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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/9/2009 12:15:20 PM | Not sure what I bring to the table...but I know what I don't bring to the table...and I think that's worth more.
You're very right.
A lot of times less is more...
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:48:21 PM | I get that the op was talking about the long term. Also,that what some of us are talking about are the so called "deadbeats" that won't contribute financially to the relationship (on either side).
But, there is also a sentiment/implication among some that if you can't pull your own weight right now that you shouldn't even consider dating. (Is there an implication for some that if you are not financially independent that you are not worthy enough to seek out someone for companionship? Whether it be long or short term?)
Keeping in mind that not everyone losses their financial security to an ex-spouse or the "economy" or blowing it on "stuff". Some have poured everything they had into the day to day expenses force upon them by circumstance. This doesn't necessarily make them a risk.
If I may humbly point out there are more ways to end up financially unsound. As an example, in my situation I had to give up my job to become the primary (only) caregiver. Thus, EVERY penny of the savings, checking, retirement funds, etc, EVERYTHING we worked for over the past 20 years (including the house), went to pay for medical care and the absolute necessities of life . (This is not that uncommon these days, either.)
This now makes me financially undesirable. So, regardless of what I can bring to the table socially, I still can't offer a date more than a cup of coffee, nice conversation and me (yet). But that does not mean I don't want or deserve to have what was taken away from me just because of money.
My belief is that one day I will become financially secure again. And, when that day comes, I will be more than happy to share whatever I have with the right person. But, if that person doesn't want me when times are tough, then I feel they don't deserve me for the good times either. Also, sometimes the strongest bonds are forged in the fires of strife.
Of course it's OK to want what you want. No one should tell us what we do and don't want. I'm just saying try to look beyond the surface and go a little deeper.
I may not have an abundance of cash to throw around, but I still have me to offer. And that's all I ask of anyone else. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:53:22 PM | Being single I have to bring EVERYTHING to the table
Life is not that hard if you know how to play the game. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:59:35 PM | | i enjoy a very wide range of activities and interests. i'm multifaceted and willing to try most anything. i have the wisdom of many years of life experiences but with the stamina and durability of men half my age. i'm very blessed. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:44:24 PM | | This thread seems so barterish. I never show my table until I know what I'm getting into. Do they like me, or my table? Do they like how my table drives? Do they like the house my table resides in? Do they like my wood table or my granite table? Speaking of tables, do they like sex on my table or is it a purely for eating table? With no appologies offered, I feel this thread really is a setup for failure, all tables asside. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:08:44 PM | I bring me... All the vast riches this universe has to offer,hard worker,excellant comunicater,impressive lover,some gold to barter with,loads o life skills,good house keepin traits,no guns,no b.s,no lies,no egotism,just love n more love... The rest is stuff that just clutters up the view,and that is plenty to start with...lunch anyone,anyone...TR7  | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:35:21 PM | I've many leather bound books, shelves made of rich mahogany....
Suits fine enough to make Sinatra look like a hobo, and a voice that would make a lion purr.
I'm kind of a big deal. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 4/2/2009 1:10:11 AM | I bring a bologna sandwich. Chicken bologna. On white.
All I really got is my condo. Owned outright. Me, not the bank which by the way I hate banks.
I got a solid steady job. It is secure because nobody else wants to do it.
I got an undisclosed secret inheritance with will not make me rich just comfortable . All the bologna sandwiches I want, even peanut butter and jelly.
On a personal level I have a larger than average d1ck which has a nice shape to it. I am charming and funny unless you happen to hate my guts.
I'm considered good looking by my friends and relatives and people who owe me money.
I'm short...I don't take up much space. I got tattoos and muscles and a sordid past. So I could qualify as a bad boy. And yet I am annoyingly nice, so you can get the worst of both worlds.
Anyway, I think I found the one. Even thoug she lives liteally half way around the world.
This won't be easy, but life is about risks. Anyway, I'd kill to get out of Vancouver.
I came up here in 2002. The only really good thing is I been five years without a drink.
So...I will drink to that and happy fishing. It's almost a science, isn't it? | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:37:36 AM | | well put! i think women concerned with what u bring to the table are just hookers with a higher price tag | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 5:58:59 AM | OP: Before you start asking what the other person brings to the table, you should ask what you bring to the table. In your case girly, it looks like what you bring to the table is a childish attitude. Maybe you need to look at a different type of man.
Hank: Never say she is too good for you given only what is in the profile. That is a mistake lots of men seem to make, which I think is why so many men I know end up with women far beneath what they should be dating or married to. She may look good on paper, but once you get to know her, you may (perhaps probably will) discover she is a freak (and not in a good way). | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 6:07:09 AM | What do I bring to the table?
Nothing more than me, not a damn thing, what I have is mine and I’m not going to make a sales pitch list of assets for you to pick and choose from.
I start with me and nothing more. If you want to know who I am and I want to know who you are, to me, that’s the best place any couple can start.
Past performance is no guarantee of future success. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 6:46:28 AM | OP - girlygirl555 Twice you mention the "over fifty crowd."
Well. this over fifty gal, 55 to be exact, is not the stick in the mud you paint us to be. Haven't you heard fifty is the new forty?  
I'd be happy to do either or both activities with a friend. None of the finances, car, etc matter to me. A good soul, interest in life, positive attitude and mutual attraction are my attractions.
I'm not impressed by a man who writes "generous to a fault, will treat you like a princess," yadda, yadda, yadda. If they are looking to buy sex or devotion, there are easier ways, I'm sure.
I do, however need a man to have his own place where we can play alone..... it's stipulated in my profile because I don't.   | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:16:37 AM | Hummm
What do you bring to the table!!
Flexability.
I Don't have the greatest of jobs at the moment but it does not matter if I am at home, someone elses home, the pool, or even the beach. I built it so that I can be anywhere.
I structured my life so that IF I found an amazing woman that I wanted a future with I could be flexible enough to relocate.
Knowledge... I lived my life to know many things so that I could carry on a conversation about pretty much any topic. So that it would not matter what field she is working in, I would not need someone to have to explain things to me all the time.
Repair abilities. I am able to repair anything from a car, computer, house, appliance, and even a person should the need come up.
Creation ability. I can build anything I want. I can build it on the computer and then select the raw materials and construct it.
So if she wants a new dining room set, head board, or even home or home addition I can design it on the computer so she can assist in the design phase and then build it WITH her and as a side bonus I can even teach her how to do it so that she can take pride in the fact she helped to build it.
Life enhancement... I can share with her the many things I have learned over the years about the Mind, Body, and Spirit. I can explain why people do the things they do at times. I can bring with me the attitude of grace, understanding, and compassion.
Devotion. I bring to the table a comfort and worry free feeling of security in our relationship. She need not fear I would be out desiring other women. When with my lady she knows clear to her inner soul that I am hers and she is mine. ... If I can not be reached by phone there will never be a fear in her mind that I am with another woman.
Trust.... Trust is built from the ground up. It starts with a desire to trust in small gestures and is confirmed with the correct actions being displayed. Each stage of that trust being formed multiplies with every new stage in the forming process. After time the trust that we will have built together is so strong that nothing could cause it to waver and topple. I do not do this by asking someone to trust me I do this by SHOWING that I can be trusted.
Communication.... I am strait forward and very blunt at times. I leave no room for speculation, assumptions, and confusion. Sure I have the knowledge to skirt around the edge of topics, but also the desire to have a firm base forged within our relationship. I will not stew on things letting it eat at my soul. If something bothers me I will say it like it is to get it out in the open. I will not fight about it, but I will express that I am not happy about something and desire a dialog in a rational manor to try to correct the issue. I will not just explain the issue I will go further to explain what is going on within my mind causing the issue and will expect she will do the same so that we can correct an issue together should one come up. I am not always best explaining in voice because there is less of a chance for a buffer between a thought and a statement. I prefer to think and ponder and examine things before making a choice so by far I am best at textual communication. I bring to the table Long emails to read with detailed information contained within them.
Passion.... I have a very strong spark of passion within me. I am able to control that passion and focus it to whatever I am doing or sharing that passion with whomever I am with. So if I am repairing something, building something, or even if I am romancing and/or making love to the woman I am with I am capable of building up my passion in me and adding a little touch of it into everything I am doing. Passion is one of the many things in life that the more it is shared with another the more of it is returned back to you thus allowing for eponetial multiplication of it within you.
Children.... I am a single father, I have a 10 year old son that I have thus far raised into a fine young man. So whomever I am with will be able to stand by me and continue in his growth in life to help guide and instruct him in the ways he should go on his journy through life. I also have a desire to have another child. I bring to the table the chance to be a mother either for the first time or if you already have children, the chance to be a mother again. I bring to the table the ability to show our children a fun loving homelife within a healthy family where they get to see their parents flirting, smiling, relaxing, working hard in life, and the most important part, them being able to see how caring for another human being on this planet is a reward in life.
Debt free... I am a renter and do not have a house now due to the flexability part plus the ammenities this place I am at offers like the swimming pool. My car is paid in full and I have a ZERO credit card balance.
Financial responsability. ... I come with a level head about money. I have not and do not nor will I ever have the lifestyle of buy now pay later. If I can not afford it then I don't need it. If I do need something I find creative ways to aquire it that do not leave me in debt. These may be as simple as offering my services as a trade for something I need. I know how to turn a dime into a dollar and a dollar into 100. I am smart enough to not need a broker to tell me what to invest my money into, and knowledgeable enough to understand and explain the risks that come along with those selections.
I am starting to think this list is getting too long.... There are many more things that come along with me that are basically listed as an ownersmanual to being with me. It is novel size so they are granted as small pieces spread out over time in the getting to know me phase of our relationship forming time.
Sorry if this is too long. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:26:34 AM | | It isn't what you bring to the table, it is what do you do to add to it. A positive attitude, compassion, willingness to listen, speak little, and share what you have within your boundaries with others to make life worth living that makes for your weight's worth in gold for anyone to be with you... | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:12:10 AM | The partnership should be equal.
Financially, emotionally, physically, morally, etc.
If you can't bring these things then there is no compatibility. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:44:16 AM |
There seems to be a constant theme on the forums. It's hard to meet a decent person, people lie, people are too hung up on looks, people are too hung up on money, people have been on this site for years and they can't get a date.....I was thinking about how millions of people can be on a dating site......many of them claiming they are looking for a long term relationship....and yet hardly any one is finding a mate (especially in the over 50 crowd). It seems to me the only reason a person would be looking for a long term relationship is to make their life happier, fuller, or to enhance it in some way. So don't we have to look at what we bring to the table in a more realistic way?? I don't understand how so many men (yes I know this is not gender specific but I am a woman) can say things like "I don't have a job, I don't have a car, I don't own a home, I'm such a nice guy" but they just don't understand why they can't find anyone. What exactly are these men "people" planning to do in this late in life, long term relationship?? I'm not saying there is not a possibility that there is someone out there that will be happy to just sit at home, watch TV everynight, go for walks in the park and have sex but I think most women (especially the over 50 crowd) want to go out for dinner, go to the movies, travel, go downtown, shop, go to a concert.......after all how many healthy, active years do we have left???? I think to find a long term relationship we need to bring more to the table than good looks and a smooth line.
Why don't these women just do those things anyway themselves? There are a whole host of reasons why people (both genders) don't have jobs and homes. It may be the downturn, there may be health reasons. If you were given the choice of a gentleman with no job or house, or a **stard with these things, which would you choose? Hopefully you'll get a good man who has financil stability. I do appreciate the need for women to feel financially secure, but most women have good jobs themselves. Imagine the reaction if men decided on their partners based solely on the womans' financial position. For me, it's what's in the persons' heart that's most important by far. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 12:34:24 PM |
So don't we have to look at what we bring to the table in a more realistic way?
I don't know any guy who thinks himself a prince, perhaps with one exception. However, I know at least 50 women who think of themselves as a princess. It's kind of hard for such a women to look at anything realistically - they have expectations which God himself cannot satisfy.
I don't understand how so many men (yes I know this is not gender specific but I am a woman) can say things like "I don't have a job, I don't have a car, I don't own a home, I'm such a nice guy" but they just don't understand why they can't find anyone.
Case in point, thanks. Do you have a job, a car, own a home, and are a nice lady? If that's the case, then you are more than justified seeking someone in your class. If you don't have those things, and are looking for a guy that does, that's fine. However, if you don't have those things, and you are negatively judging guys who don't have those things either, that makes you... I'm sure you know.
I'm not saying there is not a possibility that there is someone out there that will be happy to just sit at home, watch TV everynight, go for walks in the park and have sex but I think most women (especially the over 50 crowd) want to go out for dinner, go to the movies, travel, go downtown, shop, go to a concert.......after all how many healthy, active years do we have left?
What's stopping those women? You mean they don't have a car, so they need a guy with a car so he can be their taxi driver?
Bringing oneself is not enough for women? If you care about my possessions, you can be certain I'm going to care about your possessions.... and you better have what I have, cause I really dislike hippocrates! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:34:04 PM |
Bringing oneself is not enough for women? If you care about my possessions, you can be certain I'm going to care about your possessions.... and you better have what I have, cause I really dislike hippocrates!
Exactly. What's food for the goose...! | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:47:02 PM | From Atlas Shrugged:
"The code of competence is the only moral philosophy that's on a gold standard."
That's what I think of when thinking in terms of what someone "brings to the table". What abilities do you have? | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:04:23 PM | To a relationship, I bring a "giving nature" and it is all-encompassing. What I want in return is the same with a few extra tweaks, such as intelligence, education, an interest in exploring new things and enthusiasm.
I never show my table until I know what I'm getting into. Do they like me, or my table?
For me, it is not about your "table", but how you set your table, if we want to play with words. Rich or poor, I want a man who is generous with what he has. There are countless threads, particular to us older crowd, on gold-diggin' wimmin and how one should be careful on even splits so as not to be taken advantage of. Tit for tat type people are scroogey in EVERYTHING. | |
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