| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:52:36 AM | My guess is that you are going to get a bunch of replies from females that say they always thank a man who buys them something. Note that they are in the minority.
Many females, at least in the United States, are so enamored with themselves that they think men should shower them with whatever the female wants and they think men should see this as a privilege.
Use this as a way of weeding out the crabgrass. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:17:03 AM | I think yes, you should expect a thank you. Sure, it's common manners, but not everyone was raised the same way. I think that you need to find someone who shares your views on things like manners because it makes the relationship flow better in the end.
Good luck :) | |
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DNici
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Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 154 | |
| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:28:27 AM | | I think it's just the women you're dating. I was always taught to say "please" and "thank you." Obviously it's important to you. So if she can't be appreciative, then she is not what you are looking for. And this isn't just a female thing or an age thing. There are people like that in every age group, in both sexes. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:32:39 AM | | If you can't do something for someone else without the expectation of something,even a thank you, then don't do it at all. The fact that you are "annoyed" by someone not saying thank you for a meal you paid for suggest that you are only doing things for others for selfish reasons. To do things for others out of the goodness of your heart would mean that you expect nothing in return,even a thank you.Yes it is the polite thing to do to say thank you, but don't expect it of others if your reasons for doing nice things is truly selfless. If they are not selfless then just say so and tell others that you expect something for the things you do for them. I don't expect a thank you or anything at all when I do something nice for someone else because I do these things because it makes me feel good just to do something nice for someone else. Sure a thank you is nice, but I don't require or expect it. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 2:15:05 PM | ^^^^Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Entitlement queen to the north of me! ^^^^
Thankfully I always pay my own way so this,"you owe me something" ,type of mentality never can come up.
The man would simply like to be noticed for putting both his heart and money on the line on behalf of his date. If he bought her a pack of nabs and a fresca the response should be the same. If she were to pay... the response should be the same. Say fvcking thank you! It means "I noticed." It does not mean anybody owes anyone a damn thing.
If you can't do something for someone else without the expectation of something,even a thank you, then don't do it at all. The fact that you are "annoyed" by someone not saying thank you for a meal you paid for suggest that you are only doing things for others for selfish reasons. To do things for others out of the goodness of your heart would mean that you expect nothing in return,even a thank you.Yes it is the polite thing to do to say thank you, but don't expect it of others if your reasons for doing nice things is truly selfless. If they are not selfless then just say so and tell others that you expect something for the things you do for them. I don't expect a thank you or anything at all when I do something nice for someone else because I do these things because it makes me feel good just to do something nice for someone else. Sure a thank you is nice, but I don't require or expect it.
No one has a right to expect a thing. The only thing an ungrateful person can expect, be it female or male, is a decreasing chance for a second date.
Chivalry died when Grace walked out the door. It is a dance people. One I see most understand after scanning this thread . | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:22:18 PM | Depends on what your version of thankyou is... lol
nah seriously - good manners don't cost anything, so the answer is yes, it's appropriate to thank someone - ANYONE who shouts you a meal.
I always do, having been taught to say 'thankyou', 'excuse me' , 'pardon me' etc
I do wonder where good manners have gone..none the less I am teaching my sons the good manners I was taught. Hopefully it will make a comeback. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:00:33 PM | I always offer to pay my own way, at least on a first meeting or date. If he says "No, I have it," I immediately say "Thank you".
I am honestly surprised that in this day and age, women are not offering to pay their own way or at least contribute. Maybe when you are out with one of these women you should say, "I've got the check, you can cover the tip" and see how they respond...
Nobody should ever leave a date feeling like they owe the other person anything. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:04:41 PM | I'd say YES, a thank you is in order.
Maybe you pick those high maintenance girls that think you "owe them"?
Or maybe you pick those other ones that are rich brats that think they deserve it all?
If a guy opens the door for me, I would say thank you. Its just plain and simple good manners. If they buy me a soda, I would say thank you as well.
Thank you makes people feel good....it shows appreciation for an action. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/12/2009 5:45:45 PM | | When I take a woman out (something that literally happens once in a blue moon) I don't expect a thank you, kiss my tushie or anything. I am enjoying their company and I hope they are enjoying mine and that is all the thanks that I require. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/12/2009 8:09:46 PM | | Why would you expect a thank you? My grandmother always told me "Do because you want to do, not because you expect recognition". It's always been my way to pay for a date. Sometimes there's a thank you, and others there's not. Most of the time just the girl being there with me is thank you enough. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/12/2009 10:02:43 PM | this has been a strange thread to read... somehow the word "expect" indicates "entitlement"
I "expect" a lot from relationships, including friendships. But it's a two-way street. I expect my bf to show appreciation and to say "thank you" to me... likewise, I thank him for things he does for me, and strive to let him know how much I appreciate him. Taking each other for granted will kill a relationship. What I don't expect is for him to spend money on me...but I do expect him to be honest and caring
on first dates I have "expected" men to show that they have good manners......I have never expected anyone to buy me dinner, and think that first dates should be something modest. Of course, I cannot force people to be polite, but I expect it, it's a standard that I won't lower.
OP shouldn't lower his standards.. perhaps the women you are dating are too immature. These women should be thanking you for the evening, etc. If they aren't saying it as you are paying for the cheque, then they should be thanking you when you say good-night | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/12/2009 10:16:47 PM | | Absolutely you should be thanked - it's totally rude! Perhaps if someone was caught up in the moment and forgot to say it - They should call you, e-mail, text..whatever and say thank you - regardless if they enjoyed the date or not AND regardless of their financial status. It's very sweet and thoughtful of you to pay for the date or things or whatever your buying - I'd be careful about the buying things for your dates, no "thank you's" could be about people out there just looking to use people or having this sense of entitlement - so it's beyond them to say "thanks" because they don't have an appreciation for generosity and good heartedness. You can't buy your dates, that shouldn't be why people are attracted to you, unless that's ok with you??? | |
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Conrae
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Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 167 | |
| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:47:51 PM | | depends on how they were raised. i was raised to say thank you, so i would expect it even from myself to say thank you and thank you for taking me on this date. it's the same vise versa, if i paid for dinners and/or little nick nacks along the way i'd like to hear a thank you as well. just common curtesy (well to me and others that understand where i'm coming from). | |
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alv2.0
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Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 168 | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:38:38 PM | | I agree with you. I went out with this woman on a First Date. I bought her a drink, she never thanked me for that. We then went to dinner and had a drink there. The bill came I payed but she never said anything. At the end of the night she said it was a pleasure meeting me and i tried to give her a kiss but she turned her cheek, I will never go out with this person again. | |
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LBA26
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Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 170 | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:49:06 PM | | I don't think I've ever not hear a date say thank you to me for picking the bill. However, if I don't get a thank you, I would not mind. I'll note it and watch the person to determine if the person is just generally ungrateful. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 9/12/2009 9:23:16 PM | | of course wealth has something to do with it. to them its like why should they say thanks.in their perpective they're doing YOU a favor by letting you pay for it and so maybe u should b the one thanking them lol. its twisted but reality of how some people think | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:08:11 AM | I think they should not only say thank you at the end of the dinner (or during if it comes up naturally in the conversation) but also at the end of the date for the date in it's entirety.
And then, when they get home they should send off a quick thank you in writing at the earliest opportunity.
Normally that's what I do regardless of whether I know we are never going to have a second date.
It works in a job interview situation so I don't see why it should be any different on a date. There's a lot of similarities between the two situations because IMO we're both looking for someone with the right fit. | |
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| Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:04:20 AM |
If you can't do something for someone else without the expectation of something,even a thank you, then don't do it at all. The fact that you are "annoyed" by someone not saying thank you for a meal you paid for suggest that you are only doing things for others for selfish reasons.
Once again men are expected to be "chivalrous" and "selfless", while not even the most basic display of common courtesy is expected of women. This is why modern dating sucks, and men need to stop tolerating this kind of nonsense by making women pay for their own meals. | |
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