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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 74
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what does finding yourself meanPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
What it often means is someone wants to go back in time and relive their high school days and experience things they missed out on in their teen years and correct stupid mistakes that teens make. They don't realized there is no time machine to wipe out the present and project them into the past. They are looking for a fairy tale fantasy where they can change past mistakes that they think will make them happy in adulthood.

I've seen it happen a couple of times and finding themselves never makes them any happier than before. Sometimes they try to relive the past by having new lovers, but after the initial excitement and high school type of infatuation, they end up realizing that didn't make them any happier after all, so the never ending journey continues in the search of la la land where everyone is happy and carefree. I have no use for someone who would leave a committed relationship and family in search of a psychotic fantasy.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 75
what does finding yourself mean
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:13:21 PM

He was not blindsided, comon, he knew there was a problem for 4 years! that's a long time to ignore issues and hope they go away.


sure he may have known there was a problem 4 years earlier, but unless she tells him what the problem is he has no choice but to assume everything will work out.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
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what does finding yourself mean
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:37:19 PM
He was not blindsided, comon, he knew there was a problem for 4 years! that's a long time to ignore issues and hope they go away.


In addition to what free4all said, he might have recognized a problem, but he can't do anything until she is willing to get help and be part of the solution to the problem. A lot of people who have mental issues don't consider themselves as having the problem. They think it's everybody else who has the problems.

In the last year I was married, my ex's personality changed and she became very paranoid and suspected almost everyone of plotting to get her (whatever that meant)-even long time friends and certain family members. To make matters worse, she was a very vengeful person always out for revenge and she did a lot of crazy sh1t trying to get even at these people who she suspected of plotting. Like the OP, I knew something wasn't right. I tried talking to her and used reasoning to convince her there was no plots to get her. But she wouldn't have any of that and started accusing me of being in on the plots because I wouldn't support her actions. So recognizing a problem doesn't always lead to a solution.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 77
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what does finding yourself mean
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:40:21 PM
Generally it means find them self with someone else.
sorry.
 Kevin21385
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 78
what does finding yourself mean
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:59:42 PM
I mean you never felt like you wre the one going all out you couldn't detct her drifting? That's crap I bet you did and went full force on the pleasing only to get her to leave you repsectfully, I bet your not shocked at all all u need to care about ow is she's gone period bye.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 79
what does finding yourself mean
Posted: 11/21/2011 8:41:48 PM
I still dont know who i am.. where does one find them self?
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