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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:24:43 PM |
Even straight men often get oral sex from other men Now I have nothing against gay or bisexual men, but I'm not sure where you get this from. There is no amount of alcohol or horniness that would have me accept oral from a guy. And my friends are the same. Maybe the younger 'hipper' crowd is different, I dunno. But if a man is getting/giving oral with other men, he can't be considered straight, IMO.
I fully admit there is a double standard about women though - I love the idea of 2 women. I did some swinging a while ago and obviously that crowd is very open sexually. In my experience, 90% of the women were bi or curious to fool around with a girl, and 95% of men were completely straight. We weren't phobic about being near other men, or accidental touching, but there was no want at all of sexual activity between the men. But I'm always OK with anything that goes on between consenting adults - to each his own... | |
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Elle72
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Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 27 | |
| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:29:03 PM | Reread the first lines you wrote (in a subtle way that's exactly what you wrote...if you find it sick you are homophobic) and then is up to you to judge if you have Alzheimer or not.
This is not a protest or the need to vent NiceGuy... | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:34:52 PM | I understand that but again, you are saying that as a man. Many women don't want to be with another woman but they like that it turns their man on and many people make "sacrifices" sexually for the other (even in bed between two people). So the question was would women find being with another woman for their man more acceptable than seeing their guy have a first encounter that involved a guy.
But I also have to admit, I have heard from even straight guys that "receiving oral isn't gay, as long as you don't give". Kind of like sticking your tool into a pleasure machine. And it is logical that those who own the same equipment know what feels good usually more than those who don't. Anything you haven't done can seem shocking, but shock value wears off easily.... as with the first time for anything. Fear subsides when you have done it, from skydiving to roller coasters or people on "Fear Factor" doing weird stuff, whatever it may be. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:38:38 PM | | Right Elle72, I did indeed say that MANY would find it "sick" (as I was proven right), ESPECIALLY those who are homophobic or insecure. What is your beef with that? Again, you could see how many found it sick and quickly professed their distaste at the mere thought. Or are you saying homophobic or insecure men don't exist? You can believe that if you want, it's a free world and something doesn't have to be true in order to believe it. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:42:56 PM | Nope....no desire to see my man with another man
and Sorry....but anybody that considers doing something sexual for their partner as a "sacrifice".....shouldn't be having sex to start with.
and in your original post.....u say a "mostly straight man" living out a fantasy.....
well....IMO......that man isn't mostly straight.......he's Bi. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:45:57 PM | All I did was say what I've heard and seen a lot of and ask what WOMEN felt that and what MEN would do it in exchange for their woman being with another woman. OP I think that you are in the entertainment industry and perhaps there is alcohol involved when people are talking. You are in a different setting. You also live in a city where there are more sexual preferences. Point is, you can't go by what you have heard as your survey would be flawed. Even the people on POF, only a certain number of people participate in the fora, only a certain number will read your question, only a certain number will respond, so you will get some points of view, but you certainly can't say that it would be a survey or study. I do think you are intelligent and doing this for fun and opinions from outside your area and perhaps normal circle. But I could be dead wrong, not the first time.
And again, if I'm not enough for the guy I go out with, I won't be seeing him any more. I just don't share. I am not into watching porno films either. I could handle the guy I am with watching that because I really wouldn't be sharing, but to have someone else touch him or me, nope. I like simple fantasies like hot tubs with bubbles and champagne. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:47:06 PM | Like many of my fantasies, it is one I have fantasized about, but don't actually want to see in real life.
I think two manly men together is hot to watch. I wouldn't want to see a guy I was dating with another guy because how the heck can I compete with a penis?!
That is my favorite porn to watch-rugged guy on guy action.
Plus you can get some good tips on how to give better head or ways to excite him.
Without having to have a penis. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 5:55:04 PM | I understand that completely monfil. You are correct. This is hardly scientific, but I was a little taken aback but the anger it promoted (well, maybe not). I didn't grow up in Hollywood (I live in Phoenix mostly now) and do some TV and film the months I am there. But it is definitely a different mentality (kind of like Red vs Blue states). Everyone knows Hollywood is generally more liberal, but then so is California in general. Arizona (the "Barry Goldwater" state) was mostly Republican for years, but Phoenix is now the fastest-growing area in the U.S. (tied with Vegas) and the fifth-largest metro area behind only L.A., N.Y.C., Chicago & Houston. We are beginning to be considered a swing state (and McCain didn't win AZ by a huge margin last year, despite our being usually Red and him being our senator).
Two things: I have gotten private messages since I started this thread from people saying they know what I mean but did not want to contribute to this thread and be attacked or judged (this isn't entirely anonymous). The other thing is I have experienced guys I thought were totally straight (married, kids, girlfriends, don't date guys at all) showing sexual interest after drinking on many occasions. Not saying my experiences speak for the world, but I can only go by what I have heard and experienced, same as all you. That's why this is a discussion and not a dissertation. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 6:15:58 PM |
The other thing is I have experienced guys I thought were totally straight (married, kids, girlfriends, don't date guys at all) showing sexual interest after drinking on many occasions.
um.. because they obviously are not "totally str8"... its no secret that many men are in denial about their sexuality obviously due to the stigma attached to being a gay/bi male in mainstream america...
There was in fact a gay male who wrote in a sex column that he was a**- slamming this "str8" frat boy , and before the gay dude could pull out, the frat boy was like "hey dude Im not queer or anything, just experimenting!!" um yeah ok!!!! I think when the d*ck hit his bunghole he gave up his str8 card!! lmfaoooo
Many married men too are on the down lo cruising for d*ck .. no secret there..
But I can assure you that a male/woman who is totally str8.. would never be in any way sexually attracted to the same sex weather they are drunk drugged etc.. the booze and drugs just lowers the inhibitions to express who you really are.. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 6:48:58 PM | I totally respect that. And for the record, despite what poster #20 said, never did I say that "anybody who can’t find this practice a turn on was “homophobic, insecure and repressed”. However, if I am suffering from Alzheimer's and did and just don't remember, anyone is free to copy and paste where I did.
You typed in your first post....
This may sound sick to many (especially homophobic on insecure men)
Which aside from a slight semantic difference amounts to the same thing....
For the record, I am not homophobic either... I'm reasonably sure I'm not insecure... and as for repressed hahahaha, that's not even worthy of consideration....
I do have a couple of acquaintances who are gay... however, to me gay sex male or female is not quite right either....
I did once however throw a gay guy off a second floor balcony because he was 'inappropriate' at a party.... but in defence, I was drunk... If I'd known it was only the second floor, I wouldn't have bothered.... | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:00:46 PM | Obviously you missed my post a bit earlier so I'll say it again: Right, I did indeed say that MANY would find it "sick" (as I was proven right), ESPECIALLY those who are homophobic or insecure. What is your beef with that? Again, you could see how many found it sick and quickly professed their distaste at the mere thought. Or are you saying homophobic or insecure men don't exist? You can believe that if you want, it's a free world and something doesn't have to be true in order to believe it.
As far as them really being gay or bi, that is often true. But there are all sorts of gray in between, it's not black and white. I know guys that do not date guys, who aren't physically attracted to a "hot" guy and who are even married, but just enjoy the different type of sex with a guy or a good BJ (and they aren't like denying it, they admit the sex part but there's just "nothing there" when it comes to attraction to men in general for them; I know that first hand). What are they really?
Saying that a drunk guy who gets a BJ is gay is like saying a gay man who gets drunk and goes down on a woman is straight. Not so. But everyone sees people as Category A or B, black or white. I guess you can't change that. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:37:19 PM | OP, NONE of the anger I see on here has to do with the topic; it has to do with your arrogant, condescending, judgmental, name calling; and your implied superiority of intelligence and experience; which I personally find offensive. You ask a question, (in baited, labeling, language) and get all pi$$y when people express views that are either opposite of yours, and/or given your sexual preference, find things you enjoy unappealing. I can understand that you may feel defensive when people say they find your personal preferences and actual physical practices, anywhere from revolting to sick to disgusting. However, you knew full well that the vast majority of people on this site, have sexual preferences different than yours; so to expect anything else is simply not realistic.
This may sound sick to many (especially homophobic on insecure men) Inflammatory, condescending, and judgmental, and you KNEW it when you wrote it; so don’t get pi$$y when you get the reaction you were expecting. Actually homophobes WILL find it sick; MANY to MOST insecure men will be threatened; and SOME straight guys will also be disgusted.
Well this must be a whole new breed of men and women, because I have heard it from people………I can only go by what I've heard and seen I guess, which probably carries a bit more weight (because you’re so superior) in the end…all the adamant protests seem a little extreme from real life situations… situations I experienced.….. Everyone on POF must be different from every other place I've talked about it.…. All I did was say what I've heard and seen ...
Wow, touched on a big nerve with lots of macho manly men-men. Gawd, the hostility is so telling. You imply that the posters are either lying, to you, or themselves, or must be completely detached from reality, or are just ignorant, and then have the balls to get upset when they in turn express negative feelings toward you? You also rant about ALL the encounters, experiences, and people you have had or known who feel different than the majority of the posters here. As though your experiences are valid, and their beliefs aren’t. Here’s a NEWS FLASH for you OP….YOU ARE GAY!!! The vast majority of the people you interact with on a personal level are ALL people who are either gay/bi or open, accepting, understand, or at the very least tolerant of you and alternative lifestyles in general. PLUS people/women who HAVE these fantasies/desires would GRAVITATE toward YOU! You have a VERY SKEWED reality in this regard. Get over it.
the margin of how dishonest many are and how far society has to go yet. again with the assuming, and name calling, and show of superiority.
I was a little taken aback but the anger it promoted (well, maybe not). LOL, No you weren’t; but nice try at innocence and superiority.
I did indeed say that MANY would find it "sick" (as I was proven right), ESPECIALLY those who are homophobic or insecure. No, you said many MAY find it sick; and how do you know ANY of the posters are homophobic or insecure? Some probably are; but you’re still calling names.
many people make "sacrifices" sexually for the other This is just wrong. NOBODY should be asked to do anything that is a “sacrifice” EVER! I’ll do things that don’t do anything for me because I know she really enjoys it; and have had lovers do the same; but NOTHING she or I really don’t like.
But I also have to admit, I have heard from even straight guys that "receiving oral isn't gay, as long as you don't give". I can testify to this. I personally don’t feel this way; but many do. I was the only straight guy in a gay household for a while, and most, if not all, of the gay guys had encountered this at some point. (NO I DIDN’T DO THIS, LOL, really)
I have gotten private messages since I started this thread from people saying they know what I mean but did not want to contribute to this thread and be attacked or judged (this isn't entirely anonymous). I’m curious, without giving any names, how many have you received?
The other thing is I have experienced guys I thought were totally straight (married, kids, girlfriends, don't date guys at all) showing sexual interest after drinking on many occasions. I’ll concur. Heck, most of the gay guys I knew had ex wives and children.
OP, if you wanted to know what percentage of people in a predominantly straight group might have homosexual fantasies, you got your answer. This population base is very different form the one your used to; more people here are not going to be as tolerant as what you’re used to. YOUR reality is skewed toward people accepting and supportive of non-straight people; THIS reality is skewed in exactly the opposite direction; because most gay people will be using different sites. BOTH are skewed away from the population in general. Accept it, and get over it; and take your superior condescending bull$hit somewhere else. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:57:11 PM | | Here we go again OP. Pretty much every response you put in this forum reaps of promoting your "open minded" lifestyle backing it up with things like most guys dont find it gay while slamming ANY guy who disagrees. You've done this to me twice now. I am not homophobic. I do find what gays do intimatly to be personally revolting and unhealthy but I don't do anything to protest it or condom errr condem. It's thier choice. It's my choice to take the stance whether it is fair or not many men and women have the similar view of me that female vs female > male vs male. Have a problem accepting that? What makes it seem to unjust to you? You, of all people are personal in the intimacies and(spposdely) the physcology of it. Act your intelligence man, stop slamming guys and girls who disagree. This still looks like a not-so-subtle attempt to promote an agenda. I vote to delete. Start a sincere topic next time. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 9:30:03 PM | Wow Windloverr, you sure like to "cherry-pick" quotes and then infer them how you wish, then hurl accusations at me and what you seem to assume about my intentions and motives. Again, it is very interesting that all the anger and outrage comes from (some of the) straight men: those that have no problem seeing two women together as not only acceptable but "hot", then assume it is for them to decide what a woman's fantasy should be and what is okay or acceptable. I feel sorry for women who settle for men like this. Maybe ironically I like or respect women more in this regard to have equal sexual freedoms and liberties in whatever they do or don't desire, and not have it be dictated to them by men. Maybe that is why so many women actually like hanging out with gay men: respect and understanding.
Even in the few hours since this post, many women have said they had that fantasy, both openly on here, and in three private messages asserting the same, to answer your previous question. And of course I never asked if men did (and no, even if any on here did, they of course they would not say so in a forum with names and profile pics, that much I knew and would never ask). I asked women if it was a turn-on for them, not men.... read the original post. Woman are the ones I heard it from (goose, meet gander). And the second question was only if men would do the same in exchange [u]if[/u] they wanted to see their woman with another woman. Never did I tell anyone how to answer or imply straight men were secretly gay, and explained already that I said especially homophobic or insecure guys might think that (and that was in direct prediction from some of the responses I got here, so I apparently was right in some regard). Did I say that meant anyone who wasn't into it was homophobic or insecure??? Nope, never (but by all means go ahead and assume you know me so well and my intentions if it helps you vent). But they are your assumptions, so just speak for yourself. Just because you choose to take things a certain way (and gee, does it have anything to do with you being a straight man, many who shudder at the mere thought of a question like that, but drool over two "lipstick lesbians" doing it?) doesn't mean you speak for everyone on here and how they perceived it. Some may have but that doesn't make it correct or confirm my intentions. You refer to my
implied superiority of intelligence and experience , when what you should have said is your own inferred idea of my "superiority of intelligence and experience". From what I read here and in private messages, many women got what I meant and answered the question without any threat or perceived hostility. I read every post of mine and found nothing accusatory or hostile. What anger or issues do you have that you chose to take it that way? All your quotes of mine are how you inferred them, but the things you have said are indeed hostile, no inference necessary:
your arrogant, condescending, judgmental
get over it; and take your superior condescending bull$hit somewhere else.
While you're at it, go ahead and copy & paste where I called any specific user names as you have me -- can you? Making general statements how "some are or may be or may react" is not directly attacking anyone personally. In fact, I thought attacking another user was against forum rules. Actually you are the very one who is angry when you see opinions that differ from yours. We all know anger stems from men who can't dare to think of homosexuality unless it is with two women for their own pleasure. Straight guys I know and many on here merely say "it doesn't turn me on" or "I wouldn't do it", and women have stated their own opinion as well in both regards, and they didn't feel threatened or the need to attack. Actually, to me, perceiving a threat when there isn't one is exactly what I meant when I used the word "insecure". If anything, you are proving my expectation correct, therefore legitimizing the very words I used, which you say you resent.
But it is not about being straight. I have many straight male and female friends who just are not into the same sex, but not hostile about it; just indifferent. Women are able to simply say "not me" but men have to rant and emphasize how "100% straight" they are and "disgusted" they'd be. And since you asked, the first-hand experiences I spoke of were from men that weren't gay or that I met in a gay setting, so it has nothing to do with me being gay or who I hang out with, unless you mean just more relaxed or open-minded people who are secure within themselves. And yes, as you quoted me, I actually do weigh my own personal experiences and what I've heard from many people over a couple decades of living more than what 10-12 people on one particular website post in the span of one hour of proposing my question, imagine that (guilty as charged); I would hope anyone would! I probably have more straight friends and go to more "straight" places (really just general public, not designated as "straight" or "gay").
I politely thanked everyone for their comments and contributions and thought that was it, but then got attacked for some reason after that post (scroll up). If this forum is going to degrade into name-calling when proposing a simple question (and this reflects the majority on POF as you implied), then maybe it is not for me. But all the forums I participate in are valid, intelligent ones, not the type with hostility shown when not called for (and yes, they are "straight" forums -- many people are civil and respectful, not just gay people on the gay sites you assumed I was speaking of). So please, don't speak about my experiences as if you knew a thing about me, thanks. And if you suspect my diabolical intentions and hidden gay agenda, then ask, don't tell me what's my intention. That makes you come off as the very arrogant, all-knowing and pompous person you accuse me of being.
Thanks and I am truly sorry I dared to pose this unspeakable and shocking question, in the same conservative forum that asks "where do you like to cum?", and discusses topics like public sex and vaginal squirting. Can we end this now or if not, at least continue civilly?  | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 10:00:01 PM | | ok so i am probably one of the few women that will openly admit that i would love seeing my nonexistant man with another guy. And while i have never watched a lover with another man, i have had men allow me to be the male using prosthesises. And i have also been the willing partner in the ffm threesome, and loved it. I guess i'm more open minded than most. | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 10:29:39 PM | Hey lesliemm....
Thanks for responding (either way) civilly.
To all the guys, I am usually the one who takes the straight side when arguing with gay people. So anyone who thinks I had an agenda is wrong. I don't like it when gay guys assume all straight guys are secretly gay or curious. I totally get not wanting people to shove their sexuality down other people's throats. I only posted in this forum because my question was directed toward straight women (and then secondarily to men). I have no desire to convert, convince or tell anyone how to feel. Of course I do not believe in double-standards in general, whether it is a male-female or gay-straight issue, but that was my only objection where I may have stuck up for women (not gay people). Since I am new to POF, I assumed it was for gay and straight people, but maybe not -- I don't know the general tone toward them or people who may be different or not the majority on here yet. It has a choice to indicate same or opposite sex when setting up profiles, so that was my idea. However, I'm not on here for sex or a LTR, just for insight and friendly people, and I can understand if some men see some guy say he is gay that they're not used to seeing on here suddenly ask a question regarding two men. I guess I'd be a little on the alert too
On the Internet, we cannot see or hear a person so we often make assumptions. I assure you, I am not on here to steal women or impose views, just to start all sorts of interesting dialogues like the many other threads I've been reading. I thought of this because I saw a long thread about what makes men gay, etc., so I didn't expect it to be a big deal to bring it up. I can assure you, I am an intelligent person with no agenda, except maybe that we all can express whatever we feel respectfully. I just like to get ideas people of different walks of life, not just gay people or people of liberal views, as some gay people do. If I came off poorly I sincerely didn't see it and didn't intend it, but if anyone was offended I apologize; I know it is easy to assume when you are reading and not seeing and hearing someone. Anyway, I hope we can all be courteous and respectful to all viewpoints. It's all anyone can ask really. Peace.  | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 11:38:20 PM |
Even in the few hours since this post, many women have said they had that fantasy, both openly on here, and in three private messages asserting the same, to answer your previous question.
Sorry, I call Bullshit on this statement.... You're full of it.... and just trying to justify your nonsense...
I did a little check... after I read this message...
As of when I checked...
49 messages total....
3 from women saying yes it was a fantasy of their's... but one of them admitted her man was non-existant so she migt have just been sarcastic...
14 from women saying it was NOT a fantasy...
1 male left a posting implying yes...
8 males were definate NO's...
The other posts were either repeated statements or unrelated to the specifics of the question....
So even allowing for your claimed (and I doubt they exist...) "3 private messages" that means only 6 Yes and 14 NO's from the women....
So don't go making up your own statistics to try and prove your point.... The women don't want to see this stuff.... | |
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| How many women fantasize watching their man with another man?
Posted: 3/20/2009 11:42:08 PM | Thanks and I am truly sorry I dared to pose this unspeakable and shocking question, in the same conservative forum that asks "where do you like to cum?", and discusses topics like public sex and vaginal squirting. Can we end this now or if not, at least continue civilly?
We were being civilized to begin with... it was you that started out with the use of homophobic, repressed and insecure....
That makes you come off as the very arrogant, all-knowing and pompous person you accuse me of being.
Again, your posting is a backhanded insult.... ("conservative forum" indeed...) so yes, you come across as arrogant, pompous and immature... and definately NOT "all-knowing".... If you were "all-knowing", you'd also know how to behave in a public forum.... which you have proven you do not....
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