| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:14:23 PM | A bunch of baaaaad jokes, a lot of useless talking about needless topics, some sighing and eye-rolling, a little silliness, a lot of giggles and sometimes even a profound thought or two. All that topped off with a permanent smile.  | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:32:42 PM | Okay, so you have a job that pays a bit of money, you own your home, and you really, really like yourself, girlie. If I follow your logic,should I bring more money, more job security, and a solid way to ride out this sinking ship of an economy, does that mean I can look at you as a bum? Of course not. That would be bad form. But presumptions and broad declarations don't become anyone.
What I have on MY table is my own business, and doesn't need to be cast about like so much bait, looking for a large mouth bass. Someone can get to know me, or not. That's on them. But bringing a resume', my accountant, and lawyer just to have a conversation is sad, sad, sad. And enough with the 'over 50' put downs already. You will be over 50 (or not) one day - let's see how many love you at that point when the husband has left for a trophy wife. Karma is a wonderful thing.  | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:55:41 PM | Well let's see I own my own house, car, 17 year old and 3 naughty dachshounds Any takers? lol
But however their is a silver lining in every cloud I have a wicked sense of humor , people remember me for my laugh
I am an A student
I can cook but not every day
My strengths are my sense of fair play and my ability to tune in to someone elses needs.
My weaknesses are I am kind of messy and I have a lot of lawn to mow  | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:15:53 PM |
Many guys got wiped out though. Lost everything to the ex, and left to start over. So...having nothing (for guys) is becoming a way of life rather than a disaster waiting to happen. Some have become resigned to being taken time after time, and the courts do little or nothing to help. Being a meal-ticket is their lot in life.
That;s a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?
I guess this is an American thing bc I've never met anyone this happened to and I know a lot of divorced people. Or is this a myth?
However I do know women who got totally wiped out, left with the shirts on their backs - ran as fast and as far as they could. Quite a few. Mostly older.
And I swear I never ever met a woman who doesn't work, living in a house that some guy paid for. Never. I've met a lot of poor women living in crappy places bc they were abandoned and left to raise the kids alone though. But they are also over 40 generally. I don't get it. Where are all these mythical women that make a living off men and why haven't I ever met one. By your estimation they are everywhere. Where are they?
I think you are exaggerating.
Oh shoot I'm way off topic.
Ok, everything I bring to the table, I earned myself. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:56:11 AM | No, it's not an Exaggeration. But as you hit on, it is apparently an American thing.
Divorce in California means 50/50. If he had to work to earn the money to pay for it all, he now loses half of everything he paid for. She get half just because she was married.
Have you ever heard of Alimony? This is where the Spouse with the job, has to pay the spouse without a job money every week/month, after a divorce. So, now that California woman who just got half of everything, also gets a check from her Ex Husband. All just for being married. Now, hubby has to work to pay for himself and his new living arrangements, as well as pay to currently support his Ex-wife.
In America, most men get raked over the coals in a divorce. Their now ex-wives end up with the house, the car, the kids.. and the husband has to continue pay for it all, as well as an apartment for himself. Just because you do not believe this, that does not make this the truth. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:15:54 AM | I find most of my dates off-line and IRL. I network quite a bit and I am out doing things.
The men online...some I have enjoyed...most I have not. The ones that hide behind the computer just don't have that outright "man quotient" that I like.
What do I bring to the table?
A heckuva lot! More than most women do.
It takes a rare man to catch my eye and hold it...and it's not because of what he says or his looks. It is what he does and how he does it and how much....
Actions are everything. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:19:35 AM |
What do I bring to the table?
A heckuva lot! More than most women do
Wow daisy! You really know how to kick a girl when she's down don't you? I'll crawl back under my stone now.............. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 12:14:55 PM | If you took that personally...then it's your problem...not mine.
I know who and what I am....and believe me after 53 years of being a woman and knowing women...I can say that I do have a heckuva lot to bring ....and it's non-negotiable... | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 3:34:43 PM |
What do I bring to the table?
A heckuva lot! More than most women do
I think people tend to look at themselves in a better light then compared to someone else looking at them. People need to be more honest when evaluating themselves and others. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 4:04:35 PM |
I'm not saying there is not a possibility that there is someone out there that will be happy to just sit at home, watch TV everynight, go for walks in the park and have sex but I think most women (especially the over 50 crowd) want to go out for dinner, go to the movies, travel, go downtown, shop, go to a concert.......after all how many healthy, active years do we have left???? I think to find a long term relationship we need to bring more to the table than good looks and a smooth line.
For me, just too much freaking work. I'm 3 years out of a 26 year marriage, divorce close. I spent too many years doing all that to maintain a relationship. I need rest. How many feel the way I do, I wonder. Would I like to have sex with a pretty lady? You bet. Is it worth all the work to get to that point? Not to me. I'll cook you dinner, share some laugther, make you screem in delightful orgasm, spend the night if you wish. But, you won't be moving in with me, and I not with you. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:29:31 PM | What do I bring to the table?hmm I do have a car,I do not have a house and I am not a high flying professional.So I guess very little.
I work all year at more cerebral things but have the Summer off, So I work stacking peat in my local bog hahah.Its true , it pays my car insurance and its a beautiful place .Very physical work but I like working with my hands.I also do gardening and odd jobs in the Summer.
I had to laugh at the guy who would not date a waitress.If someone works honestly and pays their way, why not date them.Whats with the hoity toity attitude.Does being a waitress make you a lesser female.Who knew this?.Can people afford to be so choosy.Faddy people end up alone.Is this an avoidance technique inventing excuses not to commit.
I cant understand guys saying here, she took my house and my kids.Surely its should our house and our kids,Is marriage not a merger.Does not "we "replace "me" when you wed.When the kids are 18, is the house not sold and divided 50/50.Dont the kids need a home, whilst young.A lot of spite, selfishness and bitterness about.Is that why marriages break up so much, people do not become one flesh, but remain rigidly separate and suspiciously watch each other in case they get shafted.
Its all craven fear of getting hurt and having a negative attitude about the opposite sex.What should a person bring to the table honesty, self sufficiency,hard work and love maybe. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:51:49 PM | | I read this thread with much thoughts and feelings. I typed a response, then decided to cut and paste it as an email to myself rather than post here. This has much (but not all) to do with why I've decided to not date at all right now. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 6:22:09 PM | Cooldude...
I am as honest as the day is long......and I am not kidding when I say what I do have....
And...who made you judge and jury about what anyone says?
Can I criticize you? It wouldn't be all that hard.... | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 6:40:26 PM | am starting to think this list is getting too long.... There are many more things that come along with me that are basically listed as an ownersmanual to being with me. It is novel size so they are granted as small pieces spread out over time in the getting to know me phase of our relationship forming time.
Sorry if this is too long.
Dreams... yes... you must be a dream! Best wishes. I can't say good luck. If you find the right woman it's not just luck, it's because you're the right man. It would probably help immensely if you added your post on this thread (#117) to the "About Me" section of your profile.
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:18:24 PM | | thanks....yeah my profile is having a major design flaw at the moment but I try to avoid airheads and most smart ones have followed the forums links of my profile to discover more about me... it works and weeds out quite a few. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:39:36 PM | I'm double jointed.
J/k, kinda. I also bring a workmanlike dedication to making it work, flexibility (aside from the physical), diverse experience of adversity upon which to draw, resilience in the face of such adversity the likes of which few have seen, playfulness, a high sex drive, talent in the kitchen, common sense, tolerance to various personalities in the form of friends & family, a generally positive disposition, and a BGSOH.
And yet, here I am on a Saturday night. Maybe I should reconsider that boob job. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:00:51 PM |
I am as honest as the day is long......and I am not kidding when I say what I do have....
And...who made you judge and jury about what anyone says?
Can I criticize you? It wouldn't be all that hard....
It was more of a statement then anything. Besides, what happened to not taking it personally?...lol | |
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djmich
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Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 147 | |
| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:46:34 AM | | I have to agree with minnx on that one. I have only been part of the POF process for less than a week, and it seems that the "table setting" is viewed before anyone sits there. I can understand that. I do a little bit of that myself. It seems that there are a lot of rules about what who you must be or what history you can not have. We all know that everyone has baggage. Some of us have gone through difficult divorces and are going through difficult separation and if we haven't lost everything, we could be heading down that road. It's life. No one is to blame. We survive it and move on. I don't think that there is anyone on this site that realistically expects to find Mr/Ms Perfect. Maybe we, collectively are hoping that the Right person will be here. But, hope is pretty much about where we are. No expectations. Anyway, I just thought I put my two-cent worth into the mix. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:21:01 AM | Well I like to think I bring a lot to the table..
I also think we all need to be realistic about who we are and how we view ourselves. I don't take myself too serious when it comes to dating because I know I may or may not be compatible to the other person. In saying that, when I have met someone I'm interested in, I tell them I like them and definitely want to get to know them better. I have had great easy going conversations with a guy, but at times things don't progress for many reasons. So, if I'm going on a date with someone here or outside here, I look at specific things because of what I find important! Job, parent, children, honesty, humor, intelligence, maturity,height, smile, location.....
When we meet at the table....you'll get conversation, experiences, POV on topics fun or serious! Who knows I go with it...I think we are all trying...so if honesty is used at the table then you at least passed my first test!! But I do delete the guys who are 5'8 or shorter!! Sorry!
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:36:10 AM | Well, I really don't have a lot to bring to "the table" if you put it that way. I don't know, maybe I'm not dating right now because I'm in training with a new job with the same company but in another town and in another department.
It's stressful, and I constantly face reaper as in sometimes not having enough food in the house, just had to have my dining room floor replaced, have my nine yr. old grandson living with me and his dad as a caregiver too.
There are chores and dishes and laundry and bills and my job and trying to balance it all out with a basically non-existant social life.
I'm 60, almost, and don't have retirement. My social security and railroad retirement will be meager at best sooooo, I'll probably have to work until the day I drop dead on the job and they have to cart me out of the building...
I own my own home and my car is paid for. I have one head of dog and one head of cat. No other livestock.
If someone chooses to be my longtime companion, they will have whatever I have to give. I don't expect anyone to "take care of me ever again". My heart has been broken but I'm happy. I've had more than enough and have had nothing and yet I'm a survivor and a stronger person.
I've raised three beautiful daughters and have seven grandchildren. I'm successful in life and my heart is full to overflowing.
Life is good afterall. Yes, it would be Heavenly to meet someone who would accept me just as I am, who would love me, respect me and cherish our love.
But, if it doesn't happen, this woman has learned in all things to be content and find the greatest happiness and pleasure in helping others. I'd like to have money. Who wouldn't? I'd like to be able to go shopping for new clothes. I haven't had any "new" clothes in years except for one pair of jeans and a sweater and a tshirt.
I buy my clothes at Goodwill but I look like a million because I've learned how to have nothing and make something beautiful out of it. Its the way I was raised. | |
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| What do you bring to the table!!
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:44:54 AM |
I know who and what I am....and believe me after 53 years of being a woman and knowing women...I can say that I do have a heckuva lot to bring ....and it's non-negotiable...
53? really?? You don't look it at all.
My problem is trying to find a woman under 40 who thinks like you do, and has your values. It's a lot harder that you think. Apparently, a lot of women under 40 HAVE bought into this media version of bimbo women. | |
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