| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 9:45:20 PM | The forums are great... better than television even. Not only that but I can read 'em sitting in my underwear while drinkin a beer.
But really they were a good shoulder to lean a few years back and the best advise I recieved was a good kick in the butt... | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/16/2009 10:04:43 PM | I've learned that many, many people harbour deeply sexist feelings. More people feel this way than I would have thought. A large number of men blame the feminist movement for all the ills of society; this seems to me to be a rather unmanly stance, and yet it is a stance adhered to rigorously by many. This is good information to know when dating.
I also have learned that many people hate fat people. I don't just mean that many men find overweight women unattractive ( I knew that already). I mean that there are men and women who absolutely despise fat people. Those people argue that they just don't like fat because it shows the person doesn't care about his or her health, or that they must be lazy, but the truth is fat people are seen as lesser human beings by a lot of otherwise reasonable people.
I wouldn't say that this info has helped me with dating; rather it has made me feel less like dating at all. I guess that's helpful. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:39:36 AM | Dear Kristin Poster,
Ah, the painful experience of posting and e-dating....I can relate to that
May I offer you some advise? Not that I'm a relationship, e-dating, fora guru....but, I have some experience here, and have a lifetime of my own limited experiences.
So, with that being said, here's my unsolicited recomendation for you:
1) Have a friend take some nice photo's of you...pick the best 3 and post them with little snappy comment and the date of the pic..."everyone" wants to see who they are communicating with.
2) Ramp-up your profile a little...try to show a little about yourself that differentiates you from Jane Doe...look at mine if you'd like...look to other posters who you find you respect and check out their profiles...a profile evolves...it gets better...and that makes more activity....which makes dating fun..
3) Ignore and stay away from posters who offend you...and threads that invite you to a flame war...sexist, racist, abusive people are here as well as in the real world..oh...and by the way...there are many men here who absolutely love plus sized women!!!
4) Look to threads for information and fun....once in a while there's some great advise out here...one or two little tidbits that really do help.
5) Don't get down on yourself...this is a wayyyy hard thing we do...looking for love...It's filled with way too much rejection built into a very short period of time....in the real world there wouldn't be this many opportunities to be rejected....but, who knows maybe????there's someone here for "you" too..
Best wishes my friend,
Irish | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:06:57 PM | Hi Irish.
I tried to send you an email thanking you for your words or support, but I was blocked; I must have a photo to contact this user...lol
I just don't feel I can do the photo thing at this time. I am a teacher, and while it is not forbidden, I have been strongly encouraged by my principal not to do it. I am pretty sure lots of the students' dads are single (not just in my class, but the whole school)so they may be on POF. I don't care about the dads knowing, but I don't want the students knowing my business. Period. I have photos that I will send if I hit it off with a person via email.
If people were to see me, they would see that I am not, in fact, plus sized. I do carry a FEW extra pounds. I don't really feel down on myself about that so much as disgusted by the people who absolutely hate and despise fat people. I have my own standards and I totally understand that we don't have any control over what attracts us. I get that. What I have a problem with is the people who take it so far as to see fat people as a joke, or lesser human beings because of it. Trust me, they feel this way and post it on the boards for all to see. See, if a man saw me and found me attractive, but I knew he had been trashing fat women on the boards, I wouldn't want anything to do with him. So yes, the fora are extremely valuable in terms of dating. When men message me, I immediately read everything they have posted, and very often, based on what I read, I don't respond. They probably do the same. So, yes the fora are very useful when it comes to dating.
I probably will take the time to add more to my profile, as I think you are right about that. Have a great day! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:11:11 PM | Hell yeah it does, I learn from everyone's own walks and experiences of what to put up with and what not to. And I thank all of you for participating in the forums you all helped me become a lot stronger. Thank You  | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:14:31 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^........................................
Personally.. I'd prefer to learn all about relationships form having.. at least one! Well.. one good one.
I think the forums passes the time when there's nothing else to do.. and.. gives us ole wise folks a chance to pass on some.. some.. little bits of wisdom to all the young whipper snappers in POF.
Entertainment! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:17:07 PM | | Its really interesting and suprising, to find out what people think about so many subjects. I have learned what all the relationship/dating rules are here at pof.....and I will break most of them... | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:24:08 PM | lol redarcangel,
it's better that I learn from the forums, seriously I learned a lot more from here than to read a dating book (tho there are 2 dating books I like that I read from time to time but anyway) The forums help and some threads are just pure jokes which doesn't cost a thing. Good Advice is Golden :-) | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:27:19 PM | | I like the forums because I found out that: in ways I thought I was alone, I am far from alone; some issues are more controversial and cause more bitterness than I'd ever dreamed (ie;who pays); and to see that there really are more perspectives on any one issue than one "right" one. Yet, the forums do not give me hope that I will eventually find the right one. They make me feel the opposite. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:38:36 PM | Gawd dam...these forums are addictive! And yea, every once in awhile this old f*rt gets to chip in a word of wisdom that may even reach an ear...I've got my little list up as OPoster of things that have helped...there's prob a little more to add but can't think of them right off the bat...the list is prob longer as to what to ignore....lol
Hey Kristin,
I see the problem with pics...and please....in no way was I saying anything unkind about you...I'm sure you know that already...Just hang in there...it's really a hard thing we do...it's not for the faint hearted....and posters are just cyber people who do, in fact, live in the real world....here's a statment I use now and again:
The anonymity of the internet allows us to abandon all social grace, civility, and normal boundries....so in some sense...the real truth comes out in forums about people...but they might just be having a bad day too....been there done that....
hmmmm....who pays...It is the quentisential question!!!
Best to All!
Irish | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:03:47 PM | I mostly stick to the off topic and Science/philosophy threads. I find them more interesting.
As far as the forums helping with dating and relationships, they help with figuring out who NOT to contact. lol They also help with knowing everyone is in the same boat. It doesn't seem to matter who they are or what they look like, they are experiencing the same online dating "stuff". Such as rude people, people not responding to emails, etc. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 9/7/2009 6:35:21 AM | Yes they do but only to a certain extent. A lot of what's on here is more like a week of Springer...oldies but goodies...and is so often out-of-this-world weird. But the odd time that I feel a bit stumped on the way something is going in my dating and relating I can usually search the threads and find something that has usually been queried that's somewhat similar....and while not an exact fit...it's usually close enough to help in some way.
I think the best part of the forums is how you can learn about the opposite sex and the in my instance how men tend to think. It's not that everyone has the same thinking...but there are some general similarities and some 'typing' that becomes apparent over time - always interesting.
And I can't even begin to suggest how 'enlightening' reading the sex board has been...!
Reading and posting on the forums has helped me better define who and what I am - by bouncing my ideas and opinions around and seeing in black and white which ones I'm willing to alter or compromise and which ones are (literally) a part of me has helped me fine tune the new but not necessarily improved me.
And even though I've always done my own thing, it is comforting to know that there are other like-minded fishies in the pond.
^^^I see it this way too.
....(except for that cute Canadian who's never said anything about killing me , yet - you know who you are). ^^^^Now this makes me wonder...! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:28:16 PM | msg 62..thats right, who NOT to date (lol) can be very helpful!
but obtaining advice aside,i really get on the forums mostly as a downtime and an escape from the quick superficial messages in my inbox here on POF ...such as..
*"hey hows it going"
*" nice weather eh"
*"waz up"..etc etc . it just doesnt stimulate me. i love to communicate with others and dont get a real chance @ work so this can be quite entertaining ! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:55:35 PM | The forums served two useful purposes for me.
One, typing in here helped me to type email to women....ALOT!
For guys who suck at email/typing/texting...I highly recommend it.
Two, I can be moody, but am oblivious to it.
If I get too snarky or sarcastic in the forums I slowly back away from the PC
and knew not to send out email to ladies.
If I'm witty and good in here, I generally typed some good emails.
An unintended result was I met some really cool girls in the forums.
Made alot of freinds and enjoyed the hell out of it.
Still do. | |
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