| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:03:55 PM | ^^^^^ Opie, I went back and read more of this thread and I tend to agree with you on this one.
In some ways I feel relief that my children's father did not take this kind of intense interest in my kids. I'd be scared if they had. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:25:32 PM | OP is just being a father who loves his son a lot and savouring every minute he can with his son.
Good for you , OP, you are the dad for your son so you enjoy your son every second you can as your son is growing and changing fast. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:32:15 PM | As I was waiting, her father came walking down the hallway towards the room as well as myself. As soon as he seen me he charged at me with a clenched fist as I stood there hands at my sides not wanting to provoke him. When he reached me he grabbed me by the collar and neck and pushed my back to the wall and started saying that he should "KILL" me for what I did to his daughter, saying that he considers that the only way that she got pregnant was by either me raping her or poking hole in our condoms. He then started threatening to kick my ass if I didn’t leave.
Hey midget how did you get that chick pregnant? It sounds like you got her pregnant by being shady. Did you poke holes in the rubbers or something? Woman dont have a planned pregnancy with a dude then take off and try to hide from him.
Almost feel like singing and dancing!
"I'm so EXCITED, and I just can’t hide it.
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.
I'm so EXCITED, and I just can’t hide it.
If you are HAPPY and you know it, clap your hands "CLAP CLAP".
If you are HAPPY and you know it, clap your hands "CLAP CLAP".
If you are HAPPY and you know it and you really wanna SHOW IT!
If you are HAPPY and you know it, clap your hands "CLAP CLAP".
I Get to meet/see him this friday afternoon, for two hours, just him and I (and a supervisor).
If you are HAPPY and you know it, clap your hands "CLAP CLAP".
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:12:12 AM | Was the above post a joke or something?
If you had read the whole thread you'd have seen they planned this baby.. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:19:05 PM | | Wow. Some people are really mean. He came on here asking for advice. I think he was really shocked to even find out she was pregnant in the first place because she told him she got an abortion. Then after asking advice he just wanted to update everyone on what's going on. It's his life and he can post about it if he wants. Why do you care? He's not talking about u or spilling your secrets. I haven't read the entire thread but what I have read sounds like he is doing whatever he can to see his kid. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:52:27 PM |
Wow. Some people are really mean. He came on here asking for advice. I think he was really shocked to even find out she was pregnant in the first place because she told him she got an abortion. Then after asking advice he just wanted to update everyone on what's going on. It's his life and he can post about it if he wants. Why do you care? He's not talking about u or spilling your secrets. I haven't read the entire thread but what I have read sounds like he is doing whatever he can to see his kid.
Exactly! Plus, WE asked him to keep us updated. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:57:22 PM | | Perhaps I was too hasty in my judegment. I keep going back and forth on this one. I've given it some thought though. If he is truly an upstanding guy who wants to be a part of his baby's life, then that's awesome. I'm bitter, it's no secret...but there are two sides to EVERY story. And I'm curious as to what would cause a women, once she finds out she's pregnant, to go to such extremes as to lead the man to believe she had aborted the baby and hide from the man? She could be crazy, or her fears could be founded. I'm just saying... | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:00:21 PM |
Perhaps I was too hasty in my judegment. I keep going back and forth on this one. I've given it some thought though. If he is truly an upstanding guy who wants to be a part of his baby's life, then that's awesome. I'm bitter, it's no secret...but there are two sides to EVERY story. And I'm curious as to what would cause a women, once she finds out she's pregnant, to go to such extremes as to lead the man to believe she had aborted the baby and hide from the man? She could be crazy, or her fears could be founded. I'm just saying...
Or she could have fallen in love with someone else. Or her parents didn't approve of the op and demanded that she end her relationship with him. Or a million other things could possibly have happened. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:02:49 PM | Very, very true...leave it to me to jump to the negative assumption that this guy creeped her out so much that she got the hell outta Dodge. Maybe it's not as it appears to me.
Either way, I hope it works out for the best for the baby. That's what matter most. :) | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:18:20 PM |
Very, very true...leave it to me to jump to the negative assumption that this guy creeped her out so much that she got the hell outta Dodge.
LOL!!!
Maybe it's not as it appears to me.
Either way, I hope it works out for the best for the baby. That's what matter most. :)
Ditto. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:53:41 PM | | thats not true...smh...what do you know... what it could mean is she changed her mind..not saying it's right but it does happen...also there is three sides to the story hers...his and the truth... and while he sounds like a decent guy... we don't know! So you shouldn't be putting that sh!t in his head! | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:04:32 PM | i just read this whole thread and im soo happy you get to see your son, i wish EVERY father felt the way you do about your son.
i wish you didnt have to have supervised visits, and could see him every week,,
fathers give something to their kids that us moms cant.
a daughters first love is her daddy,
a sons first hero is his dad,
congrats on everything you have accomplished with getting to be in his life, i hope his mom ease's up a bit on you guys and lets it be for frequent! thank youso much for updating as much as you did, the detailed posts about ur visits brought tears to my eyes! | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:48:10 PM | | since OP is paying monthly child support and his son is 3 months old now, I am sure he will get more visits and hopefully be able to take his sons pictures too and visits will become unsupervised. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:05:18 PM | Contact your local Father's Rights group, I believe you mentioned Vancouver a few times -
The Fathers/Mothers Equal Rights Society was formed in 1997. It was founded by a small group of parents and professionals who had experienced the difficulties of arranging child custody and access first-hand. We seek to offer an alternative route through divorce proceedings.
Fathers/Mothers Equal Rights Society
P.O. Box 182
1857 West 4th Ave.
Vancouver, B.C. V6J 1M4
Canada
call: (###) ###-####
or Contact CanLaw at fathers at vcn dot bc dot ca
The Fathers/Mothers Equal Rights Society is a non-profit organization registered under the Societies Act.
(google father's rights vancouver and it is the canlaw link if this gets modded) | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:15:04 AM | since OP is paying monthly child support and his son is 3 months old now, I am sure he will get more visits and hopefully be able to take his sons pictures too and visits will become unsupervised.
You'd be surprised at how long a court can make it to where the mom has to be there during visits. I have already been given the newborn visitation schedule here for Ohio by my lawyer and it states that the majority of the visits shall be done in the mom's house until the child is 1 year old. The dad only gets to start taking Baby by himself 1 time during the week when the baby turns 6 months old, all other times are at the Mom's house. Now that schedule applies if you weren't married, if you were I don't know what it is but I imagine it would be simalar if not the same. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:12:10 AM | | This may be a naive question, but, if a man is proven by DNA to be the father, why doesn't he get 50% custody immediately? (As long as he lives in as decent a home as the mother, etc.) | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:54:23 AM |
This may be a naive question, but, if a man is proven by DNA to be the father, why doesn't he get 50% custody immediately? (As long as he lives in as decent a home as the mother, etc.)
Well there are different reasons. Some men don't want 50/50 custody, and some women won't agree to it. The courts have to have different parenting plans just in case the parents agree that they don't want 50/50 custody. Sometimes, depening on the couple and the circumstances, having the mom be the sole custodial parent works out better. Many states now are actually in favor of joint custody but if it doesn't work for a certain set of parents they won't force it on them. Actually if a set of parents can agree on what works best for them, the courts will go with that and it doesn't matter if it follows a certain set of parenting plan the court has. Courts like to see parents agreeing and working together and generally will order whatever the parents agree on. If they don't agree then that's what a court mediator is for. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:03:28 AM |
This may be a naive question, but, if a man is proven by DNA to be the father, why doesn't he get 50% custody immediately? (As long as he lives in as decent a home as the mother, etc.)
Well there are different reasons. Some men don't want 50/50 custody, and some women won't agree to it. The courts have to have different parenting plans just in case the parents agree that they don't want 50/50 custody. Sometimes, depening on the couple and the circumstances, having the mom be the sole custodial parent works out better. Many states now are actually in favor of joint custody but if it doesn't work for a certain set of parents they won't force it on them. Actually if a set of parents can agree on what works best for them, the courts will go with that and it doesn't matter if it follows a certain set of parenting plan the court has. Courts like to see parents agreeing and working together and generally will order whatever the parents agree on. If they don't agree then that's what a court mediator is for.
Why does it matter if the mother agrees or not? Isn't the child just as much the father's as the mother's? What if the father didn't agree to let the mother see the child? | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:17:28 AM | | It matters if the mom agrees because the courts want to have both parties agree, not just have it one-sided. It can't be Mom way or the highway, and it can't be Dad's way or the highway. They want to come to a compromise. It is far less expensive and stressful for parents to just agree in the first place, which is what me and my son's dad are trying to do. But if parents don't then that's what court mediators and different parenting plans are for. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:38:00 AM |
Because moms are the primary caregivers to infants and men can't breast feed. If men want to be with thier infants often they should make sure they are married to the mom before they have a baby.
I am totally in agreement with you on that point
However, does the law say that the mothers are the primary caregivers/parents?
It matters if the mom agrees because the courts want to have both parties agree, not just have it one-sided. It can't be Mom way or the highway, and it can't be Dad's way or the highway. They want to come to a compromise. It is far less expensive and stressful for parents to just agree in the first place, which is what me and my son's dad are trying to do. But if parents don't then that's what court mediators and different parenting plans are for.
It would be best, of course, for both parties to agree. But it seems as if the default position is that the child belongs to the mother more than the father. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:07:03 AM |
However, does the law say that the mothers are the primary caregivers/parents?
No. The law states that both parents shall be seen as equals. Depending on the state and what judge you have, this sometimes does not happen. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:13:42 AM | | I wish I knew your rights and could advise. It's a tragedy when kids don't have a dad. Don't give up. Contact whoever got you the ultrasound (her parents) and try to get them to help you at least talk to her. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:56:12 PM | So today I had my second first appearance before a judge today to set a date.
Right off the bat I informed the Judge that I would like to schedule a case conference (mediation with a judge). Immediately my ex opposed as she did not want to leave our son at home as she was still nursing him (yet on two occasions now, she has left him with her mother for several hours). The judge informed her that there is no reason that she couldn't bring him with her as a case conference is closed to anyone other than us.
So we were given our slip to schedule our conference.
Both her and I went to th case manager to set up a conference. We were informed that the earliest available date was November 26th, 27th, December 6th, and 7th. My ex turns to me to ask if we could schedule the conference on a Monday or Tuesday so that her mother could watch our son (she just made a big stink in from of the judge about not wanting to leave him home, them wants to schedule the conference so that she could do just that?). I asked when the earliest available Monday or Tuesday would be and was informed that Late December would be the earliest.
Not wanting all the progress that has been made thus far to mean nothing I accepted the later date.
So now is just a waiting game until then. Our Family Justice Counsellor returns from holidays this Thursday, so I am hoping that something more can be worked out in the meantime.
Fingers crossed!!! | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:30:10 PM | OP...it seems your ex is giving you a hard time and very limited time with your son.
Hopefully the judge will see all that (and how diligent you have been in paying child support monthly), and give you more days to be with your son .
Your ex is using breast feeding as an excuse but your son is growing and she could easily express the milk and you can feed your son., and thus have longer and frequent time with him. | |
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