| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/1/2009 1:47:45 PM |
Yes, indeed ... and if you go farther back than that, a true gentlewoman shall accept graciously her bonk on the head and tug back to the cave by her hair.
Then she fixes the man a turkey sammich ? | |
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| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/1/2009 3:26:55 PM | "a true gentlewoman shall accept graciously her bonk on the head and tug back to the cave by her hair."
Don........want to fix a sandwich for me..................? | |
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*Don*
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Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 143 | |
| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/1/2009 5:57:17 PM | [laffin] ... I'm sorry, but I don't serve sammiches without a proper curtsey, Ms. Moraima. I do have my 'standards'.
Seriously though, I got quite a eye-opener about the late 1800's description of proper behaviour for a woman. We were such a foolish race of people back then. What was passed off as manners really only served to denigrate one gender.
D | |
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| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:00:07 PM |
Seriously though, I got quite a eye-opener about the late 1800's description of proper behaviour for a woman. We were such a foolish race of people back then.
So that means that in over 200 years , nothing has really changed. | |
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| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:52:45 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^...................................................
Just as a thinking brain puts us on the top of the food chain.. manners separates us all from the neanderthals.. and thankfully.. chivalry is not dead!
I go as often as possible to the local renaissance faires.. and am always delighted to see men that are true gentlemen. These men don't just "act" this way at the faires.. or play the part away from the faires.. but.. they carry it on.. as I have gotten to visit with many of them in their daily life. It's refreshing to see a man treat a woman as a lady.. and not a sex machine built to stroke his ego.. including the making of sammiches.
In todays world.. a slight bow from the waist or the head.. suffices.. as a means of curtsy. Women rarely wear long gowns or full enough dresses to give a full curtsy.. but.. that doesn't mean she isn't giving one. | |
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| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:11:11 AM | I still remember my training and could curtsy even in a business suit.
I have noticed that the happier the person the easier the manners nature flow in their day to day lives. | |
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| Manners among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:48:49 PM | | I agree with those who say you shouldn't have to advertise about having manners. It should be a given. There are people who don't have them, but you can discern that by talking to them, on line or phone, just by getting to know them before the meet. Or, in the first meet, you can see if someone is a person who has decent manners. I weed them out very quickly. No interest in rude and crude people. However, I don't think opening doors and pulling out chairs is what manners are all about. Manners are about treating other people with respect and decency, it's about being treated the way you want to be treated, and, for me, it is about not being really crude, for men or women. I find there are men who are middle aged who think it is normal to be crude. It isn't. It's disgusting. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:25:51 AM | Good manners are more than saying please and thank you.\. This implies respect for humanity. This also shouldn't be a gender issue. Its listening with a careful ear, treating others with basic respect. Its holding doors open for others instead of letting the doors slam in their face....regardless if its a different gender. Its taking your turn at the four-way, letting another car in front of you. Chewing with your mouth closed, not pointing out others character........not insisting that someone agrees with you and having to win every argument.......agreeing to disagree. I love good manners. Its treating and unknown person on the phone with respect. Even a bill collector. I see people seething with anger that are passive aggressive taking out frustrations on a store clerk.....not getting off their cell phones and giving the sales clerk that 5 seconds to complete a transaction. Its saying please and thank you to a sales clerk and not making them feel as less than.....before you. Basic manners indicate that society as a whole finds certain behaviors acceptable. But in this day and age I have seen others treated as less because people feel certain larger than life. I think for the ones that don't treat humans with basic respect as angry, fearful people that have I am a better than you attitude. Slamming doors on someone shows a anger issue. Its passive aggressive....it is a statement about your life. It doesn't take much time or energy to show a little respect to people I don't know. Whether looking in some one's eyes to say thank you and smile. It takes a second. Doesn't cost me anything. And it makes my day brighter because whenever I am smiling they can't help but smile back.
Great Post thanks..... | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:55:50 AM | I completely agree with you. I am a woman and 56 and don't think twice about opening or holding a door for a man, woman or child...Probably has to do with upbringing. It is sometimes a surprise how unconsciously rude people can be but doesn't change the way I roll. | |
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lisshe
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 151 | |
| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/25/2009 2:19:24 PM | | What really surprised me when I first got on this site, was how rude people are in writing. All ages. Is it me or does it seem to be that on the internet manners sometimes seem to go out the window, maybe because it is not face to face and there are no real ramifications for being rude in an e-mail? I have had so many of them, sometimes wonder if society as a whole has just gotten ruder and less considerate of others since the internet makes that so easy to do. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/25/2009 2:42:34 PM | | I totally agree with you lisshe. Between email and text.............some folks think rude is normal and/or funny. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:12:02 PM | | I would not be bothered with a man who has bad manners, especially if he's aware of it and does not care. Also, if he only respects people he knows and not to the rest of the population with respect then I want have anything to do with him. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:24:46 PM | "Is it me or does it seem to be that on the internet manners sometimes seem to go out the window, maybe because it is not face to face and there are no real ramifications for being rude in an e-mail? "
Depends upon whether the manners have been integrated into the person's 'being' and standards for themself about themself ... or if they only have them when they are 'reacting' to the visible reactions of people in person. The anonymity of postings does allow us to see how people will be when they don't think anyone is looking. This can be a good thing ... and a great reason to check how people behave in forums. It might reveal how they will behave when they don't think they have to impress.... when they feel safe to let false fronts and masks fall away.
In some of the more controversial fora I have been attacked such that I'd never get within 20 feet of the person in person. grins. At that point it is a challenge not to fire back. grins. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:32:48 PM | | certain basic manners are pretty much mandatory. you know, no farting/burping/body odor on the first date, that kinda stuff. GOOD manners like opening doors, pulling out the lady's chair, groveling at her feet...those are like, nice, but excusable if it doesn't always happen. Depends on what the lady is wearing and where you are going when really nice manners come into play. If you just go to casual places, you can burp and fart all you want after the second date (see how far that'll get ya). | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/29/2009 4:53:28 PM | | lot of good posts here. i'm disgusted with the lack of manners among people these days. its all about me seems to be prevalent these days with both men and women. it used to be the guys that didn't have a clue but now women are being just as bad though not as often. talking with your mouth full has become rampant. drivers ignore people in crosswalks, pedestrians walking into a flow of traffic against the light flipping drivers off and of course the cell phone "ettiquate" that many people have. conversely, many women have opened doors for me when i've had my arms full or held doors for me and this has made my day. a little courtesy makes the wheels of society run much smoother. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:39:56 PM |
Depends on what the lady is wearing and where you are going when really nice manners come into play.
OK, the lady is nekkid...and we ALL know where i'm going. Following the above line of logic,it would be perfectly acceptable for me to fart until the drapes caught fire. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:37:05 PM | Renaissance Redneck--
Well done.
Sad to say that woman was not a a charm school drop out, worse, a reject.
Would I expect a man to place my order for me? No.
I would however be charmed by it, given the situation as you presented it.
Would I read into such a gesture that the man is a control freak? Not at all.
A kotc for the gentleman.
Smiles--PW | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/1/2009 5:35:34 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.................
"I swear, in some circles, manners seem non-existent!"
I'm not sure I understand the "some circles" part here. I happen to think there are good and bad.. manners included.. amongst alllll "circles". Whether it's gender.. race.. class.. or religion. No matter what.. bad manners are just plain bad manners. JMO | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/2/2009 8:54:22 AM | Here's what I mean, by "in some circles", redarcangel:
I have noticed that there are groups of people who think they are "above" good manners, or that if they have them, they only use them for people they consider "their equals or better." An example would be a "professional" person talking down or otherwise being rude or trying to embarass waitstaff at a restaurant. And that happens A LOT! Just ask any poor waiter or waitress!
But I do agree that bad manners are just plain bad manners. Just sharing my observations, that's all. | |
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lisshe
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 162 | |
| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/2/2009 2:35:43 PM | | Interesting responses to my post. Does anyone seem to find that the lack of manners has to do with age at all? Most of my e-mails that are rude and inconsiderate come from people that are typically younger. Not always, but a great percentage. When I was growing up, manners were taught in school, you never, ever talked back to a teacher or someone in authority. Now, it seems, that even little children talk back and are rude. I live in Rochester and have seen families walking by my house and the parents will let their children grab plants out of my front yard, rip out flowers and when I come outside and ask them not to, I get yelled at and called names. All they would have to do is ask nicely and I would be happy to give flowers from my garden, but some people seem to think they have a right to take without asking. Just one example of people who don't care about anyone but themselves and they are passing that on to their children. | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:28:51 PM | Good manners??? Let's face it...what in the heck is there to say in these ads? It's hard to find stuff so I guess "good manners" is something one can list if you can't think of anything else. Hmmm...OK...how about this?
--I take a shower or bath EVERY day!
--I wash my clothing on a regular basis.
--I breath.
--I use deodorant.
--When I eat, I chew with my mouth closed. (perhaps this fits under good manners)
--I fart but only in private.
Good manners although nice when they are displayed are more-or-less expected of everyone who is dating.
The one that REALLY cracks me up is: "I am disease free." (I need to know this on a general ad???) I guess it would be REALLY BAD MANNERS if they had some sort of STD and gave it to one of us on our first encounter..... | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/3/2009 7:17:33 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^..........................
Oh no Brownlady.. I meant no disrespect. I was just wondering which "circles" you meant. I agree with you. The professional snob that treats his employees or those of "lesser" stations.. like dogs..  ! | |
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| Mannors among the over 45 yr. old
Posted: 4/3/2009 7:22:09 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^....................................................
I see no difference in the ages of those with bad manners. There seems to be that mix of good and bad in all. I stopped the youngens from being able to contact me many many moons ago. And I couldn't be happier about THAT decision. It's tough enough getting an e-mail or IM from some man your own age in here going.. "Hey Baby.. wanna................... ???"  Delete/block  !JMO | |
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