| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:51:17 AM | | It's not a mandatory requirement. However it is good manners and common courtesy to say thanks whenever another person does something positive for you. Whether it's buying a meal or just simply holding the door open. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:03:15 AM | not only do I thank her for paying, I leave the waitress a tip....and my phone number!!  JK JK
I never allow the lady to pay, unless she requests to do so. Thank you is easy to say, and manners will surely improve the chances of.....well, you get the picture!! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:47:17 AM | Simply put: some women are arrogant twats with an air of" entitlement" .. in which "paying" is something that you are expected to do for the "pleasure" of their company ....and therefore you should be grateful for the privilege.. No *thanks* needed right? ugh...
Even, when a stranger hold a door opens for me, I say thankyou- its automatic. And sadly its not just women.... I have even held the door open for men( read: pr*cks) who arrogantly strolled by without a thought.. Its the world we now live in
Some people have no home training or manners and when it happens OP, see it as what it is - a character flaw ... Opt out | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 12:26:30 PM | I said:
However, if I thought the thank you was expected, I probably wouldn't say it.
Optimistically Cynical replied:
/Really??? Good manners are optional in your world? Good manners define you.
If someone expects something in return for a kind act or dinner, then the return of the kindness IS the thank you. If I am unaware that the dinner was his treat because he expects sex, then he doesn't deserve a "thanks." If he doesn't get the sex, then will he be happy with my polite, "Thank you"?
If I am a thankless person in some scenarios, I can easily live with that.
DJ Chickie wrote:
I'd either pay my half of the bill or politely decline the offer altogether if I detected this sort of attitude.
Exactly! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 12:33:42 PM | Sepia777 wrote:
Simply put: some women are arrogant twats with an air of" entitlement" .. in which "paying" is something that you are expected to do for the "pleasure" of their company ....and therefore you should be grateful for the privilege..
Let's put the shoe on the other foot:
Simply put: some men are arrogant twats with an air of "entitlement" in which a return of sex or other physical contact is something they expect for their "thoughtfulness" and "money" they put into buying dinner or a gift . . . and women should be grateful for what they are given. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 12:49:27 PM | Saying thank you is not only good manners, it is a measure of a person.
People who feel they are "entitled" to things merely because they exist are self centered individuals. That being said, why would you date them? | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:07:56 PM |
People who feel they are "entitled" to things merely because they exist are self centered individuals. That being said, why would you date them?
In this world of internet dating, one cannot detect all the qualities, quirks or faults of a person until meeting.
Again, I am quite liberal with my "thank yous," but also again, I had a date with a man who tried to paw me in the restaurant and when I refused to let him do so, he divided the check. Had I allowed him to feel me up, I guarantee that he would have picked up the tab. Had he paid, I further guarantee that he would have expected a payment for his payment.
And had he paid, he would NOT have been deserving of sex or a "thanks"--or maybe I could have said, "Thanks for a horrible evening."
Eh?
But no, if a man was so self centered as to be out of balance, there wouldn't be a second date. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:16:32 PM | ^^^^^^^
And had he paid, he would NOT have been deserving of sex or a "thanks"--or maybe I could have said, "Thanks for a horrible evening."
I never said that you should thank a groping jerk. Sometimes the requirement for courtesy is superseded by common sense. For the record, I also don't expect people to thank traffic cops for speeding tickets. | |
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Javex
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Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 38 | |
| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:34:09 PM | I was raised to be polite. However I confess that, when I was younger, I did not always thank someone for dinner. And yes, part of me comes from old money. Selfish, self absorbed, clueless, drunk, whatever. But most of the time I was, and am, polite. Before you focus in on the one gaffe, look at the big picture. In general, is your date considerate and courteous? That speaks more than this clutzy oversight. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:49:54 PM | Yes you should expect a thank you.
I hate money dates as well. On a first date I will usually be like ill take care of tickets you get first round and that usually goes over well.
This is a mutual site, both want a date both pay.
If you ask a girl out you pay,
I am not made of money you know.
After a long relationship I dated till I realized i was wasting money. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:06:53 PM | I've been totally shocked as to how many women I've taken to dinner/lunch have never said "thank you". Some times I think wouldn't it be nice to even hear them say, "hey, could I buy you a drink for the wonderful dinner tonight?".
I even had one say "hey Rick, how about going out for a movie and dinner, I'll pay for the movie, you pay for dinner". $7.50 vs $60-100.My thoughts...BS. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:26:48 PM | why on earth are you paying for the dates???
This is the new milleneum...a modern, progressive woman worth her salt is never going to expect you to pay for the first date...let alone dare to not be graceful should you choose to insist... | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:32:25 PM | You missed the OP's point. It was not a matter of them owing him anything. It was a matter of common courtesy and manners. Simply put it someone buys you something or extends you a courtesy you do owe them a thank you. It is just good manners and common courtesy to do so.
No I didn't miss his point. He thinks he is owed something even if it is just a thank you. If you can't do something without expecting anything out of it then don't do it. We don't owe anyone a thank you. Sure it's a nice polite thing to do but it's not something that you owe anyone. When you owe someone something then this is something you must do and being nice and polite is not something anyone has to do.
Good manners are optional in your world?
Good manners are optional, period! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:37:51 PM | I wonder if you'd say that if you paid for the date...
Wow dude read my post. I always pay my own way on dates. And just because good manners are not required does not mean I don't say thank you and please. I am just trying to get the point across that no one is owed good manners or politeness. Many times you will not get it so why set yourself up to be disappointed. If I do something for someone it is because I wanted to do it not because I expected a pat on the back or a thank you. Sure it's nice to be thanked, but it shouldnt' be the motivation for good deeds. The good deed in itself should be reward enough. If it is not then don't do it. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 3:08:11 PM | let's see.....my parents were married 50 years. to the best of my recollection, my father always said "thank you" to my mother whenever we had all shared a meal together. she always thanked him for the many things he did.
I always thank my dates for dinner and for a wonderful evening, in general. what's wrong with showing your appreciation? good manners never go out of style, no matter how rich, poor, elegant or whatever you are, and the length of the relationship shouldn't matter, either. JMO | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:16:22 PM | | if they aren't saying thank you then they are just rude...they should be saying thank you whether or not they like you..maybe you should try going out with women who aren't so wealthy, they maybe more appreciative of what you have to offer. Not to mention if you are just meeting to see if things click you really shouldn't be spending alot of money on the first meeting..it should be something simple-that's my opionion at least other women may differ with what i am saying and you might want to be careful that they aren't just after your wallet! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:22:34 PM | pirateheaven wrote:
I never said that you should thank a groping jerk.
Actually, your earlier post said:
Saying thank you is not only good manners, it is a measure of a person.
This indicates that if I, or anyone, doesn't say "thanks," it makes us less of a civilized person--it gives no leeway for the jerks of the world.
The only reason I am "harping" on this is because people give blanket answers for every condition, but there are caveats to every scenario.
And if MOST of the women the OP has dated never said "thank you," he obviously dates the wrong type of woman. He says that:
I've mainly dated girls from a wealthier background Why does he date them? He must be getting some return for the money he spends. Maybe he should date a poor but thankful woman! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:59:22 PM | Good manners are optional in your world? Good manners are optional, period!
I must respectfully disagree. IMHO, a consistent lack of good manners shows a general disregard and lack of consideration for fellow humans. And that is something I find to be sad, disheartening and unacceptable.
To me, good manners are not optional. They are required. Both on my part and on the part of the people I associate with. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:00:57 PM | I say thank you for everything....... if u buy me a 25 cent back of gum... Thank you.
I say thank you when doors are opened, when time is taken out a busy schedule, when wealked to my car.... for everything. But of course I was raised with manners. | |
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