| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/2/2005 6:35:17 PM | | A flashlight is a container for dead batteries. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/3/2005 3:41:12 PM | It's cute that you think I am listening.
I know how you feel I just dont care.
Welder's can do it in all positions. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/3/2005 6:25:10 PM | I can't remember the guy who said this in his act but he was funnnny.
I hate when I walk into a store and they think I'm going to steal something......cuz I'm black..........and holding a shotgun. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/3/2005 11:31:26 PM | I know this is cruel, but:
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken... | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 12:27:04 AM | i only talk to myself b/c i am the only one i can have a decent conversation with
im not as think as u drunk i am
im not an acoholic--- they go to meetings..... i'm a drunk
i admit when im wrong...just never seems to happen
if u tip a cow over when its sleeping does it still moo
who sings that song?..... then let them sing it
i hear voices and they don't like you
how many men does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
4 ...one to screw it in, one to supervise, one to tell them which way to turn it and one to just tell them all they are wrong.....
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 5:09:29 AM | I Understand, I just don't care!
Take me drunk I'm home | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 8:02:27 AM | Im schirophrenic and so am I.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 8:05:48 AM | I almost forgot this one.....
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 5:01:34 PM | hey your way hotter than the last girl that shot me down
lets keep the lights on i dont wanna get confused again
hey i dont remember taking you home last night did your friend already leave.
no, no i keep the roll of loonies there so i can never say im broke
no occifer, i didnt drunk nothin
baskin robbins has 31 flavours, whats yours
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/4/2005 5:50:26 PM | Why do single women play pool?
So they can play with balls and not get in trouble. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 1:15:12 AM | | Why do you need a drivers license to by alcohol when you can't drink and drive? | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 1:22:11 AM | Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
He who laughs last thinks slowest. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 1:25:51 AM | I needed some furniture that wouldn't keep me up at night, so I bought a Decaffinated Coffee Table...
-Steven Wright | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 1:27:53 AM | Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: Because of the drugs in my glove compartment? | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 1:29:39 AM | Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:13:55 AM | | You guys are soooooo entertaining! I love it. :::snicker::: why don't sheep shrink.....lol | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:14:53 PM | | Your just jealous that the voices talk to me instead of you. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:58:24 PM | | I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it very much. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 7:00:20 PM | inheriting eighty million bucks does not mean much, when you have a week heart
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 8:11:27 PM | | "Jesus loves me, he loves me a bunch, cause he always puts skippy in my lunch" | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 8:14:51 PM | | Vagina junction, what's your function? Eatin' up sperm and spittin out babies! | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 8:23:53 PM | | I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 8:36:52 PM | | Your proctologist called, they found your head. | |
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pfunk
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Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/5/2005 8:56:58 PM | the jerk store called, and theyre running out of you!
please someone get that joke.... | |
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