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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?      Home login  
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 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 76
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

they must be the best guys ever,fancy having no stress in your life,but that what makes life worth it at time.

husbands,kids,lovers,isnt thats what its all about?
Bet they have a disese,like,aversion to even getting close to anyone and at least having a go at life.


^^^Not necessarily. Not having a wife/husband and kids does not mean people don't have stress in their lives.

Is having a "go at life" defined by marriage and children? Not at all. Unmarried people do have relationships, family, etc....they just opt for whatever their reasons are to not take that route (marriage/kids).

For me life is about; being the best person/daughter/sister I can be while fulfilling my life goals and living a happy/healthy life!!! The rest is gravy..............
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 77
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/8/2010 9:23:22 AM

they must be the best guys ever,fancy having no stress in your life,but that what makes life worth it at time.
husbands,kids,lovers,isnt thats what its all about?
Bet they have a disese,like,aversion to even getting close to anyone and at least having a go at life.


One only need ask if you have worn those rose coloured glasses your entire life? Gee, I seem to have experienced stress and all the other things that accompany day-to-day living the same as any other human being does as they walk through the path of life. The only exception is that the stress that I experience is not shared with anyone but borne entirely upon my own shoulders. It is a choice I made consciously.

I haven't looked upon my life as a "disease" or an "aversion to getting close to anyone" or "at least having a go at it" as you so succintly stated that those of us who chose a path other than marriage . Exhibiting tunnel vision, especially when donning rose coloured glasses, leaves one with a narrow view.
 zeeba2
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 78
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/8/2010 3:48:38 PM
dream01,

Sorry, but I am a bit confused by your reply. Are you talking specifically about never-married men, or about never-married people in general?

Whatever the gender, that's a dangerous assumption to make in terms of not wanting to get close to anyone, having a go at life, etc. You must also consider the reality that perhaps never-married people have wished to form sustaining long-term relationships, maybe culminating in marriage. Remember...it takes two to commit and to marry, and both must be willing. It is entirely possible that those in that category never met anyone who wished the same. That's absolutely my reality, anyway. I would very much have liked to form a long-term relationship in my 20s and my 30s, and I really wanted to be married. I simply didn't meet any men who wanted the same as me.

My sweetie came along when he was 39 years old and I was 46! His situation was exactly the same as mine; he most likely would have been married much sooner in life, but he also hadn't met any women who were interested in more than just the short-term.

We must never make assumptions about any marital status. While I'm not a fan of divorce, for instance, it would be wrong of me to judge anyone who has been divorced. I have no way of knowing what their situations were like that divorce was the outcome.

I don't mean to sound chiding, but having heard so many incorrect perceptions of myself over the years, I've learned not to prejudge.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 79
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/8/2010 4:03:05 PM

husbands,kids,lovers,isnt thats what its all about?

you wonder if people who define themselves by their relationships know who they are - or even if they exist - when no one else is around.
 92sc
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 80
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/10/2010 5:37:29 PM
It's been rough I went to a dealer and test drove a mini van. As I drove I thought about selling my motorcycles and drumset and boat , etc and imagined kids in the back seat as the imaginary wife told me joey needs this and jimmy needs that and how the water heater isnt working right. I went back to the dealer and told him its neat but I'm not ready yet.


" they must be the best guys ever,fancy having no stress in your life,but that what makes life worth it at time.
husbands,kids,lovers,isnt thats what its all about?
Bet they have a disese,like,aversion to even getting close to anyone and at least having a go at life." .......nope anybody can breed......
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 81
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/23/2010 12:15:40 AM
Not everyone has a midlife crisis ~ and this kind of cliche seems to only happen in western lifestyles !, where people make life so complicated !

~stevie
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 82
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 10/23/2010 12:31:56 PM
I'm kissing the ground in gratitude myself and am on the verge of buying my 1st home. And...they tell me that it is never too late to fall in love. Sometimes it isn't a bad thing to be what society considers a late bloomer. It's all good!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 83
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 1/2/2011 10:31:40 PM
never married, no kids,
garage full of bikes,
a jeep
a classic convertible
finishing a Masters Degree
Heading overseas.

No crisis needed.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 84
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 1/3/2011 6:00:23 AM
I think (mid life crisis) it's when you want what you haven't got/haven't experienced because the realization of a life half over suddenly hits...

so maybe for those never married, they want to get that way... for those with no kids, they want them?

Just guessing :)
 whatevs_meh
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 85
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 1/15/2011 6:43:48 AM

never married, no kids,
garage full of bikes,
a jeep
a classic convertible
finishing a Masters Degree
Heading overseas.

No crisis needed.


Well no kidding you're not going through a crisis. You have your crisis kit at the ready. How would you even know if you're going through one? Would you have a burning desire to put up a white picket fence and buy a minivan?
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 86
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 2/16/2011 6:46:03 PM
Like King Henry VIII of England, not having a son and heir?

A mid life crisis is when you wake up and say to yourself "Is this all there is?" That can happen to anyone, married, single, widowed, or divorced, under 45 or over 45.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 87
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 2/16/2011 6:52:16 PM

Like King Henry VIII of England, not having a son and heir?

Bad example.He was married repeatedly and had many children.That psycho b*st*rd doesn't fit the topic of the thread at all.
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 88
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 2/17/2011 3:35:28 PM
I am 51, never married, and have no kids. Personally I couldn't be happier and have no regrets. I am not going through a midlife crisis as I don't feel I have missed out on anything. I had a fantastic career in the military and seen as well done things people can only dream about. What is there to regret? I am still happy with my life; I get out with my friends, I travel, I still take classes to learn new things; and best of all I am almost debt free as I didn't have anyone to support. Honestly other than work stress and of course debt stress; I haven't had any major stress that has taken its toll on me. I think kids and marriage would be stressful as you have to wear many hats and have to please everyone but yourself. At least this is how my married friends describe it. Most wish they never had kids or a spouse and wish they could just be alone for a while. So, i am thinking I am lucky to not have married or had any kids. My only downside is trying to keep the weight off at my age which means many hours working out and watching everything I eat; but if that is the worst of it; then I will get through it.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 89
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/1/2011 2:46:44 PM
the white picket fence and mini van would indeed by a crisis for me.

One of the prominent stickers on the ADV bike is
"Death before Minivan"
 agapos
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 90
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/2/2011 12:17:13 PM
Spending a lot of time reflecting; trying to reconcile mentally the emotional mistakes they have made; either in their minds or meeting up with interested parties from the past.

Mid-life crisis for me was a time for rejuvenation, in spirit, not at all in flesh. I made advances in leaps to questions about life. I started to truly know myself, enjoy myself, and play with myself. I need people very little now, I've become an incomplete recluse (i.e. an almost complete recluse), and I found my voice. I like to talk with it incessantly, mainly about myself, and the presence of a company to hear it and appreciate it is not at all required, but it's great when there is one.

You must be right, OP, this does not sound very much like a crisis. When I dropped the engine from my 97 Toyota on my chest coz I though I was still 24, and thought that I could still get up from under the car and carry the five-hundred pound engine to the other village, was a crisis, though, and it hurt.
 agapos
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 91
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/2/2011 12:22:16 PM
Not everyone has a midlife crisis ~ and this kind of cliche seems to only happen in western lifestyles !, where people make life so complicated !

True! and where people live long enough to have a midlife, and in large enough numbers so that their concern is a noticable tile in the mosiac of their western culture.

If five people in history so far had lived to be over 40 in the west, there would be not even an expression for "midlife crisis".

And we make things complicated because we have a lot of time on our hands. Complication is entertaining, that replaces the boredom that we would have with all our free extra available time. The industrial revolution made the production of goods time-efficient, and we don't need 17 hours every day to scavenge for food or to hunt it down, and prepare and eat it, and bang, having lost the entire day just doing that.

Instead of worrying about basic survival, we worry about complicated things, otherwise we would be bored silly.
 agapos
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 92
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/2/2011 12:37:36 PM
I think (mid life crisis) it's when you want what you haven't got/haven't experienced because the realization of a life half over suddenly hits...

Oh, it's so true... I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, screaming in pain for the irreplacable loss of things and experiences I missed.

Let's see.

1. A hunchback.
2. Crucifiction.
3. Fear of eternal life. (I am okay with a terminal life.)
4. Speeding through the known universe at a stupefying speed, reaching the end, bouncing right back at the edge, and speeding through the same universe the opposite direction. Yeeha!!!
5. More boring lectures on differential calculus, and its basic paradigmic connectedness mentally and emotionally to the Spanish Inquisition.
6. Five more presidential terms for George W. Bush. (The second guy in the family -- the idiotic madman-ish sadistic Christian Crusader bigot.)
7. Being born thrity years earlier, and getting so scared from the first King Kong movie, that I would need to suck on all my lucky balls at the same time to have the courage to walk home in the dark. (Dad, this is true, told me he had had a difficult time handling the fear after he had seen that movie in the thirties.)
8. The third man at all my sexual encounters, as well as the tubs of old raw beef hides around the bed.
9. Julius Caesar and his victory speeches.
10. Sitting through more Wagner operas than I absolutely needed to do and which is barely tolerable for one lifetime.
 Seakytten
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 93
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/8/2011 9:58:55 AM
I don't have any children and I've been single for the last 27 years so my 'mid-life' crisis has been going on for years I think. Actually OP, I see myself as a book with each chapter revealing something new about what I still want to do or where I want to be.

I still love to travel and I've planned a few trips in the future to Africa and Egypt. I can go alone and have just as good of a time as if I were going with someone else. I still want to sky dive at some point...it isn't a priority but it's on my list. I wanted to start an aquarium a few years ago and now I have a 55-gallon fresh water aquarium with the most beautiful fish you've ever seen..next year I plan to start a salt water aquarium raising coral..I guess I just never stopped dreaming about what I wanted to do when I turned 30, 40 or even 50 and made sure that whatever path I took in life I would still have the choice to make whatever dream I wanted come true. :) If that's a mid-life crisis then I've been in it for the last 40 years. lol

I'm just glad I don't want a tattoo or 10 piercings in my ears. (Although I'ma thinkin' about getting a piercing in my belly..)

kytten
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 94
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/10/2011 1:01:56 AM
If I'm going through a mid-life crisis, it's to want to get married to the love of my life.

But I don't feel in a crisis. Just the road is long and winding..
 vtsnowflake
Joined: 1/21/2011
Msg: 95
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 6/8/2011 1:02:56 PM
I'm 52, never married and no children. I don't feel I missed out, it is just something that wasn't meant to be. I had a lot of struggles in life.
Because I am maternal and had free time, I watched after my nephews when my sisters worked. I give my love to them .
I would love to have a husband to love and care for...and scold and hug, lol. But at the same time I cannot put my life on hold until this happens. If I did, it would indeed be a midlife crisis.
I can still get married and baby my husband!
 Mermaidtoo
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 96
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 6/10/2011 2:33:05 PM
Good for you!! Sounds like you might have been a bit emotionally abused by your family/mom? Anyway, I say live up to your own standards & values! You're a mature woman now, no need to give all your power away to dysfunctional family members. Get your power back by creating a 'family' of friends who love you & accept you the way you are. Join a women's group. If alcohol is a problem within your family, Alanon for women is excellent for your self-esteem & sence of yourself.
Mega congrats on your home, now how about driving lessons?
 Mermaidtoo
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 97
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 6/10/2011 2:39:47 PM
DivineBovine, I wrote you a reply, but somehow it ended up on page 4. Just wanting tolet you know...
 LoveTheThunder
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 98
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 6/18/2011 9:24:37 AM
I think that any sane person reaches a point in his/her life where they realize that more sand has passed through the hour-glass than there is remaining. One thinks about dreams and goals they had, and there comes a point when you realize "you can't have it all or do it all". At that point, people reassess what is important enough to them to change their life priorities, regardless of marriage or children.
 blueyeguy4u
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 99
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 6/18/2011 11:57:37 AM
I'm 49,never married and no kids.I rode jetskis for a living most of my adult life.I have heard of the mid-life crisis but dont think I will have one.I dont feel like I have missed out on anything in life.Dating at 50 is another story all together.It seems women over 40 that still look good and take decent care of themselves as I do,are looking for a guy with money or a guy with a harley.Finding a woman that isnt going through a mid-life crisis is almost impossible,lol.....Or maybe its Oklahoma.Has anyone actually ever seen a height to weight chart?. Its called a BMI,body mass index..I dare you to look at yours,lol..
 forumchickonly
Joined: 4/30/2013
Msg: 100
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 5/8/2013 3:12:19 AM
I have not bred nor have I married .But I do do what makes me happy and gives me "me "time . Be it a road trip in the ute or ride my motor bike or go travel overseas.Nothing to crisis about here lol
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