| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:58:40 PM | | I'm a comedian where in that line of work, rejection is the only constant. I've dealt with it in girls when I was in elementary school and high school and learned the following simple rule.... THERE'S GOING TO BE SOMEONE THAT LIKES YOU EVENTUALLY. Best thing is to play it cool and just know that someone might like you. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 4/21/2009 6:52:25 AM | I been Rejected by a man as soon itold him I fall in love they back up getting cold feeds. I don't exept much from online dating but maybe I find the one
The last on eI love and still do I feel Rejected me becasue I got crazy on him, never went to his home or work to harass him just want it to make a point on the cell in texting, rejection one raerly got an real answer he is a Coward
Cowardice is the primacy of self. When you put your own well being ahead of anything or anyone else, regardless of your commitments or responsibilities to them, that is cowardice. It differs from outright selfishness, although that is a part of it, in that it is driven by fear, not greed.
It is personal weakness rationalized as intellect. That is why people who act cowardly will never admit it.
Is the man you love "unavailable"
for anything lasting or committed with you?
Are you tired of all the guessing and
UNCERTAINTY that comes along with not knowing
how your man feels, and what he'll want or not
want next?
Is it making you frustrated wondering if you'll
EVER find and enjoy the kind of love and
relationship that's truly lasting and secure?
If so, there are some important things you
should know about a man's "commitment tempo"
and the REAL reasons he will decide-for himself-
that he wants "forever" with you. Read about
this right here:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/FCTC
Dear Romy,
ChristianCarter@catchhimandkeephim.rsys1.com | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/12/2009 10:08:17 PM | Am I the only one who has no idea what the point of Irisbeaver's post is? Is it a commercial?
My point of this post is to applaud and commisserate with people who take a step out and experience rejection, especially in the dating scene. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:21:59 AM |
specially on dating sites. I personally hate asking guys to dance, no just kills me. How have you guys dealt with all the rejection?
I have a realistic idea of what I am and am not and I'm content to be those things. If a woman wants something I am not (like Brad Pitt), then that's her prerogative and it doesn't bother me. All I need is one person with whom there is a mutual attraction and I'm not going to run out of women online to choose from. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:57:46 AM | Rejection from a dating site
I have had plenty of knockbacks because I am an incurable romantic
when I fall for a woman I fall hard.
As I have got older I know that what we do is that quite often we reject something for another thing that may be unobtainable..........
If I have taken the trouble to contact a lady I am interested, if she is interested in me well thats another thing 
Sometimes our profiles are used to reject us insted of asking "Hey why do you have so and so on your profile?" and using it as a topic of conversation, the profile is treated as an absolute instead of a set of groundrules /guidelines.
"It costs nothing to be polite" | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:06:13 AM | | Okay woman are going to hate what I am about to say, but this has happened a lot. Many women, particularly the very attractive ones, can't handle rejection, it freaks them out because they are so used to get exactly what they want. What that does, is that a man can actually attract HER by rejecting her. Yes, rejecting her. This works and works very well. While all the other guys are saying how beautiful she is, you are kind of ignoring her and making some odd comment about her appearance. While all the guys ask her to dance. You ask the girl next to her. What happens is that she will say "what's wrong with me." And then begin pestering you to find out what do you have against her. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:11:59 AM | LOL we all get rejected sooner or later in life. Just keep plugging. What else can you do? I have absolutley no idea what women want anymore, what they are looking for, etc. So I just hang in there figuring eventually I will find the right women somewhere. On here, out in the real world, etc.
In the mean time I just try to make myself the best person I can be for myself. Physically, mentally, spiritually. | |
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alv2.0
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Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 59 | |
| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 1:20:06 PM | I have never understood why some people take rejection so badly.
PEOPLE! In this big wide world, there are going to be people who are attracted to you, and there are going to be people who are not attracted to you. Just like you are attracted to some and not others. There's nothing wrong with this!
There is at least one person (more, in my opinion, but I won't get into the topic of "soul mates") out there for everybody. Be confident in who you are, enjoy life with the people you have, and somebody will come find you.
(Oh, and all of this "should the man approach the woman, or should it be the other way around?" "Is it too early to call?" "What will he think if I ask him out?" "Does she like me when she says this?" crap is such bullshit to me. Say what you mean, and do what you want. If you've been eyeing some guy and waiting for him to approach you, well then why don't you approach him? Don't miss out on good opportunities!) | |
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alv2.0
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Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 61 | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 4:00:09 PM | Is it the rejection or just the fear of rejection that we all hate? Personally when I e-mail a woman on this site and I do not get a reply I consider myself lucky. My attitude is that this is definitely not the type of person I would want to develop a serious relationship with. Too shallow for me. I personally respond to anyone who contacts me. What is the harm? It's not like I am making a lifelong commitment simply because they have contacted me. The whole idea of dating is to get to know that person and see if chemistry and personalities warrant developing a relationship.
I guess I have changed or perhaps matured after a very long term marriage which I did not want to end. Years ago any rejection would have hurt me and acted like a snowball freezing me from further attempts at asking someone out on a date. I believe that there has to be some woman who is willing to get to know me and not make a decision about me solely based on a small picture and a few lines of information. My challenge right now is finding that special person and if I make no attempt it will not happen.
Jeff | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/13/2009 4:32:25 PM | Okay woman are going to hate what I am about to say, but this has happened a lot. Many women, particularly the very attractive ones, can't handle rejection, it freaks them out because they are so used to get exactly what they want. What that does, is that a man can actually attract HER by rejecting her. Yes, rejecting her.
Yes, I agree with that... I had a girl actually come back to the bar a week after I told her I wasn't interested in her... she walked in literally grabbed me and more or less dragged me out...
She told me later she was stunned I wasn't that interested in her... It didn't work out though...
I was willing to fcuk her but not long term... A year later she proposed to me... in front of the whole bar.... A week after that I broke up with her... she was too easy....no challenge...and prior to meeting me she slept with my cousin.... so that was NEVER gonna work out...
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:05:00 AM | [Landra, you are so hot, you've probably never been rejected.
Aww- that's sweet .. thank you. But wrong. I've not only been rejected, I'm usually the one most guys don't approach- ever. I'd never turn a guy down for a dance (and I'm a ballroom dancer)-- but let me tell you, usually I'm generally not asked to dance as often as I see other women getting asked. It goes both ways. ]
Landra,
You've asked guys out or to dance and they have rejected you? | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/14/2009 8:41:18 AM | I completely respect anyone's rejection of me. It is a sign of their freedom of choice and I embrace and appreciate that.
I can't say that I've experienced rejection much as grown woman but as a child I had my fair share of it.
I eventually realized that to truly love myself , I have to stop worrying over another's estimation of me.
So I've elected to be free of the good or bad judgment of others.
I define myself. But then I've never been very needy so it stands to reason that I'm not in the front lines of such an experience.
Actually, it's sort of too easy for me to deal with it. I see it as nothingness.
Hmmm..I wonder if that's healthy LOL! Bah...it feels right for me. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 5/14/2009 8:57:15 AM | There are different types of rejection, right?
--if I make advances to a strange man in a bar [because I am attracted to strange men, ha], and he rejects my offer of a drink, I actually think it's no big deal. I feel a little silly, is all. "Oh, ok, well, I tried." [ok, I made this scenario up. I am more likely to email a guy and ask him out.]
--if, within a new relationship, I make sexual advances on my guy and he rejects me, I think this hurts the most. Because it's a new relationship, and I'm insecure about it, and start to wonder if "he's just not that into me".
--in a long-term relationship in which I am secure, if my man rejects me, it's no big deal, I know he'll be around later, just wasn't in the mood or whatever. If he does it ALL the time, though, again, I get insecure, and THEN the rejection is hurtful because I start to wonder why he no longer wants to be with me. "Is he breaking up with me?" | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/14/2009 4:03:22 AM | No one likes rejection. I had been a member on another dating site for awhile last year and noticed a trend that was based on the area in which the woman was living in. It appeared that her fear of family and public rejection outweighed the benefits of meeting someone nice and sincere. Interracial relationships aren't for the weak or for those who are always seeking public approval. I could careless about what other people think. As a result, I've been able to focus on what I like and the intense attraction that can exist between two people that are really attracted to each other.
I would have to agree with your assessment about being "attracted to contrast" and the area in which we live in. However, don't let the "conservative" attitudes around here be mistaken for the predjudice that strongly exists in the south suburbs. I deliberately avoid spending much time or money there because of their arrogance and ignorance that is largely engrained in those residents (mostly white trash) since childhood. I've lived in this area since the early 80's and can say that the majority of people here keep to themselves and avoid the ignorant and immature stares. Our children have the best of friends. Those who are challenged with having friendships with people from other races are ignored by us. Kicked to the curb without hesitation.
As far as meeting men in our area, the basic taboos do carry over in a quiet manner. For you, that can pose a problem (I think that'll be rectified shortly though...Lol) in that it may be more of a challenge to find that man you desire. However, for me, I love it. The fewer white guys that truly desire an interacial relationship the better. It just means that there's more opportunities to meet someone I'll like (I found you...right?).
I have yet to really encounter any jerks here. I live in a racially diverse neighborhood and have great friends and neighbors that either support my way of life or keep their own issues with it to themselves.
Live and let live as we are of one race...the human race. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:26:50 AM | My rejection coping mechanism is to assume, I think correctly, that all of our lives are terribly complex, conflicted and loaded up with ambivalence. Most people have a lot of internal self-talk that if they said the things they think out loud the people with the nets would be after them. He/she looks like my ex, or not. My sister in law would laugh at me if I went to see the kids at the school play with a man shorter than her brother, my ex. This woman has cats, I'm not sitting in a house with cats creeping around, etc. , etc.
The point? There are a million reasons to not engage with another and I assume if a woman rejects me, she's done my some kind of favor which I'll never know the reason. When we were 25 hormones blinded us to seeing the reasons the people we wanted would grow up to become less attractive but still dreadful people. They can't hide behind beauty anymore lol.
It's an exercise in being a blind blue jay searching for an acorn. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:19:01 PM | Bless you for being sympathetic. I won't speak for other men and it's not something
that most men discuss with each other. When I was younger, I wasn't really confident and the rejection just made me reluctant to approach women (girls). Now that I've
attained self-confidence, I can approach almost any woman, any place without fear.
But this online stuff completely baffles me. I've e-mailed countless females and the replies are practically non-existent. I've spent many hours over the years carefully
composing e-mail's that were never answered. If those unanswered were rejections, I could have welcomed them because at least I'd know my message was seriously regarded. Let's just say ignorance is not bliss -- it's frustration. Worse are the few
instances where, after a number of correspondences with someone and some mutual interest is established, the e-mails abruptly stopped. Further information was not provided. In one case e-mail's were exchanged for 11 continuous weeks. In another
instance I searched newspapers trying to discover an accident or death.
It casts a slight pall on your gender. Yet I still view each situation optimistically with 'disinterest' (look up definition), which I'd advise you and everyone else to do.
If you like the person you are and comfortable with yourself, rejection should not significantly affect you adversely. (But my frustration mounts incessantly.) | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:43:48 PM | I have asked men out many times, sometimes successful and sometimes not. I don't take it personally anymore, I use to. I have learned not to get my hopes up with dating just take one day at a time. I have noticed it has it ups and downs sometimes no responses then all of the sudden a lot of responses.
When at a dance I am not afraid to go ask a man to dance, sometimes I get rejected, then I go and ask another.
Last year I went out on a date with this man that looks like a biker type, totally different than what I am use to and almost didn't see him again. It is a good thing I didn't dump him, he is a great friend.
Another from a man that lives in another state. I came close to not answering him but as we kept writing back and forth we have a lot in common. So far, we are still at the friend stage and talk daily on the phone for the past four months. He drove down to see me a couple of months ago, I still haven't seen where he is from but will eventually. If someone from out of state responds I continue to talk to them. You never know, he might be the one? If it is meant to be, it is meant to be.   | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:51:00 PM |
have a new respect for the male species. In the world, as I knew it, men have been expected to make the first move. He would have to gather the courage and go ask her to dance. Will she say yes? Nudges friend, "you ask her." He would walk across the room, the other blokes are watching and ask her. She says no, now he has to walk, all the way back. In the world of today, we women, who wanted equal rights, are now expected to make the first move. Especially on dating sites. I personally hate asking guys to dance, no just kills me. How have you guys dealt with all the rejection? I find a profile, that after reading, I think, wow. I send a note and ...nothing, or read deleted, or you just aren't what I am looking for. That is cool, but sometimes it is difficult to not feel a little stung, or think, "How do you know, you didn't even give me a chance?!" Mind you, I have now learned to not take it personally. I now have compassion for you guys who get up the courage to approach us ladies (and I have known some rude woman who make a guy feel like and insect.) I applaud you for keeping on keeping on! You guys have been doing this for many years and most of us girls are just now getting a taste of the rejection pill. Maybe one day we will all land the great catch.
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. | |
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| Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:00:24 AM | | The thing that I have always felt, is often men don`t understand why there is a rejection. In my case, it is 99% fear, usually of what his motives are. What does he want? If I accept spending time from him or go on a date, what will be the repercussions? Is he safe, what does he want to do to me ( that is hurtful), is he trying to get something from me? ( sex, money, take advantage). Is he going to open up a big can of worms, drama, whatever , if I get to know him. Basically, can this human being hurt me, and is this their motive as to why they want to know me? So for me, it has nothing to do with looks, if a man is good enough, etc. I need to feel safe, and secure that whoever is approaching me is not going to rip up my life or endanger me. That takes time to develop that trust, and most men aren`t willing to take that time. | |
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