| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 8/8/2009 1:50:49 PM |
don't you think it is kind of mean for him to talk about other women when he knows how you feel about him? It may be mean, but he may also be hoping she hears this as a clear message he wants her only as a friend. It would be better if he could say directly "I keep getting the feeling we're not on the same page. Would it be easier for you if we didn't hang out so much?"
The prob with that is it sounds so presumptuous, and can make him seem full of himself: but then if she still wants him, she is kinda bringing pain onto herself.
OP ought to mentally reverse the situation and figure out how she would feel if he had the stronger interest than hers, and how she would want to handle it. | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:53:45 PM | Wow the crowd is harsh tonight. Easy there folks...gees. Like there is one person out there on the planet who has not fallen in love with someone who did not return it?
Come on people.
Look hun...it $UCKS BIG TIME. I know. Has happened to me a couple times myself. Although I try really had to catch myself before I wipe out completely.
We are all only human.
But now..it is time for you to love yourself. There is an old saying..look out for #1, don't step in #2. Hahahaha.
Nobody is going to look out for you, except you. That is your responsibility to yourself, and nobody elses.
If this man causes you pain, then, what do YOU think you should do about it? The right answer will come to you...and when it does...and when YOU are ready for it...you will do what must be done.
Hang tough there chicky...this is not easy. Love comes with risks. Being burnt sometimes is part of the game. Eventually you learn to jump out of the fire before you get extra crispy, going down in a flame of glory.
AND YES, WE HAVE ALL DONE THAT ONE TOO, NOW HAVEN'T WE???javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:09:16 PM | Yes, and there is always karma, and what goes around comes around. People that use others for various reasons eventually ALWAYS get the same type of treatment back in some form of a lesson. And all one has to do is sit back and watch, and not lift a finger for this to happen it's called the law of the universe. Most learn from their mistakes and others don't because they are prideful. Believing they are entitled to treat others however they want for their benefit.
I'd distance myself from this person. | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:26:53 PM | It amazes me how spoiled a society we are; if we cant' have something, we ask how can we get it? the answer? you can't.
tell him how you feel, and if you can't handle the friendship in the way he wants it, then you will need to move on.
It's hard but it happens to us all; but dont' rip on him because he's not into you, | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:17:58 AM | | I know what you mean,I had an accident 6 months ago and the guy wanted me to move in with him but at the time I just couldn't so we became friends.When I decided to move back home and we became closer friends I fell for him and all he wants to be is friends with me,he hurt me a lot and for him to be my brothers friend sucks even more. | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:49:58 PM | The real question is this..... being a guy I did develop an interest in this girl however she was married at the time so I decided to move on, later she asked for my company and was seemingly very sad. I decided to be a "distant friend" instead of a "close friend" and give her my time, perhaps making her abit less sad. She pressured me for a closer friendship and each time I said "NO" and it went on like that for 1 year. She made it clear she wanted friendship and I thought I was being clear by saying "NO" but she did not give up. Later she said "did you ever think I didn't want to give up." Now let me ask which one is right?! Surely she was abit loony tunes for not taking "the hint" which she often said "fine I can take a hint" but then completely ignored the hint?! lol
I realized she would never give up so ended it in a very clearly defined way saying "please loose for close friends elsewhere." I feel I was right in my actions, but she felt right as well.
I always had feelings for the young girl so it was hard to ignore her and see her sadness, but I knew I wanted more. Ugh what a weird situation I posted on this before but it was just so weird, I mean I had "feelings" and knew she wanted friendship, so I gave her a kind of "distant friend" to help talk too about life in general. I still remember saying "just know I hold you in higher regard than any others in this place." and she replied "I just don't want to loose you as a friend." | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:09:04 PM | You have to stop being around him. Period.
Will it hurt? You bet, but it's the only thing you can do.....
I just went through this, with someone I was friends with for 4 years.
He kept telling me we were just friends, but I developed much deeper feelings for him.
Long story short, in August, we took our relationship to the next level-it was short lived and now I cannot have any type of relationship (friends or otherwise) with him, it's just too hard for me.
I have now lost a very dear friend.
Take my advice, if he says he wants only friendship, you must decide if you can be happy with that..... | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:26:31 PM | get real with yourself-realize you have unwittingly cast him into the starring role in your romantic fantasy. Noone hires us for any job against our wishes, and it's the same with romance. Acknowledge his preferences and his free will-don't come at it from the arrogant 'I know better than you do what is good for you, me!' attitude-that's just pure selfishness. True love recognizes freedom within it, even if that means the freedom of the little birdie to keep on flying-away from you. We don't own anyone, not even our own children. We are merely lucky enough to have the people in our lives with us in the positions which they are for as long or as short as they are. Let go and let live like e true friend  | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:45:32 PM |
just went through this, with someone I was friends with for 4 years.
He kept telling me we were just friends, but I developed much deeper feelings for him.
Long story short, in August, we took our relationship to the next level-it was short lived and now I cannot have any type of relationship (friends or otherwise) with him, it's just too hard for me.
I have now lost a very dear friend........
MaccaFan, (see message 32 in full) I am so sorry this happened. - Turns out my wise Momma was right: Romance fades......But a friendship can last forever.
OP, you can get water from the moon and it wouldn't matter to the person you are hung up on. He has made it pretty clear to you he doesn't want anything further than just friendship, and, like it or not, you will have to accept it and move on.
You can't make someone feel what they don't feel. - You can't make someone love you.
Hopefully, you can do what is right for yourself now, and move on. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself - and if that means no contact with the individual you have feelings for, then so be it. | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:20:09 PM | | I dont knwo what you can do? Mabye if your crying about him talking about other girls to you then its a situation u shouldnt put yourself in anymore, mabye as hard as it may be if you cant accept the friendship as a friendship then u shouldnt be involved in it anymore. | |
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qstorm
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Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 38 | |
| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:59:43 AM | | what u do is give it some time, dont rush it, be his friend and if his eyes are truly open then he will see whats infront of him, if not then u have to accept the friendship, but let time work it out and hopeful its for the better. Friendship is better n will grow in time, be good and good luck | |
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| I have developed feelings for someone that only wants friendship
Posted: 9/30/2009 3:44:32 PM | | This sounds exactly like my post in "relationship" forum "how do i walk away" Except he doesnt talk about other women nor do i expect that he is invovled with anyone.... I too am trying to figure out how to stop the feeling and keep his friendship but honestly its killing me... and think i'll probably go over to his house in a little while.... maybe i'll learn that i'm killing myself slowly anjd realize i'm worth a hell of alot more. I know what i need to do but doing it is another thing!! good luck. | |
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