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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:38:31 PM |
sorry ladies but men always look younger.
Not in all cases. Stated words are too generalized.
women over 40...well they work...and can have sex.
Again, too generalized and might I add, a bit narrow on the end of what a woman over forty can have. There is adoption, there is marrying someone with children, there is a life chosen to be single that has more then work and sex if one choses, there is freaken freedom, to live it as she wishes too, which is priceless. Not only that, women are having babies up into their fifty's, go figure.
so red flag for a man...no. a woman...yes.
Sorry, but this is one mans opinion, who's been married by the way.
I don't red flag a man who's been married, so I don't expect to get red flagged for my status either. People are people, as long as they are good folks.  | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:28:44 AM | | I try never to let age or the fact that people have previously been married affect who i want to be with, however my mum being old fashioned and raised by nuns, has decided to make my life hell because of this. Though family are also the most important thing to me, so now for a happier life, i avoid people that have previously been married or had kids, NOT because i see them as damaged goods, but because of my mother and love for my family, and an easier life, and also my mothers idea on someone that isnt attached by my age never mind 40, if they were'nt gud enough for anyone else... theyre not good enough for my daughter...... it used to bother me. But i do my own thing in the end. Im 30 now, but i do be more weary about who i chose as a potential partner!! | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:30:22 PM | Very interesting post.
I did agree over 40 year old never married is a red flag, applies to both men and women.
That day I saw a personal ad for a 55 year old Chinese guy who never been married, who is a PhD and has a stable job for many years. Gees, all the responses by these Chinese are "What's wrong with that guy?" He's been looking for 25 + years and still not finding the "one". Is it red flag? Definitely!
Saw a research that if a man is not married by 40, chances of him getting married later in life is only about 10%. The truth is: as men who never married age, chances of getting married decline sharply, the same applies to the women.
For me, for men over 40, other things equal, I prefer divorced than never married. The chances are: divorced men were used to family life, while most never-married men are used to single, non-committing life. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:38:54 PM |
a man over 40 and still single with no kids...smart. a woman over 40, past child bearing age and not family oriented....not so smart. women have a shelf life unfortunately. sorry ladies but men always look younger. men are ready at 40...career is solidified, they have it together, they can marry a lot younger and start a family. women over 40...well they work...and can have sex. so red flag for a man...no. a woman...yes.
Partially true. It is much better for women to have kids before 40. Most people regret in their old age if they do not have kids. It's just human nature to have kids. So better do it earlier to get a relief.
The time span between men and women is probably 10 years. Maybe not that difficult for a man in the early 40s, but past 50 with no kid, no marriage, a man faces serious trouble finding a young woman to build a family. Most women are not willing to marry a too old guy, unless she has alternative motive, or the guy is super rich. But if a man is super rich, he can find young woman no matter how old he is. He could be 80 and there are 20 year old girl wants to marry him.
So some men don't be fooled, the time to wait is not unlimited to men either. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:23:20 AM | Over 40 never married red flag. Over 40 married more than once red flag. Woman with children red flag. Childless women red flag. Bachelors over 40 red flag. Men with no children red flag. Christians red flag. Conservatives/Republicans red flag. Men with too many interests/pics of motorcycles/family/fish/cars red flag. Women with pics of pets red flag. Women with pics of kids red flag. Women with pics of themselves w/friends red flag. Overly attractive people red flag (arrogant, conceited) underly attractive people red flag (desperate, pathetic, no one wants them so why would you?)Educated people red flag (think they're better than everyone else) Uneducated people red flag (stupid, uncultured.) Women with tit shots on their profiles red flag. Men with shirtless pics red flag.
I wonder why there's nobody on here for me to date?? | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:01:55 AM | Well paint me red because I'm about as red as you can get. I'll be 40 in 7 months and there has been a lot of non-traditional decisions I have made. Not only have I never been married, but I have never kissed anyone. The last real date I had (going to pick someone up, go out, drive her back home) was in 1994. The last resemblance of a date (meeting someone for dinner and then leaving) was in 2003. So am I a total loser? With women, you can go ahead and say yes, but this lifestyle has allowed me to do things I would not have been able to do.
I've been a homeowner since I was 25, raising enough money for the downpayment 1 1/2 years after paying off my college loan. I have been known to wake up in the morning, decide to leave to a different state that day, pack up and be out by early afternoon. I dabble in stocks, and if I make a bad decision, I have no one yelling at me about the lost money. I go to museums and can stay as long as I want reading anything and everything I want without anyone telling me to hurry up. I can go shopping at 3:30 am without having to deal with "Why are you leaving NOW?!??" inquiries. Heck, I am up at 4 am typing this note!
I have been able to commit a lot of time with my therapy dog, Mandy. A therapy dog is a trained dog that is allowed in nursing homes and hospitals and is completely calm in any environment. I am also free to take my three nieces on day trips anytime I want, and I can pursue any other interests like church related activities at any time.
I really enjoy this lifestyle. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to hold every now and then, but it's very rare that those thoughts get me down. It will take some REALLY special for me to give this up, but I do feel that it will happen when the time is right. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:59:21 PM | | Well, as a never married female a couple weeks short of 39, I'd like to offer up my 2 cents. (C'mon! I'm almost 40!) I'm holding out for the right guy. I'd rather be alone than wish I was. I've come to expect that anyone I go out with/am contacted by is going to be divorced. Us older unmarrieds are a rare breed! I would never exclude either sort from my dating pool. Rather than assuming the never married 40-something is an eternal batchelor, I like to hope he is of my mind set- holding out for the right person. :) | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:30:57 PM |
i don't know about a red flag or not. I know that some woman have told me that they think that there must be something wrong with a guy that is that old and never married.
I did read a study recently that said if a man is 40 or more years old and has never married, there was a 15% chance of him getting married.
As a man I dont think that is true for a 40 year old because he will be dating someone of still child rearing age. Once your in your late 40s and 50's theres no need for marrage because one considers less to have a family at that age, and the statistic is probably on for someone older than 45. I am 53, and past a practical age to be raising a family and children, although I like kids, I just dont want to devote the next 18 years bringing up a kid. I would be 71 by the time he graduated high school. So use your red flag if your intensions are to have kids. Men may not feel marrage is a needed once past child rearing age. I know I dont plan on marrying anyone but will date within my age range for companionship with someone I care for. So use your red flags and choose your age range appropriately if your intensions is to have kids. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:19:41 AM | | I don't view marriage as something one does when they are of child bearing age. I have always wanted to be married, even now when I am not in the child bearing years. My brother married for the first time at age 45 after dating his wife for 7 months. He and his wife have a seven year old daughter, and his wife is 8 years younger than him. I suppose he might have been attracted to her since she is younger, he and I have not discussed it. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:26:01 AM | What kind of red flag is it? Could mean the person made other choices, could mean that they never found the right person.
One thing though, I once helped a friend out with a job cleaning out an apartment of a person who had died. We were to box all of his stuff and send it to a storage place while his estate was in probate. He was never married and had few personal effects. He had no one to leave his stuff to. No one to morn his passing as he had become a shut in. So be proud you are independent and all that but don't close yourself off to the world and other people. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:36:20 AM | Not that any one solicited a response from me, but here is my .02
I am 43, single, and have had a few very long relationships with very wonderful women.
The last was 7yrs, she had 2 boys (whom I raised as their farther was AWOL for most of the time) I loved them all dearly. The fact is, I don't see the need to pull the trigger on marriage for the sake of being married. The relationship I was in was no different than a married couple, kids, schools, house payment, car payments, bank accounts, etc.
For me, it all boils down to whether or not you are happy, and happy with the relationship as it is. I see no reason to complicate things with a ceremony and a piece of paper that really don't change a thing.
Now I do understand that some think after a certain period of time, the next step is to get hitched...but why? Really....what changes? Does the other person LOVE you more? or differently?
With the divorce rate so high, are people REALLY making the right decision?
Just my .02.........
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/21/2009 9:08:27 AM | Yea... it's a RED FLAG for a woman to be 40 and over and NEVER married (or had kids) but "claimed" she wanted to but never met that "right" guy!! I bet she did a LOT of "dating" and "messing around" and passed up a decent guy(s) when she was in prime condition to get married IF she really wanted to. Most women like that are bitter, "been around" from "having fun" and time caught up with them!! They knock the HAPPILY married people by making stupid claims about the institution of marriage and make singlehood seem like a heaven sent expeirence because of their dumb choices in their younger years. Maybe the guys they wanted didn't want them for making bad choices and having bad attitudes.
They say " I rather be single and happy than MARRIED and miserable!" True words from washed up chicks that had their time and it passed them!! I rarely see those kind of women give props to the happily MARRIED people (and there are many of them too) but they have to validate their singlehood by bashing marriage!! I would take a chance on a divorced woman cuz they are nowhere as BITTER as those never been married women (at least a man WANTED to marry them)
For the fellas:
All these women out here (in spite of your bad relationships in the past) and u made it to 40 or over and NEVER married???? What kind of women were u all dating??? How u let SOOOOO much time passed u by?? I bet those women u all were with were trifling and u stayed with her for years instead of letting her go and find someone decent and those years went by!! I'm sure most guys on here could have found a DECENT woman by time they made 40 if they REALLY wanted to be married (I guess u all have that FANTASY list just like the women do too) It's sad to see MEN (with all the women in the country) to claim they wanted to be married but never found the RIGHT woman... Come on...u don't believe that crap yourselves...ha!!
Surround yourself around POSITIVE, HAPPILY MARRIED people and u won't have that issue (Oops...my bad...too late for the 40 something) Well u had ur chance. TIME waits on NO man (or woman) | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:55:18 AM | | ^^^34. No kids. Never Married. Pot meet kettle. Hardly think you're in a position to presume to know the reasons why someone isn't married at 40 or doesn't want to be married. You sound like an ignorant hick moron to me. No one with more than 2 brain cells left would actually equate having a piece of paper with magically having a worthwhile and respectable relationships. You should shut up while you simply sound stupid instead of completely idiotic. Not to mention you're a complete hypocrite to boot. There is NOTHING I despise more than a person who's a hypocrite. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:30:30 PM | | Not necessarily a 'red flag' but certainly an incompatibility issue for me ... speaking from my experience(s) only. I'm not intriqued nor interested (anymore) .. pointless. | |
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