM | | I agree with you iceman. I'm go out and meet women they find out I have kids and it pretty much over. The ex is one of their big things. And another is they think a guy with kids don't want no more. And sometimes it not true. I love kids and want more than the 2 I have. I believe if they get to know me first before judging me, they will want to be with me. But they always know first my kids are my life and always will be. They can be part of it or take a walk. I will always be there for my kids no matter what. If they want the same for them. I figure they will stick and get to know us. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:58:44 AM | | I have more respect for all you single dad than you could know. If my daughter's father even breathed her name in her direction I would be ****ing amazed. So many times it is just assumed that the mother gets the kiddo for the week and daddy gets them on the weekend. Why is that? Well you guys are wonderful. It brings me hope to see men that care about thier kids. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:42:14 AM | It seems a few of us are in the same boat, and I have never heard of another similar case like mine before. Have my son 5 days a week, I have to pay 'her' $300 a month in support. Can't say my son and I didn't struggle over the years, but I own my house, and everything in it; My bouncy baby boy is now 17, and a great kid, very well mannered, and wouldn't hurt anyone, whether they deserve it or not.
I decided that I wouldn't date when he was about 4 or 5, and one girl I was seeing came over, and he had asked me if that was a new mom. Well, shortly there after that relationship ended, but that little comment always stuck in my head. I decided that he didn't need to see the dating scene at a young age. When he turned 16, he told me to go get a life, that he's OK to be by himself now, and doesn't need to be looked after (as much) anymore.
So I am currently seeking a single mom with 1 or 2 kids. The couple women that I have met have great kids, but, unfortunately, we didn't click, and we know it, and left it at that. I won't even bother trying to find a woman that doesn't have kids, since I don't want any more new borns at this stage, but am more than willing to help out with some that have been started - well I mean a woman looking to have kids maybe I should say (starting to dig a hole me thinks, so I'll leave it at that) | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/20/2006 10:45:21 AM | I know several, and other than one's long-term of about three years, and mostly because he found a woman waaaay beneath him and she knew and hung on and he hung because he was afraid there wouldn't be any one after-and he was right-.....well, the answer to your question is no. BUT THEN, I haven't known single mothers to have any real success either, unless you want to count a long term BAD relationship as successful.
The thing is, it's a HARD thing to do, just looking to date, even before dating. Then the dating gets confusing, am I seeing this just one person in this non-relationship and it's monogamous and exclusive because no one else is available, or are we a couple? Since we're not a couple, if I date, do the people I date feel cheated? Did I really just let these weirdo into my life, how did that happen? I'm head over heels but it's too soon to let them meet my kids. I know my family won't like this person, I know my kids can never meet them, I know this will go nowhere, but I'm having the time of my life. All this and more in dating as a single parent.
Set up the filters you are comfortable with. Find the rules that you can live by (such as hard line rules of when they can meet your kids) and, eventually, someone who respects your integrity and your values as a parents, and whom you can also respect, love and feel passion for, will be left with the urge to be with you for the rest of your life.
Gini | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/20/2006 10:52:19 AM | After reading a few more posts, I need to add, in my experience of watching my single dad friends go through women like water, the women repeatedly had no problem with the children, they ahd problem with the psycho connections to the ex wives. This tends to be a drama that drains the woman. Myself, my only dates became long term, five years a piece, and both were single dads. The nightmare of the ex still haunts me. Yet again, I find myself dating (please, *just* dating at this time, I'm not a couple and we both still go on daes with others, it's more like we're friends) a single father. And why are we not able to get past dating? His exwife, the kid, the drama, his plate is *so* full that his mind is always ont hat, his money is always on that, it's just a mess.
You might be upset at some women for running, but they maybe running from what I call the "evil omnipresent shadow of the woman before" and not you. She might be running because she's been drained by one of the vamps before and she hasn't enough blood left to satisfy the next one.
Gini | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/20/2006 1:09:10 PM | | I wish you well I have two kids it is not easy I just started looking to be honest and have found no luck with ones I have MET but I think I may have found one we just have not met yet but it looks very good. I laugh at the woman who do not want to date a man with kids what arogance considering most of those types have kids. And in my opinion KIDS have to come first until they are grown. | |
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