| Fun One Liners
Posted: 9/28/2005 9:38:40 PM | What did your last slave die of? (not getting me a cup of coffee)
Who died and made you God?
If I wanted to hear from an a*shole I would have farted!
Your mamma's fugly and she dresses you funny.
take a picture - it lasts longer | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:53:58 AM | "There is no blood in my alcohol stream"
"Childhood lasts but a few years but imaturity can last forever"
"If at first you don't succeed. Then sky diving isn't for you"
"My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone" 
"Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go"
"Want to get laid? Crawl up a chickens ass and wait"
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with limited inventory"
"Before giving someone a piece of your mind be sure you have enough to spare"
"next time you wave at me use more then one finger please" | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:11:08 AM | "You can't fight here, this is the war room!"
Dr. Strangelove
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:05:59 AM | life sucks...grab it by the ears and make it swallow
theres no such tthing as gravity....earth sucks | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:53:15 PM | | I'm as busy as a cat trying to burry shit on a marble floor | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/1/2005 7:32:09 PM | NoW this one i like lmao
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He though he was God and I didn't.
That is a good one lmao
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/5/2005 6:48:57 PM | | YOUR POWERS ARE USELESS THE CLOWNS ARE ON MY SIDE. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/7/2005 6:09:15 AM | | that slice of bacon on my sandwich was so thin,I don't think the pig felt it come off it's ass. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/7/2005 6:15:04 AM | One from "All in the Family"
Archie: Will you look at those two(mike & gloria) slobbering all over each other.
Gloria: Daddy,didn't you ever kiss ma this way?
Archie: No,No,No, little girl.
Edith : Archie wasn't a slobberer,he was always a "pecker".
OK bananabanger do your dance !!
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/7/2005 9:59:24 PM | | Do us both a favor," pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow "...walter matthau | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/8/2005 7:01:18 PM | IM TRYING TO SEE THINGS FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW, BUT I CANT GET MY HEAD THAT FAR UP MY A$$!!
OH YOU HERE THAT?? ITS THE TRAIN TO F*C*-OFFS VILLE!!
HERES A GOOD ONE IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO SHUT UP!"WHY DONT YOU STUFF IT,LICK IT, PUT A STAMP ON IT, AND MAIL TO SOMEONE WHO GIVES A F*C*!! | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/9/2005 5:53:20 AM | A few more of my favorites.
-Unless you're a hemroid get off my ass!
-We were so poor when I was young,it's a good thing I was born a boy,otherwise I wouldn't of had nothing to play with. Rodney Dangerfield.
-Hurry up and feed him,cause fat people get violent when they're hungry.
-Women always say that men think with their little heads,so maybe we should start giving them a piece of our minds. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/12/2005 6:35:10 AM | Caution: I go from zero to hero in 15 seconds.
Hard work may never have killed anyone, but why chance it.
A bus station is where a bus stops,
A train station is where a train stops,
In the office I have a workstation, need I say more.
Learn from the mistakes of others, you cant live long enough to make them all yourself.
If we are what we eat then I am cheap fast and easy.
Just because you have a****it doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
Your body is a temple, mine is an amusement park.
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some mornings I wake up miserable, others I just let her sleep
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 1869.
I married miss right; I just didn’t know her first name was “always”.
I am so broke if you rob me it will be for practice. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/12/2005 9:53:02 AM | Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?
Some people are only alive cause its illegal to shoot them.
Drugs lead nowhere... but its the scenic route..
Save your breath.. you'll need it to blow up your date later. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/12/2005 7:43:24 PM | "If I could rearange the alphabet i would put u and I together"
to the cute guy at the bar...
"I would like an orgasm....and not the shot...i want the real thing, it's been a while!!" | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/12/2005 9:32:27 PM | | I got a new five iron and hit the 200 yard marker at the driving range today. They won't give me my club back. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 10/12/2005 9:36:25 PM | | Love is grand, divorce is a 100 grand | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 12/13/2005 6:28:33 PM | Me: Hey, can I smell your p.u.s.s.y.?
She: Hell No! (or similar)
Me: Oh, Must be your feet then! | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 12/13/2005 8:47:34 PM | | If the ocean were whiskey and I were a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up | |
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mumof2
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Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 220 | |
| Fun One Liners
Posted: 12/13/2005 9:30:54 PM | like my new perfume? it's called come to me. does it smell like cum to you.
if i gave a f*ck you'd be the first one i'd give it to. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 12/13/2005 10:59:02 PM | A three legged bear walks in to a bar, says to the bartender, I am looking for the guy who shot my paw
Bacon and eggs walk in to a bar, bartender says I am sorry but we don't serve breakfast
Guy walks in to a bar. Ouch
Peace of string walks into a bar, bar tender says I am sorry but we don't server string in here.
String leaves. ties him self in to a knot and messes up his hair, walks back in to the bar, bar tender says arn't you the same string I just through out, string says, I'm a fraid not.
Snail walks up to a bar, bartender throughs the snail accross the stree, 2 years later, same snale go to the bar tender and says what did you do that for? | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 12/20/2005 8:38:12 PM | Confushouis say..Man who stand on toilet, get high on pot...
i can't spell his name. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 1/7/2006 5:27:51 PM | | Welcome to the Pu$$ycat lounge, liquor in the front, poker in the back. | |
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| Fun One Liners
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:08:15 AM | | Seen on a bumper sticker.... Horn broken.. Watch for finger. | |
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Geves
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Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 225 | |
| Fun One Liners
Posted: 2/26/2006 2:10:59 AM | if i wanted any lip from you i'd scrap it off my fly
is it cold in here or are you smuggaling tic tacs
my time is worth money. it's worth $50 a second. i want an answer and i want it to cost less than $2000 dollars.
you want a promotion? cool you've just been promoted to customer.
you wanna by me a drink?
No you should stop drinking.
Why??!!!
Because you're driving me home tonight. | |
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