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 lonely_eyes89
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 51
heartache over much a younger woman Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
it really annoys me that people are so harsh about age gaps these days. so what if she was 30 years younger, ovbisouly they fell in love and had some good 4 years of memoris together. if the age gap was that bad it wouldnt of lasted 4 years. im 19 and im dating a 31 year old. ive had people telling me its sick, and that hes only using me and that me and him should both find some one our own ages. wel i think thats totaly wrong. age is just a number. it shouldnt matter who you date, wether its the age,race,sex whatever.. if your both happy then whats the problem? people shud stop been so judgemental these days and start living ther own life. and as for the answer 2 ur question OP, its lovely that yous both stil talk, but if u still have feelings for her and shes has none for you, your gonna keep gettin your hopes up and then gettin let down again, this aint good for your heart. u need to tell her that you cant talk until your heart has totaly healed. it will take time.. but you will get there:)
 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 52
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/16/2009 1:47:45 PM
Wait a minute Jumbie 564, don't you find it the least bit ironic that the OP is soliciting wisdom from others when he is in fact older than pretty well everyone who has replied? Shouldn't it be the other way around, where the young early 30s woman probes advice? Sorry, but there is something a$$ backward and surreal here. Personally, I don't think OP is lamenting the demise of a relationship as much as the recognition that his youth has suddenly grown pale and spectre thin. Funny how the baby boomers depicit themselves in the media as the generation that never grew old, yet it seems that OP recieved a hard cold dose of reality. To reiterate, what I find most sad here isn't that OP was involved in an intergenerational relationship, but that in doing so and in his response to the quietus of the affair, he is refusing to acknowledge his age and that he is indeed old. This is a rather unhealty recalcitrance in my opinion.

In closing, I pose a question which I also mentioned to the OP earlier: Would you date a woman who at 25, is half your age?
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 53
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:36:03 AM

im 19 and im dating a 31 year old.

Yet, your profile suggests nothing of the sort.


ovbisouly they fell in love and had some good 4 years of memoris together. if the age gap was that bad it wouldnt of lasted 4 years


The thing is, those kind of relationships rarely last. As a 48 year old man I've seen many friends (both genders) date much younger people, with similar end results. In most of the cases there was infidelity with someone who was closer in age... ironic, isn't it?


if your both happy then whats the problem?


The problem? There isn't much of a problem until they start threads like this and people are supposed to feel as if it was an unexpected ending. Relationships are difficult enough. To bury your head in the sand and honestly believe a 30 year age gap isn't a factor is rather foolish.

I disagree that common sense and good use of rationale should be ignored just because you have "chemistry". Life isn't that simple.
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 54
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:44:20 AM
Look at it this way.......

You've managed to avoid a future conversation that will go something like this.....

her: Honey, where do you want to go to dinner tonite??

him: Depends....

her: Depends on what??

him: no...HAND me one!!!!

I'm just sayin'...............
 Funtalkonly
Joined: 3/17/2010
Msg: 55
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/22/2010 10:19:06 AM
My I - I could not agree more. And yes she is not 19 years old...UK don't fib.

Most things happen for a reason. Lets simplify.

And the reason (then) and now was mutual - I would expect.

Then something changed 4 years in....

Usually its a final milestone for commitment. (i.e. babies for the younger member?)

And guess what they look at were they (one) is and see's that a decision must be made.

And its usually the woman that make s the decision. She dumps him for another (life)

I doubt he has a chance for reuniting.

I think they are currently "friends", but little else now, she is moving towards natural outcomes. Let her go.

I have experience with "almost" falling for a younger woman, but realized before we even got dating, the phone # went into the garbage can. It hurt. But I knew it would hurt a lot more later.

And I suppose this fellow could be living proof.

 ra718
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 56
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:08:26 PM
I agree with the posters who say you have to move on the more you think about it the worse it will be. As long as you have got everything off your chest about the situation, you should good with moving on. However, on a personal note. I have dated older women alot in my lifetime and to be completly honest all it was, was a young man trying to get an older chick under his belt - and alot of times for the most part it was the same understanding for them. That being said most relationships like that are about sex in my opinion.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 57
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:49:44 PM
Shouldn't this be in the "Broken Hearts" forum?
Anyway, I don't care about the age difference. I don't know why you mention it as though it should make any difference to advice. Heartbreak is heartbreak, over is over, and moving on is moving on. How young she was is meaningless.
Do a thread search in the Broken Hearts section for the MASSES of hints and tips on recovery.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 58
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/22/2010 3:35:11 PM
No, it should be in the "welcome to last year" forum!
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