| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 12:30:35 PM | "I've noticed quite a few of you say you have boyfriends/girlfriends, yet you have a profile on a singles site....and you claim you're here just for the threads? I've also seen some girls' profiles and they say they have a boyfriend but they're looking for friends....really?"
Yes. Really. Why is that so hard to understand??? Is there a written rule somewhere stating that people of the opposite sex can't be friends? If so then I'm looking at like 50 consecutive life sentences because a lot of my friends are male.....
OP - are you not able to be just a friend to a female?? | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:30:45 PM | I came here for dating. I was expecting to just look at faces and be judged by my face...this is so much more interesting. Its one of the best forums, the quickest, the most like people-watching in the park....
When I have dated someone for any length of time since getting involved in the forums, I have stayed on here to read and post things. The people I date know I am here. I tell them right away to look at what I write...and if/when we become exclusive I have hidden my profile from searches (It's been hidden about 11 months total.) Right now, I am in an in-between time with dating. It can go either way...so my profile is viewable...but I still have the choice to act on an invitation or not. It is up to me.
I am grateful for the forums for helping me to learn a lot of the social stuff I didn't learn in middle school, when I always had my head in a book, and never stepped into the fray of the social world beyond a single friend who also was a bookworm. It's been an eye-opener...and fun...and a bit scary....
I have met some good friends here. I still think it is the easiest way to see what each other is up to.
Forever and ever, people have flirted with each other--married, single, dating, whatever. I think the art of "harmless" flirting is a lost art. I am trying to learn it. I have seen flirting work to help everyone be more relaxed at almost any type of get-together. The time that flirting is innapropriate is whenever anyone isn't sure of the committment, has trouble trusting others, lacks confidence, or is actually in the process of "being replaced." This takes a lot of sensitivity on the part of people...and you can tell that it's not been an easy thing to do from some of the heartbreaks that have happened.
Its OK to compliment another, to smile, to be kind, to tease a bit....but be sure to communicate very clearly with the person you are dating so nobody feels bad.
I think that it would be great to be in a relationship with another forum poster who "gets this" crazy place... | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:16:37 PM |
You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums
What a lovely turn of phrase you have. I assume from your comment that you don't have the ability to be faithful whilst you are in a relationship unless you are on a desert island with no means of outside communication.
Such a shame and I am sorry for you but please, don't tar us all with the same brush...some of us fully understand the meaning of a committed, trusting relationship. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:18:07 PM | Yep, we exist. I actually was single when I first joined POF and I just recently got into a relationship (2 months ago tommorow) I love the forums, and though I do receive messages from guys I say thank you, wish them luck, or ingnore them. I LOVE the forums and I like the site period, that is why I never left. If my bf was to come on here and come accross my profile, I wouldn't have anything to hide because my profile explains my situation.
I also have it listed on my page that I am single and NOT looking. Also, what if I took it down and me and my beau split, then I would have to create a new one right?
I'm not using that as an excuse at all, though some are. I also know that a lot of people keep their "windows of oppertunities" open because they don't want to be "attached" once the real deal comes along and they are just in their relationships now until that person finds them. Dirty, but very true in some cases. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:18:20 PM |
Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.
Speak for yourself. Maybe this is your experience, but it's not mine. And even if you have run across people who've done this, they don't represent all of us. You are insulting those of us who do behave with integrity. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:18:38 PM | Very true!
There are things that I still need to learn about and explore other people's opinions on.
I have no need to find "friends" on here. I have quite a few in real-time that I yadda with. My profile is now hidden from "viewers" only because a few men don't read what my profile says and still try to contact me for romance.
I just happen to like reading the forums and contributing to them if I feel I'd like to say something. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:32:09 PM | | I also stayed on PoF after I started dating my BF, my profile states 'not single/not looking'. The forums are entertaining, plus I have several freinds on this site...sometimes they ask me to review their profile (or the profile of someone that has contacted them). I agree with the other posters that PoF is like facebook/myspace/etc in that is just a way for people to connect....all the social networking sites are what you want/need them to be. I use them all for connecting with friends and entertainment, not for dating. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:43:48 PM | Yep....that is the case for me.
I was on here when I was single ofcourse and discovered the forums...even when I was single I utilized the forums more than the "other section"...as I found it unsatisfactory . I mostly just received emails that I usually ignored....and if so impressed, responded to...more than I initiated emails.But the forums were lively and interesting to me...I am a bit of a forum addict anyway.
I now have a bf and I still use POF for the forums...in fact my profile is hidden from searches and it also states my status in it as well as I have it BOLDED that I am not single and I am not looking for dates or any such thing.
My bf knows I use it for the forum but I do sometimes feel odd about logging in in his presence because I don't want him to think anything...but he is trusting and in reality I have nothing to hide as I am not doing anything...in fact I show or read him the weird email messages I sometimes get and we both laugh at them. He is also on here and he can pretty much observe my activities and see that I am busy making posts when I do come on.
What I wanna know is why do men still message me about dates and stuff when I state I am not interested in that....I think to avoid all that I am going back to having my profile hidden. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:49:00 PM |
Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.
Wow...I think someone needs to get over herself FAST. Or a nap. Either or.
Lemme tell ya something...if it wasn't for the forums, I wouldn't be here at all. So that alone shoots your theory all the Hell and back again. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 4:11:41 PM |
Yep, if you're not single you really shouldn't be here.
And why is that again?
Only single people share thoughts and seek intellectual engagement or want to discuss issues or have questions???
Oh please. I understand that the site has a dating component....but as a grown, adult one should be able to be on a site that has daters and solely engage in the forum aspect.This whole idea is ridiculous that one can't enjoy a forum b/c one is taken....esp if it was something you found out about while single  In fact....it matters not to me who has a problem with this...so long as my boyfriend does not I don't care what onlookers have to say
This is a SOCIAL NETWORKING site...so one can choose to meet friends,choose to meet booty calls, choose to look for a bf/gf or choose to discuss issues with other folks and never make friends with them at all......if you lack self control or are a cheater and so forth that has nothing to do with POF and you would be like that anyway. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 4:12:37 PM | Yep, if you're not single you really shouldn't be here.
Is that so? Well ... since the CREATOR of this site has deemed it appropriate to have the “not single/not looking”, “living together”, “married” AND “separated” categories as options on HIS site, perhaps you should petition HIM to change it if you don’t like it! Oh ... and good luck with THAT!  
OE: We're here because we can be and until that changes, we will be. We don't need to justify our reasons to anyone and as other posters have said ... get over it. | |
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| You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 6:03:50 PM |
Speak for yourself. Maybe this is your experience, but it's not mine. And even if you have run across people who've done this, they don't represent all of us. You are insulting those of us who do behave with integrity.
Thank you for speaking for all of us!
I met the man I have been dating for over a year on this site. I left for a bit but I missed the forums so much because I love the wide variety of topics here. I have learned so much from the posts of other people, helped a few people out I hope with personal advice and mostly enjoyed myself.....some of the regulars here are a HOOT!
My profile is hidden from a search, and the only direct contact I have with anyone here is people who email me for advice or those I email for the same, never is it for a romantic conversation. I was unfaithful once in my life and I will never do it again. If it comes to the point that I need to move on he will be the first to know, because he deserves that from me. But for now I am a completely satisfied forum junkie! Lol | |
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