| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/10/2009 2:55:27 PM | "...I have never been married. I want to be married, but it has not happened yet. "
Me too! And from what I had experienced in the dating scene, it's just been my luck (good and/or bad)! You know, that's JUST the way Life has turned out for me.
I'm glad that I'm single today and I could care less if anyone thinks that it's a "bad thing" at my "age".
I certainly make mistakes and have learned my lessons/have a lot more to learn but does that make me a "bad person" because I'm still single and not married at my age? Certainly NOT!
If there's some kind of rule book as to which ages and stages of Life we should be accomplishing and doing things, then I've already broken quite a few of them!
One fine day, I would like to marry & settle down but for now, it hasn't happened yet! | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/10/2009 6:40:12 PM | I'm 41 and it's been said here in this thread that if someone is not married by the time they are 40 or so they must have "issues" Yer dang right i have issues.. Issues of out of print books, collectable issues of magazines,issues upon issues of various publications... And I can blame none of them on anyone but myself! What can i say? I love my issues and don't do anything to rid me of them!
Seriously... goodness me oh my! I have never been married.. well treat me like a leper! There are a plethora of reasons that could have contributed to this.. Working two jobs to support myself,getting an education past High School,Being a commercial fisherman for a while,traveling,going back to school so I can add to my list of licenses,caring for a sick father,attending school to become a tradesman,studying and research just for the heck of it,the list goes on and on... Ever stop and think some people don't especially enjoy the thought of getting into a legal binding agreement with someone and then having to hand over everything that they worked a lifetime to get,for whatever reason? I've been engaged,she ended it. I guess there is a huge red flag over me.. wait.. someone please turn off that glaring spotlight on me! it's high lighting all my "issues". | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/12/2009 6:24:28 AM | It really depends on an individuals situation. If you joined the army or navy and did your 20, or had a very extensive traveling career (truck driver, traveling salesman, etc.) it might make more sense to stay single until you're done with that part of your career. Women's jobs might be stewardess, nurse, or any of the above). For the average person this might be something to wonder about, but it depends of the person and their circumstances. Some people are late bloomers.
That being said, theres always a possibility that someone's been in a correctional facility for some years, or a mental ward. Check carefully just to be safe!!  | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:26:09 AM | I don't think a divorced person is "damaged goods", but I would prefer to be involved with someone never married. I think maybe I would worry about the ex-wife, but then I would also worry about ex-girlfriends. But I really would avoid a divorced person because of my religious beliefs. I believe that the only Biblical divorce is for adultery. If someone was divorced because of adultery, I'd be more open minded, but I'd still worry. I would wonder why someone in their 40's would be never married, but there are lots of reasons.
Every person is an individual and I wouldn't say over 40 and never married is a red flag, but it is probably unusual, but getting more common as co-habitation is widespread and people are working on careers and just don't seem to marry as young as they used to.
I married my first boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 23 and I expected to live with him for life. I hate divorce and I like being tightly bonded to someone. I am now 43, mother of 3, and single. I don't know how picky I can afford to be and not be alone for the rest of my life. I used to think I'd never date a divorced man or someone with kids, but if my alternative is being alone, I may become more flexible. I have only been "single" for less than 2 years, so I am still in an adjustment period, I think. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:44:54 AM | "Over 40 and never married--damaged goods?"
NO--I think it shows wisdom, foresight and common sense!
Maybe I haven't met "the one" who fits into my life and fills in all the right pieces, but I don't want to be married at this point. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/12/2009 3:36:18 PM | Everyone would like to find the right person and get married but unfortunately it doesn't always happen.
There are alot of reasons people why people haven't married by the time they are 40.
I personally didn't want to get married young-How can you sleep with the same person for your whole life? someone is bound to cheat.
Some people have money and can't just marry anyone, they prefer to find someone of equal value; which is very difficult.
Besides married people are always complaining about their husbands and wives, that's all I hear from them, when I tell them to get divorced they get offended. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:20:00 AM | | bunomatic, the hell with married, not married or what is wrong or right with you. I will tell you something about you. You are a self-serving narcissist. You displayed so many photos of yourself in your profile. Just one would do. Good for you that you never got married! At least you look happy. I prefer being around not married happy folks than miserable married or divorced ones. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:37:47 AM | | I never thought about it too much until I dated a guy that hadn't been married .After a while it became abundantly clear. why he hadnt ..LOL.Because of that experience I would stop and think now before entertaining the thought of dating a "never been married" and over 40. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:33:55 AM | | You are entitled to your opinion, but if I painted all divorced men with the same brush based on at least half of the ones I have met (they seem to be seeking a supermodel who has a hot friend so they can have a 3 some whenever they want)...I would not be interested in men at all, since most of the men my age are divorced....I try to look at each man as an individual, and do not rule out any man, be he single, divorced, or widowed, based on him having been married or not. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:03:59 AM | ^^^^ Hey, you don't have to be divorced to be seeking "a supermodel who has a hot friend so they can have a 3 some whenever they want"! 
Which just goes to show there's really no difference between divorced, never-married, or whatever. It's simply an irrelevant piece of information, except maybe for the sort who are desperately seeking RED FLAGS.
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:19:17 AM | | Unfortunately, few women on POF seem to be supermodels with hot friends who will have 3somes at the drop of a hat ( if they wear hats)........(guess men can always dream) | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:21:23 AM | I have never stood before God, family and country and sworn to be faithful to someone until my death and then got divorced.
I don't believe in 'starter marriages' . I believe marriage is a hell of a lot more than a piece of paper.
I am glad I can say I do not have an ex husband. If someone thinks my lack of a failed marriage makes me suspect that's fine. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:12:10 AM | Yes. I have been married twice. the second, over 34 yrs. Maybe I just gluten for punishment, but I don't want to be alone. Only, this time, a lot more realistic. Life is too damn short no to feel love. Maybe your standands are too high or maybe you're looking in the wrong places. You will nevr find gold under a rock, only a snake.
Try goiing to church and join single groups. Ask yourself. "What are you looking for and why are you waiting?"
The Hawk | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:13:38 AM | Yes. I have been married twice. the second, over 34 yrs. Maybe I just gluten for punishment, but I don't want to be alone. Only, this time, a lot more realistic. Life is too damn short no to feel love. Maybe your standands are too high or maybe you're looking in the wrong places. You will nevr find gold under a rock, only a snake.
Try goiing to church and join single groups. Ask yourself. "What are you looking for and why are you waiting?"
The Hawk
PS. My philosphy: "Is it not better to concentrate on the things we have in common, rather, than too dwell on those we do not" | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/17/2009 7:03:25 AM | Yeah, like one at work is 46 yrs old still waiting around for the "right one". She has to get passed his mommy first!
He said he's settling for one at the VFW hall who drinks him under the table--his and her drinks! It's cute for now, but he'll be pouting about her later! | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/17/2009 7:57:16 PM | If someone has cohabited/been in a serious / several serious relationships it is perfectly easy to get to a certain age without being married.
If someone hasnt been in a serious or long term relationship thats a different kettle of fish. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:41:07 PM | For me, there is no one size fits all rule for this.
If you eliminate unmarried 40 year olds automatically, just because they are unmarried... well, you may just be denying yourself a good relationship.
Or looking at it another way... If you reject them based on this, then perhaps that's a favor to them.
They'll find their source of happiness regardless of what judgement you automatically place on them.
In the end, only you who judge them may lose.
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:12:15 AM | Right... forget the red flags... (except when driving)...
better for someone to marry late than say 21 or whatever age if not emotionally or mentally ready for it... next question please. | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/24/2009 2:24:30 PM | | I think you can't put every person into one basket, for some it would be a red flag, for others there are some pretty good reasons they never married and are a really great catch with no baggage:) | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/25/2009 7:33:17 PM | | Treselle,considering the fact that you have never met me and don't know me from Adam,you did a pretty good job of cutting me up by the time you got to the third sentence.But that does'nt surprise me in the least based on what I have read in your other posts.You do a grand job of judging people.To call me a self serving narcissist because I have more than one photo is stupidity.That would make most of the people on fish self serving narcissists.I don't believe thats true.Besides,its not me who's looking at my profile.As for self serving, I am doing this on line dating for me so that I can potentially find someone for me.Make sense?By the way,where's your picture? | |
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| over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 4/26/2009 12:34:21 AM | 40 and never married a Red Flag?.....
I keep hearing that it would have been better if you were married and divorced.... Really? At this rate I will be 50 and never married.  And now for the dancing plantine. Hell even my grandparents are divorced and miserable, why would I ever want to join that bunch?> | |
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