| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:35:11 PM | I agree with Rush.. i feel the same way..
when i first learned about forums i would just read and read and never put my own two cents in... but once i did it i felt good knowing i gave somene some advice.. take it or leave it.. we all have different problems and maybe just one of our answers could turn out to be what someone else is going through... then you could relate and also feel like you're not the only one going through something and its really not the end of the world... they survived and so will you....
these forums definitely have benefits.. theres nothing bad i could say about them..
and even if you dont get the advice you need, its still a passtime and interesting to see what other people have to say or what other people are going through....
they could be addicting too... lol | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:35:59 PM | Yes they have. You get loads of info, a good amount of opinions and lots of " Cool, I was'nt the only one" moments. =) It can be a minefield.
What you say can be mis-used against you. Alot of people will use whatevers handy to make themselves look better at someones elses expense without really taking the time to read.
I see how sometimes even I can be a azz. ( I know it is hard to believe) *rolls eyes*
Gives you a place to argue, tell your opinions, hear other peoples take on things. I like having good debates/arguments/scuffles. You can get a very wide spectrum of views on just about anything. Great way to spend a hour or five.
 | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:48:26 PM | When I am overwhelmed or need some relaxation I go to the forums. I love to read them and some are fun, some are sad and some absurd.
I must mention that some are even a whole new thing to me...almost like if I was taking Sexual Education 101 !!! I was shocked about some of what is posted in that section.
I also have seen how some people seem to enjoy smashing other people, when they have a simple question. People might even be acting wrong, but they still have the right to get an answer.
Its ok to let them know they are wrong, but not to almost verbally abuse them with an air of superiority.
I learned to be tolerant to people's ignorance in some few cases. And I definitely have learned to appreciate myself and never sell me short.... I have read more than one dozen sad stories of people that let themselves being taken advantage of.
Bottom line, YES, forums have helped me.
G. | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 5:16:44 PM | 2irish1, in answer to your question, no.
I find most of the topics and post tremendously funny and get a good bit of entertainment out of much that is written and occassionally, I get to actually gripe about something worthless when I've had a bad day really at work...lol.
For the most part, I hang out over here because I have always enjoyed helping people to succeed. So, while I am single, I am really not trying all that hard to not be single...lol If I were, I would not be here in this forum....  | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 6:32:25 PM | I'm new to this forum thing. It's definately entertaining!
I started reading the posts after a gentleman caught my eye on pof. I took note that he posted...a lot. I read every single one. The more I read...the more he intrigued me. At times he has me in absolute hysterics, and then he blowes me away with his to the point advice. It is amazing how much those posts have opened my eyes to his thought processes. What a wonderful way to get to know a man. Keep on posting....I will happily be your audience! | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 6:59:28 PM | | These forums have helped me formulate (forumulate?) a perfect defense against dating. All I had to do was read enough of the threads about what women want, how they think about men, what they dislike about men and dating and relationships, taking the very worst from each thread and combine it into one noisy tangle of disgruntledness that I can ascribe to the imagined woman whom it would be my great misfortune to date, if ever I did ask someone out and got a date, that is, which I won't now because she is in my deepest fears the monster I have thus created. My Frankenstein's Bride scarecrow composite woman serves the purpose of keeping me safe from being devoured by love's gaping maw. Without these forums I would have had to collect her various parts slowly, painfully, one date at a time, and it would have taken years of successively worse dates to gather that many excuses. | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:08:28 PM | No, not at all.
What it does do is helps me realize how lucky I am to be me! When I'm feeling down, I sign on and read about how screwed up so many people really are, and what ever it is that's bothering me just disappears.
Only 2% of any threads or posts would have any likeness to my life. The rest are full of what I see as fake, drama filled, attention seeking, childish, you've got to be kidding me, who can really be this damn stupid, How did this person ever survive childhood, special bus rider with soft head gear, Shallow end of the gene pool, look at me I'm to fecking stupid to grow up, everyone else is to blame, She's pregnant and we haven't had sex yet is she cheating, man bashing, woman hating, backwoods, inbred, insanity to name a few.
And thats why I sign on the rest of the time. To laugh my a$$ off. | |
|
| |
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:26:19 AM | Oh my,
Disgruntled POFer's! Guys 2% of all the suggestions, ideas, opinions, experiences...is good...that's more than I'd find useful...but...saying that...I do find useful stuff...and that's what makes it all worth while.
That and my dog Spot get's to laugh at the crazy bat**it stuff.
Irish | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:36:31 AM | I am not so sure they'll help with dating but they are fun. In the beginning I just came here and read sometimes laughing so hard that tears were flowing. Then one day I just couldn't help myself and had to post a answer too.
It has definitely showed me that I am wayyyyy too normal. | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:38:10 AM | The forums have helped me.. I enjoy the time I spend with them immensely, and I've had many a great conversation start because of some of my postings. Many of the people that have emailed me or IM'd me never would have if they hadn't seen something in my posts that interested them, or sparked them to react..
For me, reading other people's views and experiences also help me put things into perspective when I'm having one of those 'off' moments.. other times, I'm just laughing like a fool at what I'm reading, or learning things that I've never even heard of before on the 'Sex and Dating' threads... | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:38:54 AM |
Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Hasn't done a thing for me either way. Most of the people in my area (who are on this site) don't use the forums.. zzzZZZZ
I don't rely on forums for meeting that special someone ..I do enjoy them for the sharing of opinions, ideas and FUN - And I have found some very good Friends as a result of forums.
Any 'dates' I've had are because they found 'something' on my profile appealing .. could be my squinting in the sun glam shot!!!  | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:58:38 AM | Yo Posters,
See, ya'll when the sun sets....wahooo...skiing....
But, poster's I also created a laundry list of things that I'd found helpful...I just had to narrow the thread title.
could be my squinting in the sun glam shot
Yea, that did it for me!!! And your so not "Lenny" humor.....squinty | |
|
Tuanda
|
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 39 | |
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:22:57 AM | Newbie here...the forums are very good and somewhat eye opening.
Too early to tell if they will help with dating and relationships but certainly lots of good perspectives to ponder on.
I find the ones most interesting are the ones that would naturally oppose where I am coming from. Gives you the chance to really examine some other points of view and and even re-evaluate your own.
It's also been helpful in getting some kind of persepective on what it's like out there and what the common experiences seem to be. | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:53:36 AM | In the forums;
I found a lot of things that I could take, or that struck a chord in various threads and posts.
I found a phrase that summed up what I felt but could not express, I found new views that made me question where I stood or where I was.
I found discussions about situations that were new to me, and situatons that may soon apply.
I'm sure they have helped me work through things tha needed my attention, and I hope that these lessons will help me in future relationships.
I have moved past reading the forums for the primary purpose of seeking answers, but I still read them every day. I'm mostly a lurker, but as I find my head is clearer and I'm not as absorbed by my own life, I am developing the temptation to contribute. | |
|
| |
| |
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:33:31 AM | Posting for me is always a release of one kind or another:
Initially, it began as a mental "recess" while studying medicine.
Next it became a mind opener - like stretching your muscles it expands my thinking.
Sometimes it's a release valve for my acerbic pissy wit, sadly I can do harm.
Last it's always good for some laughs at the amazingly stupid people and the incredibly SEXY, brilliant, smart asses on here.
 you know who you are!!!! | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:54:45 AM | Reading and posting on the forums has helped me better define who and what I am - by bouncing my ideas and opinions around and seeing in black and white which ones I'm willing to alter or compromise and which ones are (literally) a part of me has helped me fine tune the new but not necessarily improved me.
And even though I've always done my own thing, it is comforting to know that there are other like-minded fishies in the pond.
Also, I appreciate seeing the other (or many) side of an argument, specially when it's well presented. It helps me understand their stance better and I get to see the reasoning behind their opinions even if it differs from mine.
Like yesterday for example, someone simply said point taken to one of my post after we informally agreed to disagree - just the fact that someone is willing to hear and respect your opinions is what the forums are all about IMO and what makes them all worthwhile.
For the first year I was here, I posted mainly on the religion forums which is now hidden. And that was like a revelation to me...it's where I first realized the power of the, or more preciselly "my" written word and of sharing them on an Internet forum. I had never been part of an Internet community before I came here - no chats, no MSN, nothing - dang, I didn't even have an email address before I joined POF. And many people I met when I first came here became like friends to me and the forums became my lifeline - a bit (or a lot) pathetic perhaps, but true.
As far as relationships go, the forums have only confirmed what I already knew - my ex husband was/is one in a million and even though we didn't have one tenth of the problems I see daily on here, we still didn't make it.
And that's what is always at the back of my mind each time I read of yet another couple who argues about money or chores or some other "terrible" thing that their significant other has done or not done...why why why why didn't we make it?? So on a personal level, the forums haven't helped at all...they have only made me feel sadder and left me with more questions than I started with.
But as the old cliché goes, I am, like everyone else, a work in progress and I haven't given hope of finding the answers to my questions...perhaps I'll find them here, perhaps not...we'll see, in the meantime, happy posting:)
Oh and happy March 14th to all the guys;)
IMHO | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:06:08 PM | Hey Posters,
Well the endorphin are really moving after a day of skiing...the kids had a great time...learning how to turn and stop....yes, this "is" important...at least while skiing..
Oh, GoneSailinBabe, thank you so very much:
Last it's always good for some laughs at the amazingly stupid people and the incredibly SEXY, brilliant, smart asses on here.
you know who you are!!!!
I know that all apply's to me but the amazingly stupid part....I hope...
Yes, reading a lot of posts help me to realize how normal I really am but unfortunately I am also beginning to think I am in the minority! LOL!
wisea$$....eye roll...belly shakes....thinking such rye humor...
Happy Patty's day all
Irish | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:10:03 AM | | Must have been a lot of excessive green beer drinking...hangovers...cause there was a lot of thread rant over the weekend... and I'm thinking that the things I already knew...I still know...Therefore, all I learned from forums this past weekend is we cannot agree to disagree....and must impose our thinking on others and make them think the same way.....sigh | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:25:30 AM | Posting helps you just have to wade through some of the nonsense. What I mean is that if you have a legit question then their are people who truly want to help. But you also have a lot of angry, frustrated people who go off on you and vent for no reason. Well, the reason being the are angry and frustrated.
But if you can get by those losers yes its helps and is a good thing. | |
|
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:39:19 AM | | Not too much. It's filled with "know-it-all's" and people who like to be armchair quarterbacks... but I find most notably, people who are quick to say "leave him (or her)". Nobody wants to work things out. | |
|
| |
| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 8:25:13 PM | Heck no! These forums don't help at all!
When I look for advice on love, I go with two things. My gut instinct and advice from my friends, who know my situation enough to give me good information.
Strangely enough, after deciding not listening to the posters after asking some questions, I hooked my own fish and am doing great.
I love the forums for the bantering that I hear from alot of people (including myself). | |
|
Home
login 
Oh heck yes... they've helped me greatly with dating/relationships...
