| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:37:49 AM | Colour is a funny old thing.
Not wanting to date a specific colour is a little shallow.
I happen to have preferences..........
Likes:
Pale white skin.
Tanned.
Chocolate brown.
Dislikes:
Olive skin.
dark dark brown skin.
That said, that is just 'initial attraction' stuff.
I'd not discount anyone on the basis of a fairly meaningless prefference. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:38:48 AM |
Can you see the irony in the above?
I think you're struggling to see the irony!
Saying you would only date particular races is extremely closed minded. I have preferences when it comes to women, but I judge them as individuals. I can't think of any group of people I could categorically rule out the possiblity of being attracted to, let alone one that includes probably half the worlds population (feel free to correct me on the exact proportion)
Theres nothing ironic about an open-minded person being put off by someone expressing a closed-minded view. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:47:14 AM | I would have thought it was more polite to put something in your profile than to constantly write to say "thanks for your interest but I'm not"
So i take it you've never responded truthfully and said sorry but you're black and i don't date black men? you've just said you're not interested? so why now the need to be quite so explicit with your personal preferences of colour on your profile? sifting the wheat from the chaff is all part of internet dating whether you respond with a no thanks or just read/delete surely the message is still the same? a black guy may assume it's because of his colour the same as a fat guy may assume it's because of his weight but it's a lot easier to take than seeing it in black and white on someone's profile surely? i would have thought that was far more "polite". | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:48:50 AM |
No, you are not open-minded, as you will not open your mind to their ideas.
read my original post again. Opening my mind to their ideas was EXACTLY why I asked, very politely and specifically stated that I was not criticising!
Show me examples (plural being the key) where people have been "Shocked" that someone would put "They prefer white men" on their profile...
I'm not going through the whole thread, but there have been at least 2 so far since my original post who have agreed they would be put off.
Care to elaborate...
The difference is you can have preferences but then be attracted to someone who might not fit those usual preferences.
I am not going to spend all day answering the more irrelevant questions, sorry | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:52:36 AM | Eh??!! I haven't pulled the race card, I specifically said I wasn't picking on this one person, my questions were directed at any person of any race or gender, who stated preferences of race! I don't care if I'm resepected on this site, I'm voicing my opinion - isn't that what a forum is for?
You're free to voice your opinion but you are not free to impose your views on others and then ridicule them because they don't agree with you. Please google the term race card, it's exactly what you have done. Unfortunately for you when it comes to dating people will date who they like, your race card will never have control over peoples thoughts, at best you may make a few people feel guilty for excluding races but their attractions will still be the same.
The only way you will make all women date all races is by physically forcing them, and you're not going to do that, are you.
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:55:27 AM | I only date people whose skin has a blue tinge, living in Scotland that's fairly easy
Surely people can date who they like or put anything on their profile that they want.
If someone doesn't like black/white/Asian men or women why not say it?
Some people like blondes, some people like brunettes, some people on their profiles have won't date anyone over a size 12. There are folk out there who are very very specific and people not so.
If someone really doesn't want to date someone of a certain colour or hair colour or dress size then why bother not saying so and then having to tell everyone who contacts them sorry you don't fit my preference.
Because unless someone is open to persuasion surely the chances of them changing their mind is remote anyway. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:58:57 AM |
Please google the term race card, it's exactly what you have done
I am very aware of the term, because I absolutely hate it when people do that!
(hence why I am so annoyed at being accused of it!)
Actually you're playing the race card-card! | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:59:40 AM | I don't see a preference for a type of skin colour as discrimination. I'm asian and i've never fancied an asian guy simply because their not my type, just like a guy with ginger hair is not my type. Surely a preference of colour is the same as saying you like dark hair or brown eyes?
For the record i like white men with dark hair, big muscles and blue eyes....ha. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:07:19 AM | I don't see a preference for a type of skin colour as discrimination. I'm asian and i've never fancied an asian guy simply because their not my type, just like a guy with ginger hair is not my type. Surely a preference of colour is the same as saying you like dark hair or brown eyes?
Having the preference is exactly the same - my point is that surely there is a chance that you MIGHT meet an Asian guy (with white skin, dark hair, big muscles ok maybe the blue eyes is unlikely!) who absolutely blows you away with his personality. Is that not a slight possibility?!
Thats my argument - certain people have read WAY to much into it. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:11:07 AM | | Yeah i guess that's fair enough... i guess personality is alot of what makes some-one attractive anyway! | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:11:11 AM | Having the preference is exactly the same - my point is that surely there is a chance that you MIGHT meet an Asian guy (with white skin, big muscles ok maybe the blue eyes is unlikely!) who absolutely blows you away with his personality. Is that not a slight possibility?!
Thats my argument - certain people have read WAY to much into it.
She's stated her personal preference and you have questioned it, like you have with every other poster. Maybe it's a generational gap but all my peers are happy to state what they prefer without being considered racist. With todays young people differences are celebrated and preferences are respected. I'm afraid your PC views are a little old fashioned.
If you really want to fight racism then stop talking about it, and bringing it up all the time and just let people date who they like. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:18:45 AM |
Given your theory, it is ageism for a person who is in their 50s/60s not to want to date someone in their late teens/early 20s or vice-versa. Seriously, wake up and smell the coffee...
I am in my 50s and the coffee is on. Someone in their 20s is likely to want kids. I am 53 - in 12 years time I reach retirement and it's a stronger possibility I will pop my clogs than someone who is in their 20's or 30's. I am hardly good breeding material on that basis am I? I'd also feel uncomfortable with someone who was young enough to be my kid, but that's a personal thing. However a witty, good natured, intelligent, slim, black, asian chinese etc woman with a high sex drive who's late 30s to 50s - oh yummy yes please -just as I'd say yummy yes please to a white woman with the same characteristics.
As far as dating is concerned - people want / need differing things at different times in their lives - the comparison between age preferences and racial ones isn't a realistic one. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:19:43 AM | She's stated her personal preference and you have questioned it, like you have with every other poster.
and she wasn't offended, in fact she's half agreed with me now! nor was the first lady offended (I hope) because I asked in a polite way not in a critical one as seems to be your style.
I started this purely in order to understand out of interest why someone would specify race - YOU and the other poster jumped to conclusions and turned it into some big, heated race debate, NOT me and things have only become heated between you two and myself, NOT between me and the ones I originally questioned. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:24:52 AM | This feels a bit like political correctness gone crazy.
It is fine to say i prefer black men to white men or vice versa because when your talking about dating. Physical attraction plays a major part.
It is not fine to say i prefer black workers to white workers because physical appearance doesn't effect a persons ability to do a job.
Also we are talking about what people PREFER not that doesn't suggest that the person who says they prefer white girls would never consider an asian girl if he really like her personality etc. I would not be offended if a guy said to me he preferred white girls.
Ok i'm done now....
i think...
x | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:32:18 AM | | I have met black men away from the dating scene who have wonderful personalities and are very kind and generous to a fault. I just haven't found myself attracted to them in a physical sense. I have tried to explore the reasons why as truthfully as I can. I'm not sure you can honestly have a preference for any colour without questioning your reasons behind it. I'm not saying it means I will never a date a black man, but if there isn't that initial attraction, it's doubtful. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:36:19 AM | If they weren't just 'preferences' they wouldn't be listed as a search on here or many of the other dating sites would they?
You don't ask for something you don't want or are not looking for surely?
I don't find aboriginal peoples or eskimo's attractive purely because of their features (my preference they simply don't do it for me ) however you may ........it doesn't make me a racist or you not a racist else if that were the case the same could be said of you for having a preference for non caucasians !!
I accept I'm not everyone's cup of tea (hard to believe I know) and women may prefer someone of a different colour/race/height/weight etc etc over my own and that is purely their choice/preference, nothing more and nothing less. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:36:55 AM | I think you're struggling to see the irony!
How did you work that out? Is that another one of your flawed conclusions?
I do not think I am struggling to see the irony, as the individuals who have stated their preferences have not claimed to be open-minded, whereas the comment I responded to stated "I would be put off anyone who stated "no blacks" or "no whites" in their profile .... not because of their preference (or prejudice) but because of mine - I prefer open minded people"
Saying you would only date particular races is extremely closed minded
As is saying you would not date someone who stated such a thing, and your point being?
but I judge them as individuals
Good for you!
Are you saying those who have preferences do not judge a person as an individual? Have you considered that most people prefer an initial physical type/attraction, they see a person who is not their type/attraction and they dismiss them, it's quite simple... You can go on all you want about personality, etc, but unless the initial physical attraction is there, the rest doesn't count for a great deal
As far as I am aware a group is made up of individuals, so to say others do not judge others as individuals is a little bizarre...
Theres nothing ironic about an open-minded person being put off by someone expressing a closed-minded view
Where did I say there was?
However, there is something very ironic about someone who claims to prefer open-mindedness, who in the same sentence demonstrates close-mindedness to a greater/lesser extent
The difference is you can have preferences but then be attracted to someone who might not fit those usual preferences
For some people yes, but not for others, it is quite simple if you ask me, why over-complicate it?
This brings me back the “Live and let live” philosophy, or you being controlling
I am not going to spend all day answering the more irrelevant questions
That only left one question, which I could probably answer for myself... | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:51:48 AM | There is a difference between not dating someone of ethnic origin, or more bluntly black, because you don't find black people attractive, and not dating them because they are black. I have in the past dated a couple of black ladies, but generally I don't find them attractive, whereas I find Indian ladies extremely attractive (obviously not all of them). I am not particularly attracted to Chinese women, or blonde blue eyed Arian types, or someone who looks like they could be a member of a girl group auditioning for X-Factor.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't date a Chinese or a black lady, just that I am not generally attracted to them.
Just like the 5ft 1" lady, who is rather overweight and mentions on her profile that she doesn't want shallow men, but won't accept messages from anyone under 6ft 2", it is a preference. Sadly having a preference for white or black men or ladies (or both) will always attract accusations of racism or racial supremacism. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:52:40 AM |
I accept I'm not everyone's cup of tea (hard to believe I know)
I am flabbergasted that any female could even contemplate that.
It is fine to say i prefer black men to white men or vice versa because when your talking about dating. Physical attraction plays a major part.
It is not fine to say i prefer black workers to white workers because physical appearance doesn't effect a persons ability to do a job.
Eloquently put; I have male friends I wouldn't want to date or sh@g any of them. It doesn't make me anti-male or anti-gay. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:22:20 AM |
This brings me back the “Live and let live” philosophy, or you being controlling
maybe you should read through the thread again... I asked questions to those who expressed an opinion, I asked them politely, explained that I wasn't meaning to be critical, they weren't offended and they replied. All very civilised. Live and let live.
Compare that to your aggressive attacks on my views and you might see who has the "live and let live" attitude and who doesn't!
Thats the irony....
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 7:45:19 AM | Compare that to your aggressive attacks on my views
Nowhere have I 'aggressively attacked' your views, I have merely questioned, asked for examples, commented, and responded to them
and you might see who has the "live and let live" attitude and who doesn't!
Yep, and I concluded overwhelmingly that I have the "Live and let live" attitude and you don't on this issue, as I do not deem it to be wrong, racist, etc. My conclusion was/is based on some of your comments, for example:
1)
I don't see how you can 100% rule out certain races unless you have some kind of issue with it (even if its not full blown racism)
2)
Personally I would be instantly put off by anyone who stated they don't date outside their race - regardless of whether I matched their criteria
3)
Is that not racism?
4)
I'm not one of those PC people who is oversensitive about race issues and likes calling racism Really?
5)
Unless you have a serious issue regarding race It appears you're the one with the race issue, hence keep mentioning it...
6)
I cannot comprehend how anyone could CATEGORICALLY say they could NEVER fancy someone of a certain race
7)
And the fact that people are generally disgusted by anything they perceive to be racist - or even possibly racist
8)
To me it says they are shallow
9)
that is EXACTLY why I am put off by someone who categorically dismisses half the population of the world on the basis of their skin colour
A nice attempt to turn it around, but you failed miserably 
Thats the irony
Are you still convinced about that even when the evidence is staring you straight in the face? I would say it is sincerity | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:25:57 AM |
I find Indian ladies extremely attractive Yes, all men do. It's terribly hard work.
Oh! The hardship of it for you!
On which, do British Indians pay much or any attention to the caste system? Is it a non issue in the UK? I am not assuming that you are of any particular cultural or religious group, just making an effort to get back on thread after the flaming nonsense posted above. | |
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:46:24 AM |
A nice attempt to turn it around, but you failed miserably
failed at what?
No-one is going to declare a winner you know
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| Profile Preference Of Colour !
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:54:04 AM | No-one is going to declare a winner you know
so maybe you should stop?!
RE: british indians, i don't really know in general- but nope i don't at all... my parents are pretty modern so it's never been an issue for me really! | |
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