| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 10:14:23 AM | | Bring the Jones' down to your level. It's cheaper. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 10:27:16 AM | some shave some don't... geez!!! she was so hairy it looked like she had buckwheat in a leglock!! | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 11:19:25 AM | Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
The secret to success to knowing who to blame for your failures.
The downside of being better then everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 12:21:12 PM | i'm so glamorous i piss glitter
if your****was as big as your mouth, then i'd be interested
having a brain fart.........be back with more | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 12:24:56 PM | | confucious says man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 1:29:12 PM | | He sleeps like a baby, first he wets the bed, then he sh*ts his pants | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 1:33:18 PM | i had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 5:29:21 PM | Saw this bumper sticker on a low rider truck
" too low for a fat hoe " | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/15/2005 8:27:10 PM | sorry if it's been said.....gve up reading after pg 3  ........
"if you can turn, you aren't going fast enough" | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/16/2005 11:31:49 PM | Technically not a one-liner but here it is anyways:
What's the most popular line in a gay bar?
Hey, can I push that stool in for you? | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:01:08 AM | TOURISTS;If there in season then why can't we shoot'em FLORIDA;came down on vacation,left on probation,came back on violation I'm not as thunk as you drink I am | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:16:43 AM | | Heres one for the pool: I don't swim in your toilet,please don't piss in my pool | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:36:42 AM | | Rehab is for quitters,I'm not a quitter | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:38:30 AM | | Lord give me patience,but I want it right ****ing NOW!!!!!! | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/18/2005 11:53:41 AM | Keep staring...i might do a trick
im with dumbass
----->
lifes tough, get a helmet | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/18/2005 3:10:10 PM | I'm all over that like a fat kid on a cupcake
It'll fall faster than a dress on prom night | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/19/2005 1:24:31 AM | | Never teach a pig to sing, it waste ur time and annoys the pig. | |
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yingy
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Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 118 | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/20/2005 11:02:41 AM | | Don't stop to think.....you may forget to start. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:11:41 AM | It's not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married - Author Unknown
That was George Burns... JFYI. 
My favorite has to be "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Pablo Rodriguez | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 2:08:40 PM | | When the winds of change blow hard enough, even the smallest of objects can become deadly projectiles.... | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 3:38:54 PM | | When everything is coming your way you're probably in the wrong lane. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 5:35:51 PM | Every night I had a strange girl. Same girl- she was just strange.
(a couple from Steven Wright)
I spilled spot remover on my dog- and now he's gone.
I woke up one morning and my girlfriend asked me if I slept good. I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
(a bum said to me)
"I havent eaten in three days." I said, "Force yourself."
-Henny Youngman
(from Don Rickles)
To Frank Sinatra: "Come right in, Frank. Make yourself at home. Hit somebody."
(Two of my own)
Women often tell me that in bed, I do the work of three men...Larry Moe and Curly
Last night, I had incredible sex with 4 beautiful women- then I woke up
Cheers | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 6:32:09 PM | On the back of a truck..darn near put me in the ditch laughing
'The square root of 69 is 8-something'
Did you hear about :-
The oysters who awoke one morning to find a strange mussel in their bed?
The sparrow who opened her legs for a Lark?
The latest in golf carts?..a fore wheel drive
and 'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits..with an unarmed person.' | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 11:41:31 PM | The three most dreaded words you can hear while making love?
"Honey,I'm home!" | |
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