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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:25:43 PM | I don't get these threads at all to be honest.
It's like a big giant game we play here.
Someone starts a thread about widows/widowers...
someone has to make a comment about how
widowers/widows are better able to make a commitment...
which in turn pisses off the divorced/single people.
Someone starts a thread about never being married and someone
has to make a comment about never being married
people not only unable to commit...but now they are
somehow selfish.
Someone starts a fat thread and someone just has to say something
about all the skinny people out there.
Who the fark cares seriously about ANY of this? If you don't
like someone or you have no interest in someone because of
their status or lack of it...just move on.
I don't know how you guys do it...I would get really weary
feeling the need to defend myself all the time.
Especially to a group of strangers.
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:14:10 PM | Even though this is a real life issue, it all seems soo trifle. First off, over 50, who really cares if you've been married or not? What, are we diseased? Are we defective? Do you think we don't understand relationships because we haven't been married and divorced? Divorce is just as likely then, as it is at 20. At 20 they're immature and at 50 they're set in their ways. SOO?? 
I have no problem dating a lady with or without kids AND regardless of if she's been married before or not. (However, the number of kids and their age DOES matter).
I have no problem if a woman has never been married but the "red flag" for me is when she has been married & divorced 2 or more times... | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:57:50 PM | "I have no problem if a woman has never been married but the "red flag" for me is when she has been married & divorced 2 or more times..."
It's not a red flag for me, it's a strike out, that's it, over and no questions asked. I probably should not post this as some people here will think of me as an unhappy and negative person. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:40:06 AM | | These days its easy for someone, male or female, to have had 2 or more marriages, each of which lasted many years. Its modern life. Who knows what the reasons were? For some reasons, things stopped working, and they made the decision to switch rather than struggle. It may not be your way, but it does not mean that they are defective people in any particular way. If you were not there, you can't really know the details, and divorce is so easy these days, its no wonder people make use of it so readily. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:27:48 AM |
These days its easy for someone, male or female, to have had 2 or more marriages, each of which lasted many years. Its modern life. Who knows what the reasons were? For some reasons, things stopped working, and they made the decision to switch rather than struggle. It may not be your way, but it does not mean that they are defective people in any particular way. If you were not there, you can't really know the details, and divorce is so easy these days, its no wonder people make use of it so readily.
You are absolutely correct. Your comment about divorced people It may not be your way, but it does not mean that they are defective people in any particular way
can and should also be used for never married people. There are as many reasons for people not to have married as there are for people who chose to divorce. However, a great number of people who chose to divorce seem to find any of their reasons for divorcing acceptable but they seem to feel that any reason for someone to choose to not marry is unacceptable. A large number of these divorced people seem to feel the need to denigrate the never married people.
When it becomes clear that the never marrieds take a free-for-all bashing in these fora from the once-married, I usually choose to play devil's advocate by putting the shoe on the other foot. It is then that you will see the once-marrieds take issue when the finger is being pointed at them. I am a firm believer in equality and what's good for one side is also good for the other side. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:05:04 AM | Well, looking back on my own life, I would probably have never "married" had I known what was going on when I was younger. Up this way marriage has become a complete joke, providing the legal profession and the tax man with ways to oppress people and collect huge amounts of money from them. To me its all a big racket.
I don't know how, however, aside from some rather restricted situations, someone could get to their 50s or 60s and never have had some type of serious relationship which was more or less the equivalent of marriage, although, oddly, I do know people like that, and they are not at all odd. Usually, however, those people are not even trying to find someone, so they are not in the game.
It takes all types to make up the world. I do think, however, that for me to start a relationship with a 50 something spinster type of person would be very unexpected, but who knows. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:25:59 AM | "spinster" would have to be one of the ugliest words in the english language...
it conjours up the vision of an austere, frumpy type of woman...
when actually the complete opposite could be the case...
there should be an equivalently hideous word used for a male who has not married...
the word "bachelor" always brings to mind a cary grant type,
carousing his way through life......
i hereby nominate "spunster"... | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:55:22 AM | I was using the word in its common sense, as a description, not as a pejorative. Perhaps vielle madame? Not really the same, however.
I don't think there is another term for a woman who managed to avoid the trials and tribulations of relationships with men throughout her lifetime, is there? | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:32:03 AM | I married a guy who had never had a relationship last longer than 2 years. OK. Let's just say that was a clue I should have listen to.
The women are more picky then me. I give all the women a chance they seem to be more picky then me. I never turn down a date. Always willing to give every women a chance for one date.
I turn down dates all the time. It is too much work to sit there acting interested when in reality you arent in the least bit. So I say NO to first second and third offers. Why lead someone to believe you are interested in them when you arent?
And no I dont mean I am interested in marriage. I just not interested in what he has to say......
So as men you have never had an offer from a person you know you wont connect too?? I mean wow...... that must be great to only have offers from women you would connect too. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:11:36 PM |
I am holding out for a women 50 or over, never married, no debts, no baggage and has taken care of herself and has at least an undergraduate degree. Pete ... you're still looking? Your profile says you're "Not Single/Not Looking" and just wanting "Hang Out".
There are lots of women over 50, no debts, no baggage, and they have taken care of themself and are smart to boot. Of course, she might not necessarily look like a "Barbie" ... might be more of a "plain Jane" type. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:55:33 PM |
there should be an equivalently hideous word used for a male who has not married...
the word "bachelor" always brings to mind a cary grant type,
carousing his way through life......
i hereby nominate "spunster"...
How about "feminist hero", because we've successfully resisted the overwhelming urge to oppress some woman (or many women) by marrying her (them)?
I fully expect a statue from N.O.W. any day now. 
So as men you have never had an offer from a person you know you wont connect too?? I mean wow...... that must be great to only have offers from women you would connect too.
You're being myopic and thus are ignoring the possibility of there being a third option, namely the "no offers" one. I'd suggest it's by far the most common. Almost all men are wallflowers; they don't sit around entertaining non-existent offers from women. The idea of getting offers from women we would desire and/or connect with is beyond the fantasy lives of guys after the age of ~15. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:39:40 PM | cotter
I've gotten a little flack over my profile through private email and I told them not to pay attention or take my profile seriously and that I'm just being an idiot. Furthermore it's my own little private rebellion against all the women of the world.
On edit: I also just had my main profile pic deleted by the site management. They claim it was not in compliance with the rules. I'm pissed, I really liked that pic. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:16:58 PM | Yes, most of us (women) will question a guy over 50 who's not been married. But we also question a guy who's been divorced or even widowed...that's what we do.
We're checking you out.
Get yourself a damn good answer my friend, say it with pride and you'll be fine. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:13:29 AM |
I am sure they have a very good reason but I cant understand it.
Simple. They have lots of friends who have been married and therefore realize how lucky they have been....javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:39:51 AM | I can't say that it makes much difference to me ... as long as he's still relatively sane, and is serious about the relationship. As long as he's already housebroken and exercises the flexibility that it takes to be in a meaningful relationship ... no problems.
Example A ... men over 50 who have been married and are so set in their ways and inflexible that they seem to drive every living being from their lives.
Example B ... men over 50 who have never been married who are very flexible ... easy to get along with and would probably go out of their way to pamper a partner to death.
I'll take the guy in Example B any day over the guy who is set in his ways!!!! Who cares why he has never been married!!!! Maybe he was so busy pursuing a successful career that he just never got around to it. There's nothing wrong with that. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:07:46 AM |
Simple. They have lots of friends who have been married and therefore realize how lucky they have been....
I've had my ass kicked several times for making anti marriage statements so I am just going to quote this poster as I always seem to agree with his writings. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:17:39 AM | | Everyone has the right to reject anyone at any time for any reason,there is no bill of rights in dating and most who complain about rejection have rejected people themselves and felt perfectly justified in doing so. | |
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| Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 11/23/2009 10:10:21 AM | | I kinda got into this discussion in another forum, and wonder why would a woman be so quick to judge a book by its cover. Of course, the never married guy is much less committment minded, and careless with his life decisions, thats why he doesn't have several failed marriagess under his belt, not to mention, the children, from the that marriage (s), oh and of course your marriage failed because it was all HIS fault. Someone probably vowed "till death do us part" and it wasn't him; Hmm whats that say about your judgement or even your promises? So why would a never married guy be interested in a DIVORCED woman? she already PROVEN she can't maintain the realtionship she vowed to hold above all else. While trite, marriage is a word written on paper, committment is in the head, heart, and character of a person. Perhaps, he may believe "marriage" encompasses much more than a ceremony, honeymoon and divorce. | |
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