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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.      Home login  
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 Helen1967
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 26
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

...and so many profiles i have looked at have, well some 50+ added to folks favourites list...

I'll repeat, these are people who have added the person as a favorite, not people the person has added. Bear in mind the difference!

I have more than 50 myself lately and I have no idea who most of them are. But I'm happy to have them, whatever the reason. It's fine with me.

I'm not actively looking at present because I met someone here and it looks promising. Our profiles are both hidden because of that, though I think the way it works is that fellow forum posters may still see it. So, hey, have a gander, if you like!

But if I were looking, I'd hope that this relatively small amount of people who've favorited me wouldn't put anyone off. Some of the really sexy younger girls are on 200 to 400 favorites' lists, hey, it isn't their fault! How many do you expect them to keep deleting every day? And it doesn't mean they don't want to talk to someone they might like to date. Who might just be you. How will you know if you don't even ask?

Like I said before, see this topic:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts784179.aspx

It really lays out the whole thing from all sides.

All that aside, though - you have nothing to lose by writing, if you find someone appealing. The worst thing that can possibly happen is they won't return the interest and you'll be in the same place you were before. So what's to lose? And you might get a date! Whereas if you don't try, you almost certainly won't get one.

Just go for it!
 Hank Evans
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 27
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:59:49 PM
The favorites list is just a "ego pump" for men and women.

Personally, If there are too many ( the number is up to me... and a highly guarded secret), I move on. Really, no one regulary communicates with 50 to 70 people. If it makes them happy, they can keep 974 people on their favorites list, they are not for me.

Could women who have "high" favorite numbers be considered "internet party girls"?
 Helen1967
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 28
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:09:58 PM

Really, no one regulary communicates with 50 to 70 people.

Enter the "stupid factor."

No, of course we don't. See prior posts. The favorites list we see when we view a profile represents people who've chosen someone as a favorite, not people they've chosen as favorites.

*sigh*

Nevermind, I give up...
 Hank Evans
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 29
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:13:38 PM
army mom 53 said;


Grow some balls.


This a rude comment.

It provides nothing positive to this post.

It is clear that in additional posts, that the OP finds a "high" number of favorites as intimidating, or confusing.

To imply that the OP has no confidence is clearly incorrect.


You've apparently never heard "nothing ventured, nothing gained" have ya?


Nothing ventured, nothing gained? Sounds to me like the OP values his "assets" and doesn't throw them around "willy nilly". Hey army mom 53, you suggest men should act as poorly as the bankers who have fuked up this country for their own self centered gain? Wise men place their investments only after a clear and consise examination of the risk involved.

A "shotgun approach" to dating is clearly a waste of time.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 30
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History
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:06:04 AM

Could women who have "high" favorite numbers be considered "internet party girls"?

Yup, that's what we are!!!! Isn't that an oxymoron?

Ive decided I am keeping all my favorites and never ever deleting anyone! If someone is put off that people add me and I don't go out of my way to remove them, then we are definitely not a match! When I am on here, I am reading the forums and my mail. I am not going to sit here and weed through the people who added me. That's the point really, THEY added ME! I'm not in the habit of looking at my own profile anyway, so I never really know how many faves I have - that and I DON'T CARE!
 cosmicsnev
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 31
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:13:55 AM
Erm my point had absolutely nothing to do with getting dates.

I am dark and attract women who are dark, those are the kind of women i like, so i will leave things as they are.

I can see i wasted my time with this, all you folks want to do is throw critisism at others, its petty and bad mannered.
 openlover35
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 32
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:31:29 AM
You judge someone by a stupid "favorites list?" Are you in kindergarten?
There's times I add someone to my favorites list due to what I see their forum posts and its either funny or interesting to me. A man or a woman shouldnt be judged due to their list of favorites! I even have WOMEN adding me to theirs and vice versa. So what?!!!
One can only imagine what else you nit pick about.
I'll pass.
 bckpckr69
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 33
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:49:19 AM
I wouldn't sweat the favorites thing man. Don't let something silly like get in your way. I'm sure people use the favorites for many different reasons, so there's no telling. Make an effort to meet some women. There are some great ones on this site.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 34
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:27:09 AM

I am dark and attract women who are dark, those are the kind of women i like, so i will leave things as they are.

Okay, how many 'dark' women you come across with tons of favorites?

I think you need to re-consider what you call the amount of favorites as high. Seriously, this should be good news for you and peace of mind. 50 is not high, unless she's relatively new. If they live in a highly-populated area (or very close to one), 100 may not be -that- high... although you have to take a few other factors into consideration (if they have forum history, expect it to be higher, but that's harmless).

Basically, be ready to for your emails to be brushed off. It's part of the game. And if you're looking for a 'dark' woman, of the ones you find on here, I doubt many are going to be sitting on 150 favorites!
 augst
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 35
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History
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:43:07 AM
I was told the same thing about how many had me listed as favorites. I had no idea I was listed that many times and when I looked at who had added me, only met one of the 15 and only chatted with 2 of the 15. Just a thought to keep in mind if you are looking at the favorites totals.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 36
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:56:18 AM
If you had 150 instead of 15, then you would have only chatted with 20 of -those-. Then add in how many you would have chatted with who DIDN'T add you as a favorite...

Hey, I dont think people should be that scared about the # of favorites -- but a very high # = extremely high liklihood of very high communication volume, in relation to a very low #.

Just because many of your favorites never have the courage to email ya, doesn't mean you're not getting email from other people. MANY interested parties won't even favorite you, but it's a comparison sample of those who are interested! People who "plan" on writing you (or just staring) is an indicator of how many people do and how much traffic volume you get. I'm sure Brad Pitt has a lot of people who PLAN on writing him a fan letter, but don't. That doesn't mean he doesn't get fan letters.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 37
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History
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:07:05 PM

Well i've been on here a good half a year now, and so far dated no one, haven't made any real attempt to get to know anyone either, reason being on most occassions i look at how many are on the womans favourite list, and quite often there is a good few, this is putting me off for some reason. I guess i'm wondering if folks are serial daters. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

I've met ONE person on my favorites list. Guess that just goes to show: it doesn't mean jack.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 38
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:50:23 PM
You do nothing. You get nothing. You will fail at 100% of the chances that you will not take.
 forumgenie
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 39
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 2:02:20 PM
OP - like others have already informed you, the Favorites section has NOTHING to do with the person whose profile you've perused. It only shows people who have some type of interest in this person. It's the equivalent of asking 50 men in a bar "What do you think of the girl wearing the gold dress?'." SHE hasn't dated every body and chances are she NEVER dated any of her 'Favorites' as most faves never initiate contact.

Personally, I think 'Favorites' should be disbanded from this site as it doesn't serve a purpose. If you are interested in someone, email them, for God's sakes. Gosh, how NOVEL is that? Some people 'favorite' others as they like the first POFer's posts. To tell the truth, I'd rather have Forum Fans than Faves. But like Rhett said to Scarlett in 'Gone With The Wind', "My dear, I don't give a damn." And I don't either whether I am single or not.
 Forumhobbit
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 40
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:56:19 PM

I think you've answered your own question.



so far dated no one,



Followed by...



haven't made any real attempt to get to know anyone either


Ditto.

Start making some contact, man! Start getting involved and start getting to know people! A favorites list doesn't mean squat. I'm on like 7 or 8.... big deal. Most of them are either people I know personally (friends or people I went to school with) or forum pals. There's even a couple people who added me and I have no clue who the hell they are.... but whatever. Quit stressing over the favorites thing! There's so many bigger fish to fry!@
 Briannazg2
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 6:40:02 PM

I've met ONE person on my favorites list. Guess that just goes to show: it doesn't mean jack.
or Jill lol (too much fresh air today)

Well start lying about everything, that will win them over

Women lie about weight/age, men lie about income and height lmao hell wearing mascara is a lie, so is using deodorant, huge olfactory dishonesty I say!!

Think of your profile like a resume only its *online* and you arent Tom,****or Harry you are "insert corny arse nic here" and what comes off as "in shape dude, very nice, great humor" is really "male pattern balding, out of shape weirdo, teetering on thoughts of depression and likes to clean guns blindfolded, seeks model".... so lie

and besides everyone knows that *alot of women* on POF has at least 1 undescended testicle
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 42
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:21:16 PM
Your title thread: "Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating" perhaps should be changed to "Not sure about dating members on POF with gazillions number of fav"

Number of fav does not mean anything, it is super easy to become a star on POF, actually. Believe me, and what's really hard is trying to live up to others expectations. Do missing 'roses' on profiles also bothering ya? Well, last month one of 'be mine roses' attached itself inadvertently to an e-mail I was exchanging with a girlfriend. Oh well, it was meant to be, no regrets actually, hahahaha...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 43
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/12/2009 8:04:02 PM

OP - like others have already informed you, the Favorites section has NOTHING to do with the person whose profile you've perused.

Some people have informed them of their take on it. It doesn't show much about their personal qualities and favorite colors, etc., you're right. But with good statistical probability, indicates how busy they are though, on -wide- comparison scales, with basic things considered (how long they've been on, are they in the forums which is rare). They don't have to be dating everyone on the favorites list (who does?). That's not the concern.

The concern is how many emails are they getting, thus how many guys they are probably dealing with. Is it a ton every day? Favorites, on sizable scales vs lower scales, indicate how much attention they get. Disagree?

Favorites are bookmarks. It's how many people have bookmarked you. Put aside forum people, as that's statistically meaningless when it comes to all users on the site...

How many people have bookmarked them is going to be an indicator of how much attention they draw. Plain and simple. They're 1 week new but have 50 favorites already? They're getting more activity than a person who's been on longer or the same time who has 5.

Oh, you'll note exceptions, but it's about statistical probability.

With all that said, no, someone shouldn't AVOID the high-favorites, and only go to low-level favorites. But all things being equal, and not enough time to write everyone? Of the parties of interest, start with the ones with non-super-high favorites in general. Not splitting hairs at all. Splitting hairs would be 15 vs 30. Yeah, pretty meaningless... 200 vs 35? Yes, big difference. 200's getting way more emails than 35 -- to a high level of probability. People who are getting tons of emails have tons of bookmarks comparatively speaking.
 cosmicsnev
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 44
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:00:19 AM
Waves back from West Park.

Hello back, i was tired yesterday, and never thought the post through properly, then i started getting a bit frustrated with everyone getting on my back about either contacting women or how my profile looks, so if i'm honest with myself now, it was a dumb post. but saying that i still won't change my approach to this, i'm not going to start bombarding women with mail, yes finding someone would be nice, but its not the be all at the moment.
I have emailed maybe a handful, and yes in most cases never got a reply, but few catch my eye.

Now you've added me to your fav list, will i be getting them all calling me a hypocrite today? lol

nev
 duckwet866
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 45
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:13:42 AM
its a gamble really,
just like buying a ticket on the mega millions,
they say you have to play to win
so make an effort to know someone
write to them and see if you get a response back
if that dont work go to the next one write her,

or maybe change your picture
put one of you having fun with your freinds
I must say some of the pictures on here scare me off
 lonely_eyes89
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 46
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 8:50:35 AM
the fave list shudnt get in ur way at all.. im on 20 ppls fave list and i only know a couple of them.. i fink ppl see u,find u attractive,so they just add u. nothing 2 worry about. its just like ya contatct numbers in ya mobile phone. what if u dated a woman hu had way more numbers in her phone than u? wud u let that get in the way? just means shes a very social person. dont giv up on dating. this is actualy a gud website.. i met a man on here 2 weeks ago.. been seeing him since,i no its not long,but its goin wel and im happy.. i wud never fink u cud find sum1 on the internet. but keep ya hopes up :)
 herewego-64
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 47
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 9:53:49 AM
Hey Cosmicsnev,

Found your thread interesting and it's a point one or two people have raised with me before, so you're not the only person to perhaps feel a little put off by a vast faves list!

I can only confirm what has already been said, and that the vast majority of men who have added me to theirs have never even said hi to me! I have a system of deleting such folk after a few weeks as I really don't see the point in collecting admirers who remain silent!

One other thing before I go, dare I ask.......how do you feel about testimonials??

 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 48
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:53:34 PM
Hey OP,

I don't really get the purpose of the Favorites, as I have none myself. I guess it's a recommendation and while it can be intimidating (she has 400 favorites, what's the chance she'll talk to me?) I think that taking no action will guarantee the result you think will happen.....will actually happen.

Also, I also wonder about the testimonials. I often see guys rating women saying things like "She is tall, beautiful, has a great sense of humor, blah blah blah". However, if many of these guys are single, I sometimes think....So why aren't you dating her if she's so perfect!?

Luckily I'm not looking anymore...

BTW: Don't mind the rude people here, some people have no manners and don't know how to response sincerely to a sincere question (which I feel your original question was).
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 49
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:32:19 PM
Just because a woman appears on 10 or 1000 people's favorites list doesn't mean she's a serial dater.

Online dating is about putting your best foot forward, taking chances, and taking your time.
 pro-filer
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 50
Not sure about Plenty of Fish as a way of dating.
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:24:25 PM
Most people on faves list never contact the person they're drooling over and the one so admired rarely writes the admirer. So the faves list seems to be some kind of mechanism whereby people do not connect. Cool, huh?

Anyway, if too many faves put you off, try getting to know women who have fewer faves.
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