| Profile Preference ....
Posted: 5/17/2009 8:39:00 AM | Ok there is a difference between someone not being interested in dating a person because they are simply not attracted... and someone who refuses based on boneheaded racist ideology...
Lets be real here, there are people who are just not attracted to people with pale pastey skin..does not make em racist - just means they are not attracted.. same if someone is not into darker shades - just personal preference just like people who are not attracted to:
- fat people
- short men
- short fat men..lol
It runs the gamut.. no this is NOT shallow.. shallow is a label that people slap on others in an attempt to make one feel guilty about core attraction.. *pfft*
Now if some dork is slathering on how he doesn't date outside his race because he simply "doesnt believe in it".... he is a lil racist dullard , yeah he has the right to be an lil racist ahole but he needs to keep it real and own it ....
Big ups to the good peeps in the UK  | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 5/17/2009 1:30:29 PM |
I am a black female and I prefer to date white guys - my ex husband is white! Its just a personal preference thing, however if I met a black guy who hit all the right buttons as it were, I certainly wouldnt write him purely because of the colour of his skin.
However the issue I do have is, I as a black female (and I would love to hear from other black females) is that I seem to attract a large number of black guys. Nothing wrong with that you may say, but there seems to be (in my personal opinion) a certain arrogance amongst the ones that I have come across.
They cannot seem to comprehend that I am not desperately lonely, my life will be fine without them in it and I do not need to be their princess etc etc
I agree with this. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:23:43 AM | I am a white female and have clearly stated i am only interested in black men, i suppose an intelligent psychologist could have a dig around and find the reason for it, but, i really don't know why, maybe it is the same as only dating thin or blondes or short etc.
Anyway, i really don't care, its what i want and me that has to date them  | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 7/25/2009 2:40:32 PM | I tried interracial dating a few times, it didn't work out for me, too many cultural differences.
If I was to have children in the future, I'd want them all to be white rather than have to face racism because of multiculturalism / being of mixed parents. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:05:56 AM | | Since I avoided posting on this one as I was undecided, I thought I'd resurrect it now that I am much clearer about my thoughts on the subject. I have found that I am not attracted to black men and would prefer not to date them. As I seem to attract a lot of interest from them I have put a note on my profile to reflect that. I do not intend to explain my preferences so please spare yourself the trouble of asking. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:09:41 AM | | Who doesn't have preferences? I think most of us are here because we didn't just grab the first person that came along. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:15:48 AM | Since I avoided posting on this one as I was undecided, I thought I'd resurrect it now that I am much clearer about my thoughts on the subject. I have found that I am not attracted to black men and would prefer not to date them. As I seem to attract a lot of interest from them I have put a note on my profile to reflect that. I do not intend to explain my preferences so please spare yourself the trouble of asking.
I find the attitudes on this thread quite fascinating...
I think everyone has their preferences and that might include race - but what I cannot understand is why people are so definate about it! Unless you have a serious issue regarding race, I cannot comprehend how anyone could CATEGORICALLY say they could NEVER fancy someone of a certain race, especially when that race/culture covers such a wide range of people from a huge variety of cultures across the world including people who are born and bred British! not to mention a hige variety of appearances with the only common feature being dark skin - and even that in various shades!
so firstly, I'd be interested to know where do you draw the line in terms of mixed race people?
and secondly have you considered the fact that many white people would be put off you in a big way due to your preference? Personally I wouldn't consider contacting someone who put on their profile that they "didn't find black men attractive" and I'm sure for a lot of people it would set alarm bells ringing.
Hope you don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean to criticise (and my questions are directed at anyone, I just quoted you because yours was the most recent), I'm just interested! | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:29:13 AM | Amirillo07...
and secondly have you considered the fact that many white people would be put off you in a big way due to your preference?
How you have reached that is beyond me 
The fact that someone knows their preferences is a positive attribute in my opinion, as it shows the person knows themselves, their limits, what they want, etc
Personally I wouldn't consider contacting someone who put on their profile that they "didn't find black men attractive"
That's your call and your entitled to it, would you do the same if a black female had "Don't find black men attractive" on her profile?
and I'm sure for a lot of people it would set alarm bells ringing
Again, another generalisation/sweeping statement based on nothing. It might set alarm bells ringing for you and a minority of others, but to state "A lot" is considerably over-exaggerating... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:41:11 AM |
How you have reached that is beyond me
well the fact that this thread has clearly shocked a lot of people for a start. And the fact that people are generally disgusted by anything they perceive to be racist - or even possibly racist
The fact that someone knows their preferences is a positive attribute in my opinion, as it shows the person knows themselves, their limits, what they want, etc
Theres a big difference between preferences and ruling people out because of their race.
That's your call and your entitled to it, would you do the same if a black female had "Don't find black men attractive" on her profile?
Of course. Isn't that the same thing? I'd also be put off by someone who put that they are not attracted to people with blonde hair. To me it says they are shallow.
Again, another generalisation/sweeping statement based on nothing. It might set alarm bells ringing for you and a minority of others, but to state "A lot" is considerably over-exaggerating...
Its my assumption thats all. I cannot imagine that only a minority of people would be put off by that. You're generalising in the exact same way by saying that people wouldn't be put off. Maybe we'll find out now whether either of us are right... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:41:56 AM | I am a Black female (tis true!! lol) and i am going to be very honest and confess that i havent dated a Black guy since i was 16.....It isnt because i dont find Black men or other races attractive, its just that the clubs i was going to & the social networking circles i moved arround in you didnt find many Black men....
I am not in the least bit offended and nor do i think its being racist if a person wants to state on their profile that they dont date a certain race/date out of their own race - as long as its done with tact and not put in such away that it could offend; as many have said its simply personal preference.
<div class="quote">I don't like black people, not because of the skin colour, but because of this gangster culture they seem to want to be associated with. This is going off personal experience too.
 They say ignorance is bliss....and you Sir are ignorant!! you have had a few negative experiences and so you're going to tar every black individual with the same brush???? I have never, nor do i wish to be associated with a gangster culture, and nor has anyone i associate with. There is always one bad apple in the bunch - however that can be said for EVERY culture, every religion, every ethnicity - The ratio for the good far outweigh the ugly....
<div class="quote"> I think other races can have a chip on their shoulder
I think its quite obvious who has the chip on their shoulder.... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:43:07 AM | so firstly, I'd be interested to know where do you draw the line in terms of mixed race people?
and secondly have you considered the fact that many white people would be put off you in a big way due to your preference? Personally I wouldn't consider contacting someone who put on their profile that they "didn't find black men attractive" and I'm sure for a lot of people it would set alarm bells ringing.
Firstly, I don't really feel I need to explain my reasoning any more than I should ask you to explain why you need to ask. I daresay it will put a lot of white men off me but that's their choice. Some will already have been put off me by virtue of my own ethnicity. There are a lot of people who claim not to be racist and yet they are perfectly happy to be putting down different classes of people in one way or another, whether they realise it or not is another matter. How many times recently have I seen "chavs" being vilified? It's ok to state preferences for some things but not others. Why is that? Perhaps there is something about black men I perceive as threatening due to my experiencing with them, one which was very unpleasant. You could say I am tarnishing them all with the same brush and you would be right. I have a choice just like everyone else and at least I am being honest about that. The majority of black men that have made initial contact with me have been very sexually overt. That in itself is enough for me not to want to attract any more of that kind of attention. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:47:39 AM | Amarillo07
Mate you need to stop pulling out the race card and picking on women, you have absolutely no right to question peoples preferences, in short you're coming across as an insecure little boy with a grudge against white people. If you want to be respected on this site then try to respect other peoples choices in life.
And if a women puts white only on her profile how is that going to put off white people?????????, what in gods name have you been smoking? | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:53:26 AM | | Personally i don't like fat lasses but i don't feel the need to put it on my profile because i would hate to offend anyone...i would just ignore them. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:01:10 AM | Damn, I knew I was going to regret getting involved in this!! I should have known someone would get me completely wrong as What a knobhead has!
<div class='quote'> Firstly, I don't really feel I need to explain my reasoning any more than I should ask you to explain why you need to ask.
You don't need to, but thanks for doing so. As I said I didn't mean to criticise, my reason for asking was simply out of interest.
<div class='quote'>Mate you need to stop pulling out the race card and picking on women, you have absolutely no right to question peoples preferences, in short you're coming across as a insecure little boy with a grudge against white people. If you want to be respected on this site then try to respect other peoples choices in life.
Eh??!! I haven't pulled the race card, I specifically said I wasn't picking on this one person, my questions were directed at any person of any race or gender, who stated preferences of race! I don't care if I'm resepected on this site, I'm voicing my opinion - isn't that what a forum is for?
<div class='quote'>
And if a women puts white only on her profile how is that going to put off white people?????????, what in gods name have you been smoking?
I think you've been smoking something if you can't understand that!
<div class='quote'>
what in gods name have you been smoking?
Unfortunately nothing - I gave up a month ago!
in short you're coming across as an insecure little boy with a grudge against white people
and in short you're coming across as someone with a very apt username ;-)
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:04:23 AM |
well the fact that this thread has clearly shocked a lot of people for a start
Show me examples (plural being the key) where people have been "Shocked" that someone would put "They prefer white men" on their profile...
And the fact that people are generally disgusted by anything they perceive to be racist - or even possibly racist
Again, speak for yourself, those who are not PC do not disgust me, nor do those who have a physical preference
Theres a big difference between preferences and ruling people out because of their race
Care to elaborate...
Given your theory, it is ageism for a person who is in their 50s/60s not to want to date someone in their late teens/early 20s or vice-versa. Seriously, wake up and smell the coffee...
To me it says they are shallow
To me it says they have preferences, know what they want, have an insight into themselves, etc, shallowness does not come into the equation...
Are you an open-minded by any chance? If so, have you considered broadening its horizons and practising it in other areas?
Have you heard by the "Live and let live" philosophy? If so, do you believe in it, or are you more of a controlling individual?
You're generalising in the exact same way by saying that people wouldn't be put off
That is called playing devils advocate, you made the initial over-generalization, so until you/anyone can prove it to me from a reliable source, I will continue to believe on the contrary...
Maybe we'll find out now whether either of us are right
It is not about being right or wrong , but if the comments on this thread are anything to go by then I am right 
Note: This is your issue no one else’s... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:04:32 AM | I have no preference on skin colour - if I'm attracted to a person it's because of who they are, not what colour their skin happens to be (though I have to say I've never found myself attracted to anyone lime green).
I would be put off anyone who stated "no blacks" or "no whites" in their profile .... not because of their preference (or prejudice) but because of mine - I prefer open minded people. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 117 | |
| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:04:49 AM | I have never dated a black guy so far though I have exchanged a few messages with a guy on here who is mixed race and he is utterly butterly and I definitely would in his case. Its all about the individual and whether they do it for me. Hair, eye and skin colour, none of these things can tell you what someones character is going to be like. And come on, what woman would say no to Lenny Kravitz?  | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:13:14 AM | | A lot of people have already said in this thread about their preferences although perhaps not many have considered why they have them. I do get quite a few messages and I'd far rather filter a few of them out where possible as I feel that by just ignoring messages all the time really doesn't send out the right vibes either. I would have thought it was more polite to put something in your profile than to constantly write to say "thanks for your interest but I'm not" which can leave people wondering why, especially if they are getting their messages rejected on a regular basis. Anyway, I'm leaving it on for today as an experiment. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:14:05 AM | free-as-a-bird, do you know what open-minded means?! Yes I am and that is EXACTLY why I am put off by someone who categorically dismisses half the population of the world on the basis of their skin colour!
This has nothing to do with PC - I am not particualrly PC - if I was, I'd stay away from debate like this!
Glad someone has agreed with me, I'm sure there will be more - although I suspect the vast majority won't get involved in a debate like this (and given the abuse I've got already I suspect they are wise to stay away!) | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:16:37 AM | | I dated a couple of women in my early 20s who weren't WASP. In dating the law allows you to state your preferences and I think that's reasonable - if something doesn't flick your switch - it doesn't. I do feel sorry for the short, balding, ginger haired men who seem to get a hard time about something they have no say over, and can't understand why the fat birds rant abut men who say 'no fat birds' when portliness is mainly a matter of the portly person's own choice. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:16:48 AM |
I would be put off anyone who stated "no blacks" or "no whites" in their profile .... not because of their preference (or prejudice) but because of mine - I prefer open minded people
Can you see the irony in the above?
You prefer open-minded people, but yet you you're being closed-minded
Or, is it ok for you to be closed-minded, but the other person needs to be open-minded in every single area? There is no one who is open-minded in all areas of life...
Either way, it is your preference and is no different to someone having a race preference | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:20:46 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I don't see any irony in that at all - it's the same as someone who is liberal (with a small 'l') not wanting to date anyone who states their BNP politics. Whilst skin colour or race may be something some people express as a preference because it turns them on/off, for many people racial preference may be a politicised thing. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:30:19 AM | free-as-a-bird, do you know what open-minded means?!
I see, you do the politician ploy of attempting to answer a question with a question
Anyway, to answer your question "Yes I do"
Yes I am and that is EXACTLY why I am put off by someone who categorically dismisses half the population of the world on the basis of their skin colour!
No, you are not open-minded, as you will not open your mind to their ideas. It comes across as if it’s your way of thinking or no way, which equates more to closed-mindedness, hence my earlier PC remark
I like the way you avoided the other points I raised in my previous post, but do not fret, as I will copy and paste them, which will provide you with another opportunity to respond:
1) Show me examples (plural being the key) where people have been "Shocked" that someone would put "They prefer white men" on their profile...
2)
Theres a big difference between preferences and ruling people out because of their race.
Care to elaborate...
Given your theory, it is ageism for a person who is in their 50s/60s not to want to date someone in their late teens/early 20s or vice-versa. Seriously, wake up and smell the coffee...
3) Have you heard by the "Live and let live" philosophy? If so, do you believe in it, or are you more of a controlling individual?
I will not hold my breath for a response to the above... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:31:54 AM |
I would be put off anyone who stated "no blacks" or "no whites" in their profile .... not because of their preference (or prejudice) but because of mine - I prefer open minded people.
Same here. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:36:22 AM | Msg: 121.
I'm not going to get into any kind of debate with you - as I have stated, I have preferences, as do others.
I'll just quote you a bit of my own profile.....
I have a very open mind (so much so, in fact, that sometimes things fall out) about everything except narrow-mindedness.
On Topic: Some people have preferences, some are just picky, some have rigid criteria about who they would/wouldn't 'date', and some are racist. | |
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