| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:12:29 AM | Of course one should thank someone for treating them.
My husband and i always, mutually thanked each other, anytime one of us took the other out, even after we had been settled into marriage and family life.
Never taking things for granted keeps the respect and passion alive.
Plus its just simple respect and decency. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/5/2009 7:46:13 AM | "Maybe I'm old fashioned, but this person makes my skin crawl. I am so glad I've never come across him in the dating world. I'd give up and get some cats if all men were like this."
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Maybe you feel that way because you felt accused? Don't worry. I'd rather date my friend's dog before you in that case. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/5/2009 7:48:05 AM | | Any thing that a women does to let me know she's grateful and not using me is really wonderful. My last girlfriend offered to pay on the second date because she felt bad and wasn't materialistic. I told neither was I so I don't mind paying. Really it's not about money or getting something in return. I just like making women happy. If I ever found out the girl I was dating was using me I'd drop her then and there. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 4:01:32 AM | [The thing is dude. YOU set the tone for these interactions. If you set the tone where the are expecting this things and don't even thank you, YOU DID THAT.]
Outmind, this is something that I'm really interested in, and would love some more elaboration or details. I like the idea of asking her to pay for drinks, while I pay for the meal. Do you have any more thoughts on how to avoid setting up this tone? Or, how I may be setting it up now? If there is something that I'm doing to create this sense of entitlement in them (besides, obviously, paying the bill without hesitation when it comes), I would like to become aware of it.
I was thinking of this exact subject before, but didn't put it in the original posting.
Thanks again for your response--it was very useful. And thanks to the other responders as well!
Nick | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 4:28:46 AM | | Polite ladies with good manners will always say thank you and offer to pay their way at least, however you should not pay the bill just to expect people to be very gracious towards you afterwards, it is because *you* wish to. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 8:27:41 AM | All thru a 4 year relationship...everytime my partner bought me a meal..or coffee...anything..or vice versa..we always said thankyou.
After a marriage of many years...I was tired of being taken for granted....there is no reason to NOT thank someone .. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 9:15:09 AM | | First, I always offer to pay my share on a date. Men rarely, if ever, accept. In fact, there was only one instance within the past two years when a man asked me to split the check. That said, I always, ALWAYS follow up with a thank you, especially if a man has taken me on an expensive date. Even if I know there was no "love connection," and I realize we probably won't see each other again, I believe that's the proper thing to do. I will dash off a short, neutral e-mail simply saying it was nice meeting them, and thanks for the lovely dinner, or something along those lines. Most men are pleasantly surprised because they're not accustomed to women doing this. As others on here have pointed out, manners are in short supply in the world in general, not just the dating arena. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:37:24 AM | | I always thank someone for their time. It isn't the money, but the fact that they wanted to spend time with me that I am thankful for, secondary is the meal etc. I get upset when I do say thank you in person to someone and I don't feel a connection and don't email a thank you and they complain. Some people push the thank you too far. When a date is over and you say thank you, that is it. Nothing else is required according to etiquette. If you or your date wants to see you again, then you email, otherwise, no thank you or follow up email is necessary. I am not sure where this crap started with men expecting emails after a date. What did the guys do before we had computers? We called if we wanted to see them again or saw them in person, things haven't changed. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:58:18 AM | People are people so I "expect" nothing in return.
I do as I do because I chose to, not for any other reason. So doing as I do is it's own reward. Even if others do not acknowledge it. I'm good with me.
I may have missed a thank you, or offering of thanks and not even realized it. So I try not to jump to conclusions right away. I will simply take note of it and see if the lack of response is repeated again.
If it's repeated again then I simply stop seeing the person. It's really that easy and drama free! No need to worry or complain, just simply move on.
If something like this is really that offencive, I would have to say "check your motives". | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:42:29 PM | Doesn't this come down to the self centeredness of today's society?
Some say that if a "thank you" is demanded it should not be offered?
Others say that if someone gives another "something" a thank you is required.
To the OP; since some of the posters don't agree that a thank you is polite....Maybe the best option is to not supply such a generous finacial offering on a "date".
Anyway, what is a date. The opportunity to;
1) Impress the female with your finacial prowess.
2) The opportunity to impress a female with your, character, intelligence, yadda, yadda .
Opening a door
Pulling out a chair
Asking for a peck (kiss...maybe on the cheek) on the first date
Acting like a gentleman.
If I act like a gentleman and you don't respond to me in a positive way....
well, walk on.
Maybe you are for someone else...but not for me.
Best of luck to you! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:16:24 PM | | "Thank you" is a sign of manners which is a side of good character. I always say thank you. However, once you have been with someone a while, and hopefully are taking turns paying for them, it then becomes a little more understood and is not as important. Not that manners are ever not important....but I think you get it. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:31:05 PM | I think it really depends on the date, and how many you have with them.
If you take them out and treat them with disrespect or talk about sex (when they don't want to) or in any way make them feel uncomfortable, afraid, or violated...then no, I don't think you should expect a "thank you."
Or maybe they are really really into you, but really really nervous.
In either case I think it would be expected they might forget the pleasantries as their mind is occupied.
If after several dates they never say thank you, then I would assume they are generally impolite or have feelings of entitlement. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/8/2009 11:01:09 AM | | I believe that if a man pays for dinner, a movie.....or even cotton candy that he deserves a simple thank you to say the least. I mean I know when I pay I want someone to atleast say thank you or give me a sweet kiss on the cheek. But trust me, I can speak my mind when it comes to those matters. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/8/2009 11:04:54 AM | | i try and pay my own way if i can, some guys refuse to let me even if i insist(my best friend is one of these kinda guys) but if they do pay whether it be date or friend i ALWAYS say thankyou i could never be so horrendously bad mannered as to not!! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/8/2009 3:54:17 PM | I think that not thanking someone is just rude. Even if you didn't spend any money at all, I'd thank you for the nice time. It's just common courtesy!
People who don't thank someone for "whatever" probably have an entitlement mentality and just figure you owe them whatever you did for them. Not thanking you (IMO) is a sign of someone who, despite "wealthier backgrounds" didn't have half an upbringing, let alone any class, and those are two things that money can't buy. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/8/2009 10:13:33 PM | Manners are always in with me. Of course people should say thank you. Sadly, many people under a certain ago or from certain areas have never been taught the importance of manners and etiquette in general. I am amongst a few, who still write thank you notes for gifts and kindness shown me. It's also why many companies who hire college graduates who may be dining with clients, now requite etiquette classes. Dining with someone who uses the fork like a shovel to eat is not attractive.
(laughing) Was married for years and still laugh when I think how I told my husband how great he was and ...thank you, after sex. He loved it! | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:29:29 PM | | I think no matter what economic situation the woman is in, she should say thank you. The same goes for opening doors etc. Of course I can open my own door, but having a man open a door for me is a sign of courtesy. It makes me feel special. I open doors for others too. A big smile and a thank you go a long way. It is such a simple thing to do and yet it can make someone's day. Sigh..it only we all just quit worrying so much about ourselves and took a second to think of others. :) | |
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