| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:27:53 PM | I got to meet my boy, I got to meet my boy, hi -ho-a-daddy-o, I got to meet my boy!!!
WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!!
So if there 'was' ever a shadow of a doubt that he was not mine, meeting and seeing and holding him today pretty much sealed the deal.
It was like looking in the mirror. He like identical to how i did when i was his age. He has so many features of mine, it is awesome!
I can't wait to see him again. I am hoping that I can see him at court next Monday. If not then we have at least agreed that I can see him again on the 31st.
I also gave the ex (well the intake worker to pass on to the ex) two months child support today as well.
So much energy now, I don't know what to do?! I feel like bouncing off of walls!
But for the thirteenth time for those who are going to keep bring this up, no matter what, a Paternity test is going to be done. I have just had to wait for a court order in order to do it. So it should be done within the next two weeks. Just to cross the 'T's' and dot the 'i's'!
Unfortunately the service provider would not allow for any pictures to be taken of my son and I until we go through court for some reason. Grrrrrrrrr But they did ask that my ex take plenty of pictures of him for me to have so that I don’t miss out on too much. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:00:49 PM | | OP...congrats...I am extremely happy for you...enjoy your son...you are already a good dad and the rest will come easy now. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:51:47 PM | So I had my first court appearance today in hopes to have a case conference scheduled and an interim access order done up allowing for more frequent visits.
The judge decided that due to how young my son is that he was not comfortable allowing this matter to go before the courts at this point in time.
He said that for the time being he would like us to continue with mediation to try to come to an agreement together.
So, for the time being I am only allowed 1 two hour supervised visit every two weeks.
To top things off, I went to speak with the mediator right after court to see what can be done with things to move ahead, at which point she advised me that at the end of this week, she is off for three weeks, so there is not to be any change for our next court appearance which is the end of next month.
So it looks like I will be able to see him for three more visits before the next court date.
If we have to go to a case conference it looks like no decision will be made until late October early November.
***SINCE LAST UPDATE, PATERNITY HAS BEEN CONFIRMED THAT I AM INDEED 100% THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER*** | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/27/2009 3:11:13 PM | | I'm so glad you are the dad, but I am heart broken over how slowly the court is moving on this. You need a better lawyer, this needs to go all the way to the supreme court, to get a landmark decision so men can have a decent shot of being with their own children. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/27/2009 4:43:51 PM | OP...so happy that you are indeed the dad.
however, not fair that you dont get much time with your son at this time.
you do need a lawyer who will get you more visits and why do you need supervised visits?
you are missing out on your sons everyday life by having limited visits. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:09:40 PM | CONGRATULATIONS!!!
just caught up with what ive missed, and im so glad that things have turned out well with the visitation and dna testing!!
hopefully when the mediator gets back to wrok, things can be settled further!!
xx | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/31/2009 1:26:43 AM | OP...very glad that you can see and take pictures of your son.
Patience is a virtue and hopefully as weeks go by you will get unsupervised frequent visits with him.
Just have to focus on the positive and enjoy and love him. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 7/31/2009 8:20:02 AM | Okay this may not be the situation at all but it sounds to me like in the beginning she may have cheated on you and THEN found out she was pregnant and maybe she was going to have an abortion because she wasn't aware of who the father was.
I mean what else could her reasons be for TRYING to get pregnant and then thinking about aborting the pregnancy?
I have assumptions as to why she didn't maybe she just had a change of heart but didn't want to tell you because she's still unsure of who the father is? ALTHOUGH if she got pregnant last september with your child, she was have given birth in June sometime....
For her to be 7 and a half months pregnant now she would have gotten pregnant in January of this year.
So maybe she did have an abortion because this is a whole different child than the one concieved in September of last year. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:11:03 PM | | As soon as she gives birth YOU have the right to go to the court house and request a visitation order to see your son. This will also result in a child support case. Good luck! | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:20:06 PM |
The judge decided that due to how young my son is that he was not comfortable allowing this matter to go before the courts at this point in time.
OK, I am having a hard time comprehending this one..Are you saying that the judge felt your child was too young to order longer visits so he just decided you'd get to see the baby 2 times a week?
When I first read it it kind of sounded like the judge was saying he didn't want to have this case in court at this time due to the child's age..But then you said u get the two supervised visits. Are they supervised by your ex?
I am glad you took the visits the court ordered, albeit it is not the ideal situation for you but it is in your son's best interest otherwise the judge wouldn't have ordered it. Some men have a hissy fit when they don't get what they want in court. Just keep continuing those supervised visits, if you don't do them you will never get unsupervised visits. Not saying I think you won't do them, I am sure you will. Just be careful not to miss any of them so she can't use that against you. | |
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Posted: 8/16/2009 3:22:48 PM | DETAILED VISIT REPORT
Parent: Justin **********
Date of Visit: Aug 14, 2009
Time of Visit: 4:00-6:00p.m.
Location: ************************
Supervisor: **************************
4:00
Visit began on time. **** was asleep when he was brought in to see dad. Dad said he could read **** a book this visit. Dad sat on the couch next to **** and watched him sleep.
4:15
**** remained asleep in his car seat. Dad continued to watch ****. Dad said that **** had long eye lashes like him. Dad talked to **** as he slept and said that **** had been sick the last visit but was looking much better now.
4:30
**** opened his eyes at 4:35. Dad asked **** if he recognized his voice. Dad said “hi buddy.” Dad told **** he had such a cute smile. **** began to whimper. Dad told **** it was okay. Dad took **** out of the car seat and laid him down on a blanket. Dad changed ****’s diaper. Dad used a wipe on **** as he changed his diaper. Dad told **** again that it was okay. **** stopped whimpering. After changing ****’s diaper, dad wrapped **** up in the blanket and held him in his arms.
4:45
**** cried a little. Dad took a pacifier out of the diaper bag and put it in ****’s mouth. **** started sucking on the pacifier. Dad walked around with **** in his arms and gently rocked him. **** began crying again. Dad said **** must be hungry since **** was last fed at 2:30. **** was then taken to his mother to be fed at 4:50.
5:00
**** was still in the other room being fed by his mother.
5:15
**** was brought back to dad at 5:22. **** was drooling so dad put a bib on ****. Dad told **** he was going to read him his favourite book. Dad told **** that the book was called “Love You Forever” by Robert Munch. Dad held **** in his arms and walked around the room with him as he read the book. **** whimpered a little so dad told **** he would read the rest of the book to him another time. Dad continued to walk around the room and gently rocked ****. Dad put the soother in ****’s mouth and **** calmed down.
5:30
Dad asked **** if he was comfy and nice and warm. Dad continued to walk around the room with **** in his arms. **** whimpered. Dad asked **** what the matter was and said it was okay. Dad put his finger into ****’s mouth. Dad had washed his hands during the visit.
5:45
Dad continued to walk around the room with **** in his arms. **** was calm and relaxed. Dad looked at **** as he was in his arms. Dad smiled down at him. When it was time to go dad put **** into his car seat. Dad gave **** a kiss on the forehead and said he would see him in two weeks. **** was then returned back to his mother.
6:00
Visit ended. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 4:22:56 PM | I have tears in my eyes. That was beautiful, thank-you for sharing.
It's so unfair that you get so little time with your own child. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:26:47 PM | I got to meet my boy, I got to meet my boy, hi -ho-a-daddy-o, I got to meet my boy!!!
I've come in late to this thread. I've read the last couple of pages. Your detailed visit report has me choked up. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. I hope the mediation goes well.  | |
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Posted: 8/16/2009 5:33:58 PM | Congratulations!!!
All else I can say is go for at least 50% custody since you'll be paying child support and for the fact that you want this child. No parent (father) should be kept from a child if they want to participate in raising it(unless abusive of course).
My roommate has 50% custody of his son and I helped him get it. I cannot believe how people behave (mother and her family) when the father wants so badly to be in his child's life and does everything in his power to do so. I've already sat through 2 visits from child protective services as well as witnessing the tripe put in the summons for custody. Fortunately, dedication to the child in my household stands up to the challenges.
I hope to God that your baby's mother and grandparents respect your rights towards and feelings for this child. For as many fathers who run from their children and that responsibility, everything possible must be done to see that those fathers who want their children be given equal rights as the mother.
Good luck my dear, you will need all your wits and any support you can get from friends and family to get through this. I wish you the best!!! | |
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Posted: 8/16/2009 6:16:31 PM | DETAILED VISIT REPORT (1st time meeting, seeing and holding him)
Parent: Justin **********
Date of Visit: July 17, 2009
Time of Visit: 4:00-6:00p.m.
Location: *********************
Supervisor: **********************
4:00
Dad arrived on time. **** was brought in to visit. Dad was informed that just before visit began ****’s diaper had been changed. Dad held **** and said he had blue eyes. Dad said it looked like **** had his nose and small feet. **** sucked on his thumb. Dad sat on couch holding **** in his arms. **** was quiet and relaxed in dad’s arms. Dad said he wished he could take a picture with ****.
4:15
Dad moved **** in a different position so that **** was lying on dad’s lap facing him. Dad supported ****’s head with his hand. **** began to cry. Dad asked what the matter was. Dad put his finger in ****’s mouth and **** sucked on it. **** stopped crying. Dad took his finger out of ****’s mouth. **** began to cry again. Dad rubbed ****’s back. Then dad put **** into the car seat. **** continued to cry. Dave came into the room and suggested rocking **** in the car seat. **** stopped crying. Dad continued to rock **** back and forth in the car seat. **** remained calm.
4:30
Dad took **** out of the car seat and rocked him back and forth in his arms. Dad walked around the room with ****. Dad changed the position that he was holding ****. **** began to cry again. Dad put **** back into the position he was in before. Dad told **** it was okay and continued to rock him. Then **** stopped crying. **** fell asleep in dad’s arms. Dad continued to walk around the room holding ****. Dad watched **** sleeping. Then dad sat down on couch with **** in his arms.
4:45
Dad gently rocked **** as he continued to sleep. Dad talked to **** while he was sleeping and told him he had lots of other cousins that wanted to meet and play with him. Dad said that **** had two other cousins who were born on the same day as ****. Dad continued to watch **** sleep. Dad said he could hear **** snore.
5:00
Dad told **** it was the best birthday present to get to see him. Dad said his birthday was the day before. **** was still asleep in dad’s arms.
5:15
**** opened his eyes. Dad asked **** if he had a good snooze. **** looked around the room. **** closed his eyes again. Then **** woke up. Dad said he thought ****’s diaper needed to be changed. Dad put **** down on the ground and changed his diaper. Then dad picked **** up and walked around the room with him. Dad had brought a story book and told **** that he would read it to him later. **** yawned.
5:30
Dad continued to walk around the room with **** in his arms. **** sucked on dad’s finger. **** began to cry. Dad told **** it was okay and rubbed his back. Dad tried to rock **** back and forth. **** continued to cry. Then **** was taken to his mother to be fed.
5:45
Dad wrote a cheque for $600 and gave it to Dave to be given to mom. Dad asked if an agreement could be made on the next date of visit. Mom and dad agreed to do the next visit on July 31 from 4-6p.m.
6:00
Visit ended. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 6:18:31 PM |
I imagine you will make a wonderful father and a much better woman.
I fixed this quote. Seriously, in the nicest way possible, you have some deep seeded emotional issues. If you act this much like a women in real life, it is no wonder she left you. Just be happy she wanted to your kid at all, I would have elected to go to the sperm bank, or find some random attractive guy who possesses all of the features needed in a man. I really hope you elect to go to counseling for yourself, because otherwise you will be nothing but destructive to this child. And finally, I have serious questions and concerns as to why you seek validation for all of this from strangers on an online dating website. Perhaps mommy didnt hold you enough as a child, and daddy wasnt there? I do not know, but get help... seriously .
So true I agree. I feel sorry for the poor woman who got impregnated by you. But she must have serious issues to have an out of wedlock child with a 5'3 midget fem man. I bet you wish you had tits so you could breast feed it. She should of had the abortion, now she will have to deal with a wierd obssessive stalker fem midget baby daddy for the next 18 years. | |
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| PLANNED PREGNANCY GONE........????
Posted: 8/16/2009 6:39:44 PM | DETAILED VISIT REPORT (Second Visit)
Parent: Justin **********
Date of Visit: July 31, 2009
Time of Visit: 4:00-6:00p.m.
Location: *********************
Supervisor: **********************
Dad came in and washed his hands a soon as he came in. Dave told Dad that mom will provide a pacifier for the **** because of last visit dad was putting his finger in ****’s mouth.
4:04-4:15 **** came in with Dave in the car seat. Dad rocked **** back and forth in the car seat. Dad said he was closing his eyes. **** started to cry and dad took him out of the car seat. Dad tried the pacifier. **** would not take the pacifier. Dad stood up with him and walked around the room and **** quieted down. Dad talked to **** and said that is the first smile I’ve seen. **** started to cry again and dad tried to give him his pacifier. **** would not take it. Dad laid **** down and changed his diaper. **** had soiled his diaper. **** cried until his new diaper was put on and dad stroked his finger on his stomach. **** was quiet. Dad went to throw the diaper away and washed his hands. Dad asked about taking pictures. Dave said no. Dad said maybe next time. Dad said I want pictures of you because you are changing ever time. Mom told Dave that **** was fed at 3:40. **** quieted down as dad rocked him in the car seat.
4:15-4:30 Dad whispered to **** as he walked around with the car seat. Dad said I wish I could take pictures of your smile. Dad continued rocking **** in the car seat and he was opening and closing his eyes.
4:30-4:45 Dad took **** out of the car seat and walked around patting his bottom. **** opened his eyes and looked around. Dad walked around for a few minutes and then **** started to cry. Dad put him in the car seat and walked around. Dad talked in a low voice and said its okay. Dad tried rocking on the ground and **** started to cry. Dad rocked **** until he fell asleep.
4:45-5:00 Dad sat on the couch with the car seat on his lap and looked at **** as he slept. **** grunted and stretched out his arms. Dad said, “Were you dreaming?” **** started to cry and dad put his finger in his mouth and he sucked on it and quieted down. **** cried after a few minutes and dad stood up and rocked his car seat.
5:00-5:20 Dad sat with car seat on his lap and continued rocking with his finger in the ****’s mouth. **** slept.
5:20-5:35 **** woke up and dad took him out of the car seat and still had his finger in his mouth. **** cried as dad took his finger out. Supervisor suggested that he is probably getting hungry. Babies usually drink every two hours. Dad told the supervisor that you probably know better. Dad said, I’ll wait a few minutes and then I will send him over. Dad walked around with him. **** started closing his eyes.
5:35-5:54 Supervisor took **** over to mom to breast feed.
5:54-6:00 Mom was burping ****. Mom said dad could burp him. Supervisor took **** over to Dad. Dad patted ****’s back and he took a burp. **** smiled as Dad talked to him. Dad changed ****’s wet diaper. The next agreed visit is set for Aug 14th and 28th from 4:00pm-6:00pm with Dad. Dad wrote a cheque for $300 and gave it to Dave to be given to mom. | |
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