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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/15/2006 11:04:35 AM | I don't think it's a red flag. Sometimes it takes time to find your soulmate. Why let society dictate at what age we should get married, have kids etc. Go to the beat of your own drum, if you like the person and you feel that sparkle, go for it. Sometimes I wonder if more people waited to find that special someone rather than rushing into marriage then there would probably be less divorce. I have several friends that didn't get married until they were in their 40's and they say it's the best thing they ever did, it gave them an opportunity to establish their own idenity and enabled them to bring a mature outlook to a relationship. Most have been married for 10+ years.
Hope this helps. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/15/2006 7:33:50 PM | It's very often the case that reasons for relationship debacle are built-in, but so is the ability to learn and improve. There is also a range of views on marriage. It is not universally desired as the format for the relationship. Prejudice against people who never marry belongs with other such prejudices, in small and hateful minds that growl at things beyond their own experience
Dead right Bull Rino
But the only prejudices which are actively condemmed are the very limited number of political and publicised ones such as gays, blacks, or women.
There are two that I can't believe stil remain socially acceptable.
1/ That all domestic violence is wife bashing
2/ That if a guys wife is a reall BIGGG girl then she's beating him up because she can. (The idea that she might love him too much to ever hit him is beyond so many tiny minds.)
I've hit a bit of a mental black Rino. Can you hep me out??
Rattle off a dozen ridiculous prejucides that you know are the products of tiny minds. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/19/2006 7:43:41 AM | | I sure hope it isn't. I've never married because I've not found that right man, and raising a child on my own hasn't given me much free time to actively search. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/24/2006 1:44:06 PM | | Some people simply don't place the same importance on marriage as people did a generation ago. A few people like myself are simply very late bloomers. I had never even kissed a woman until 3 months ago and I'm 36. Some of us just glide right through our 20's and 30's without the desire for companionship then it hits us square in the face. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/24/2006 6:37:33 PM | | I'm about to turn 35, never married, not even had a really serious relationship yet, but I would hope that would not be a red flag. Some people, like myself are careful who they meet. There are a lot of nut cases out there, and a lot of flaky people out there who might want to only temporarily take advantage of someone. That's not what I'm looking for. So from the perspective of someone who could end up in the category of being over 40 and never married in 5 years, I don't think it should be considered "damaged goods". Rather, look at it from the perspective of someone who believes "the best things come to those who wait." I dislike rushing into things, and if a full understanding of who I am with takes months or years it takes months or years. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/24/2006 8:14:09 PM | | A red flag? No way ~ that is someone to be treasured. I've been lucky ~ for 6 years, when and if I dated, they were all never-married. It's just a preference of mine. My two non-negotiable "musts" were: never married, no children. I'm not sure if I'll be the same now, should I decide to date, but most likely. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/24/2006 8:45:25 PM | | ^^^I am with you greeneyez in that I strongly prefer never married, no kids when dating. If a guy is widowed I can deal with that better than I can a divorced guy. I don't want to deal with the hassles associated with dating a divorced guy, especially one with kids. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/26/2006 2:11:31 AM | | I dont think its a red flag.Ive never met anyone yet ive wanted to marry.Not even sure ill ever want to be married.I think a red flag should go the ones who say my first husband,my third......why get married......i just have ex boyfriends....easier to just walk away. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 5/26/2006 5:17:41 PM |
Believe me designing woman his kids are nothing.
what you don't want are the hassles of coping with this ex.
His kids are a lot more than NOTHING. They will be in his life for the rest of his life ~ that is a tad more than nothing. The ex will either be friend or foe, anyone can deal with that. But the children, a lifelong situation that some of us just don't prefer to be involved with. It sounds like ex's are a bad thing in your opinion ~ Not in my opinion. My ex is my very best friend. His new love is quickly becoming very ingrained in our family. Ex's are only a problem if one allows them to be a problem. BUT, children ~ a much different deal. The emotions between parent and child run very deep ~ it's just much too much for me. I am not step-mother material and maybe Designing isn't either. This is officially called: a different perspective than yours.  | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:45:34 PM | Does this apply to people whove been asked? OR not asked and never married .. ive never married but been asked a few times ( the thought scares the crap right out of me ) LOL im too much of a free spirit to be tied down by the law | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/6/2006 4:24:39 AM | I dont think its a red flag.Ive never met anyone yet ive wanted to marry.Not even sure ill ever want to be married.I think a red flag should go the ones who say my first husband,my third......why get married......i just have ex boyfriends....easier to just walk away.
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Now you have really got a point Beardob.
Forget the damn red flags. They are waved far too freely anyway.
Just the idea that you havent met anybody that you loved enough to marry. That's the most important reason of the lot but seems to be the one least talked about. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:25:46 PM | | Thats what i ment in a way......i only plan on doing it once if at all.And until i meet the person i want to be with the rest of my life............ill stay unmarried........i want a husband.......not a list of mistakes to **** about. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/7/2006 4:19:20 PM | Women, of all ages, are addicted to red flags.
Red flags?? This is a red flag!
You would have to be talking about a junkie, addicted to multiple drugs, who had beaten up at least one girlfriend badly enough to cripple her, and had raped his own five year old daughter. These men DO exist but are thankfully, quite rare. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/8/2006 1:38:01 AM | | I know a Peter Pan type who is approaching 40 and believe he won't change unless someone modifies his brain. That may be one of the pictures some women get. Haven't been married by 40? Why not? The truth is that not everyone has found someone who really fits them. Some women will see the red flag while others will see someone particular. Different people will always have different takes on the matter. The Peter Pan type I know lives in his parents' basement. Now, that IS a warning flag. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:21:34 AM | One time a lady friend of mine advised me not to put in my profile that I'd never been married.
It's better to be married and divorced than to never have married? That just doesn't make sense to me. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:21:24 AM | | People assume that never been married means never dated, that we are ugly, too picky, etc. all of these things are closed minded, judgmental , especially since they have no clue as to what is out there since most of these people who have these opinions have not dated in years. just my take on what happens to me. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:02:10 AM | goodwitchtoo wrote:
YES!! RED FLAG!!!! Some people are satisfied without having companionship. There is a reason they have not been married. Content with everything, not an intimacy seeker, over bearing mother and is till a MOMMA'S BOY/DADDY'S Girl... selfish and doesn't like to share. These people can be great to date!!! Just don't expect much in return of intimacy(not sex type intimacy), sharing of their space or possesions,ect. It will always be theirs and yours, not "ours."
OUCH!
I have a differing conception of a red flag. It is a woman who has been married and divorced two or three times.
No woman ever asked me tro marry her, so I am still single. Marriage is a serious undertaking. It isn't a joke or a part-time hobby. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:44:10 PM | | Over 40 & never married I think is better than being 42 & divorced 4 times. Better to live together for a couple years then to get married & divorced 2 years later. It is also much less expensive. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/10/2006 10:16:47 PM | Women who do that are irrational ditzes who are always trying to make a big deal out of nothing. Believe me, you are better off staying as far away from them as possible.
P.S. Forget the whole marriage thing. I got married when I was 40. Biggest mistake I've ever made. Women turn into carping, nagging, malicious monsters the instant the noose is tied. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 6/11/2006 9:03:44 AM | it certainly is a cause for caution... but then so is any kind of dating anymore. I'd say just keep your eyes open.
I just broke up with someone who was over 40 and never married. He had been alone so long that he couldn't handle anything long term... huge fear of commitment... Every couple of months he'd run. Finally, I decided that it's time to get out and find someone who doesn't run from the world when it gets too close. I'm not looking for marriage, looking only for a friend and a lover to share the good times and bad... the rest takes care of itself.
We shouldn't ever, though, generalize anyone by someone we've met or had any kind of memories with. What a person is, does not make up their heart nor their personality. | |
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