| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:01:18 PM | | I bring my food, ice cream and culinary skills and eat it right in front of you. That what I bring to the ****en table | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:18:39 PM | To start out......I bring myself to the table. Then companionship and having a good time with who I am with. Communication and understanding. A passion for life and living which has nothing to do with materialistic things. I can go to the movies, dinner, travel etc when I want with friends or sometimes alone (though I prefer to be with someone) but all we can do is bring ourselves to the table first. Being a good friend in times of need and compassionate about others is something else I would bring to the table.
"I don't have a job" - Hey, I heard they were hiring at _ _ _ _. You may have some luck there.
"I don't have a car" - I know someone who wants to get rid of their car for next to nothing.
"I don't own a home" - You are lucky, do you know how much houses are depreciating these days. You are free to go look for work anywhere and not worry about selling your home.
"I'm such a nice guy" - Actions will speak louder than words.
Help people to help themselves. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:25:21 PM | Go read my profile and find out... of course, it could all be lies!!! LIES!!! mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!  | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:25:54 PM | | I am disappointed, Aurora, that you feel most women don't bring much to the table. I certainly know many women who do own a home, car, have a good job, etc. Now, I think there is much more that people should bring to the table, including personality, honesty, etc. but I'm disappointed that apparently some men think that few women have any of these things! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:41:16 PM | Wow! What do you want brought to the table?? I mean I want to be comfortable as much as the next person but money (assets) does not buy happiness. If a guy is self sufficient ie pays his own rent, feeds himself, can get around without relying on everybody else and can go out for the odd coffee or rent a movie...then if he is a good person why would he not be ltr material?
To me whats more important is that he is a good person, honest, and reliable. Money is just a bonus if you find some one with those traits. He shouldn't have to support me nor should I have to support him. But like everything else in a ltr it should be a combined effort. And hey if one of us is better off than the other that's all good too...just not a priority for me. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:43:50 PM |
What do you bring to the table!!
In my opinion this is an inherent flaw to dating or meeting people. Believing there is a table to bring something to. You are the table. They are the table. Sup of each others bounty and hope you each like the other's taste.
If you believe there is a table to go to (in my opinion) you are just aimlessly wandering waiting for a greater power to grant you something. You spend so much time looking for something external to be granted that's enough for two you don't pay attention to the person helping in the search.
There seems to be a constant theme on the forums.
There seems to be a constant type of person on the forums.
Have you read the Myers-Brigg's personality test thread? It seems the majority of people (at least that respond to the forums) are all the same, or extremely similar, type of personality.
So is it any wonder you run into the same problem...over and over again?
I don't understand how so many men...just don't understand why they can't find anyone.
Because a lot of people either refuse to see their flaws. Become extremely polarized or cemented to the "rightness" of their way of life or thinking they never think to question how they got there.
And then a lot of them go to the forums and vent their frustration and complain how they don't understand why other people aren't changing to what the person complaining about sees as their "right" way of living. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:14:16 PM |
...after all how many healthy, active years do we have left????
I don't know about you, but I'm planning on wrappin' it all up at 106 on the dancefloor!
What a way to go ...............
P & L ...... Steve (enjoying the journey) | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:19:02 PM | Geez at that what this has be come now? What you bring to the table. Could you imagine how few of us would even be here after the great depression. If love is now what you bring to the table and not the sharing of life and love. Have we reduced love to a materialistic thing now. Love is no longer the courage and fortitude to stand beside the one you claim to love. The understanding that no one in this life has any control over some of the stuff that life curve's throw, but to wake are two sleep, to be in anticaption of the next time you are with the one you love. Tell me that it hasn't been turned into you have this I have that, or because you have that i can love you. Did we ask these question the very first times we fell in love..........Please say it isn't so .........
" Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:25:08 PM | How about what I'm not going to allow you to take away from my table. Also, the fact that I'm not looking to take or even borrow anything from your table either. I don't feel that would be a good start for either gender. Two mature and self sufficient adults. Now that's a decent and fair starting point. Then we have a fair race. That's all things being equal I'd think.
If you were looking for someone who owns their own home, then why would you even consider anyone who didn't? If you were looking for someone who has a steady job or career, then why would you go for anyone who didn't? If you're just looking for what you try to call "love" (material and financial security) in all the wrong places, then why post threads stating how the *rest of the world* SHOULD BE according to YOU? Can you change it? Nope. So it's just a waste of time isn't it? It's just petty and childish. It's also actually really kind of presumptuous and judgmental of you don't you think?
Guess what? No one cares. Yep, I said it. Nobody cares what you think or about your opinion. Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one and nobody thinks their own stinks.
I beg your pardon, who promised you a rose garden? Is it two people getting together for a life-long partnership which will involve the ups and downs - better's and worse's - of real life -or- simply one guy trying to provide a woman with "entertainment" until one of them kicks the bucket? (I know it's not gender specific, but I am a man). News brief - the man usually dies first. So what's in this for me again? Because I either missed something or I just plain forgot. Maybe I chose to forget, selective denial has it's purpose.
If you need security via material things and need entertaining then I'd suggest just getting a pet for the entertainment and start saving your earnings for those vacations, that car, that house and all that other stuff you *need* from life (I.E. mistakenly believe you are entitled to).
So, what do YOU bring to the table?
Mike | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:27:32 PM | qoute--- "I think to find long term relationship we need to bring more to the table than good looks and a smooth line.."
I promise not to bring just good looks and Oil Of Olay slatherns face,but myself and my appetite and some good manners to the table. Will that be alright ??
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:06:29 PM |
Even if you care about somebody OTHER THINGS DO MATTER!!!
That's why living independently before getting married or choosing to live with someone is so important. Advice I learned to take the hard way from one very foolish former marriage. You are right, other things do really matter, and to what degree and extent they matter to me may be entirely different from the degree and extent that they matter to you. If it was that important to you and not really much if at all to me, then I'd say we weren't really compatible and vice versa. The thing is, I don't do it for anyone else, I do it for me first. If I can't give it to me, how could I give it to anyone else? So, yes, I'd agree with you there.
I'd also suggest that what you see is always what you'll get. I have goals and dreams I may never achieve. I have those goals and dreams for me, nobody else. I live my life and follow my plan. I do not make my happiness in life contingent on any person, place, thing or situation. While I believe I will achieve my dreams and continue to strive towards them, never getting there is still a very realistic possibility. There are no guarantees in life. How could I guarantee it to you if I can't even guarantee it to me? That's not reasonable or realistic of anyone else to expect from me is it? I can't guarantee a lifetime of un-interrupted employment and un-interrupted income to myself, how could I to anyone else?
There's women I wouldn't date simply because they also aren't good prospects for many of the exact same reasons. They aren't established. They aren't independent. They have no foundation in life or grasp on reality at all. They're unrealistic and unreasonable in their expectations of life, of others and have this ridiculous and very un-deserved nauseating sense of *entitlement*. They're just disgustingly needy. I'd rather be wanted than needed. Neediness is a real turn-off for me.
I could see someone being temporarily out of work (especially now) provided they have mostly worked steadily to support themselves. I'd feel the same about level of education or social and family background or emotional temperament also. I would still opt for the educated and/or professional woman who is temporarily unemployed and living by herself over the currently employed waitress who is living with others and has only ever been capable of waiting tables all her life.
Mike | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:24:11 PM |
I don't understand how so many men (yes I know this is not gender specific but I am a woman) can say things like "I don't have a job, I don't have a car, I don't own a home, I'm such a nice guy" but they just don't understand why they can't find anyone.
They say these things easily, without reservation, when they believe they are talking to a woman who said something along the lines of "I just want honesty after being burned." or "Money is unimportant. I'm just tired of the players and I'm looking for someone nice I can trust." A majority of women complain that they don't get enough (or any honesty) from men, and here you are complaining about men being honest. Is it any wonder why a majority of men don't have a clue as to the *right* thing to do?
Now if a woman said in her profile "I'm looking to go out for dinner, go to the movies, travel, go downtown, shop, go to a concert" and the man replied with he had no job or money... well, that's obviously not a man with good reading comprehension. That should be common sense. Obviously disappointing that it isn't.
I think to find a long term relationship we need to bring more to the table than good looks and a smooth line.
Incorrect. To find a long term relationship you either have to be ready to compromise (the key to every working relationship) in what they want, in order for a relationship to grow... or you have to state exactly what you want, and then suck it up and accept it when what you say you want is presented to you. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:53:12 PM | I wouldn't bring much!
I own my own place...it isn't much but it's mine. I own my own car...again, not much, but its mine. I have a job...it pays the bills. I have a little money invested in a 401K. All my basic needs are met.
I never sat down to figure out my net worth...it's not important to me. I don't need a man's money...so really wouldn't care about his either! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:03:50 AM | I would date me. Not only can I raise each eyebrow independently of the other, which gives endless enjoyment to little kids and pets, I am kind, thoughtful, generous, caring, brave, smart, occasionally even funny, and have an odd gift for finding lost objects (which, unfortunately, does not apply to my own).
I have liabilities, for sure, who doesn't? Mine are mostly in terms of health, it isn't the best. But overall, I bring a lot. I'm absolutely confident that I'm worth anyone's while.
Yeah, I'd date me. Heck, I'd marry me. I'm not saying I'm perfect (see above), far from it, but I'm totally worthwhile. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:38:47 AM | I think that when you look at what someone brings to the table you should look at who they are as a person and what their personality is. NOT materialistic things, you can't take those things when your gone. Those things break, get sold, get lost... whatever it may be. In the end all you have is YOU and the other person. You have to bring YOU to the table and like the you, you bring. If you have issues with YOU, so will the other person. You have to like you and be comfortable with yourself before you can expect someone else to to be. Everyone is different. What one person brings to the table may not interest you but it will interest someones else.
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 3:01:23 AM | I always chuckle when women judge a man by his monetary value. These guys are always in high demand and are VERY picky about who they date. And if you do land one, don't get upset if they expect you to live up to your end of the bargain, which is usually you can't age. As Mick Jagger said, marrying money is a full time job.
I don't assess what a man has to offer me. It is about whether we can build a relationship together. It is hard to find that one special person but if you give up, you never will! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 3:48:38 AM | To me sounds like your looking for the wrong things in life for the start, the easy way out. So what? you have all those things you stated, but not one thing interested me. All those thing that you asked for can be yanked away in the blink of an eye, especially in this day and age.
When I was younger the things that brought me happiness, where the simpliest things. I used to go for rides for the weekend on my bike, and just go touring, Ive never felt as free as that after I was asked to give it all up. I work to live I dont live to work. I spent time in a village in Papua New Guniea that no European had seen for 30 years, do you think they werent happy because they didnt have a full time job or a full bank account.
Do you think I am any less of a person because I choose the responsibilty of my kids, over everything else. I work for myself so that I can spend the time with my children when I need too. That doesnt make me any less a person, than someone who chooses the opposite. You think your looking for more but to me your looking for less in a man.
Guess what! Prince Charming was probably a layabout, that never lifted a finger to do anything for Cinderalla and had someone do it for him, if a man brings you flowers what do you prefer ones from a flourist or ones cut by hs own hand. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:13:11 AM | Sassy red head msg 3 ,
I see your divorced and so proud of what you have that you can bring to the table..
Just how much of that was STOLEN from your EX Husband? | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:22:51 AM | OP , I see your divorced too and that you have a house that you are so proud to own.
Did you get your house from your husband during your divorce too?
I have been married and divorced myself.
Yes,, I do have a place and it's paid for.
I didn't steal it from my spouse during a divorce .
I worked for it.. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:30:22 AM | life is like a poker game.... one brings their hopes to the table. scrutinizes their opponents.. and bit by bit puts more of themselves on the table.... and then when they feel the cards are right..... they go all in!
girlygirl555 if i were to lay all my ASSets on the table... how do i know if i am loves for who i am rather than for what i have? | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:34:04 AM | | OP: I think lots of people in here are probably great catches. The unfortunate problem is that in this society and time of "instant gratification" I don't think anyone has the concentration or attention span to actually find out how great someone is or who is good relationship material. All nuances and info can't be conveyed in a 5 minute meeting but this is what most people expect so my guess is there will be a lot of very old, very lonely people in the end. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:37:57 AM | I've always hated the table analogy (amongst a few others) when it comes to people and relationships - it makes it sound like a business transaction.
If some people choose to view a potential partner as a business partner or a transaction, that's fine, but it's not how I see it.
Besides, what makes someone or something an asset as opposed to a deficit?
Take me for example - everything I "bring to the table" can be seen as an asset or a deficit, depending on which side of the table you're sitting on.
I may be old and "past my due date" to some people, but to others, I'm the perfect age. And to a few more, I'm young still:).
My children are grown but my grand-daughter lives with me - to some, that's a no no - to others (who may have children still living at home also), it's a bonus.
I'm an introvert and a loner who leads a very simple and quiet life - to some, my life seems extremelly boring - to others, it's just right.
Everything about us that makes us unique can be interpreted as an asset or a deficit, depending on who's doing the interpreting.
So while an introverted loner type of guy might not be considered a hot commodity to some or even the majority of people, he'd be sizzling hot at (or on) my table;) 
IMHO
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:53:59 AM |
I've always hated the table analogy (amongst a few others) when it comes to people and relationships - it makes it sound like a business transaction.
Your right it does sound wrong. It seems people are more worried about themselves first when meeting someone new.
They are asking "what's in it for me" instead of "whats in it for us".
Thats why I don't like this "what do you bring to the table" attitude. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:59:27 AM | Well said Oldsoul!^^^^
if who you are is based on what you have, then, you have nothing!
Relationships are NOT based on "comparitive shopping!" Any that are...fail! Wealth and possessions become your anchors!...for some...a prison!
I do well financially, I own a vehicle, I have my creature comforts...but it is my family and friends that make my day! My couch doesn't make me smile in the morning...but my daughter does....and so do my grandkids!
I measure people for who they are, not what they have.
anyone who wants to comparitive shop with me....ends up in the grocery cart....alone!! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/5/2009 6:05:38 AM | I'm not trying to stir the pot here...but this topic reminded me of a post that was made last year. Here's the gist of it: guy is in his mid-30s, has never left his parents' house, dropped out of school, "doesn't believe in work" and has never held a job (shuns work because he is working on his 'spirituality'), had a lot of issues, and was wondering why in the world women don't want a man who has nothing to offer but a heart full of love? (his words, not mine)
I said that if I wanted a heart full of love and nothing else...I'd get a dog. And I did. Haven't regretted it yet.
Good luck guys and gals! | |
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