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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
 smileforgzus

Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 251
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:55:18 AM
My fiance is drop dead gorgeous so no man would be better looking than him anyway
 read only

Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 252
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:02:09 PM
I am sorry that I may have said this and it sounds like I condone cheating, because I don't and no I never have.

I am just saying in my opinion just about anybody would if the situations were right.

Hey I could be wrong, I can admit that, but this is strictly opinion.
 CynthiaM

Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 253
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:20:01 AM

I am just saying in my opinion just about anybody would if the situations were right.

I don't get upset with statements like this because it says everything about you, nothing about me (or anyone else). I feel sorry that your life is such that you could form that belief. But, it is only your perception; not fact.


My fiance is drop dead gorgeous so no man would be better looking than him anyway

I understand you're in love (congratulations!! I met the love of my life on pof too), but this statement comes off as the reason you don't cheat is that you value looks so no cheating until you find someone better looking.
You do not need to justify your reason for being here (the fora), nor the reason for posting any pics on your profile that meet the site's standards.
 wvwaterfall

Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 254
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/14/2009 11:45:48 AM
We're all wired differently. I'm sure there are those who might never be immune from cheating, should the right opportunity come along, but many, many others just flat out would never cheat regardless the situation.

For me, once I'm in a relationship, it's like a switch gets flicked. I have no interest in being intimate with anyone else. As a result, I've never cheated, nor even come close, really. Sure there have been opportunities. Sometimes I think it's a variant on Murphy's law that whenever I'm not available women find me more attractive. But you might as well offer me hot chocolate on a hundred degree day - something that in other circumstances would be wonderful just doesn't even seem appealing.

There are also people who would sell anything if the right price were offered. Others of us consider certain things to be priceless, fidelity among them.

It's not my intention to pass judgment, but simply reiterate that we're all unique in our values and how we live them.

Dave
 PrimeWoman

Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 255
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/14/2009 5:37:50 PM
I am here for forums. My profile is in hide mode but it is accessible
from forums I found out...when I rec'd an email from another poster.
So I added a disclaimer to it.
Get over it.
 smileforgzus

Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 256
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/15/2009 10:10:48 AM
I have a pic on my profile that is just me by myself and is a face shot. But I got a lot of guys writing me making sexual comments even tho my status had not looking and that I was engaged when I had just a pic of me by myself. When i put pics of me and my fiance they stopped doing it.

Also my fiance is amazing in every single way possible. He's sweet, funny, smart , hard working and gorgeous. My point is no man out there will ever compare to what I've already got so I'd never cheat
 El_Mariachi

Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 257
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/17/2009 3:02:59 PM

"Just about anybody would cheat at anytime if they know they could get away with it, including myself. "


So you aren't speaking for everyone... only speaking for 'just about anyone...'? Sorry, I fail to see a difference.
 shipoker58

Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 258
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:20:35 PM
what is unusual about this?? People build relationships, Platonic, and continue with them after they find what they are looking for. But as quickly as some "I found the right one" relationships come and go, why delete a profile? They will be back on in short order.


...JMO
 serenityCW

Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 259
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:59:35 PM
i stayed on pof as "not single" for the three years i was in a relationship, mostly for forums and for male and female friends i had "already" made along the way before i met him. there was no "flirtation". my man could read my posting anytime. however, not sure i would have joined pof "after" i met him. it was a no biggie. we treated it as friends and as we would any other "interest group". he was pretty comfortable in our monogamy and vice versa.

now that we are no longer a couple for reasons having nothing to do with all this, many held me up in the aftermath. also, no flirtation while i was in relative mourning.

ok. that being said, it's six months later. my mourning is over and i am now ready to flirt!
 rune3

Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 260
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/18/2009 12:57:15 AM
wvwaterfall wrote:
For me, once I'm in a relationship, it's like a switch gets flicked. I have no interest in being intimate with anyone else.
I echo this, and I friends, family and partners seem to be wired this way too. To me it seems common: cheating is the anomaly, not the norm.

I think that cheating/betrayal is an event that illuminates the fact that there was no real relationship as far as the cheater was concerned. This happens when people are unable to connect emotionally because they fear getting hurt and when their prime relationship is with their ego and the relationships they have with other people are incidental to that and driven by it.

Serenitycw wrote:
ok. that being said, it's six months later. my mourning is over and i am now ready to flirt!
You should have a queue by now, Serenity... I hope someone wonderful finds you soon.
 JustNotThatIntoYou

Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 261
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/18/2009 4:49:28 AM
Just don't flirt with me....I'm not interested.

My switch gets flipped regularly!
 killene

Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 262
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:12:14 PM
I too am shocked when there are people on here that say they are in a relationship but still on this site. Hey there are tons of free forums on the internet so why here?
I guess I am also one of those that do find it strange when you get a reply that says sorry Im in a relationship. I will admit its a nice response but shouldnt you update your profile to say that.
 8567

Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 263
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:07:36 PM
Yah this issue of having a boyfriend or girlfriend and being on here is what made me annoyed. I had a "boyfriend" from here and he ended up talking to me alot and then rarely yet, I could see he was on here alot. It was stresfull. Don't make someone your boyfriend or girlfriend if you wrather spend your time talking to other people and not them!
 Giller22

Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 264
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really? **REVISED**
Posted: 6/11/2009 12:15:32 AM
DEAR EVERYONE,

So you're in a relationship, you have a profile on POF, you're on here just for the threads. We get that part..


The OP asks a great question, but I think what he neglected to also ask is this:

Were you single when you signed up for an account on POF, or were you in a relationship when you signed up for a free online dating site?



(very weird, if you ask me)
 jmim

Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 265
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:58:07 AM
Yeah, if you hide your profile I see no problem using this place just for the forums.
It also depends on how you date.

If you subscribe to the "Ladder theory" where people simply date the "Best they can get" while actively looking for something better... Well then you are not a good person to be dating in the first place. And using POF for the forums might highten your chances of accidently comming across something better.

Most women dump me for another guy.
But I guess you can either be dumped for someone else or be dumped because, "You suck so much that they'd rather be single."

I digress from this rant.
 funky_phantom

Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 266
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:43:03 AM
Bullsh*t.
If you are still on here while you are in a relationship w/ somebody, then you are just f*cking around.
Relationships are fragile...
Being on an online dating site is like going to meat market bars...and spending too much time w/ a "friend" of the opposite sex.
It's a poor idea that usually shortens the length of time that the relationship lasts.
 8567

Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 267
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:54:10 PM
Yah it's a very stupid idea.
 minako79

Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 268
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:58:37 PM
I would have no problem if my bf had his profile up, just chatting or keeping in touch with his friends and post forums like I do... as long as we both mutually agreed exclusively and have 'not single/not looking'. There has been trust somewhere.
 smileforgzus

Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 269
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:14:28 AM
My fiance knows that I am on this site and he also reads all the messages that I send back to people and the messages that I post in the forums. He knows that I would never cheat on him because no other man will ever compare to the smart, funny, sweet, handsome guy that he is. On another note when I joined this site it was just for forums I wasn't looking for a relationship.
 dave1234

Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 270
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:59:09 PM
I've noticed a few folks have mentioned there are other "friendship" sites available so why be on a dating site. Being in a relationship I decided to try out a "friendship" site. One such site is called "IMVU". Avatars, virtual room scapes.....looks like the perfect "friendship" site.

Be forewarned. Let me just say the male and female avatars can "interact". No more need be said!

If anything, POF is as benign as they come when talking about "friendship" sites.
 barbee1970

Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 271
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:11:09 PM
I doubt people in a relationship will really fess up. Temptation is there, people. If they want "friends" and they are in a relationship, try Myspace or Facebook.

I alway say because of actual not single/not looking I won't want to pay for a site. I have been lied to in the past from married men on a dating site and one man living with a woman for 11 yrs.
 smileforgzus

Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 272
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/24/2009 11:12:41 AM
I'm on myspace and facebook. And I'd also NEVER cheat on my fiance.

And my profile on here very clearly says I'm in a relationship, engaged and if you can't understand that then don't contact me.
 Me Leona

Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 273
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:34:20 AM
smilefor, it's not only those of you in relationships who people get angry at!

Last night and today was the first time I ever got nasty e-mails in the whole year and a half that I've been on POF which put me in the mood to hide my profile and delete all Favorites. Now I feel like I lost everybody lol. Why were they mad?

They were mad because this is a free dating site and I don't like one-on-one meets (not to mention their e-mails were wacky sounding), but I always responded to every e-mail very politely and thanking them for writing. One even blocked me after he sent his nasty spew because I looked for what I sent him and it was gone.

I say specifically in my profile I DON'T LIKE the one-on-one meet and greets, HOWEVER I do enjoy POF social events and the forums. Doesn't stop many from writing and asking to meet anyway and when I politely tell them I prefer to meet people at events they got angry and nasty (the 2 last night, most everyone before that was nice about it).

Just because this is a FREE dating site does NOT mean I have to DATE. I've been on MySpace for a few years and I was on Facebook for a while (hated it). I prefer POF.

So, just as if you're already in a relationship, I do understand that POF is different than MySpace and Facebook and has qualities that are different than other sites. I don't feel anyone should have to apologize or explain their reasons for being here whether they're not available for dating or just have certain ways they prefer to meet people, other than one-on-one.
 Susieb

Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 274
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:33:15 PM
mmmmm ........... I would have to agree/concur.
 Susieb

Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 275
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:46:05 PM
So are 'looks' the criteria?

Let's just 'get real' here .......... you profess to be 'engaged' to someone 'good-looking' ....... so why are you 'here?' What is it that you need that he isn't giving/able to give? Does he even exist?

Thankfully ......... not my problem.
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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?